October 2nd 1996, 9:55pm.

I sit in the limo with Lola and Michael, avoiding their gaze. The whole entire ride from the stadium and back has been a complete dead and awkward silence. I feel like jumping out of my own skin and getting out of here. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest, stepped on, spat on, thrown off a cliff and into the ocean, chewed by a shark's teeth, then put back into my chest again.

I will admit I've always had a slight crush on Michael ever since I arrived here. I don't care if he has a wife or a girlfriend or anything like that, because I'm not one to act crazy about it and show it. But my own sister? Even that's crossing the line for Michael Jackson. I'm trying so badly to forget about it, but every time I do, the scene comes flooding back into my head and all I can is my sister not being able to keep her legs closed. I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't the only time she's done this. I feel my eyes becoming glassy, but I blink them away.

"So, tonight was fun," Lola says, trying to break the silence.

"Yeah, it was," Michael agrees. "What was your favorite part?"

"Hmm, I liked when you strutted out of that space shuttle, it just looked so amazing," Lola responds, giggling again in attempt to lighten the mood.

That's not the only part you enjoyed, I want to say.

"Carmella," Michael says, "what about you?"

I shrug my shoulders, not saying anything now, and for the rest of the ride. I don't care who was talking to me, I just keep ignoring everyone.

♔

We make it back to the hotel by 10pm, and I walk past both of them into the room I unpacked my things in, luckily Lola isn't in the same one. I take a quick shower and change into my pyjamas, then collapse on the bed. As I'm cleaning the frames of my glasses, I start to wonder whether I'm angry or hurt. Maybe it's a mixture of both somehow. I leave my glasses on the nightstand and close my eyes, preparing myself to fall asleep.