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Chapter 12: Truth

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When Levi went back to Erwin's office, he didn't expected to get invited to town on the weekend. Apparently, the Commanders of the other military sections wanted to talk to him before he takes over the Survey Corps. Erwin needed and wanted to go ... But not alone.

"Do I really have to go?" Levi asks, he was standing up facing Erwin who sat behind his desk.

"Well, it would be good for you to make connections with the other Commanders," Erwin notices that Levi wasn't wearing his brown jacket, which was strange because an hour ago he was wearing it. "Also, I would enjoy your company."

"Where would it be?"

"Probably at a bar or tavern, it's nothing special."

He did not want to go, he really wasn't one for meetings. Also, he didn't want to go to a bar, he enjoyed drinking from time to time but he wasn't one to get drunk. Although drinking helps him sleep, he preferred to stay home and drink black tea. Maybe even continue teaching Maria how to read and write-

"Wait, when are we going?"

"This weekend."

Now, this was more interesting. He knew he shouldn't but if there was a small possibility of seeing what type of 'date' Maria and Nicholas would be having, then he will take it. He wasn't going to follow them or anything like. But he also enjoyed the idea that maybe Maria would get jealous. If they are going to a tavern or a bar, there would definitely be women around. And of course, he was going to highlight that in tonight's conversation.

"Fine, but if you get drunk I'll leave you there," Levi says already thinking of leaving for the day.

"Seems fair," meanwhile, Erwin was unsure if he should ask him or not. About why he seemed more agitated than usual, in the sense that his hair was a mess, his shirt wrinkled and it wasn't tucked in like it usually is. It had been just an hour ago since he saw him and he was sure he already knew the answer to Levi's current state.

"So, how are things going with Maria?" Erwin decided to just word his question differently. "Have you figured out how you feel yet?"

"Why are you asking?" Levi was on the defensive now. Like always, he just hated it when people would meddle in his business. Even if it was Erwin.

"I talked to her, she is a nice young lady," the blond man says. "I can see why you have an interest in her."

"We are nothing serious," Levi responded as he tried to end the conversation quickly so he could go back home already.
But there was a silence and Levi hated it because he could feel Erwin's eyes on him. He was analyzing him and the situation at hand.

"You are afraid aren't you?" After a few seconds, Erwin speaks up, sure of his words. "That one day she will disappear or leave you?"

He hated it every time Erwin would tell him the truth in his face. And all Levi could do was to stay quiet, waiting for Erwin to finish whatever he needed to say.

"I have to admit that I sometimes, I see myself in you ... I also loved someone," Erwin says. "But I had to let her go because I didn't want to hurt her ... Now she is happily married and expecting a child."

Erwin sees Levi who had his arms across his chest, he was listening to him and patiently waited for him to continue.

"And to be honest with you, I sometimes regret it," Erwin continues as he keeps looking at Levi in the eyes. "But knowing that she is happy and safe it's enough for me."

"What I am trying to say is that you should try and be happy with-"

"Doesn't it hurt?" Levi interrupts him and although the question startled Erwin just for a tiny second, he still wanted to answer it.

"Yes, but her happiness is more important to me," Erwin continues. " ... But sometimes I wish, I could be with her."

Once again, his mind and heart were at battle. His mind was telling him that he should stay away from Maria or that he should keep his distance with her. As to not harm her and not to get attached. He was terrified of the thought of getting attached and Maria leaving. Even right now when his feelings are unclear, he was uncomfortable with the idea of Maria staying away from him.

However, his heart was telling him something else. It wasn't thinking logically. Whenever he would see her, he would want to hold her hand, hug her, caress her hair, and tell everyone that she was his. Only his and he wanted to be hers only.

And he could only wonder ... No, he knew that his heart was fucking him up. Because he had strong feelings for her but he didn't want to admit, no that has to be impossible. He just wanted for things to continue the way they were, for them to being intimate and spending time together. How was that wrong?

Oh yes, it would be selfish of him to make Maria wait for him and make her lose the opportunity she has at happiness with Nicholas.

Why? Why was it so hard for his mind and heart to communicate?

"Levi ... Don't make decisions that you might regret later."

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The week ran smoothly except for small things. Of course, many things had to be done. It has been a week since the titans breached Wall Maria and everyone wondered about the future. It even scared some people that at any day given, the titans would come again.

But for now, everyone needed to continue their duties. Although Erwin was not yet Commander of the Survey Corps, he had already talked about his interest in exploring soon Wall Maria and see if there is an opportunity to close the wall.

And as to maintain their good physic and not go rusty. Everyone who survived the recent outside the wall expedition and who was not injured was required to go back to training.

"If you still need me to bathe you, don't you think it's better if you stop going to training and rest for a bit?"

Levi was doing all better, and if he was being completely honest, he didn't need Maria's help. Nonetheless, he really enjoyed her bathing him and would come up with the excuse that he was still very hurt and needed her to help him bathe. Besides that, this was probably the last bath he was going to have with her. It was Friday, tomorrow she would go with Nicholas on their stupid date. On Monday she will be leaving to Hange's squad house to attend them until their house attendant is back from the refugee facility. It was part of his stupid punishment and he just wanted to enjoy her company as much as he could.

"You will be leaving in two days, so I might as well use you while I can," Levi says as he feels that Maria began to massage his scalp with soap.

"Use me?"

Levi really needed to stop referring to people as objects, especially her. It was just difficult for him to express his feelings and not come off as a total jerk.

"Well, not use more like-"

"No, it's alright, I understand," Maria's voice changed and even her hands' movements changed in mannerism. They were soft, almost non-existent. "I am sorry, I need to um-"

Levi didn't know what was going on and why the brunette had suddenly stop. But a few seconds passed in which there was no movement, no words. She was behind him but Levi didn't dare to look at her, scared that he might hate what he sees.

"Do you think you can finish bathing yourself? I am sorry, I don't feel good today," Maria asks trying to control her tears as she wanted to break at any second.

"Yes, you may leave," he responds quietly and at his words the brunette suddenly stands up from the wooden seat and heads towards the door, never looking back at Levi.

She exited the bathroom, she didn't want to see his face nor wanted him to see her.

Maria tried containing the tears until she came out of the house, it was dark and cold.

She said that it didn't matter if Levi loved her or not ... but it still hurts her immensely.

She had no intention of breaking her promise of always loving him. But she had to admit that it still hurts whenever she was reminded that Levi did not reciprocate her feelings. Levi would sometimes act strangely, he was sometimes distant, and other times he would be gentle. Delicate and strong. And there was a part of Maria who thought that everything was a farce. That his kind and charming words were part of his plan to just keep sleeping with her.

And she didn't want to think like that. Maria wanted to think that Levi wasn't that type of man and that he had honor when it came to that.

This was the type of thing Maria knew she would be handling the moment she accepted his proposal. She didn't care if Levi would break her heart but it still hurts.

And that's why she needed to leave the house for a moment because she didn't want Levi to see her like that, she didn't want to make him feel guilty.

Her eyes began to blurry as her tears began to fill her eyes. The outside candlelight provided enough light for her to see but there was nothing that could stop her tears from coming out.

When was the last time she felt like this? Since Nicholas didn't show up at the wedding? Since he left her? How much could she love? That it pained her to this extent?

She heard a horse galloping, coming closer to her, and quickly she began to wipe away her tears. Her eyes became fixated towards the person riding the horse, it was someone she knew very well.

"Hey, Nicholas, what brings you here?" Maria asks with a fake smile on her face as Nicholas comes down from his horse. He approached her and he immediately knew that there was something wrong.

"Hange needed some documents from Captain Levi and I offered to come as an excuse to see you," he says, he tried to stay as calm as possible. "Seems like I came at a good time."

Maria was still faking her smile and Nicholas looks at her with a sad face. He just knew that she was lying and that she was hiding something from him.

"You used to cry with me all the time," the redhead says with a soft voice, "Don't stop yourself now."

And suddenly, her smile began to disappear as her eyes began to water again.

"Can we talk now?"

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Nicholas didn't know that it was going to hurt this much. But as Maria began to explain what happened during the last months, he began to understand. He knew that something was going between Captain Levi and Maria but he didn't know it was going to be this severe.

The house attendant had fallen in love with the worst man possible, she had made love with him and had spent moments of intimacy with him.

His heart broke and for a second he wanted to let a tear but he didn't have the time to think about himself. After all, Maria always spoke clearly to him. She didn't have any feelings of love for him anymore.

And he knew that, but it still hurts to know that Maria had picked Levi over him.

She picked a man who didn't think about her feelings at all.

"It's not fair and you know that," Nicholas and Maria were sitting on the grass, in front of the river. "What about your needs? What about your wants?"

"They don't matter ... I only want his happiness," she responded and he quickly began to feel anger rise within him.

"It doesn't matter?" Nicholas looks away, the sound of the water flowing down the river was always comforting but at the moment he couldn't find comfort in anything.

"Maria, you are disrespecting yourself, you are disrespecting me, your friends, and even your brother," the redhead says. "You are disrespecting everyone who cares or cared about your happiness."

At the moment, the only thing that was providing light for the couple was the moon and the stars. The sounds of crickets and nocturnal birds, and the water flowing were the only things that could be heard.

"He makes me happy," Maria tries to make eye contact but she found it difficult as Nicholas seems to be fixated to look away.

"Happy? Do you call this happiness? Because if you do, then your vision is fucked up," Nicholas was trying his best to contain his feelings, to contain his rage but at the moment it was the most difficult thing to do.

"After everything you went through, after everything ... The tears, the nightmares, the anxiety."

But how can't he feel anger? When he still has nightmares about what happened to Maria years ago?

"Don't you think it's fair for you to want to be happy?"

Maria was quiet and he hated that, he wanted some type of reaction coming from her. But he knew she was quiet because she knew that he was telling the truth.

"What I am trying to say is that you should be selfish, you should want more out of life," the redhead was still looking away, not wanting for Maria to see the tear the threaten to come out of his eye. "A week ago you told me that you wanted to start living for yourself ... But look at you now ..."

And Maria knew what was happening. Maria knew Nicholas too well, she knew that he was emotional like that and on rare occasions, he would hide it. Especially since in their relationship they were always open about their feelings. And she had to admit that she was embarrassed, she was feeling ashamed for everything.

"Is this the life that you want? Really? You are disappointing me," Nicholas knew he had no right. He didn't have any right of telling her this, but his feelings were completely wrecked, absolutely broken. "If your brother was alive he would be disappointed too."

"Don't talk about my brother!" she screamed at him as she was begging him to look at her.

"Look at me in the eyes and tell me if your brother wouldn't be saddened by this?" Nicholas suddenly turns around, facing her. His eyes were like crystals as tears filled them. His voice was threatening but he would never harm her. "Would he be happy? By you crying about a man who has no feelings for you?"

Maria broke down in that instant because she knew that Nicholas was right. Her heart broke the moment his blue eyes met her caramel ones, they were both so vulnerable at the moment.

"How selfish can he be? Making you go through all of this pain?" Nicholas puts his strong hands on her shoulders and he moves her softly as if he tried to put some sense into her head. "If he had feelings for you, he would have never done that, he wouldn't put you through this."

"Stop," Maria didn't want to hear it, the truth.

"And it hurts you because you know it, you know that if Levi loved you he wouldn't want you to go through this," but Nicholas wasn't going to stop. He knew that the truth hurts but it was better than to live in a lie. He just wanted Maria to be happy but this happiness was going to be short-lived.

"He doesn't show it because he is scared ... He has lost a lot of people, friends, family. He is just scared!" She didn't want to hear it, it was something she was avoiding for so long and she wasn't ready to hear it. But it seems like Nicholas was focused on telling her the truth.

"Maria, if he loved you he would put his fears aside for you and he doesn't!" Nicholas felt his voice crack but he still tried to be strong for her. He needed for her to see the truth, to see that she was wrong. "If he loved you he would try to make you happy by being in a relationship with you instead of hiding you as if you were a whore!"

"But Levi has told me! He has told me that he doesn't want to hide me-" Maria was a complete mess, her eyes were red, her voice cracked by every word. She just wanted to believe in Levi, how was that wrong?

Nicholas didn't want this and he blamed Levi for everything. For all the lies, for making someone like Maria his. He didn't know he could hate a man so much. Nicholas felt anger and disappointment because deep down he had hope that the Captain was different. But Levi was just a selfish bastard.

"Lies! If he didn't want to hide you he would have accepted to be in a formal relationship with you by now!"

And he kept watching her cry as he pulls her closer to him. Embracing her, her heartbeat against his. Her tears soaking his white shirt as he caresses her hair.

"If he loved you ... He wouldn't have any doubts about being with you," he whispers in her ear, blaming himself for making her cry. Nicholas knew he was being cruel with her but this was necessary. "But he does, he has all the doubts, all the fears, and insecurities ... Because he simply doesn't love you."

"I just want to make him happy," her heart broke, her feelings were a mess but she knew that she needed to hear this. Deep down she always knew ... That she was living an impossible dream. "His happiness is my happiness."

"And I know you do ... But don't you think there are other ways to make him happy?" Nicholas took a sniff of her hair, she smelled like lavender just like always.

"I know he doesn't love me," Maria tried to articulate words even when the crying made it complicated. "But how can I stop loving him when he has shown me so much? When I feel so happy when I am with him? How his simple acts make me feel so special?"

And they were things that Maria would never talk about with Levi. About the way Levi cares for her. Like the time Levi stayed up all night writing down new words for her to learn. Like the time she mentioned she liked grapes and Levi walked for hours in the rain just to find a tree of grapes for her. Or how he would go to her room at night just to make sure she wasn't cold.

There were small things that Levi would never admit he did. But Maria knew it was him, his smalls action and how they talked. He sounded so sincere, and he would show her his vulnerable side.

Were all of those actions a lie too?

"I know we are done, I know that what we had its broken and we could never have what we used to," Nicholas caresses her hair, softly. "I know I was wrong in kissing you, and in wanting to court you again ... and I am sorry."

"You know I will never be able to make up for what I did to you, everything is my fault and I know it," Nicholas let himself go as he began to let tears roll down his face. "And even I know that a part of you hates me ... For what happened to you, for leaving."

"But when I tell you that I love you! I wholeheartedly do!" He separates from her as he looks intensely at her eyes. "I love you to the point that it hurts, I love you to the point to let you go."

"And I hate him, I hate him because he will never love you as much as I do! I hate him because he makes you cry! Because he makes you go through this!" Nicholas places his strong hands on her face as he wipes away the tears with his thumbs. "He would never be able to let you go so you can be happy, he doesn't deserve you and neither do I but-"

"It's always been you and me, always," Nicholas appreciated her face. Her crying was terrible, her face was red and ugly but he didn't care. "Can't you be happy with me? Just you and me ..."

"I promised him that I would always love him that I would never leave him ... And I plan to keep that promise."

"And you can keep doing that, you can keep loving him, you can stay with him," Nicholas gets closer to her face. "You can love him and stay by his side as his friend, as his companion ... You don't have to give your body nor your soul to him ... and if he really cares about you, he won't mind."

"But I am scared ... That if we do this ... I may end up falling in love with you."

"That is something I can't stop ... I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do ... We can stop whenever you want."

Suddenly, she remembers their talk. The night at the dance event. His words, his feelings ... the first moment Levi was completely honest with her and maybe the last.

Did she already make him happy? Was giving herself enough for him? Was her job done? If she lets go of him ... Would he be alright with that?

"Maria ... live for yourself," Nicholas starts getting closer to her, she could feel his breath on her lips. "If he loves you ... He will let you go ... Just for you to be happy."

Nicholas wanted to kiss her but as he leaned in to close the gap between them, Maria pushes him away softly. She moved her head side to side, denying him. Although her act pained him, he understood.

"Don't ... You know it will end badly for us," Maria caresses his face as she wiped away his tears. "Can you just hug me?"

And of course, he could. He will hug her as many times as she wanted, for eternity if necessary.

The stars and moon shone above them, the wind blows across them, making their aromas mix together. Their hearts beat at the same rhythm, they cry together. Their feelings were poured out, expressing each other with cries, tears, and contact. They needed comfort, they needed to feel that they matter to someone, to each other.

And Nicholas knew that Maria won't stop loving Levi just like he won't stoping loving Maria.

And Maria needed time, just to figure out her feelings and wants. She knew that she won't stop loving Levi but just how much her love could hold onto? To what extent did her love for Levi go?

She didn't know but she begged to everything divine that her love could last a lifetime.

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Levi tried not to go crazy. But he had to admit that he was having a difficult time holding himself together. He was trying to be strong as his team was sitting in front of him, watching his every action.

"I am sure Maria is fine, she likes to take midnight walks," Petra tried to reassure her Captain as she noticed that he was starting to worry. "Right, Eld?"

Eld looks up to Petra, he was sitting in front of her and although he tried to keep a positive attitude, he was even worried.

"Um yeah! If anything we could look for her," Eld looks over to Levi. He knew that when it came to the brunette, Levi was quick to panic. But even he had to admit that he was deeply worried about her.

"Can we all just stop lying already?" Oluo interrupted the scene as he slams his hand on the dinner table. "She is being out for two hours! There is a fucking horse outside!"

"What if she got kidnapped or something?" Gunther also stepped into the conversation. "You know there was been a lot of kidnappings recently, family members of the Survey Corps-"

"Gunther!" Petra interrupts him and she looks back to the Captain.

How long has it been since he felt this way? He always had moments in which his hands would sweat, his body would tremble and he felt the need to harm himself. His abandonment issues, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks ... He has always dealt with that quietly. He didn't want anyone to know, that dark side of him.

But right now it has become extremely difficult to hide that.

"I need to see her ... I need to know she is alright," Levi had many thoughts but he knew that seeing her would be the only thing to calm him down. Strangely enough, shortly after Maria arrived the first time at the house, his panic attacks and suicidal thoughts decreased greatly.

But whenever she left, whenever he thinks she left him ... It came back with a greater force.

"She can't leave, she can't leave, she promised me," Levi tried to reassure himself as he felt he didn't have control over his body. He began to feel that he couldn't breathe, that his hands trembled without his knowledge. "Stand up, look for her."

But his body wouldn't move, even when he tried so har to.

"Let's all go look for her," Eld says as he stands up and everyone follows. "I'll look in the river and Petra you look in-"

But suddenly the door opens and the brunette walks in, all eyes on her.

"Maria!" it was Petra the first one to react as she ran to meet the house attendant as everyone follows.

"Where were you? We were so worried-" but she stops herself as she noticed that Maria wasn't looking her best. Her brown eyes were swollen, red and her face was pale looking. "Have you been crying? What happened?"

"No, I am sorry ... It's just my allergies," Maria says as she fakes another smile. "I am sorry, I was just taking a walk and got distracted."

"And the horse that was outside?" Elds steps in, he was extremely worried about her.

"It was Nicholas' horse, I took a walk with him and we just talked for too long."

"Oí! At least let us know next time you are leaving, we were about to look for you!" Oluo says.

"Yes, the Captain was also very worried about you, right Levi?" Everyone turns around to look over at humanity's strongest soldier but at that moment he stands up.

He walks over the group who were standing in front of the door.

"Where the fuck were you?" Levi asks with a cold voice and his words surprised everyone. "What were you doing with him?"

But it was quiet, for the brunette it was hard to formulate an answer at the moment.

Levi on the other hand was living through hell, his mind still not accepting the fact that she was here.

"I asked you a fucking question, answer me!"

"Captain Levi!" Eld was the one to snap at him and try to make him stop from saying something else. "I think Maria had enough for the night and wants to rest."

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It was around 3 am and Maria couldn't get a wink of sleep. It was mostly due that she couldn't stop thinking about Levi. He had never spoken to her like that and if she was being completely honest, it did hurt. But there was something in his eyes, on his facial expression that Maria couldn't quite describe. A sense of panic and fear, something she had never seen before in his face at least not to that extent.

And strangely enough, it felt familiar.

Maria stood up from her bed looking down at her white long nightgown. She wanted to talk to Levi and knowing him, he was probably awake at the dinner table.

But he wasn't, him not being there surprised the brunette and decided to investigate further. As she approached his room, she could hear strange sounds coming from the inside. Exasperated breathings of pain and panic.

It wasn't normal. As her heart began to worry about his safety, she opens the door, not caring about a reprimand later on.

Levi never locks his door, knowing that everyone was too scared of him to even try to get inside his room without permission.

Maria found him next to his bed on the floor. Sweating incredibly, his whole body trembling, his eyes red, nose bleeding. His knuckles bleeding while little small drops of blood were left on the floor next to him.

And Maria instantly knew what was happening. She knew because she had experienced it before too. After she was abused she would have constant nights of panic attacks, moments in which air will leave her lungs, her whole body sweating, and moments in which tears wouldn't stop. Moments in which she would pull her hair, slap herself, and thought of self-harming in other ways.

The difference between her and Levi was that Nicholas was there to support her through the process and bring her back to reality.

But who did Levi had? No one ... until now.

Maria gives out a heavy sigh, not out of annoyance but out of understanding. She closed the door behind her as Levi seemed to not understand completely what was going on. He felt embarrassed for her to see him in such a manner but his body wouldn't move on its own even when he had tried to stop. It was as if his mind was disconnected from reality and there was nothing, absolutely nothing he could do.

Levi continues pulling his hair out of desperation, impacting his fist against the ground with a great force. Breathing heavily as he felt that he could pass out at any moment. Tears wouldn't stop coming out of eyes, he just felt like he was dying, a slow painful death.

And as he was about to punch the floor again, he felt a hand stop him. The act surprised him and although he wanted to move away, he couldn't.

Maria grabs his other hand and held them tightly with both of her hands.

"It's ok, just breath with me," Maria felt how Levi's hand trembled in hers as they sat down on the floor. "You can get through this."

The brunette begins to softly caress his hands. Maria took heavy breaths, breathing in and breathing out as a way for Levi to follow her steps.

And he does, as he felt that his mind was concentrating on Maria's voice. It was slow and soothing, something that he needed at the moment.

"That's it, continue like that," Maria says as she slowly moves next to him, this time she wraps one arm around his shoulders trying to bring him comfort. Slowly, she moves his head into her neck, letting him rest his head on her shoulder. She takes one of his hands and places it on her chest as a way for him to feel her heartbeat and respiration rhythm.

His body was still shaking but his body began to relax a little more as he took a sniff of Maria's lavender smell. As he follows her breathing and felt her heartbeat on his hand.

Levi didn't know what it was, nor why he was so attached to her. It was as if his body activated a new sense in him, a sense of protection and comfort whenever she was with him.

He has always had moments like this, they were at random and sometimes something will trigger it. But there were very few moments in which his panic attacks were this strong in intensity.

His body began to calm down as he felt Maria's hand softly caressing his hair, something he enjoyed. His face against her neck, smelling her lavender smell. Her heartbeat against the palm of his hand made his mind go back to control his body.

He was exhausted, emotionally, and physically. There was nothing more comforting at the moment knowing that she was here. That's all he needed, that's all he wanted ... Just her and him, just exactly like this.

For now, he could forget about everything, his abandonment issues, his panic attacks, his emotional and psychological problems. None of that existed, at the moment he lived in the perfect place. A brief moment of comfort, of a comfort Maria could only bring him.

He closes his eyes as he tries to enjoy the moment just for a little bit longer. Just like this, just him falling asleep on her arms.

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Levi opens his eyes wide open the moment he wakes up. It was early morning and with no other thoughts in mind he stands up from the bed. Quick flashbacks of the night before popped in his mind and he didn't hesitate to stand up from his bed and head outside his room. Although he felt more relaxed, his mind still wanders around thinking why the brunette wasn't next to him when he woke up.

He heard sounds coming from the kitchen and he didn't think twice to check to see if it was her.

And indeed it was her. It seems like she was about to exit out the kitchen the moment he entered because she was holding into a basket of dirty clothes.

"Oh, good morning Levi," she says smiling as he stays quiet for a few seconds. "How are your wounds?"

He woke up so fast that he didn't realize he had some bandages around his hands, especially in the knuckles area. It didn't take him long to figure out that Maria had wrapped up his hands.

Levi stood quiet again and Maria took his silence as a way for her to continue talking.

"I made you some white rice, it's still warm in the pot and I boiled some water in case you want to make yourself some tea-"

"Why? Where are you going?"

His voice was fast and there was a bit of concern that intrigued the brunette.

"I am going to the river to wash some clothes then I'll come back and finish cleaning the house before I leave for tonight to town," Maria spoke softly as she walks past Levi who followed her with his eyes. "Would you be alright?"

There were many things he wanted to say. He wanted to apologize for the way he spoke to her yesterday and thank her for the way she comforted him last night. However, he couldn't organize his thoughts nor formulate words.

"Yes," he simply says and that calmed the brunette. He appreciated that she didn't mention his acts of the last night, it was something Levi didn't want to talk about at the moment.

"Good, I'll be back as soon as I can," she smiles at him as she walks away. "If you need anything you know where to find me."

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The brunette didn't have much to think about, well that was a lie. There were many things she needed to figure out but there were so many that she felt overwhelmed.

She just wanted to enjoy this moment she had for herself. A moment of privacy and quietness was needed sometimes.

Maria was aware that starting next Monday, she was going to stay a couple of weeks at the house of Hange's squad. Although she didn't like the idea of leaving Levi, she had to admit that maybe having distance will help her clear her mind. To figure out what she wants to do next with their 'strange' relationship. Well not strange, they were basically friends with benefits or partners for pleasure only.

The question here was whether she wanted to continue with that type of relationship or not.

She was washing the dress that Levi gave her, she tried to be as delicate as possible as to not tear off the fabric. On the distance, she could hear horses coming towards her. Three female soldiers, all of them wearing Survey Corps uniform. Maria stood up from the ground, holding onto the wet dress. She watched the female soldiers dismount their horses, and walk towards her.

"Good morning, how may I help you-"

"Are you Maria?" one of the women interrupted the brunette, it was in a rude manner which surprised Maria.

"Yes," Maria responded as she looks over the other soldiers. A woman with short brown hair, another one with long black hair, and the other one standing in front of her with her black hair in a ponytail, blue beautiful eyes.

"Oh, so it's true!" the woman turns around to her friends. "Rumor has it that Captain Levi has a new toy ... And seems like they weren't wrong."

"Going out of Captain's office wearing his jacket?" the woman with short hair says as she gets closer to her friends. "Wow, what a whore."

"Look, girl, we have nothing against you. We are just here to warn you," the woman with black hair says as she gets closer to Maria, putting an arm around her shoulders. "Captain Levi gets a new toy once in a while, Elise for example ... She was his toy for the longest time."

"She was in so much pain after they broke up, we just don't want that to happen to you," the third woman who had stayed silent finally spoke up. "Your in everybody's mouth too! Do you think is worth it to give up your reputation for a man?"

"It really isn't, and I am telling you based on my experience." the woman with blue eyes said as she looks over to Maria. "We don't know what it is about Captain Levi but he has terrible taste when it comes to picking women ... they are mostly obsessive ... like Elise ... like us."

Her words took the brunette by surprise, did she really have to deal with them too?

"What? Did you think Levi has only slept with Elise before?"

And suddenly, the woman takes away the dress Maria had in her hands and pushes her into the ground.

"Great, just what I needed," Maria thought as she stood up from the ground, a small scratch on her arm. "Levi ... You really pick the worst women to sleep with."

"Do you all really want to fight for a man?" Maria says, not caring anymore if they do something against her. "Tavern dancers, whores like me fight for men all the time ... But all of you are soldiers, I thought of you all differently ..."

Maria walks over to the woman who pushed her and stared into her cold blue eyes. "It makes me wonder who the true whores are in here."

At her words, the female soldiers gaze at her with hate and the woman with blue eyes didn't hesitate to tear-off the dress she was holding into her hands.

Maria's eyes winded in surprise as the dress was the one that Levi had gifted her.

"Well, let's see what you got ... whore,"

Maria was about to throw the first punch but the strong sound of a horse's neigh interrupted the act. Everyone's attention was headed into the beautiful woman dismounting her horse. Tall, blond, fierce blue eyes. Maria knew her very well.

Elise Dietrich.

"Great ... just exactly what I needed," Maria thought. She was in trouble just a few moments ago, but now she was definitely in hell.

Especially when Elise had warned Maria to stay away from Levi.

"Squad leader Schneider, good to see you here," Elise said with a teasing smile. "Last time I saw you was during our fighting training session ...  Would you like a rematch?"

"Maybe ... but not right now," the woman says with a smile as she throws the torn-off dress at Maria. She turns around to look at her friends. "We have better things to do anyways ... Let's get going."

Elise waited for the three women to gallop away before turning to face Maria. She stood quiet and looks at her up and down.

"Let's have a talk."

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Maria was surprised that they were actually talking. She thought that she would be left bleeding on the grass but instead, Elise and her were sitting on the grass, in front of the river ... Talking.

"I want to apologize to you, I've realized now that what I did to you was wrong," Elise says, she keeps her eyes on the water flowing across the river. "All I want now is for Levi to be happy."

But the brunette could not believe her, not yet. Although Elise had rushed in to help her, there was something off about the beautiful woman.

"Can I ask you something?" Maria asks as she turns around to face Elise who immediately nods. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"The day of the outside the wall expedition ... I saw how Levi looked at you ... The way he rushed in to save you," her sky blue eyes seemed sad and even nostalgic for a moment. "The desperation in his eyes and how drastically they changed when he held you ... I could tell ... that his feelings for you were strong."

Maria didn't know if it was the way she spoke or the way her eyes shone with regret.

"I love Levi ... So, I just want to see him happy."

There was a silence, one in which Maria only focused on her face. She seems to be in deep thought and Maria only waited for the blond one to continue.

"I know what I did was terrible and I will never be able to apologize enough but ... I am asking for one chance to prove to you just how deeply sorry I am."

This time Elise turns around, intimidating Maria just a bit with the intensity of her blue eyes.

"And it's alright if you don't want to forgive me ... all I am asking is that from now on you stay at Levi's side."

Her words showed so much regret and sincerity that Maria even felt guilty for thinking so badly of her. The way her eyes wanted to cry, the way her strong body trembled every once in a while ... She was deeply sorry.

Even like this, Elise was still very beautiful. Maria's insecurities began to build up inside of her and how couldn't she? Elise's blond wavy hair shone against the sunlight, her skin looks incredibly pretty even when she wasn't wearing makeup, only her red natural lips, and pinky cheeks. Her blue eyes always showed a sense of sadness but they were fierce nonetheless.

"How in the hell did Levi even paid attention to me?" Maria thought as she kept looking at her. "She is so smart and beautiful ... And she is not a bad person ... She just loves him too much."

"It's fine, I think I kinda understand you," Maria looks away this time, a bit embarrassed to be in such a state in front of such a beautiful person. "You will do anything for him, wouldn't you? You really have the strength to let him go?"

"I admire that ... At this point, even if I mean nothing to him ... I don't know if I would be capable of leaving him," it was strange but Maria felt a connection with her. "Is it wrong? To love him this much?"

"I'll be honest with you, Levi is a hard man to love but once you do it's impossible to go back," even when all of this was a farce, Elise felt kinda comfortable with the brunette. "He makes you feel special, doesn't he? He fights for you and he does things he wouldn't do for others?"

Maria's heart skipped a beat as for a moment she thought that Elise could read her mind.

"I am sorry to break it to you but Levi is just like that," the beautiful woman looks away as she lets out a small laugh.

"He is secretly nice to everyone even if it's unintentionally ... Once I saw him talk to soldier all day about how his wife left him and Levi didn't even know the guy but he still comforted him."

Elise grabs a small pebble and throws it into the river and watched it bounce off into the distance.

"You are not special, you just think you are because no one has ever treated you the way Levi has," she says. "Levi is the special one ... Fighting and trying to be nice from time to time even when he fails ... Not everyone can do that."

There was a silence again and Maria couldn't help but think just how simple of a person she actually was. That's right, maybe she wasn't special to him, maybe ... That's why he never meant to have a serious relationship with her.

"But I guess that's why we fell in love with him."

"Was he like that with you too?" Maria asks as she interrupted the blond woman. "Did he hold your hand in public? Would he sleep on your chest? Did he tell you how happy you made him?"

"No," Elise thought but of course she couldn't say that out loud.

"Yes," Elise replies almost instantly. "He may not admit it but we had something special ... Everyone thinks that we only had sex but ... Levi and I had a good relationship based on trust and we loved each other ... but relationships can't just be based out of love."

"Can I ask you one more thing?"

Elise nods, happy to see that the brunette believes her lies.

"Why did you two break up?"

The brunette gazed at Elise's eyes and without much thought, the beautiful woman responded.

"I wanted to make our relationship public but Levi just wanted to stay a secret," she says. "He would always say that I was the best thing that happened to him so ... Why would he hide me? We just had different plans for the relationship and well ... That's why we broke up."

"I don't want to hide you ... How could I ever hide the best thing that happened to me?"

His words clashed in her mind as she remembered what happened a few days ago. Tears threatened to come out of her eyes but she stopped herself, knowing that it would be humiliating to do so in front of Elise.

"I didn't expect for her to fall so easily, oh well better for me ... I need to thank Leone and her friends later for helping me out," Elise thought as she tried her best to stop a smile forming in her face.

On the other hand, Maria knew that she was in big trouble. That her heart will be destined to suffer from his indifference. And she was scared and terrified that one day she will leave him, that she won't be able to keep her promise to Levi. The promise she made to him of loving him and staying with him forever no matter what.

But just how much pain can she endure until she has to let go?

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Levi wanted to be in any place but this one. The burping of old men after drinking beer, the loud live music in the background, the bad service, dirty table and floors, people screaming at each other as they couldn't hear due to loud music.

There were candle lights everywhere as it helped illuminate the room during the night. His mind was flying in all directions but the conversation at hand. He was only there because Erwin had ask him to come and in all honestly he didn't think it was going to be that bad. After all, they were talking with the other commanders of the military sections. But it seemed to be all the contrary as the men who held a high social status were deeply drunk. Even Commander Nile was there and from what Levi knows, he used to be a friend of Erwin.

"Cheers for the new Commander of the Survey Corps! Erwin Smith!" Nile took a big gulp of his beer as he gave a small pat on Erwin's back.

"Not yet, the official ceremony is not until tomorrow," Erwin says, he already had five glasses of beer and he still looks the same.

"Well, it's almost official then," a bald man said. From what Levi knew, his name is Dot Pixis and he was in charge of the Southern Division of the Garrison. This was the first time he ever interacted with him.

"But your friend right here is incredibly quiet!" Pixis said. "What's wrong? Scared your wife might find you here?"

Not really scared, more like he was thinking about her. She must be having a very romantic date with Nicholas the lucky bastard.
He had the hope that he might run into them here while in town. But of course, knowing how his luck works, he won't see her until later tonight.

Pixis took Levi's silence as a negative answer to his question and decided to continue. "Or maybe not your wife but ... a woman of interest?"

"Something like that," Levi says as he takes a sip of his beer, he would really have preferred to drink tea at the time.

"Oh, so you haven't told her how you feel?" Nile interrupts the conversation as he turns to look at Erwin. "You should ask Erwin to help you out! He helped me get with my wife."

"Oh, really?" Levi faces Erwin, this was something he didn't know about and he may use it to blackmail him later.

"Yeah, you may see him as a simple man but he is actually a poet!" Niles says, a bit too drunk. "He would write love letters to my wife and send them on my behalf-"

"Can we speak about something else besides women?" Erwin asks a bit annoyed.

"Like what?" Pixis asked this time.

"Survey Corps soldier's family members are being murdered ... The first murder was reporter two weeks ago, so far it's been five."

"It is strange ... The situation kinda reminds me of Kenny the Ripper ... but instead of killing soldiers, someone is killing their families," this time Nile had calmed down as he took an interest in the conversation.

The atmosphere of the bar was lively but their table became very gloomy at the mentioning of the dead.

"These people have nothing in common, besides that a family member is part of the Survey Corps ... It seems as whoever is doing this, they have a grudge against the Scouting Regiment," Erwin says. "As soon as I become commander, I would like to start an organized investigation along with you three."

Humanity's strongest soldier listened to every word and every sentence. It was uncommon to hear people talking about Kenny, and people pronouncing his name would always leave him a bad taste in his mouth.

The other two men agreed as they continued drinking but then Erwin turned to look at Levi, "Also Levi, tomorrow will commemorate six months since you became captain of the Survey Corps ... We are going to start the process of getting you an official wax stamp seal, just for the legitimacy of documents and legal matters."

"Yeah, sure," he replies.

He didn't want to be paranoid but he was focused on the fact that people were being murdered. People related to the Survey Corps members nonetheless. Was it even safe for Maria to be outside during this time? He didn't want to admit it but he was kinda glad that at least Nicholas was providing her with some company.

"But let's talk about that tomorrow after the ceremony, shall we? Let's have some fun today," Nile says as he picks up his glass of beer.

"Fun? A serial killer on the loose, people starving because Wall Maria was taken by titans, people are dying ... and you want to have fun?" Pixis immediately tenses the mood and looks at everyone with serious eyes. "Oh well, if the titans breach Wall Rose at least we will die drunk."

It was these kinds of talks that made Levi get into a bad mood. It wasn't like he didn't care about the current situation, he deeply does but sometimes it could be exhausting, thinking about it all day and night. The uncertainty that their lives could end at any second, either by titans or by criminals.

"I want to see her now, I know she must be alright but ... It will be comforting to see her."

"Yo, Levi, so going back to the topic of women," Nile says again as he is going for his fourth glass of beer. "How is she?"

Although he would have hesitated to answer that question, Levi thought that maybe speaking about her would decrease his anxiety.

"She is kind and knows how to clean."

His words wasn't the response that Nile was looking for, so he tried to ask again in a different manner. "Is she pretty?"

"Very."

"What's her name?"

Now that was something Levi didn't want to talk about. Although he enjoyed talking about Maria, he didn't want people to know too much about their business. He just likes the privacy of their intimacy and didn't want to share that with anyone.

Seeing that he was deeply silent, Erwin decided to speak on Levi's behalf.

"Her name is Maria and works as a house attendant for Levi's squad," Erwin answers.

"Oh? She was one of the tavern dancers that you bought from us?"

"Correct."

"Well, Levi don't you know the saying?" Pixis was one to get into the conversation now. "Don't fall in love with a tavern dancer ... They are complicated."

"She is not, yes she has her problems like everyone else but," Levi takes a pause as he looks down at his drink. "But she is a simple woman ... And the world is in such a state of chaos that her simplicity brings me joy ... That's it."

"Well, it must be hard for you isn't it?" Nile asks. "My wife was a waitress at a bar and still she had many men around her ... I swear I sometimes thought I would die of jealousy. I can't imagine how it is being with a tavern dancer ... Are you alright with her being ... Well, you know ... A prostitute?"

Erwin just stood quiet, watching from afar. He was curious about Levi's feelings towards his house attendant. He didn't know if it was the alcohol but Levi seems to be more open about talking about her now.

"Maria used to dance ... No prostitution was involved," Levi says and without skipping a heartbeat, he continues. "But even if she was a prostitute ... I don't think my situation with her would change."

His words left the whole table speechless but nonetheless, they enjoyed how humanity's strongest soldier was slowly opening up.

"You must really love her then," Nile says. "If I was you, I wouldn't hesitate to ask her to marry me."

"I am not too sure about that," Levi says. "I am still trying to figure out ... how I feel."

"I've been married for a year and let me you something," Nile gives Levi a small smile. "You don't feel love ... Love is an action, not a feeling."

"You need to invest time, communicate, be supportive," Nile gives out a small smile as he thinks of his wife, he really was lucky. "I am not saying there won't be ups and downs, there will be but what matters is that you both work together to reach that level of intimacy."

"Take your time, relationships at the beginning are not perfect and they are not supposed to be," Nile watches Levi who was in deep thought. "You may not even know it, but you could be doing the act of loving without you realizing it."

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By the end of the night, Levi had to admit that he was kinda glad to have come to the bar with Erwin. Not only did he clear his mind, he also was given some comfort and advice by Nile.

If love was an action ... Does that mean that he could start loving Maria whenever he wanted? Whenever he could?

But still, his mind was clouded by confusion. Just what type of actions was love? What kind of things did that imply?

"You need to invest time, communicate, be supportive,"

But was he doing that? He had to be honest that he wasn't the best partner. He was actually the worst. Why? Because he wasn't doing anything based on actions but feelings.

He felt scared, anger, jealousy, and he is possessive ... Things that are not healthy. Even when he tried not to ... his mind would react otherwise. He had an attachment to her and he knew that. But what could do when he was emotionally unstable? Maria shouldn't have to suffer nor deal with his psychological problems.

It was him, he had to work to change for himself.

To try and be better for her ... the only question reminds... Would she be willing to stay with him in the process? Or will she wait for him until he was ready?

It was hard because even when he knew he needed to work on himself first, he didn't want to let her go.

"I am not saying there won't be ups and downs, there will be but what matters is that you both work together to reach that level of intimacy ... Take your time, relationships at the beginning are not perfect and they are not supposed to be."

Would it be alright for him ... For them ... To start a serious relationship, to finally define what they feel and ... try and love each other as much as they can? To be supportive, to communicate, to be there for each other?

Levi's thoughts were interrupted as he heard a small knock coming from outside his room's door.

"Come in," he says as he stands up from his bed, sitting at the edge of it. His heart felt at ease the moment he realized that it was Maria.

"Hey, just wanted to let you know I am back ... Did you have a good night?" Maria asks, she was still at the door with a soft smile in her face.

"Let's just say that it was quiet ... Interesting," he replies, waiting for her to close the door.

"Well, at least it wasn't bad," Maria says. It wasn't like she didn't want to talk to him but she wanted to give him his space just in case he felt like being alone. "I put some water to boil in case you want tea later on the night."

"Thank you,"

"Well, I guess I should head out to sleep-"

"Wait," Levi raised his voice, just a little. "What about you? I thought you would stay out longer."

"I was planning to but Nicholas got drunk too fast ... and guess who had to carry him?"

She lets out a small laugh but Levi showed no reaction whatsoever. It was strange for them to have silent moments like this, well more like they didn't have much to say to one another.

"There's something I want to talk to you about,"

There was something in her words that Levi didn't like and as much as he enjoys talking to her, he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what she was about to say.    But still, he had to comply.

"Sure, what is it?"

Levi moves a little as to give Maria space to sit next to him. She closes the door behind her and was fast to take a seat next to Levi on his bed. Only three candles illuminating the room they were in.

"In the morning, I talked to Elise and tonight ... I had a long talk with Nicholas and they made me realize many things," her voice was soft and gentle and Levi couldn't help but feel the panic rise within him.

"Elise ... talked with Maria?"

"I think I've realized now ... What I want," Maria let out a sigh as she looks down at her hands. "I know what I want to do now ... with us."

The few seconds that she paused made Levi's hands tremble. Was this it? Was she going to end their 'relationship'? Was this the end? Was she going to leave him?

"Levi ... I-"

"You are leaving me, right?" His voice came out like a whisper, even as a soft cry for help as he wants some type of comfort from the brunette.

"What? No! All the contrary," Maria grabs Levi's hands, holding them delicately. She could feel them trembling. "I've realized that I want us to continue the way we are."

"What?"

"I don't want to put you on any pressure nor force you to be in a formal relationship with me ... You said you were being selfish by not giving me a proper answer but," Maria looks up to Levi, his dark blue eyes met her caramel ones. "I think it's also selfish of me to ask for one when I knew that you never reciprocated my feelings in the first place."

Levi stayed quiet, dumbfounded as he wanted her to continue.

"I can't put you through that kind of emotional turmoil if you don't want to," Maria says. "So, I want you to stop caring about it ... I think I've already said this before but I just want to reassure you ... I've decided that I'll stay by your side as long as you want me to."

Levi could not react, he was speechless and that was something Maria was only capable of doing to him

"What I am trying to say is that while I exist, you will always have someone who loves everything about you," this time she looks away, blushing at her own words. "I may be jumping too fast into conclusions but I can't deny what I feel at the moment ... I don't think I've said this upfront but ... The truth is ... That I-"

Maria looks up at Levi again, making a small pause as she tries to get the courage she needs.

"I love you."

And just like that. Just one sentence, three words, and the walls around him began to crumble down. Brick by brick, as if a mirror had broken into million pieces. He felt liberated and numb at the same time. A strange feeling that began to overtake his heart and fill up his body.

Was he ... Happy? Utterly and extremely content?

As he stood quiet, Maria felt her heart beat faster and her embarrassment was over the roof. She could only feel Levi's blue gaze on her and his mouth a little bit open due to the surprise.

"Well, look at the time! I need to go to sleep now," Maria stands up from the bed as she wanted to leave his room as fast as she could. "If you need anything, just let me know-"

But as she was about to walk out, a strong hand grabs her arm. As she turns around to face him, his face showed a pleading expression. He wanted her to stay, to give him time to explain things and talk.

But Maria knew better ... That he just pitted her.

"Maria, I-"

"Don't say it," she says as she looks away. "Don't say it unless you are completely sure ... If you say it without feeling it then ... It will just be too cruel for me."

Levi knew that she was saying the truth and that she didn't deserve half explanations. It was better for him to wait and decided the right choice for his path ... For their paths.

"I just told you ... Not to feel pressured ... It's alright."

Levi wanted to say more, anything that would make her feel better and to wipe away the melancholic look off her face. However, words wouldn't formulate nor come out of his mouth. And he just knew couldn't say anything too lightly.

But as he was about to let her go, humanity's strongest soldier noticed a scratch on the brunette's arm.

"What happened? You didn't have this before," Levi looks at the red area of her arm. "You don't even have it covered."

"It's just a small scratch, it's alright," Maria says simply, she didn't see what the big deal was.

"How did this happen?" Levi stands up as he walks towards his desk. He opens one of the cabinets to find a square band-aid.

"..." the brunette stayed quiet, she didn't know if she should tell him or not. Just how would he react?

"Maria?" he asks again as he walks back to her, a band-aid on his hand.

"I-"

"And don't lie,"

Maria watches as Levi delicately places the bandaid on her arm, covering the scratch completely. A few seconds passed in silence and Maria knew that it was better to speak about it.

"Someone one ... pushed me and I fell,"

But the moment the words left her mouth, she felt an intense gaze at her. She felt a bit scared, not of him but of what he might do.

"How did it happen?"

"... I was washing clothes and some girls came up to me and-"

"Who were they?" His gaze became heavier by the second and she could tell that he was worried and angry at the same time.

"I don't know, Elise mentioned a last name but I don't remember-" Maria tried explaining but Levi just focused on getting the necessary information.

"Why was Elise there?"

"I don't know, she defended me from them-"

"How did they look like?"

At that question, Maria sighed in defeat. She softly takes Levi's hand off her arm. He wasn't hurting her but she wanted to make a statement.

"Levi please, stop," Maria walks towards the door, it was a long day and she just wanted to rest. "It's fine, I am alright."

"Fine, but I'll be asking Elise about this," Levi tries to regain a little bit of composure as he sits back at the edge of his bed. He still had many questions but he didn't want to put Maria in an uncomfortable situation either. "The women who came up to you ... Where they ..."

Levi didn't know if he should proceed with his question. He suspected that Maria knew he had slept with other women before but he still didn't want to look bad in front of her.

"Did they said that ... That they and me ... You know ..."

And that's why she didn't want to tell him. Maria didn't want Levi to feel guilty about what happened, he didn't want him to feel responsible but what could she say? Lie?

And as if she was heard by the gods above, she hears the whistle of the kettle from the kitchen, the water is finally boiled.

"Oh, no the water!"

And with that, Maria left the room. Having the perfect excuse to not answer Levi's question and avoid him for the rest of the night.

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Walking across the corridors of the Survey Corps facility and heading towards the dining hall, Elise was happier than usual since her plan was going smoothly.

Tonight, Erwin was going to officially become the Commander of the Survey Corps and she was going to be named one of the Commander's new advisors. Other new titles are going to be distributed and she couldn't wait to have the attention on her.

"Squad leader Dietrich," a female voice distracted her, she turns around to face Leone Schneider.

"Leone, I've been looking for you .... I've wanting to thank you and your friends for molesting the house attendant back at the river," Elise smiles at her friend as she begins to walk next to her.

"No problem, you know that after you paid my father's hospital bills, I own you everything," the woman with black hair says. "I'll do whatever you ask me to do."

"I appreciate that and I'll take it in mind ... Remember to follow our plan in case something happens regarding the whore," the blond one says already having a smile on her face with just the thought.

They were about to get inside the dining hall but they made a small stop.

"I have to admit that I am impressed, just how many people do you have at your convenience?" Leone asks.

"Just the necessary,"

"It surprises me how people can change perspectives so fast," Leone watches as soldiers walk past them, entering the dining hall. They smiled at each other without a worry in the world.

"Yeah, it only takes a good last name, money, and do a few favors for people to love you," Elise says as a fake smile decorates her face.

"Everyone used to call you a whore and a bitch when you used to date Levi," Leone looks at the beautiful woman in front of her. "Not so much now, right?"

"Hehe," Elise lets out a small giggle as she finally decided to enter the dining hall, Leone following form behind. "They thought I was a bitch before, but they haven't seen anything yet."

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There were two reasons why Levi was here, one because he was forced to and two because Maria was also here. Even when they were sitting at different tables it was nice seeing her talk with her friends.

It wasn't like he didn't want to support Erwin become the Commander of the Survey Corps, it was just that he wasn't a fan of big crowds.

"Yo, Levi we know that you like Maria but stop looking at her ... It's becoming creepy!" Hange teases him as she sat next to him. Like usual, his squad and Hange's would seat together at events like these. He won't ever admit it out loud but he felt at ease with Hange and could even consider her a close friend. Even when she would sometimes annoy him.

"I am not looking at her, I was just spacing out," Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance. Another thing he liked about Hange was that she would tell him the truth and point out things he didn't want to see.

"Yeah, then I must really have bad eyesight," Hange says sarcastically.

"You do, shitty glasses."

Hange lets out a laugh as Levi didn't understand her sarcasm. Just how in the world did Levi ever get the heart of Maria was a mystery to her, not like she minded one bit.

Now, this was a quite lovely scene. Well, kind of. There weren't as many soldiers as before due that a great number passed away recently due to the expedition of the walls and some others were still greatly injured. But even so, Hange couldn't help it but feel a little bit positive as her squad and Levi's talked naturally. Other soldiers talk and even laugh and overall everyone was excited for Erwin to step in as the new Commander. Nobody could deny that Erwin was definitely talented and destined to be Commander since the beginning.

The official ceremony took place already and all the Survey Corps soldiers were there. Now there was a small dinner, house attendants were invited as well and some announcements were expected to be made by the new Commander.

Everyone stands up as Erwin enters the dining hall and gave him their iconic salute. The blond man walks towards the small wooden stage, it was built for small things like this. Everyone stays quiet as Erwin takes over the stage.

"You all may rest," Erwin says with a loud voice and everyone does as he says. They go back to sit on their tables. "I Erwin Smith, 13th Commander of the Survey Corps, have a few announcements to make."

"First, I want to give Hange Zoe the title of 'second in command," Erwin says out loud. "I know her scientific research will help us win the battle against the titans."

After that said, everyone begins to clap and cheer for the scientist. Moblit even gave the squad leader a small hug and Hange smiled in embarrassment. Maria claps as well, happy for her friend.

"As the new Commander, I will be appointing my new advisors," Erwin says once again and everyone went silent, wanting to hear the names.

"Felix Nowak,"

Everyone cheers again, happy for the soldier.

"Peter Mazur,"

"Leone Schneider,"

"Elise Dietrich,"

Everyone cheers and claps with their hands at the mention of the names. However, Maria's ears almost exploded at how loud everyone cheered for Elise.

She had to admit that even when she was intimidated by her and didn't trust her much, Maria still admired Elise. She was young, beautiful, and smart. It was a strange type of admiration and from time to time Maria kinda wished she would be more like Elise.

As the cheering died out, Erwin cleared his throat to say one last thing.

"One last announcement," Erwin says. "After constant planning and meetings, the Survey Corps will launch a new program in which our house attendants and soldiers will unite to help the people inside refugee's facilities."

And suddenly, Erwin looks directly at Maria, the brunette feeling completely embarrassed as everyone turns to look at her.

"Our program will be under the supervision of Maria Turret,"

Levi watched from afar and he could say that he felt proud of the brunette. He was about to clap and even stand up but he realizes something. No one was clapping, nor cheering for her. It was completely quiet, except for the awkward and slow claps of the house attendants around her. Why wasn't everyone else clapping and cheering as well? Even if it is out of courtesy.

"Wow! Maria, you go girl!"

And of course, it was Hange the one to interrupt the silence and make it even more awkward. It was completely silent, only her cheering could be heard.

"Hange, stop," Levi says as he grabs her arm and forces Hange to sit down. "You are making it worse-"

"Maria, is there anything you would like to say?"

Erwin tries to change the mood but to the brunette, it wasn't the best idea. Now she was basically forced to say something.

Maria stands up, she hated speaking in public and especially when everyone just seems angry by her presence.

"I am just thankful for the opportunity," the brunette says, "And I hope we can work together to create a better future for the people who reside inside the refugee's facilities."

Maria made a pause, waiting for a type of reaction from the crowd but nothing. As she sat down on her seat, she heard it. A small whisper that could be heard by everyone in the silent room.

"Pfft, whore,"

"I guess sleeping with the Captain has its advantages,"

"She's probably sleeping with Erwin too,"

They were small whispers but Levi could hear them all. He couldn't help but take a look at the brunette. Maria tried to pretend that she couldn't hear them but she did. And Levi couldn't take it. Her sad face, her caramel eyes that tried to contain the tears, the fake smile she gave her friends as to reassure them that she was alright.

But she wasn't.

And it broke him, it pained him to an extent that he couldn't believe possible. It was hurting him and for a moment he thought that maybe he had been shot, but no. It was just his heart that shrank the moment he saw Maria's face.

Was this the type of thing she had to endure every day? The humiliation? That impotent feeling?

Everything just because of him? Just to please him? ... Just to be with him.

"You need to invest time, communicate, be supportive,"

He needed to stop being so selfish for once. Could he put his insecurities aside? For her? There was no doubt, he would do anything ... Anything to make her happy so no residue of sadness remains in her face.

It was time ... For her to know, for everyone to know.

His feelings may not be clear enough, his words would stumble and not formulate properly. But he hopes with all of his heart that his actions speak louder than his words.

Let his actions speak in behave of the feelings of his heart.

"You don't feel love ... Love is an action, not a feeling."

"I also have an announcement to make," Levi says out loud as he stands up from his seat, the murmuring suddenly stops as all eyes were on him. "I am a man that likes privacy but it seems like ever since I became Captain, people have taken a liking to talk about my private life."

There was silence but Levi wasn't planning on backing away.

"If it interests everyone so much, then let me tell you all," Levi takes a deep breath and he points directly at Maria. "That woman right there, she is my ... girlfriend."

Levi didn't know but the smile Elise had on her face disappeared the moment his words left his mouth.

"At the beginning, it wasn't like that ... I only used her body for pleasure," he says loudly and he didn't care that Maria could almost faint due to embarrassment. "But as I got to know her, I couldn't help it ... She completely bewitched me."

A few seconds of silence passed in which Levi's blue eyes met Maria.

"Tragically, she doesn't know how to pick men properly so she is stuck with me," Levi says as everyone's attention was still on him. "Having made that clear, now I will tell you all ... If I hear a single comment, anything that indicates you plan to harm her physically or verbally ... I'll break you all's bones."

Levi's eyes sharped as his stance became stronger and no one could deny it ... That they were terrified of humanity's strongest soldier.

"And this is not a threat ... It's a promise."

After a few seconds passed and made his point clear, he turns to face Erwin.

"Oh and congrats Erwin, I hope you don't kill us all ... cheers."

At that, Levi sits down again and took a sip of his beer. It was quiet, one because it was embarrassing.And the other was because no one could believe that Captain Levi had open up like that.

Not even Hange nor his squad that surrounded him could believe it, everyone was just left with their mouths open.

"Thank you, Captain Levi," Erwin says as he tries to make the situation less awkward. He wasn't expecting for this night to go like this but it was better than he expected in a sense. "Very well, if no one has anything else to say, you are all dismissed ... Enjoy the rest of the night."

At that, everyone slowly began to go back to normal. Mostly to talk about what happened and others would just exit the dining hall.

His eyes laid again on the brunette as she covers her face. Maria's friends teased her without stop. Slowly their eyes meet for the smallest of a fraction and Maria looks away immediately, looking at her friend Leah who was next to her.

"Well, this is going to change a lot of things," Hange whispers to Levi and they gave Nicholas a quick look. His hair covered his eyes, a gloomy aura around him and suddenly he stands up and leaves the dining hall. "But I am happy for you Levi and I am proud too."

"Uh?"

Before Hange could say anything, their attention was also focused on Petra who had stood up and left without saying a word. Levi couldn't help but feel guilty and he knew that he needed to talk to her as soon as possible.

"I hope I made the right choice," Levi says as Erwin comes into the picture, taking a seat next to humanity's strongest soldier.

"From what I've seen not everyone is happy," Erwin says as he takes a seat and drinks a little bit of water from a cup. "Which is strange ... I've never seen the Survey Corps react like that."

"Well, maybe if Levi kept it in his pants before we wouldn't be in this problem," Hange teases as she received an annoyed look from Erwin.

"What?" she says. "It's the truth!"

"Yes, but still-"

"She's right," Levi was a bit annoyed, but he needed to recognize his mistakes. "When Isabel and Furlan died, I should have focused on treating my pain in a healthy way instead of having a promiscuous behavior."

"Before, I didn't realize that my actions had consequences and maybe I would have kept treating my pain the same way," Levi looks up to see Maria once again. "But she happened ... And I can't let her suffer for my past mistakes."

Hange and Erwin stood quiet, a little bit dumbfounded by Levi's sudden words.

"I am proud of you Levi," Erwin says, a small smile on his face. "I didn't want to say this before but after your friends died... I never understood your reason for staying at the Survey Corps."

"What?"

"You have to serve the Survey Corps for you to be able to stay above ground but ... You really had no dreams, not motives," Erwin says. "You are humanity's strongest soldier but I never saw any ambition ... You strive for no glory, nor knowledge, no dream ... It's good to see you having something or someone to live for ... I am glad that you are starting to live for yourself."

"You can lose all of those things easily," Levi replies, it was a bit strange for him to open up about things like this but he found himself at ease with the two. "It's better not to get attached."

"Levi, humans are born to suffer ... There's no greater truth than that," Erwin says. "The only thing we can do to fight against this cruel world is to live moments of happiness even if they are short-lived."

"We are proud of you Levi, you been through a lot, haven't you?" Hange places an arm around Levi's shoulders, giving him some comfort. "And we are happy you found someone who is there for you in your good and bad moments."

"Do you think I'll treat her right?" Levi asks as he looks down, he felt the tiniest of embarrassment. "Even when I can't express how I feel?"

"I won't deny that words are powerful," Erwin looks over to the table where Maria was sitting but his eyes laid on Leah. "But if you can't express your feelings through words, let your actions speak for you."

Hange and Erwin looks at him as his eyes averted again towards the brunette. They watched as Levi's cold blue eyes slowly change and they softened. As if a wild animal was domesticated. As if for a moment, Levi's mind was free from all doubts and fears.

"I'll be a terrible boyfriend," Levi says almost in a whisper. "But I'll try my best ... For her."

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Although Nicholas already knew everything from the beginning, it still hurts him deeply to be reminded of that.

In such a great manner, nonetheless. He wanted to be happy for Maria and he would have been happy if it was someone else, anyone but Captain Levi. Nicholas just knew that he was no good for her and eventually he would end up hurting her. And that's not what he wanted, Nicholas wanted anything but that.

When would his punishment end? When will he stop feeling guilty? He still hasn't changed, hasn't he?

The reason why he wanted Maria to be happy was so he could be free from his guilt.

Not for her, but himself.

"I am disgusting," Nicholas says out loud at the thought that he was alone. He was sitting outside, at the dining hall's porch, a few candles next to him. "I do love her immensely ... But I have to admit that my guilt won't let me sleep ... If only ... If only I could kill that fucking bastard."

"I sincerely hope you aren't talking about Levi,"

Nicholas turns around and finds Elise walking towards him. He had no opinion of her whatsoever, but the time he talked to her, she introduced herself as Maria's friend.

"He is your Captain and planing against him would be considered treason," Elise says as she sits down next to him. He was thinking of saluting her but she didn't seem to care about status. "And I am sure you don't want to die, right?"

"I wasn't talking about Captain Levi," Nicholas says as he looks into the distance, the dark night that was in front of him and nature. "I was talking about another bastard."

"And because of this bastard, you feel guilty?" she asks.

"Yes."

"And I am guessing this bastard caused some type of pain to Maria?" she asks again as she was fast to make conclusions.

Nicholas turns to look at her, kinda impressed if he was completely honest.

"You are smart, I can see why you are the Commander's new advisor," Nicholas replies as a way to try and change the topic.

"Yeah, I am a woman of many qualities," Elise replied as she softly blinks at the handsome man.

"Young, beautiful and smart, I can perfectly see that," Nicholas replies back. "I can imagine you have a lot of men behind you."

"I won't deny that," Elise moves closer to Nicholas and she had to admit that Nicholas wasn't all that bad, he was a really good looking man. But of course, she only had one man in mind. If she was going to get involved with Nicholas it was only so she could use him. "But I am just waiting for the right one to come along."

There were a few seconds in which their eyes crossed paths, the wind slowly caressing their faces. It was becoming cold but at the moment they couldn't feel it.At that instant, Elise knew that she could have this man whenever she wanted. It would be nice to play with him but it was mostly to use him to her advantage.

If she could get to him, then she can find out the truth about Maria, her weak points, the things she is scared of. She could learn all that from him and use that to destroy her and make her stay away from Levi.

"Well, I hope he comes soon," Nicholas says with a smile as takes his eyes away from her.

Of course, this wasn't going to be as easy either. Nicholas was loyal to the brunette and breaking him down will be a challenge. Yes, a challenge but it won't be impossible. She just needed time to work on him.

"Did it hurt?" Elise suddenly asks. Since the day of the dance ball, when she saw Nicholas dance with Maria, she knew that something was going on between them. She didn't know the specifics, but that's why she was here. To figure that out. "Watching Captain Levi openly accepting he is fucking the girl you love?"

"You have no idea," Nicholas replies as they see people come out of the dining hall. "But I can't do anything about it but be supportive I guess ... Would that show her just how much I love her?"

The question was for himself but Elise heard it all. She couldn't help it but feel a certain jealousy rise within her. The house attendant had a man who completely loved her and she was throwing that away. Maria was throwing something away that Elise wanted very much.

To be loved purely by someone.

"Ah ... Who knows?" Elise says. "Sometimes you show a person how much you love them ... And they still won't fall for you."

"But we still gotta try, I guess," she says as she notices that the handsome man was still in thought.

If there was something Elise was sure of, is that if she doesn't try, she won't be able to win anything. She has to keep trying, even if she has to take extreme measures. Since the beginning, she has always had to fight to get what she wanted.

She looks down at her hands and the beautiful long nails she now possessed. Elise remembered a time in which a thing did not exist, a time in which her parents de-nail her, for speaking without permission. Now that she remembers, she had always fought for their love and affection. And now that she had gained a high status in the Survey Corps, she had that. Now she could use all the benefits that her family name had and of course she was going to use them to her advantage.

Call her crazy, a bitch even but there was no doubt she wouldn't do anything in the name of love. If she fights hard enough, would she be worth it? Would she be able to find the resolution she needed? Everyone could ask, why Levi ? If she could have any other man.

But she just couldn't let go of the man who taught her how to love. The man who taught her to embrace and accept herself. And she just knew that she was made for him because no one else would go as far as she could go for him. Elise was capable of anything. Anything for Levi.

Would her actions show him how much in love she is with him? She didn't have an answer, but there was only one truth for her.

Levi was worth fighting for.

"At the end of the day, it's either we fight or we don't," Elise says as she stands up and looks at the young man one last time before walking away.

"And I chose to fight."

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

A/N: We are getting into the final arc of One Last Time. This chapter was 15K thousand words! And I cut off Nicholas and Maria's date ... It's sad but I will include that in the next chapter hopefully. If I wrote the date, this chapter alone would have been 20k words lol.

Finally, I am happy that Levi has finally decided to be with Maria openly. He has also realized his mistakes and plans to work on them. 100K words later and Levi finally had character development, he still needs more but he will work on it.

It was hard to write the part in which Levi had a panic attack. Especially since mental heath its not a topic that has been talked about in AOT. Well, they have but its never specified, like you know the characters suffer from mental issues but they never go into detail. So, I wanted for Levi to have this moment to show his more humane side. Everyone considers him in such a high regard that we sometimes forget that he is human and that he also suffers from mental health issues. It was hard to explain because I am not sure if during this in Attack on Titan, people knew about depression, anxiety or panic attacks. So, I'll just be specific with the terminology when writing about it. The characters don't know it as such but they just know it has to deal with past trauma. It is also just easier for me to write about it using the proper words for the illness.

I am kinda getting used to the idea that there won't be a happy ending in AOT. That's why I am writing this, a small fantasy of mine just for me to bring me comfort that there was a period of time in which Levi lived a happy ending.

Like I said before, (Or like Erwin said) In this cruel world the only way to fight against it, is to live happy moments even if they are short-lived.

Well, I'm going to stop there because if I keep writing my thoughts here, I might spoil the ending of One Last Time.

I already have everything planned for the ending of this story as well as the last sentence has been written. There will be angst pretty soon but don't worry too much. I plan for this story to have a bittersweet ending, one that can fit into the Attack on Titan world.

I know these notes don't make sense at all but I guess what I am trying to say is that I hope that you all find comfort in this story.

Once again, thank you for reading One Last Time. I encourage all types of comments! It really helps me a lot to stay motivated.

Thank you again, and see you next week!