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Chapter 9: Before The Fall

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Rumors have it that Elise Dietrich was the most beautiful woman in the Survey Corps ... and also the 'easiest one.' Coming from a wealthy family from the inside wall Sina, it was questionable as to why someone like her would join the Survey Corps.

"I heard that her family found her having sex with a man from the Military Police ... and because of that, her family sent her here!"

"I also heard that her family made the military police hang the guy ... With the excuse that he was plotting against the king."

It was the same thing over and over again. Whenever she walked past people, whenever she tried to eat at the dining room, it was constant chatter and gossip about her. And she couldn't say anything because they were true, about everything.

Growing up in a rich family, were emotional affection wasn't something natural ... It was hard to find the affection and love she needed.

When she was a child, Elise was playing in the garden and got her dress dirty with mud. Next thing she knows, her mom sent a servant to lock her up in the closet for a week. No food, no light.

Elise knew that her mom would have preferred a physical punishment. Like lash her back or slap her in the face, but according to her words, 'We can't afford to leave marks on your body, men won't marry you if you do."

So, starvation and deprivation of light were a good punishment for her.

Shaving her head and de-nailing her were also her mother's option because those things can simply grow back. It had been a couple of times when that happened, once when she spoke out of turn in a political matter, and her father was there. He didn't hesitate to shave her head and kept her locked until her hair was at an acceptable length for men to see.

They removed her fingernails once and that was when they found out she slept with a man without being married.

She was impure now, and unable to marry and so she was here now on the Survey Corps. Her family sent her for two reasons, one to keep the high status of her family and two ... With the hope that she dies outside the walls.

Elise didn't feel love for the military men, but instead what she liked was the affection he gave her. Flowers and secret letters from him and it was just nice to have someone love her. Her feelings for him weren't strong, but she did love him more than anyone from her family.

He was the only person who was there for her. And she was happy, to go against the rules of her family, to sleep with someone who loves her. And although the feelings were not mutual, at least in her side, she still cared deeply for him.

And her family killed him.

"She has probably slept with the entire male population at the Survey Corps,"

"What a whore, now she is sleeping with Levi too."

It was comforting, the sex. She, who had never felt the love from her family, was seeking for it in someone else. And even if it was just sex, she liked to think that the men had strong feelings for her and that they loved her. And in all honestly, must of them did. But when she asked them why they would answer with "I think you are beautiful."

Of course, she was well aware of her good appearance. But even Elise knew that true love couldn't be based on that, the men she slept with weren't in love with her but her looks.

It wasn't the true love she desperately wanted ... And she even thought of giving up on the idea that such a concept existed.

Until she met Levi.

Elise thought that he was going to be like the rest of the men she slept with. But she was wrong ... Completely wrong about humanity's strongest soldier.

"Come on Levi, tell us ... How is she?"

Elise knew better than to spy on people but she was quietly reading behind a book stand, she was already there and wasn't planning on moving.

"I just got into a fight with someone because of that," Levi says. Elise looks between the book gaps and indeed, it was Levi and two other young men. "And as punishment, I need to clean the library, not that I mind but what makes you think I would want to talk about that?"

"Did Levi ... get into a fight for me?"

"Come on, you broke that guy's arm ... She must be really good in bed if you defend her like that."

Elise recognized that voice as she takes a better look, she notices that it was Elias and his other friend, Luca.

"Or maybe ... Do you love her?" Elias asked as he teases Levi. He was quiet as he uses a clothe drag to clean one of the bookshelves. "From man to man Levi ... You shouldn't have emotions like that for girls like Elise, she's beautiful but not worth loving in my opinion."

" ... I already knew that, idiot," she thought.

"You are wrong, Elise is a woman of many qualities that are worth loving. Like how smart she is, she trains hard every day, and even if she doesn't show it, she cares and is kind," Levi faces Elias, giving him a terrifying look. "If you can see past stupid prejudices, then you can see how great of a woman she is."

Levi looks to his side and looks at Luca then back at Elias as if to warn them both.

"And I am warning you if you speak ill of her again like that I won't hesitate to break your bones."

The two young men left him after that, terrified already as it is.

Elise didn't know what was this uprising feeling in her heart. That was the first time someone had defended her like that, it was the first time someone had spoken well of her.

She felt like Levi actually cared for her. And caring was a form of love. If a man like Levi, who didn't let himself get attached to anyone, could have feelings like that for her then ... Would she be able to experience love?

Was Levi the man who should her how to love? Would she be able to experience what it feels like to be loved by someone? True love ... With the man, she expected the least.

And she stood there all night long, waiting for him to finish his punishment. Just thinking that the her feeling that started to grow for him was love.

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Elise was starting to get accustomed to Levi staying in her room after sex. They would talk about their days, as usual, Levi mostly listening as he played with Elise's hair. She enjoyed the act and the warmth they gave each other after a heated night.

They had gotten into an argument the night before, as Levi wanted their relationship to be secretive. But Elise, as she had already confessed her love for him, wanted everyone to know about the two. But just like every argument, they ended up solving it by not talking and instead have sex.

"Why don't you give me hickeys?" she asks as she looks at her body with a hand mirror. Levi was already changing back to his clothes, ready to start the day. "I want them ... they are like love marks. "

She knew that Levi wasn't the romantic type to do those things. And it was probably too much to ask of him especially since they weren't in a serious relationship ... Yet.

"For me, that's like telling everyone we are in a serious relationship and I don't' want that," Levi finishes putting on his shirt as he turns around to find Elise sitting at the edge of her bed. Her blanket covering her body with a small mirror in hand.

"Besides, we already talked about this ... I am trying but I can't feel love towards you right now," he walks over to her. He didn't want to make her feel sad. After all, Elise has to be the first woman who had stayed with him for a long time. To an extent, he cared for her and didn't want to harm her.

"I know, I just want you to love me," the blond one looks to the side, a bit embarrassed. After she had confessed her love to Levi, he was very clear that he couldn't feel the same but he was going to try and love her. She accepted this and also wanted to continue with their friends with benefits relationship. "If you ever do, will you give love marks?"

Levi holds her hands, he had to admit that Elise was very beautiful and had many charming qualities. And if he was being completely honest, it was comforting that someone had stayed by his side this long even when circumstances weren't in their favor.

"Yes," he says.

The beautiful woman smiles, thinking about the day that her body would be covered with love marks. The day when Levi shows that she was completely his and that he was completely hers ... A day that never came to be.

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Levi wished he could sleep more, it was nice to sleep for long periods of time like this. He likes having Maria sleep on his chest, her arm embraces him, and her hair a mess. But of course, anything that he enjoyed last little. He feels her move away from him and he immediately misses her. She sat at the end of the bed, her back was exposed as she stretches her arms.

What was he supposed to say in this situation? Usually, he would remind quiet and just leave the room. But at the moment it feels like he must say something.

"I am going to take a bath," Maria says quietly as she thinks about how yesterday she had brought home a bucket of water. She could heat that up and take a warm bath.

"You were good last night, thank you."

What was wrong with him? Of all other things he could say, that was the best thing he could come up with. He sees her turn around to look at him, a judging look on her face.

"I am not a whore," she says.

"I know, sorry I didn't mean it like that-"

"It's alright, forget it."

There was a heavy silence again and Maria knew that maybe she was coming off as a bit cold. But in reality, she was just extremely embarrassed. How long has it been? Four years since she had intimacy with someone and that someone was Nicholas. After a few seconds, Maria began to appreciate her body a little longer.

There was a small window on top of the room, letting in enough sunlight to illuminate the room. She looks at her arms, at her naked legs and chest.

"You have me hickeys?" Maria pulls the white blanket away from Levi, using it to cover her body. "Do I have some in my neck?"

Levi sat at the other end of the bed as he looks for his clothes. Glad to see that there was some type of reaction coming from her. He had to admit that he was a bit scared and disappointed when Maria showed no reaction after waking up. He didn't know why but he expected something more ... Romantic.

"No, there's none. You didn't let me give you love marks in the neck last night, remember?" Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance and he even felt some sort of déjà vu. "Also, from what I can see, you gave me none ... Why?"

"You don't' understand, I don't want people to see this-" Maria may have not left any love bites in him but she had definitely done her way with his back. Red nail scars on his back, Maria didn't know if she should tell him or not but decided to keep quiet for now.

"Now I am going to have to wear the Survey Corps uniform Petra gave me to cover up for a couple of days," she whispers more to herself as she stands up from the bed, still covering her body with the white blanket.

Oh, how have the tables turned. He remembers a time where he hated the idea of giving and receiving hickeys and now here he was ... Desperately wanting to see Maria filled with his love marks, if only she wasn't covering herself up.

"Are you alright?" Levi notices that Maria was walking a little unusual. She slowly makes her way to his desk's chair and picks up her white dress. "You are walking a little strange."

Again, there was silence and Maria just knew that she definitely won't be answering that question. She knew the reason why but she knew that after a hot bath the pain should go away fast enough.

"... I am just going to take a bath."

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It wasn't like she regretted being with him. It was a beautiful night and she enjoyed herself very much. Nonetheless, she still couldn't wash away the sense of guilt in her body. Now, she couldn't stop thinking about Nicholas and about the possibility of him knowing about this ... It will just break his heart and also Petra. It just felt like she was betraying a friend.

Those were the kind of feelings a simple bath couldn't wash away. She was at a wooden bathtub, with the water she heated up a few moments ago. In some circumstances she had the luxury of taking baths like this. Usually, they were at the river because it was fast and convenient. But it couldn't compare to the privacy of a bathroom.

She was enjoying the tranquility of it as she tried to clear her thoughts and feelings until ...

Levi was coming into the bathroom, a white towel around his waist. Maria could have sworn that she had locked the door but maybe she was just too far distracted this morning.

"Can I join you?" he asks as he stands in front of the bathtub. There was enough room for both of them and although Maria liked the idea of having a bath with Levi she knew that it would be too embarrassing.

"Shouldn't you have asked that before entering?" she asks.

" ... Yeah, you are right,"

Maria regrets her words immediately. Watching Levi's disappointed face was something that she didn't want to see ever again. But she wasn't having the best of mornings, also that she was still a bit angry that Levi gave her so many hickeys. Last night when Levi asked her if he could give her hickeys, she thought it would be two or three ... Not twenty.

"Sorry," Maria says making Levi stop midway. "I am just a bit embarrassed and I don't know what to say, it's been a while and I am trying to figure out what to do."

The short man could understand her completely, after all, he also didn't know how to react. He thought he had this over control but he was acting like a total klutz. As if this was his first time with a woman and it wasn't like that.

He walks back towards the bathtub as he takes off his towel and Maria looks immediately away in embarrassment. Still looking away, she saw with her peripheral vision how Levi began to submerge himself into the bathtub. Now he was in front of her and although Maria tried to stay as far as possible, their legs still touched each other.

Levi took a moment to look at her, most of her body was underwater but he could see some hickeys on her shoulders ... maybe he did go overboard ... just a little bit.

Her indifference was killing him slowly and many questions began to surface with him. Did she regret it? Did she not like it? Did he hurt her?

"About last night ..." Levi starts, "Did you enjoy it? Or did I hurt you?"

His concern was adorable and Maria felt bad for making him worry about her in such a way.

"It just hurts a little but I will be fine,"

"I am sorry, I will try to be more delicate next time."

"No, it's alright," she says as she looks away. "I enjoyed it ... a lot."

He had to admit that he felt proud but more than that, Levi felt happy that he was useful to her. She was looking very desirable at the moment and he didn't mind making love again right now. But seeing that Maria was tired from last night, he decided to back away .... for now.

"Also, I shouldn't be too upset about the hickeys ..." Maria tried to change the topic. "I did leave a lot of marks on your back."

"It's alright, I enjoyed you giving them to me,"

He wasn't supposed to say that. The thought was in his mind and he even felt stupid for saying such a thing. It was one of those moments in which he let his vulnerable side show, something that only happened with her.

"But don't get used to it ... Sometimes I train without a shirt and I don't want people to see," he says but that was actually a lie. He didn't give a shit anymore.

"Alright," Maria lets out a giggle and Levi unconsciously smirks. It was nice to see her more comfortable like this. And this was more or less what he fantasized about doing after lovemaking. Just relaxing and enjoying each other's company.

"Wait, Levi ... You didn't shower before entering the bath ..." Maria says.

"No, I didn't ... Why?"

"Because you are supposed to wash your body first and then enter the bath!" Maria was thinking of a way to stand up without showing too much of her skin but she knew that it was going to be futile either way. "Now I am going to have your germs all over me!"

"I was all over you last night and you didn't complain."

At that she stands up, the embarrassment was too much. She couldn't believe she was falling in love with a man who had no delicacy with such topics.

But maybe that was one of the things she liked about him.

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If he was being completely honest, Levi didn't know he had to shower first and then enter the bath. For him, it seemed like a total waste of water. Growing up in the underground city taught him that things like water were precious and he never even dreamt of taking a bath like this.

Especially like this, with Maria giving him a bath, showering his body with water and soap. He was still at the bathtub and Maria said that she was going to take this opportunity to bathe him properly.

Not like he never did but it was more like a relaxing and grooming kind of bath. She had a white towel wrapped around her body and another one in her hair. She sat on a small wooden chair at the back of the bathtub where she was delicately massaging Levi's hair with soap.

To Levi, life couldn't get better than this. It was just a very intimate thing to do. They were completely comfortable around each other now as if they had always done things like this.

And he didn't complain at all, not one bit.

He felt her delicate fingers massage his scalp as the smell of soap relaxed him. The water was still warm and Maria used a cup to wash off the soap on his hair.

Levi closes his eyes trying to clear his thoughts as best as he could. However, his mind couldn't let go of yesterday night. It was an incredible experience, he never saw sex as anything more than a way to release some frustrations and satisfy his carnal desires. But Maria had shown him a different side of lovemaking.

He couldn't describe it completely with words but if he tries, he could say that it was 'healing.' It was as if Maria was healing his soul, with every kiss she placed on his body, with every kiss they shared. Her soft moans were like music to him, the best he had ever heard and her small declaration of love made his heart burn with passion.

But even after that magical night, Levi couldn't let go of one thought. He knew it was futile to think about such things and even petty to an extent. Nonetheless, his heart was filled with jealousy whenever he thought about Maria and Nicholas.

How many nights of passion did they share? He couldn't get rid of the thought of Maria, declaring her love for Nicholas before they reach their climax together. He knew that it was a long time ago, but he couldn't deny that Flaherty was still a threat. Their interaction yesterday at dinner proved it. How comfortable they were with each other, how easy it was for Nicholas to make Maria blush. Levi couldn't deny it ... That he was jealous of their past relationship.

"So, tell me ..."

Maria heard Levi's voice, she enjoyed their silent interactions but talking to him was always nice.

"Who is better? Nicholas or me?"

Alright but that was something she wasn't going to answer.

"I won't answer that," Maria says as she still takes care of his hair.

Levi suddenly turns around. If Maria didn't know better, she could tell that he was offended.

"Oh, so he is better than me?"

He had a frown on his face. Levi was expecting a different answer from the brunette. But seeing her blush and looking away made him question his performance.

"I didn't say that! I said I wasn't going to answer that question," she replied softly. "How would you feel if I asked you to tell me who is better between Elise and me?"

"You, no question about it,"

Maria blushes and she had to admit that his answer made her feel a bit happy. But still, she didn't want to respond ... Because she knew that he won't like the answer.

She looks down as she tried to avoid eye contact. And a few seconds passed in complete silence and that was all Levi needed to know to answer his question.

"He was better ... wasn't he?" Levi turns back around, facing away from her.

His gesture hurt her a little but sometimes the truth was painful like this.

"He was the first man I gave myself to," Maria whispers quietly, with the hope that Levi was still listening to her. She could see no expression from his face as Levi was only showing her his back. "There are a few things in my life I am sure of ... and at that moment there was no doubt in my heart that he loved me and I loved him ... Making love with the person you love ... there's no better feeling than that."

There was no reaction from him and Maria didn't want anything but to embrace him. But she didn't know what he was feeling. Maybe if she could see his face, she would know. But now, there was nothing indicating her of his current emotions.

"Yesterday ... You said that you were going to love me every day," he says. "Was that a lie?"

"No," Maria said immediately. "That was no lie, I am falling in love with you each day ... But the difference is that I knew Nicholas loved me ... But do you?"

Again, silence and a part of her wished that Levi would turn around, kiss her, and say yes. But she knew that it was impossible. Not now at least.

It still pained her and tears threatened to come out of her eyes at seeing that there was no action nor words coming out of him. But this wasn't the place to cry, she stood up from her wooden seat, not wanting for Levi to see her sad and make him feel bad.

"I am going to my room and brush my hair," she says, leaving Levi alone with mixed feelings.

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Humanity's strongest soldier didn't know what to feel. He felt something and he recognized the feeling very clearly. Anger, sadness, disappointment, and even panic.

Anger, because the lucky bastard of Nicholas Flaherty was still inside Maria's heart and he had to share that with him. Sadness because he felt like a part of Maria still loved Nicholas. Disappointment because he thought he would be the only one in her heart and panic because ... A constant part of him felt like he could lose her at any moment.

And even with all of these feelings, here he was. Outside of her room, trying to think of a way to ask her an important question.

"Just go in and ask," Levi thought. "You kill titans with ease, so why is this so hard?"

"I know you are there, just come in," Maria says from her room. At that Levi curses mentally before entering her room. There he found her, sitting on her desk's chair, a small stand up mirror in front of her. Maria was brushing her hair, the thing he wanted to do the most.

"Just ask her if you can brush her hair, dammit!"

"The outside the wall expedition is on Wednesday and I don't know what may happen ... I may die and well I was wondering ..." Levi looks around the room as Maria stares at him. "Can we make love the night before?"

Alright, that came out worse than the thought.

"Oh? But I am going to the outside the wall expedition on Wednesday too," Maria responded. "I think I should rest well the night before but if you want we can-"

"Wait, what?" Levi's mood changes completely, making himself forget about his past desired. "You are not going."

"I have to, it's not really a choice ... Commander Keith Shadis sent a letter about a week ago, Petra read it for me," Maria said still looking at him. "I thought you knew."

"What do you mean you have no choice? You are staying here," Levi's voice was strong and that sounded more of an order than a request.

"I have no choice, I am the property of the Survey Corps, they tell me what to do," Maria added, "Besides I don't think it's a bad idea, we are going to help heal soldiers in case anyone gets hurt."

"What do you mean you are property of the Survey Corps?" Levi was now getting erratic, it was as if Maria was talking in another dialect that he didn't understand.

"When someone starts as a tavern dancer or prostitute, you start getting into legal debt with the tavern ... They make you sign some papers and such ... The owner allows you to work there, gives you clothes, makeup, food and a place to sleep ... all of that builds up a debt,"

For Maria, this was common knowledge but for someone like Levi, it must be a bit complicated to understand the concept.

"As the years go by, you build up a lot of debt and it's almost impossible to pay it off ... Making you tied down to the tavern forever."

Levi walks around the room, desperate as he listens to Maria's words.

"When our boss was captured by the military police for conspiracy, he paid to get out of jail by selling us to the military police," she continued. "And then the Survey Corps bought us from them ... So, every house attendant is property of the Survey Corps ... They bought us to be house attendants to help reduce the pregnancy rate between female soldiers."

And yes Levi knew that but what he didn't know is that the house attendants were owned by the Survey Corps. And that meant a lot of trouble. Maria and the other house attendants were new about the strange techniques of the Regiment. But Levi knew better than to trust the Survey Corps and it's chain of command.

"And they are forcing you ... to go?" Levi asks and the question concerns the brunette. Maria looks at the cabinet of her desk before opening it and pulling out a letter. She hands it over to Levi who didn't hesitate to take it and read it.

"To the house attendant of this facility,

It is requested of you to accompany the Survey Corps to the upcoming outside the wall expedition. If you refuse to comply with this order, you will be put in trial for penalization and the house attendant title maybe revoked and be asked to leave the Survey Corp's land immediately.

Order from,

Commander of the Survey Corps, Keith Shadis.

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"You are sending them to their deaths!"

Hange tried to stop Levi from getting into a fight with Erwin but at the moment it seemed like an impossible task.

"I can't do anything about it, I am just one of the Commander's advisor," Erwin said from his desk. "If it makes you feel better, I voted against it."

"It all makes sense now, that stupid event was made to collect back all the money you spent buying the tavern dancers!" Levi walks around the room from back to front. This most be the first time Hange has seen Levi like this.

"We had to do it," Erwin replied. He wasn't really concerned about Levi nor wanted to deal with him at the moment. It was a Saturday and he would prefer the quietness.

"But why? You are already killing soldiers, now you want to kill women too?"

Hange tried to step in seeing that humanity's strongest soldier was really about to break Erwin's neck at any second, even when he wasn't at fault at all.

"We are losing too many soldiers recently ... This can help us reduce the number of deaths," This wasn't Erwin words, but the words of one of the other advisors. And if Erwin was being completely skeptical, they had a really good point in the meeting.

"By sacrificing women? By using them as carnage?"

"I think you better than anyone should know that some lives are more worth than others,"

And that was true. A simple fact of life than not even Hange, who was present at the current situation, could complain about.

"We need to do everything we can, try new ways, and plans to find out what best works to keep us alive," Erwin said, still looking at Levi who was now in front of his desk.

"Right ... Because the life of a soldier is more valuable than the life of a whore ... is that what you are trying to say?" Levi said as his deep voice change to that of panic.

"Levi, I think you-" Hange tried to meddle with the situation but instead she found herself getting yelled at.

"This doesn't concern you shitty glasses! You should be angry too! Don't you care for the life of your house attendant too?"

Levi remembers perfectly how evidently Hange cheered for her house attendant on the day of the event. She smiled as she watched her perform and he thought that they had grown a friendship during the time they have been living together.

And it was true, Hange was worried but even she knew she couldn't do much. She was just a squad leader ... What could she do?

"You know that's how society works, that's how the Survey Corps works as well," Erwin decided to speak as he tried his best to break the tension between Levi and Hange. If Levi was going to get angry, it should be at him.

"Not me for me," Levi says. "If you do this, I won't go."

"Have you forgotten that you are allowed to live above ground as long as you are part of the Survey Corps?"

The air suddenly became heavy as few seconds passed in complete silence, not even Hange thought Erwin would touch the subject again.

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, I am being realistic ... If you don't go, Commander Shadis may see this as treason and remove your right to live here and I won't be able to do anything to help you."

Erwin knew that he was being indelicate but he needed to remind Levi once in a while that he wasn't completely in control of his actions and these had consequences.

"I don't care, Maria is not going-"

"If you don't go, you will go back to the underground or be given to the military police and be up for trial for your criminal past ... A lifetime in prison or hanged."

And Levi didn't give a shit about that, at the moment he could only think of the safety of the brunette. Erwin knew that his words were no passing through Levi's head. So, to make him understand, he had to talk about what would happen to Maria.

"If she doesn't go, she will be kicked out of the Survey Corps lands," Erwin says. "Tell me what would she do? Go back to be a tavern dancer? So she can be exposed to be harassed again? Do you think she would want that? Do that and you won't be able to see her again."

And this is exactly what Hange had in mind while watching the two talk. There was nothing they could do, much less Levi who even when he was the Captain, he did not have much power to the decisions of the Commander.

"And don't even think about disobeying orders during the expedition or it will be a worse punishment for you and her."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

Levi seemed to be finally understanding. No matter what he does, nothing would end up good for Maria. But now it was a matter of trust because in the year Levi had known Erwin, he thought that at least they had developed trust between each other.

"Because I didn't want for that fact to stop you from pursuing a relationship with Maria,"

And that was true. Erwin had Levi's interest at hand and wanted for him to have someone who could make him happy.

"It backfired, I didn't calculate correctly ... I didn't think your feelings would grow like this so quickly."

Hange learned two things today ... That Erwin was a wingman, helping Levi get a girl someway or another. And that it seems that there was a 'relationship' between the house attendant and Levi ... And that alone was a very interesting fact.

"I am sorry."

Erwin's words were sincere. And he even felt guilty for ever thinking that Levi could be strong enough to handle the situation. Maybe unconsciously, Erwin was portraying himself into Levi. He wasn't able to be with the love of his life because his job at the Survey Corps was more important ... Deep down, he didn't want Levi to go through that and he wanted to give him an opportunity to experience love.

"Erwin ... If anything happens to her ..."

He couldn't see his face, but Levi's voice expressed more emotion than anything else. He was worried, more than that ... It seemed like he could already picture it, her dying even when that hasn't happened yet.

"We will try to be as careful as possible," Erwin tried to reassure him but he knew that to an extent that his words meant nothing.

"I've heard that before ... And it didn't end well."

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It seems like no matter how hard he tried ... He couldn't move.

No matter how much he screamed for it to stop ... he couldn't.

No matter how much he tried to protect her ... He couldn't.

He just stood there as a titan ate her body, shewing her and swallowing it. Her blood splatter across his face and the only thing that wasn't eaten was her arm and hand. Her hands, which he loved so much. A memory of Maria, caressing his hair ... Something that is never going to happen again.

Why didn't he do anything?

Why did he only stand there? Watching her scream his name, her screaming in pain, the sound of her bones breaking.

And he felt anger rise within him, he wanted to kill the titan. Slay it into pieces, have his vengeance that he craved so much ... But it didn't matter anymore.

He was done ... He didn't want to fight ... Maria was gone.

His life was gone.

Why fight when she is not here? What was his motive? Why was he even doing it in the first place?

To keep living above ground? To discover the truth about the titans? To see the outside world? No, he had no real motive. He was just living because to an extent it was entertaining ... Even in things like this, he was just like Kenny.

But when Maria came along, he was starting to realize the small things. Realizing that there were things to live for, he was discovering his motivation.

And even when she promised that she was going to be with him always ... He felt betrayed because she left him here with an unaccomplished promise and his desire to spend his life with her.

Levi had never given up, he always did what it was needed to keep on living ... But what can he do when life itself separated from him?

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

He woke up exalted, he took breaths as he felt that air was missing from his lungs. He looks around the dining room, just to make sure that this was actually reality. Levi sat on one of the dining chairs, knowing that he fell asleep while drinking his tea.

And even when he knew that it was just a dream, he just needed to make sure she was alright. It didn't even take him a second to stand up from his chair and walk to Maria's room. He knew that his actions were rude but he felt great relief as he opens the door to her room and finds Maria sleeping peacefully.

He had seen her sleep before, but this time was different ... He was just really happy to see her alive.

But the moment didn't last too long as the brunette wakes up as she hears the door being opened. She was about to scream but calmed herself as she saw that it was just Levi.

But he looks different like he had mixed feelings. And Maria knew that he was worried about tomorrow, feeling anxious and maybe scared. She even felt bad to an extent because he felt those things because of her.

"Do you want to lay next to me?"

Levi didn't hesitate and went towards her bed, closing the door behind him and locking it. Maria moves a little to the side, making enough room for Levi to lay next to her. Picking up the blanket, Levi went under the blanket and turned his body to the side to face the brunette. Their faces were close to each other and they just enjoyed the warmth radiating from their bodies.

"I am sorry I am making you worry," Maria whispers but Levi was very close to her and could hear her words. "But, I'll be fine ... Believe me."

That was something Maria couldn't be sure of. If she was being honest, she was really scared. She had never seen a titan before but from what she had heard, they were horrendous monsters. But she couldn't say that to Levi, she couldn't admit that she couldn't sleep at the thought that this might be her last night alive.

"To be honest with you ... One of the reasons why I got close to you was because I thought you would be safe inside the walls," Levi says. "If I have learned something from going outside the walls ... Is that it doesn't matter if I believe in my strength or the promises of others ... I have no control over anything."

Levi broke away the eye contact as he felt anger rise within him. "This is why I didn't want to get close to you ... This is exactly why I cannot let anyone get close to me, nor get attached to them ... They all die and leave me-"

"Are you regretting being with me?" Maria says as she places her hand on Levi's left cheek, caressing it softly. "If I die ... Will you regret meeting me?"

That was something he couldn't answer with certainty. A part of him wanted to lie and say that he wouldn't. But he wasn't like that, he was selfish and had great hate towards life.

"I don't know," he responds, liking how Maria stroke his face delicately. "For me to know, I would have to experience it ... But I can't even imagine you dying ... Just the thought of it ..."

"I know that no matter how much I promise you ... you won't be at ease but I am asking this of you ..." Maria gave a soft kiss on his nose, he wasn't expecting it but he appreciated the act. "If I am in danger, don't dare do anything stupid to save me ... Or I'll be angry."

"That's out of the question, I'll do anything to protect you."

"Stop being selfish," Maria takes away her hand from Levi's cheek and he misses her touch almost immediately.

"How is me wanting to protect you selfish?" He asks a bit offended and disappointed that she was no longer caressing him.

"You care about me but won't let me care about you!" Maria looks at him with fiery eyes. "Besides you have a squad that depends on you! People depend on you, don't let them down just because you want to save a tavern dancer."

And that was the thing. He knew he couldn't let the other's down. He may be put into a situation in which he had to pick ... Maria or the members of the Survey Corps. And at the moment, he couldn't find an answer. It was what preoccupied him the most ... Not knowing what he would pick until the moment happens.

And he wishes with all of his heart that it will never happen.

A few seconds of silence passed in which Maria took the opportunity to speak again.

"If I die-"

"You won't," he responded.

"I am just saying that if I die, can you do me one favor?" Maria's eyes soften. Even when they said that this mission shouldn't be too much of a danger she still couldn't help but wonder. This may be their last night together and she didn't want to ruin it by starting a fight.

And he was thinking the same thing. He wasn't scared of dying but he couldn't say the same thing about Maria. Levi knew that these last couple of days have been hard for her and even so she kept a smile on her face as to not worry him.

"Fine, what is it?"

The house attendant kisses his lips, a small peck that meant a lot to him. And for a moment, he thought that he could break but she still will be there to pick up the pieces.

"Promise me you won't die until you open your teashop, alright?"

He knew that his small dream will take years to complete, it might take him a lifetime and Maria knew that as well. Was this what she wanted? To see him happy regardless if she was there or not?

Although he wanted to complain, he knew he couldn't. Mostly because he couldn't say no to anything that Maria asked of him. When she looks at him with her caramel eyes, when she smiles at him with such sincerity.

How can he say no to such a pure request?

"Would that make you happy?" he asks and Maria nods as she caresses his hair. His black hair that she had grown to love so much.

"Fine, but you have to promise me you won't die until I open it, alright?" He was almost begging her, as he uses his strong arms to put her in an embrace. He smells her hair, a sweet lavender smell radiating from it. How could he be able to live without this? He didn't know and he couldn't think about it either.

But he would anything for her, even find a will ... a motive to live again.

"You have to be there ... It's gonna take a long time so you better stay alive to see it happen."

He whispers in her ear as he places his head on Maria's chest, this time he only wanted to hear her heartbeat.

"I promise," she says as she continued playing with Levi's hair.

He leans in to kiss her as he places his hand behind her neck, trying to get as close as possible to her. Levi slowly begins to make his way on top of her, never stopping the kiss. Making his way slowly, he moves down to her neck, giving it small kisses and sucking into her skin just a little.

"I told you, no hickeys," Maria says as she delicately pushes him away. He gives her an annoyed look as he huffed, looking away. Sometimes Levi could very much be like a child.

"Also, I don't know if you are thinking about this but ... No sex tonight,"

At this Levi lets out a small smirk, as he places his face closer to hers. "No sex, but we can make love."

"No, not sex, not making love ... Tomorrow is the big day we need to rest and besides ... Your squad might hear us," Maria looks away a bit embarrassed, Levi thought of many ways he could enjoy tonight besides sex. But he wanted to be with her for the whole night just in case he dies outside the walls ... But that's not likely to happen. After all, he had the highest survival rate out of everyone.

"You are right, I can stay quiet but you can't," he teases her as he lays down next to her again. They have only made 'it' once and it was during the weekend when no one was at home. Levi understood that the only times where they could be completely alone will be during the weekends.

Wow, he remembers how he hated it when his squad would leave for the weekend to go to town and get drunk. Now, the thing he wanted was for them to leave so he could have the house for Maria and himself.

"I think you got excited too quickly..." Maria looks down at the blanket, where Levi's bulge was becoming more predominant underneath it.

Alright, he probably was expecting more of tonight. But could you blame him? Maria was wearing his clothes like pajamas, he could see her breasts looking too soft to touch and her hair was loose. She was looking too good and she didn't even notice.

"If you can keep quiet, I can use my hand if you would like,"

She was embarrassed about it, but she also felt like she had some responsibility for the problem. Also, she very much enjoyed satisfying Levi.

And how could Levi say no? He was thinking of just going to the restroom and taking care of the problem but if Maria wanted to do it, then he won't deny her. "... If you want, then yes."

Maria's hand slowly made her way underneath the blanket where she delicately caresses Levi's lower abdomen and with her hand, she unbuttons his pants. Meanwhile, Levi was having the time of his life, he closed his eyes and focused on her touch. Her hand began to slowly stroke his exposed member underneath the blanket.

The brunette was also enjoying the act, although she was focusing on Levi's pleasure. It was nice seeing him like this, his cheeks slightly pink, his breaths becoming heavier and small growls came out his mouth because of the pleasure.

"Shit," he softly curses and the word made her stop immediately.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" Maria asks.

"No, it feels good," he replies as with one hand, he grabs Maria's chin. Making her come closer to him and kiss him passionately. She teased him more as she only began to lick his lips and she loved seeing Levi angry with an expression of annoyance.

"Kiss me, dammit," Levi whispers as he made a mental note to have her payback for making him feel so desperate. The brunette really did have him at her feet but he wasn't complaining, he enjoys the feeling now.

She complies as she feels Levi's member twitching a little in her hand. He was about to finish, and at this point kissing him will give him the most pleasure.

After a few more minutes of heavy kisses and gentle strokes, Levi lets out a heavy growl. Maria stops kissing him as to let him breathe, his respiration was becoming less agitated as Maria moves her hand away from his dick.

She didn't notice but Levi kept looking at her only, his fingers touch her cheek up and down. Although Maria didn't mind the act, she wasn't expecting it either.

"Oh, I should go to the restroom and wash my hand," Maria says as she looks at her hand, white sticky liquid covering her small hand. She was about to stand up but Levi quickly stops her.

"Wait, um-" Levi looks to the side, he can't believe he was about to ask this of her. "Wouldn't it be easier ... For you ... to you know ..."

"What?"

"For you to lick it off?"

There was quiet and humanity's strongest soldier found himself speechless. He had never asked of a woman to do so before, this was a first.

"... Do you want me to?" Maria asks, it surprised Levi how the scene seemed to be normal to the brunette. She was mostly unbothered.

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to," Levi looks away, trying to hide his embarrassment. "Forget I asked, just go wash your hand-"

"I'll do it, I don't mind," Maria says. "You know it's funny ... You are usually very straightforward when it comes to sex but when it comes to your wants and feelings ... It's difficult isn't it?"

Maria began to lick off the liquid of her hand, she took a moment to appreciate the flavor. It wasn't bad, which of course is expected. Levi had a nice diet and exercised daily.

"Sex is different for me ... It's not an act of pleasure nor love ... But more like a way to relieve my frustrations and not think about my problems," Levi replies as he watches the brunette lick off his seed out of her hand. It was a very nice act and it gave him pleasure to see that she wasn't complaining at all.

"Oh ..."

He watched her finish licking everything off her hand and Maria looks away as she sits straight in her bed.

"Shit, stop talking Levi."

"But, with you is different," he says, it was difficult for him to express himself. Especially in these situations. "You are not just a partner that I use to relieve myself of my problems ... I like making love to you because ... It makes me happy."

"I am glad to hear that ... Thank you, Levi," her heart flutters at his words. It was strange at how some simple words could make her happy. The only thing she wanted was to make him happy someway or another. Even if he only wanted her for her body, it was nice to know that at least he appreciated her in that sense.

"And it's not only the sex ..." he says out of the blue as if he could read her thoughts. "You ... You alone make me happy."

A few days ago, when Maria and him were taking a bath, she told him about Nicholas. About how making love with Nicholas felt better because she was sure that he loved her. Although he still wasn't sure that what he felt for her was love, he had one thing clear ... Maria makes him happy. Hopefully, that fact alone can bring her some sense of happiness as well.

But he felt like he fucked up the moment, he hears soft cries coming from the brunette.

"Oi! What is wrong with you-"

And suddenly, Levi feels her arms embrace him. Her heart beating fast against his, her chest against his. He smells her hair, lavender and he touches it carefully, delicately as if she was his treasure ... No, she was his treasure.

"Thank you ... You make me really happy too," she whispers in his ear and Levi felt his heart skip a beat. This moment it was almost too perfect and although Levi knew he shouldn't be asking this either ... the thought just crossed his mind.

"Where you ... like this with Nicholas too?" Levi asks, he wasn't angry. he was utterly curious about the past relationship of the brunette. And even so, he felt insecure ... that was a feeling he couldn't get rid of. "You were intimate like this with him?"

She looks up to him to get a better look at his expression. "Do you really want to know?"

Levi nods softly and waited for an answer. She lays her head on his chest this time, an act that he enjoys very much.

"Yes and if I am completely honest ... It was even more intimate,"

Her words hurt him a little but he tried to keep composure. After all, he was the one who asked her about it.

"I lived with him for a year and well ... Yes, we had sex but it wasn't only that,"

Alright, he didn't know if he wanted to keep on listening to her story. But another part of him wanted, he just wanted to know everything about her for some reason.

"We were intimate in other things ... We were comfortable with each other," she says as she softly began to caress his chest. "I could walk around the house naked without it being sexual, he would scratch his tummy without feeling embarrassment ... I would massage his feet, he would brush my hair and we would sleep together even when he would snore once in a while ... it was comforting to me."

Levi could picture all of it, them living happily, being comfortable with each other. Just being themselves and be completely at peace. It was something he was jealous of even if he didn't want to admit it.

"And I guess ... It was those moments that made fall in love with him,"

And with those simple words, his mood completely changed. It made him feel disappointed and sad even to know that there was no way he could compete with that. His insecurities sometimes got the best of him, but it had never been like this.

How even did he ever get to be with Maria? When the perfect Nicholas Flaherty was still pursuing her? When they had such a beautiful past together? Why did Maria even pick him?

He didn't dare to ask that question, at least not now.

"I hope ... We can be intimate," Levi closes his eyes as he took another deep breath. For a moment, all of the worries went away. There was no yesterday nor tomorrow ... Just him and Maria living in this moment.

"So, how does it taste?" Levi ask as to break the awkward silence that had built between them. Not the best of questions, but he was trying his best.

"What makes you think I would answer that," Maria said, she rolled her eyes as she tried to contain small giggles.

"I am trying to be intimate with you in other ways too," he replies. He lets out a small smile as he enjoys watching her laugh. "I am trying ..."

"Let's go slowly, it will take some time to get to that level of comfort ..." Maria pats his head, she didn't want to un-motivate him. But there were somethings she wasn't comfortable with either at the moment. It will take some time for their intimacy to grow and that's just how things are. "What if instead we try something different tonight ... I usually sleep on your chest ... Why don't you sleep in mine's tonight?"

Maybe things were supposed to be like this, Levi was a total fool when it came to things like this. He didn't know about intimacy nor feelings, he just acted upon them. And it felt nice that Maria wasn't scared of that nor was judging him for not knowing how to act properly.

He was stupid, and she was the smart one in this strange relationship of theirs.

Levi delicately places Maria to his side and he accommodates next to her. The act surprised Maria and without knowing Levi places his head on Maria's chest.It felt nice, to have him like this. She also had her questions, about his past relationship with Elise. But right now the moment was too good to ruin it with such questions.

Maria wishes for the moment that Levi could tell her just how he feels about her. Even if their feelings weren't reciprocated, even if he only cared for her as a friend ... It was alright. As long as he lets her be by his side for a little longer.

This may not be eternal, but her smell, her touches, and her soul were something Levi did not want to forget. He listens to Maria's heartbeat as a form to reassure him that she was still with him, alive.

And without knowing about their future, the couple drifted into a sweet sleep.

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

This must be the first time Maria has seen all of the Survey Corps gather in one place. She has been in Shinganshina many times, mostly to visit her friend Carla. She used to be a waitress at a bar and Carla was the one who introduced her to the tavern world. They had lost contact over the years and had the hope to probably see her today.

Nonetheless, that hope had vanished, she didn't have time to see the city again.

Maria was with the other house attendants, on top of a prairie carriage. A simple one made out of wood and without the white coverage part. Two horses pulling from it and a Survey Corps soldier was the one controlling them with its's reins.

Although she had already talked with Nicholas the day before, the brunette wanted to see if it was possible to see him one last time before going outside. She also wanted to see Levi but from what he had told her, he would be at the back of the formation while she was in the front.

Nicholas, on the other hand, should be to the right side of the formation.

"Maria, stop worrying, Nicholas will be fine," Leah said as she already had enough of the brunette turning her head from side to side.

"I know but still ..."

If Maria was being completely honest, she was a bit more worried about Nicholas than Levi. Mostly because she knew that Levi was strong, humanity's strongest soldier and had the highest possibility of surviving out of everyone in the Survey Corps. Meanwhile, Nicholas has never seen a titan before, never been outside the walls, and was inexperienced.

"He trained a lot for this and from what I saw this morning, he was feeling really confident," Lisa says, remembering how Nicholas was even excited to go outside the walls. "You should be worrying about us, we are most likely to die."

"Don't think about that! Just think about our job, if anyone gets injured we need to keep them alive as long as we can," Leah was taking her role of leader and of course, everyone agreed on that. Around 5 to 7 prairie carriages were filled with house attendants, all of them having different thoughts about going outside.

"Maria,"

A voice came calling her from behind. She quickly turns and finds Levi approaching her, on top of a horse and breaking formation.

"Um, now that I think about it ... How does Levi get on top of the horse? Does he jump or something?" Maria knew that it was something stupid to be thinking about but she couldn't help it. She was a few inches taller than him and she even had trouble getting on top of a horse.

"What are you doing here? I thought you will be with your squad at the back," Maria says as Levi finally made his way to her wooden carriage. Still on top of his horse while Maria was sitting in the same place.

Levi leans in closer to her as to make sure no one was listening and quietly whispers in her ear, "If something happens, go look for me."

Maria nods and thought that he will leave after that. After all, they were going to open up the gates soon. But he felt an intense stare on her, he wasn't looking away and she waited for him to say something.

"Just tell her dammit," Levi thought but he always had trouble with asking these kinds of things. "You already made love to her ... Just tell her ... That you want to brush her hair when you both are back from the expedition."

"Can I-"

"Maria!"

Another voice was introduced and this time it was the red-hair man Maria was looking for. The brunette quickly stands up from her seat, which surprised Levi. Maria moves to the other side of the carriage as Nicholas approaches her on top of his horse.

"Is she worried about him? Why didn't she react the same way when she saw me?"

"Nicholas, what's going on? Why are you here?"

Alright, Maria was definitely worried about him, he could tell by just the sound of her voice. The house attendants watched the couple as well as if they were watching a romantic play.

"I wanted to ask you something ... If I survive today, will you go on a date with me?" Nicholas asks, like always he had a bright smile on his face.

"Say no," Levi thought immediately.

"What? No!"

"Good girl,"

"You won't die, don't say things like that," Maria looks angrily at Nicholas, "I won't forgive you if you leave me again ... So, come back to me alright?"

"If I come back to you, will you go on a date with me?" Nicholas teased a little more. It's been a while since he has been alone with Maria. Although it will only be a friendly date, he didn't care. He just wanted to spend some time with her.

"Alright, I will go on a date with you," she says.

"Fuck,"

Maria blushes a little but still was resilient. She had her hair in a ponytail with a white ribbon decorating it. But she was quick to take off the white ribbon, her ponytail was still beautiful nonetheless. "And because you are a gentleman, I'll be giving you this ... You need to return it to me ... So, don't die."

Nicholas was deeply touched. Maria giving him her hair ribbons was their ritual. Before, when he was part of the Garrisons, he was sometimes asked to go to other villages and small cities to help them calm down riots or just lend a hand with transferring prisoners. It could take a couple of days for him to come back but before leaving, Maria would always give him one of her ribbons. With the hope that he will give it back to her eventually.

Nicholas holds Maria's hand and he pulls her towards him. He was still on top of his horse but he bent down a little to kiss her.

It was fast and Maria was not expecting it. With her eyes open, she didn't know how to react. Although it was not a heated kiss, she was still deeply embarrassed.

And also, because she knew that Levi was watching from the other side of the carriage.

Maria wasn't the only one who noticed the deadly look of Levi on them, Nicholas noticed too and decided to make it clear to him.

As Nicholas kisses Maria, he opens his eyes looking directly at Levi who seemed to be ready to cut him in half. But of course, he couldn't do anything, just stay there and watch.

"Thank you, my love, I'll keep this with me," Nicholas says as he pulls away and takes the white ribbon away from her hand. He enjoys watching her blush and he also liked the jealousy radiating off the Captain.

"Flaherty, I don't think you should be here," Levi gallops slowly towards the red-hair man.

"I don't think you should be here either, Captain ... But here we are, aren't we?"

Maria just wanted to disappear while the house attendants were just looking at the three. They didn't know exactly what was happening but they were enjoying the drama.

"Well, I am ordering you to go back to your squad ... Now."

"And if I don't ... What will you do?"

Again, they weren't saying anything but just looking at each other's eyes. An intense fight between the two was going on mentally and Levi only wishes to make the fight physical. He was ready to beat Nicholas to a pulp. But he just needed for him to take the first step, for him to make the mistake of attack him first.

"Actually, neither of you should be here,"

And Maria's savior turned out to be, Erwin Smith. She really thought she was going to have a heart attack but Erwin came to break the tension between Levi and Nicholas. The blond one was also on top of his horse and had positioned himself between the two men to stop them from starting a fight.

"Levi, you need to go back to your squad," Erwin said before turning to look at Nicholas. "Flaherty, I have a new mission for you ... You will stay here and protect the house attendants to the best of your abilities."

"Fuck you, Erwin," Levi thought.

"Yes, sir!" Nicholas saluted as he gave Levi a teasing smile. He was really looking for a beating now.

"Erwin, I-"

"I think I already told you to go back to your squad, didn't I?"

Erwin interrupted Levi who immediately felt offended by his words. But even he knew he couldn't do much against him.

Maria watched the short man gallop away as Erwin followed him from behind. She had the hope to see his eyes one last time before parting. Tragically, the last thing she saw of Levi was him, on his horse, disappearing into the countless soldiers of the regiment.

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Levi knew he shouldn't and didn't have the right to be angry. And at the moment, he didn't know at who he should be angry ... Erwin or Nicholas.

Maybe Erwin, because he was still following him. It should have been him ... the one protecting the house attendants and not Nicholas.

"You need to lead your squad," Erwin said as if he was reading his thoughts. "I am already doing too much for you by assigning a scout to guard the house attendants."

"Nicholas out everyone? He has no experience outside the walls, is he the best fitted to guard the women?"

"No," Erwin responded. "But you know that he will protect Maria with his life."

It was the small details like this, that Levi appreciated Erwin. Although he was still angry at him, he knew that the blond one was right. He had responsibilities as a squad leader and Captain. And it gave him a bit of comfort knowing that there was someone ready to give up his life to protect Maria.

Without turning to look at him, Levi sighs accepting his fate.

"Thank you."

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

The Survey Corps hospital has never been this overwhelmed. It has been a great loss that even Commander Shadis asked of Erwin to replace him as Commander of the Survey Corps. And there was no much he could do but to accept the offer. It wasn't official yet, for that a ceremony needs to be held and Erwin didn't know how to feel about it either.

Now here he was, in a hospital room of the Survey Corps back inside wall Rose. Besides losing a lot of his men today, Erwin could argue that it was a beautiful afternoon. He wasn't the one injured. In the bed was no other than Levi and next to him was the new recruit, Nicholas Flaherty.

Outside the walls, many things transpired that made them be in the current injured situation they are now. Erwin knew that a proper punishment must be conducted after they get better from their injuries.

"Erwin!"

Elise came bursting through the doors, she also had injuries but nothing serious.

"Dietrich, what is the matter?" Erwin turns around, a bit of preoccupation in his voice. He had never seen her like this.

"Titans have breached Shingashina!" Elise tried to stay as calm as possible but seeing Levi hurt and unconscious on a bed wasn't helping either. "They have also broke inside Wall Maria."

So that's what everyone felt a few moments ago, that temblor. But even so, what could they do? They had no men and they were far away from Wall Maria now.

"Many of our men, even the house attendants were still inside wall Maria," Elise looks at Levi who seemed to be peacefully sleeping, and that brought her some comfort. "News travel slow here ... The titans must have breached the walls a couple of hours ago."

"Yes, they are most likely all dead by now," Erwin says. "If they were lucky, maybe they were able to escape the chaos and manage to get inside Trost District as refugees ... But tragically we have no time to talk about them ... I need to talk to Commander Shadis and the other advisors."

Elise watches Erwin walk away, but she had more questions and stops him midway.

"What about the injured? What about Levi? When they wake up ... Should we tell them?"

It only takes Erwin one second to think about the answer. Levi is one to be very careful with things and wouldn't do anything risky unless it was completely necessary. But today he saw another side of him, one who was ready to throw everything away. Risking his life to protect a woman, he didn't know if it was curtesy or just stupidity. But either-or, Erwin didn't know how he would react to the news.

"No, when he wakes up don't tell him anything," Erwin replies. "If he asks about her, just make up a good excuse."

With that, Erwin left the room. Leaving a sleeping Levi and Nicholas with her but she only cared about her lover. She saw everything, how Levi jumped in to save the brunette. Not caring about anything else but her protection. And just when he was about to get eaten, Nicholas comes in and saves him.

How stupid of them but she had to admit ... That she was jealous of Maria. At that moment when Levi saved her and holds her in his arms, the look in his eyes ... She had never seen him like that. Not even in their most intimate moments, she felt like she was losing him already.

Elise gets closer to Levi and leans in to give his lips a small kiss. When she moves away, he was still sleeping and she was glad that he was. She knew that Levi was going to wake up and start asking questions about his house attendant and if she was completely honest, she didn't what to say to him.

"Maybe this is the way things are supposed to be," Elise whispers as she takes a seat on the chair next to Levi's bed. "If she's dead ... Would you be sad? Probably ... I hope I can bring you comfort like last time."

"I've always been here for you Levi," Elise holds Levi's hand dearly. "I think you even know that ... After this, I hope you can see ...."

Elise couldn't help but wonder, just what was going through Levi's mind. Was he dreaming? It must be a good dream because otherwise, he wouldn't look this peaceful sleeping.

"That we are meant to be together forever."

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

A/N: We are slowly preparing for angst lol. I honestly cut out so many things for this chapter but hopefully I can implement them in the upcoming chapters. In this Chapter we learned more things about Elise! Next will be Nicholas and slowly we are building up Maria's character as well. Now that she has started to heal from her brother's death, her life goals and personality will come more to light! Also a sad and tragic secret about her life that only Nicholas knows about ... What could this be?

Also, Levi is slowly opening more in the things he wants. He wants to be intimate with Maria but in other ways more than sex and he just have difficulties with expressing himself.

Now, how will Levi react to the news?

Slowly we are developing the plot and the relationships of the characters. Do you guys think I am going to slow? It's already 90,000 words lol but I do think everything is necessary for the development of the characters. Most of them have traumas and it's hard work to properly develop them so it can be realistic. There are so many things I want to add, like the perspective of Hange, Petra, Erwin and other characters and how they see the story unfold.

For this chapter, a part of me didn't feel completely satisfied. Maybe because it was pretty slow, but hopefully I can make it up with the next chapter.

But in this chapter we are learning more and more! About the house attendants and the real reason why they were brought to the Survey Corps. The story will be getting darker and darker as we progress. In writing, I think my speciality is angst lol, it will take a while to get there but the feelings will be worth it. Especially since I think that a character like Levi is one to learn his lessons through experience.

Also for the smut scenes, I really want to highlight the difference between sex and loving making. For sex, you just kinda do it but for lovemaking, it's more of an act of consent and making sure your partner is feeling well. I also feel like people tend to romanticize it a lot but sex can be very awkward. A lot of communication is needed and I feel like that's why Maria and Levi's relationship is working good so far because they are willing to communicate their wants and needs when it comes to it.

I hope I was able to highlight the differences properly, especially with Levi because as I said before, he used to have sex but not really focused on creating an intimate bond with it.

On the other hand, I love smut and all that stuff but I just don't want my characters to completely bond over that. I do want them to do other intimate things together, and I feel that's why it took me so long to finally have them do 'it'.

I feel like, when Levi and Maria first met each other, they found themselves to be fairly attractive. Just when you are in the streets and see someone you think is attractive, you don't want to sleep with them but you are attracted to them. And as you spend time with the person, you may develop a desire for them. Not really love, but just a desire. It wasn't love at first sight but I do think it is more believe-able for those romantic feelings to come up later in the relationship.

I am not an expert on love nor feelings because it varies with the person ... But hopefully, you all can see what I am trying to do with my story!

This chapter came out early! I am really spoiling you all lol. Well, I am publishing this early because I need to work on something over the weekend (For university and my real job) and I may not have time to upload on the weekend. However, I'll keep on trying to bring you a new chapter each week!

Thank you so much for following One Last Time, please do comment (It motivates me a lot to keep writing) and let me know what you think of the story so far! Constructive criticism is also accepted!

SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK WITH A NEW CHAPTER <3