Music: Sound Of Silence - Disturbed
Damon's pov

It has been a few days since our date at the cafe after school, but the seed of fear that had been planted in my stomach had only grown. 

Everytime I went from home I looked over my shoulder, fearing someone would follow me. I took different ways in a random order to walk home. But I told nobody. I wouldn't spread fear where it wasn't, not when it wasn't needed yet. 

I wanted to be sure, I waited for a sign, something that gave away that people were chasing us down, planning on hurting us. 

With the fear consuming my whole life, I knew I put Keith on the side. I told myself it was for the best, that it would be okay. He wouldn't get hurt, I wouldn't let him experience the same shit I had. I couldn't. 

Fear mixed with guilt. Keith had no idea why I didn't pay attention, and I was only thinking about myself, my own fears, confusions, guilt, pain, memories...

It was in the middle of the night and I looked through my window. The sky was clear and the stars graced the dark night. I bathed in the moonlight and it brought back memories of me and Keith, standing for this window a little more than two weeks ago. 

I missed him, a lot. You shouldn't be missing your boyfriend when you saw him everyday at school. But I felt distanced from him and that was my own fault. It was wrong, but I didn't know how to stop myself. I didn't know how. 

My nights were short with maybe a few hours sleep. Drake's injuries were mostly healed, with just a few ugly bruises left. The little bit of furniture, clothes and other stuff were already in his new apartment, in the morning he would eat breakfast with us, say goodbye and take his leave. 

I yawned and felt how my eyelids became heavier, it was time to lay down and get some more sleep. 

"Damon, Damon, Damon, wake up, wake up, wake up!" I opened my eyes in annoyance and groaned when Sam and Lucy started jumping up and down on my bed, bouncing on my legs as well. 

"Get off me guys." "You gotta get up, Damon, Drake is leaving today and breakfast is ready." Lucy chattered cheerful in my ear. I let out a moan and rolled out of bed. 

"Go downstairs, I'll be there in a minute." The two devils ran downstairs and left me to get dressed. I changed my underwear and put on jeans, a sweater and socks before I followed them down. 

When I entered the room, Drake grabbed my shoulders from behind and shook them hard. "Are you finally awake, sleeping beauty?" He yelled and I yanked his hands off me. "Yes prince charming." I said sarcastic and sat down. 

"Haven't slept well, Damon?" My mother asked, I just shook my head and filled my plate with things I barely noticed. While everyone else was having the usual conversation, I ate my breakfast without talking or even tasting what I was eating. 

I was more than happy that breakfast was over before anyone thought about asking me what was going on. My parents cleaned everything and soon it was time for Drake to say goodbye.

I was last in line and he took me in his arms with a smile. "Don't worry little brother, it had nothing to do with that, I swear. Don't lose yourself in fear all over again okay? Just enjoy being with Keith." He whispered in my ear. His words took me by suprise. 

He patted my back and let go. "I'll be back in a few weeks for the Holidays." He said and went outside, to his car. We followed him and waved him goodbye until he was out of sight. 

Somehow the tension had left my body. Drake's beating had not been a warning for me. I trusted him fully now. I was being foolish. That guy I had seen outside the cafe, was not following us, he hadn't seen our hands, he just smiled that way because he recognized me as the guy that helped Keith the day we met. 

Back in my room I sat on my bed and closed my eyes. Even if all that was true, there would always be danger and I would always be scared to be with Keith. Not just for myself, but for Keith and both our families. 

What if Matthew would go the extra mile to torture me, even here? What if Keith's bullies were as sick as mine? What if I would never be able to conquer my fear? What if...

I put my head in my hands, I was dispirited and tired of everything. Could this just stop? Would I be able to enjoy my thime with Keith? Would he still want me, after distancing myself from him?

I don't know how long I've been sitting there, alone and in silence, but I finally made a decision, though it wasn't an easy one. 

Keith's pov 

I held my phone in my hand, opening and closing the chat with Damon. We hadn't been texting for two days now and it made me feel really nervous. He never responded on my latest text and I was unsure if I should send another text. 

With a long sigh I put my phone away and sat down at my desk. I let my head rest on my arms and imagined them being the iron bars of a cage. I felt like being trapped inside my own head. 

I've always been insecure about how to act in front of Damon, especially when we started liking each other, but lately the insecurities I already had increased in size. They would not be suppressed and were permanently terrorizing my brain together with his best friends fear and pain. When they would not create chaos in my brain, the numbness took over and made me feel even worse. 

In the past week Damon had been creating distance. I knew he had stuff to deal with, although I didn't know what kind of stuff and if that involved me. I could only watch from the sideline, in silence, too insecure to text him. He would always make me feel better when my usual numbness took over, but now I was alone and it felt ten times worse. 

I couldn't talk about it with my mother, because she was really busy with work, and Damon was all I had, but I didn't have him, he was gone. I feared that soon he would be gone for good and that he would leave me with no other person than myself. 

I was used to being by myself until Damon invaded my life, took my heart and ran away with it. If he would leave me now, I wouldn't know what to do. He became so important for me in such a short span of time. 

Before I knew it, I found myself crying again. I cried a lot lately, not knowing how to handle the situation or even myself. I was trapped because I couldn't find a way to let out the things I felt. There was no distractions that didn't remind me of Damon. 

I was lost, lonely and scared. I had no selfpity though, I blamed it on myself. I must've done something that made him realise I'm hopeless and damaged. I would never have made him happy, I never would be able to. Because how would I bring him happiness when I couldn't be happy on my own. 

I'm sure I've been too clingy, too needy, too me. Boring Keith who doesn't want to kiss or touch, stupid Keith who is depressed all the time, dumb Keith who thought he could have an angel instead of the demons he deserves. 

I made fists of my hands and starting stomping them against my head. "stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!" I screamed and screamed beating myself, I wish it would stop, why wouldn't it stop. These voices that haunted my head, poisoned my thoughts, my life, my everything. I destoryed the best thing I ever had. 

It needed to stop, I needed to stop. Why did I even exist if all I could was fail in everything? If it all would end, I would have rest, be in piece and see my dad.

The thought almost choked me, did I really just think about how good it would be if I was dead? What was happening with me? I sank down on my bed and hid my face in my hands. 

I was shaking over my whole body and took short breaths, not able to think straight. Did I want to die? Could I trust that bad part of myself? There were so many questions and no answers, only silence. 

Silence, until I heared the ringtone of my phone. Expecting it to be my mom I grabbed it from my nightstand and saw the ID of the caller, Damon. With shaky hands I answered. 

"Keith?" I heard his soft voice on the other side of the line. I swallowed the lump in my troath, hoping my voice wouldn't betray me. 

"Yes?" I asked hoars. Damnit voice. "A-Are you alright?" He asked worried, but I remained silent. I couldn't lie and there were no words to tell him how I felt. 

"Oh Keith." He sighed and I heared something that sounded very much like a sob. "Can we talk?" His voice trembled and the desperation was unmistakable. I feared the things he would say, but I mumbled a soft answer telling him he could come over. 

He hung up after promising me he would be with me soon. With me, but with me? Would he leave here still being with me? I decided to pay a visit to the bathroom before he would arrive here. 

When I saw my face in the mirror the hope that Damon wouldn't see my breakdown faded immediately. My eyes were red and puffy, my hair was a mess and just below my hairline bruises were forming from where I hit myself.

I splashed water in my face to reduce the puffyiness and tried to fix my hair and covering my bruises with it at the same time. My lips were chapped and bleeding a bit, but there was nothing I could do about that. I went downstairs where I noticed that the sun was already setting. 

It was early in November and getting pretty cold. I turned on the radiator and put on some water for when Damon arrived. When the doorbell rang my heart sunk to my feet and I had to drag myself to the door. 

With trembling hands I opened it and in the golden sunlight was Damon. The light gave him a devine look, but I immediately saw the huge shadows under his eyes which were puffy as well and the sharp lines in his face. He looked horrible and the smile that played on his lips didn't reach his eyes. They were filled with pain, guilt and tears. In his hand he was holding a snapped rose. 

Without saying a word I let him in and closed the door. A moment later we sat on my bed, facing each other. The space inbetween us was filled with unspoken words we wanted to say, but neither didn't know how to start. 

Suddenly he stretched his arm to give me the broken rose, perfect for the occasion. I took it from him and played with the petals so I didn't have to look at him. The lump in my troath was growing bigger and bigger and it wouldn't take long for my tears to form rivers on my cheeks again. 

"Keith." The word was nothing but a whisper. But his voice was desperate and pained, as a chained being reaching for his last hope. I looked up while at the same time the first tear slipped. My eyes met his and the next moment we were both crying. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He repeated while he came a bit closer. "I'm so sorry for being selfish and blind and stupid and...I'm sorry." He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me in his arms. He pressed me tight against his body and I clamped myself on his hirt like it was the last thing that kept me alive. 

"Why." I sobbed. With the relieve and sadness came the burning question that had just left my lips. It was quiet for a while and we both calmed down a bit.

"I was scared. I saw ghosts and searched for things that weren't there." "Does it have to do with Drake?" He nodded and I felt how he tensed up a bit before relaxing again. He rubbed my back and arms, comforted me with his touch and making me forgive him.

"I forgot that I had you and that I couldn't lose you. BUt I would if I kept going on like I did. I put you through a hell without even thinking about it properly. I am so sorry that I did this to you and I... Can you forgive me?" 

"I already did." I said against his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling myself even closer. I burried my head in his neck and he put his head on top of mine. 

There were no more words needed as an explenation, no more words to forgive him, no more words to express how we both felt. 

We heard each other without speaking. Just holding each other as a promise of not letting go was enough. Again I was in silence, but I wasn't alone.