Keith's pov:

November was coming and with the days the temperature was getting colder. It had been two weeks since the rose and nobody claimed the action. I think I got over it, but not over Damon.

Yet it felt like with the temperature my heart went colder. I noticed I was starting to shut people out. I nearly talked to my mother or Damon and I avoided any other contact with people.

I knew my mom was worried about me, but I think she let me be because on Monday it would be the day my father passed. Every year around this time and his birthday, my depression almost consumed me.

I missed him, I missed him so much. He had been my example, my best friend and he had the best advice. My mom was the sweetest and she tried her best to keep our little family together.

But I missed him and thinking about him made me wanna crawl away in a hole and die. How would he have looked like nowadays? Would he have liked Damon the way mom did?

I wished I could ask his advice. I wish I could prank my mom with him again. I wished I could laugh with him, hear his voice again. I would sell my soul to the devil if I could look him in the eyes one last time, to hear him say that he was proud of me and that he loved me.

I laid in bed, it was Mondaymorning and I couldn't get out. In wanted to, but my legs, my whole body wouldn't listen to me. I held on tight to my blanket. I saw the stains appear, but I din't feel the tears. I felt nothing but this huge hole that sucked everything out of me and only sadness remained.

"Keith?" My mom knocked and came in. As soon as she saw me her face dropped and she walked towards me. "I'll call school." She said sitting on my bedside. I nodded and she pulled me in her arms.

We sat in silence, just holding each other, knowing how the other one felt. After a while my mom planted a kiss on my forehead and left me alone to tell school I wouldn't be coming.

Would Damon mind me not coming to school? Would he think about me? I sobbed and covered my face in my hands. I was a mess.

I didn't eat and I didn't drink for the rest of the day. I just hid myself for the world, wishing to see my father. I didn't talk to my mom and I didn't text Damon. I wanted to be alone, I wanted to rot away in my room so the world wouldn't have to deal with such a worthless piece of shit.

I drew myself, locked in a cage, falling from a cliff, surrounded by darkness and many other drawings. Everything was black and, just like my world, covered in darkness.

On Tuesday my mom forced me to eat something and drink a glass of water. To be honest I was hungry nor thirsty, they were feelings and I felt nothing. Everything was numb.

I was hidden in a corner of the room when she walked in. "Damon is here for you." My heart beated a bit faster, but along with that I felt a pain in my chest. "Send him away." I whispered. Her face was drawn with sadness as she turned around and when the door closed I cried silent tears.

At night everything was ten times worse. I dreamt about my dad, which wasn't unusual, but in my current state I would scream for him and beg him to take me with him. It caused my mom to hurry over to me and hold me tight until I woke up.

At Wednesday my troath felt sore from screaming and rage settled in. It was what I'd like to call the Second Phase. I had sudden urges to scream and beated up pillows, trying not to break things. I threw with random stuff and slammed my head against my desk, bed or wall, causing me to have several humps and a killing headache. My mother was at work, but I could not keep it a secret.

When she got home I was sitting on the couch watching tv with an icepack and without a word she sat next to me and held my hand. The worst was over but I knew I wouldn't be able to go to school the next couple of days.

On Friday I had the courage to text Damon. He acted as if last week never happened, as if I didn't sent him away. I'm sorry was all he said and that made me smile. Of course my mom had given him some kind of explenation. And I was thankful, for both of them.

Damon's pov

When Keith didn't come to school on Monday and Tuesday I decided to stop by. I as worried something bad had happened to him. Or maybe he was avoiding me!

"Where are you going?" My mom asksd when I rushed for the door. "Im going to check on Keith." "But you just got home!" I sighed and slowed down. "I'm sorry mom, but he hasn't been at school the past two days and he isn't responding my texts."

I bet shs saw the worry in my eyes because she nodded. "Thanks mom!" I yelled before closing the door behind me. The way over to Keith was nerve wrecking. I didn't know what to expect when I knocked.

Is mom opened the door and I was shocked. She looked horrible. "Hello mrs Rich, I wondered if I could see Keith?" She smiled tired at me. "I'll ask him, please come in." She invited and I walked in.

I took a seat on the couch and lokked around. The atmosphere was sad and a knor formed in my stomach. What was going on? Mrs Rich looked so sad and exhausted.

Her footsteps on the stairs made me look up and I saw her wipe a tear before she walksd towards me. "I'm sorry Damon, Keith wishes to be left alone." It truely broke my heart when I heard her say that.

"Why?" I asked and I was suprised how sad and disapointed I sounded. "It has nothing to do with you. Keith suffers from depression since his father passed. Yesterday two years ago he passed and it still hits him very hard." She explained softly.

I was in shock. I felt so sorry and stupid and selfish that thought, even just for a second, this had something to do with me. "Oh." I said. What aas there to say? But I guess my facial expression told mrs Rich enough.

"Is there anything I can do?" She shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Damon. He has to get trough this by himself. He'll text you when he's ready for it. And when the time comes I think the best thing to do is act normal. When he wants to talk he'll come to you." I nodded.

We sat in silence for a moment. "You know, I am so glad he met you, Damon. He never really had frieds before and I can see you make him happy." I smiled and felt my cheeks flush. If only she knew how happy he made me.

"I'm happy to, mrs Rich. I had no-one when we moved here." I confessed to her. She smiled at me. "How many times do I have to tell you that you can call me Carol?" I shrugged and smiled.

"I think I'll leave then. Good luck mrs... eh Carol." I said and stood up, she smiled again at me and walked me out.

Back at home my mom looked confused. "You're back already?" I nodded. She could tel something was wrong and made me sit in the kitchen with her.

I told her what happened at Keith's and she was very understanding. But I didn't tell her everything. And there was a silence when I finished my story.

"Damon? What more is bothering you?" She asked with a frown. Her look made tears jump in my eyes. I didn't want to tell, she would hate me like I hated myself.

When the first tear rolled down my cheek she pulled me in an embrace and I cried on her shoulder. "I like him." I whisperd and she just embraced me tighter. "It's okay honey, let it all out." And I did.

When I calmed down for a bit I also told her about my feelings and about the rose. About my fear and my selfhate and in the end I was crying again and so was she.

"Mom, please don't cry. I'll change! I can make it stop, it will fade away and..." She interruptes me bt shaking her head. "God, Damon, no. I will never hate you for who you are or what you feel. Of course I understand your fear, but you do ot need to worry about us. You are allowed to be happy, Damon, you don't havebto hide your feelings in fearnof what others would do!"

Her words moved meand I hugged her. "Thank you." I held her in my arms and sighed. I may never be accepted ornloved by a boy, but I knew my family would always accept and love me for who I am.

"What should I do, mom?" I asked finally. She carefully chose her
words. "Maybe younshould tell him how you feel." I became pale in an instant. "Mom, have you forgotten what happened last time I did that?!" That's it she had become insane.

"Of course I haven't! But Keith is nothing like Matthew! Keith has no-one besides you and he would never throw you before a bus to become more popular himself."

I thought about her words. She had a point, Keith was nothing like Matthew, but on the other hand, if people like Matthew knew about it, both Keith and I would be in trouble. I couldn't let him suffer because of me.

I shrugged. "Maybe." "Why don't you send him another rose?" Yeah why didn't I? I mean, maybe it would cheer him up? Or would it do more bad than good? I had to think this through.

The rest of the week my mind was occupied with questions. One, would I send him another rose? Two, would I confess my feelings for him?

A/n: please let me know what you guys think!