A/N: heeeey hehe he he... *Guilty face* Oh gosh my lovely readers I am so sorry for the false hope I gave you... I TRIED and failed... *Linkin park with in the end on the background* okay anyways I am really sorry that you all have been waiting so long for this chapter. Just please believe me when I say I have been really busy lately... But things are calmer now and since we have only a few chapters to go, I'll try to finish it soon for you. Pls dont hate me XXX BlackRoses
Keith's pov

I watched him, just laying there with his eyes closed and listened to his steady breathing.

We loved each other, but would we always have to hide behind the four walls of a house, in fear that people would pick on us?

The Knives should be arrested anyways for several crimes. If they tried something again we would tell the police. Other people, I had seen a gay couple and a lesbian couple before and nobody assaulted them, so we should be fine as well.

I knew I had to tell them I wanted to open up about our relationship. I couldn't do this for much longer.

I startled out of my thoughts when Damon moaned slightly and his eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning." I whispered with a smile and he smiled back at me before planting a kiss on my lips. "Good morning." He said with a husky voice.

"What are you thinking about?" Damon asked while pulling me a little closer. I almost forgot what I wanted to tell him, and afterwards I wish I actually had forgotten.

But I hadn't so I put on a serious expression and looked hin in the eye.

"What is it?" Damon asked with a tad nervousness in his voice. I took a deep breath before I opened my mouth.

"I think we should come out of the closet together."

As I hsd stung him eith something he shot up in bed. Eyes wide and filled with panic.

"What? Why would you say that? Are you insane?!" He almost screamed. The tone of his voice startled me and I crawled back against my headboard.

"Have you forgotten what they did tho you?" He hissed looking at me with a deep frown. As he came a little closer.

"Of course not." I said taking his hand in mine. "But I don't want to be afraid all my life. I don't want to hide my love for you when we're in public." I said calm.

But instead of calming him down he got even more fired up. "No! You don't understand! They will go so far. They will ruin everything! I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you!"

I shook my head in disbelief. "Why are you still letting your fear in the way? Let them come to us, let them try and we will tell the police..." I trailed off when he shook his head.

"You're so naive, Keith. The police is corrupt. They won't help us miserable gay people. They will do nothing with our charge." He said.

Tears blurred my vision as I stared at him in shock. "Why would you say something like that?" I whispered.

He had no compassion in hid eyed, only pain when he met my stare. "Because that's what happened before."

I said nothing and kept staring at him, wondering who this stranger was in front of me. This bitter side of him that was full of pain.

He sighed and stared out of the window.

"In my old town I fell in love with my best friend. It was scary, like I imagine it always is for someone when they realize they are gay. When I accepted the fact I liked boys and told my parents I found the courage to tell Matthew. But Matt was not taking it well." He sighed and shifted his gaze to the floor.

"He got mad and told me he disgusted me. That he would kill me if I ever so much as looked in his direction. I got the message and left his house, but it seemed that my existence was too much already for him to handle. He set up a lot of hid friends and my former friends against me. It started small, some name calling, ignoring me or intimidating me. But soon it got worse, they molested my car, locker pranks that got worse every time, straight out beating me, hunting me down, taking pictures..."

I felt bad for him and wanted to comfort him, but he wasn't done yet.

"At some point I was anxious to go to school, hell even to go outside. My parents kept me home, but that wasn't to stop them, when they started assault my family and even tried to break in, we told the police. Unfortunately a father of one of my bullies worked by police and they didnt do anything about it. So we decided to move." He finished.

We said nothing for a while, until he started to put on his clothes.

"Are you leaving?" I asked with a tiny voice. He just nodded.

"I understand why you are so afraid," I started carfully. "But shouldn't we work on it? Matthew isn't here and I'm sure we'll survive the Knives."

But instead of considering it, something snapped in him. "Have you even listened to anything I just told you?!" He yelled at me.

"It happened once and it will happen again! It will never end! Don't you understand? Do you want beaten up? Do you want to feel like the only time you would feel safe is when you're dead?!"

My eyes filled ith tears, not because he yelled or because he was right. I started to cry because it hurt to see him so damaged.

As soon as his clothes were on he stormed towards the door, where he stopped.

"If you want us to work, we will not come out." He said and left.

He just left me. How would I get him to understand he was blinded by fear. That it destroyed him and would destroy everyone around him.

I cried my eyes out and when my mom came to my room, worried about what happened, I told her everything.

We did what we were good at, cry together while holding on to each other, until our tears were gone.

~^~^~^~^~^~^~

Damon's pov

I was enraged and terrified to the bone. I ran home, constantly looking over my shoulder to see if someone followed me.

When I was home I locked the door and went straight to my room, not planning to come down anytime soon.

I sank down in my familiar damned corner, held on to my knees and hid my face behind my knees.

I tried taking deep breaths, but nothing would help. I fucked up I was fucked up. Why, why did I end up screaming? I knew the fear had a deadly grip on my.

I felt like choking, but I couldn't care less. I promised not to let my fear console me, and I really thought I had been doing a good job. But Keith, oh Keith, why would he want to come out? Wasn't he scared at all?

Of course he was, but he wasn't a coward like me. He dared to stand up for himself, how he had grown since the first time I met that sweet and shy boy.

He was still him, but now with much more courage. I wished I could be like him. I wished I had met him before Matt destroyed my life. My mind had been intoxicated with fear and only now I saw the consequences, which go far deeper than I expected.

Keith, I needed him to feel alive, didn't I? Yes I did, last night... It had been so magical. I never could've imagined to feel so happy, to feel so many things and so intense. I truly loved him, but didn't that mean I had to make some sacrifices myself?

He had been stood by my, he had been waiting for me whenever I took a step back in fear. He had always reassured me, held me, talked to me and now I was doing this to him, again.

My hands grabbed my hair and pulled hard and I let out a scream, before erupting into sobs.

I heard the quick footsteps on the stairs, bur I didn't pay much intention. Only thinking about Keith and the pain I caused him.

The door flew open, followed by a small gasp and within seconds I felt the loving arms from my mother around me.

She held me while I cried like I was some scared little boy. And maybe I was a scared little boy from 17 who fucked up his relationship with the most amazing boy in the world.

It took me a while to calm down enough to be able to talk to my mom.

"What happened, dear?" She whispered.

"Oh mom, Keith... He-he wants us to come out, but I'm so scared an I started screaming and told him about Matt, but he wouldn't understand and I stormed off. Mom I hurt him so badly, I'm always hurting him." I sobbed.

My mother hushed me and stroked my head. And planted kisses on my head. I knew she was crying as well and it hurt me even more. All I did was hurting people. I was so done with it. I couldn't do this anymore.

"Mom, what if we came out. Do you think it would help me? Would the fear fade?" I askd her softly.

"I don't know, honey. It would help Keith and maybe it would help you too. It's a chance you can take, but if you don't want to..."

"I should let Keith go." I finished for her. There only were two options. I would go along with Keith or let him go. Both sounded frightening, but what was best for him?

"Obviously I dont want to lose him, mom, but if I don't, if I fail in conquering my fears, I will only drag him down with me."

"I know sweetheart. It hurts me to see you this conflicted and I wish I could help, but it's your choice. Follow your heart and do what you think is best. I will support you either way, okay?"

I nodded against her shoulder. I knew it was selfish, I knew it was for my own good, but I had to give us one more chance. One more slip back into fear and I would let him go. But I had to ask him for one more chance.

I probably shattered his heart today, I didn't know if he could forgive me. But I was going to take the chance and ask him, no beg him for forgiveness.

"I need one more chance, mom." I said in a soft whisper. She nodded, gave me a final kiss and left me alone.

I grabbed the broken pieces of myself and put myself back together before running to the same flower shop as I went to many times times before and bought a rose again, not caring about the question in the woman's eyes when I came in with a red face and puffy eyes.

At home I grabbed pen and paper and started writing, I saw the words from my heart appear on paper, a poem true to what I felt and inviting him to talk with me the next day in our cafe.

It was already dark when I was done writing the letter and I missed dinner. But I didn't care and nobody stopped me when I put on my coat and walked out the door, into the snow.

When I was at his house I put the rose and letter down, but suddenly the door openend. It was Claire, wearing a coat and a pair of gloves.

"Damon?" She asked suprised. I felt my cheeks redden and a sharp pain in my chest as I saw her red eyes, an obvious sign dhe had been crying. And I was the cause.

"I-I'm so sorry." I stuttered but she shook her head and gave me a hug. "Don't be. I assume these are for Keith?" She says pointing to my gifts. I nod and she takes them over.

"I'll give it to him. Everything will be fine between the two of you. I'm sure." she says.

"I'm going to the neighbors now, but I'll see you later." She says and I say goodnight before turning around and walking back home.