Shelly

I thought breakups were supposed to be the worst breakup someone could go through. It takes all insecurities and throws them back in your face. It shows you that what you thought was forever was just a lie.

But I had two breakups that hurt just as bad.

First was Tanner. And I knew why he pulled back. For how long we talked and then I got a sneak peek into his past life, he got scared. And then left me behind.

Worrying had been easy to forget the first two weeks. Summer had started and everything was going crazy. He finished his senior year and he probably got a job to cover him for books or something.

But then he never replied to any of my texts. I tried so hard to keep him but I couldn't grab his attention anymore.

Right after him, my dad left. God knows how painful it was when he kissed my forehead and walked out. Into a car that I didn't know and drove off.

I had never known what it was like to have my heart rip from my chest. To feel the pain so many have talked about, which I had tried to somehow relate to my grandfather's death, but never could. I felt it all now and it was worse than they explained.

Broken was the only word I could think of. Something was wrong with me because everyone I knew left me. I was dysfunctional. Something wrong with my program as everyone avoided me like a virus.

More like if I had the virus.

"You want to go with me?"

I opened my eyes to see my mom standing against the door frame. My body was laid out on my bed, my feet dangling over, with a pool of drool at my mouth. I had momentarily fallen asleep while my thoughts spiraled.

"Go where?" I groaned.

"To the corner store. I have to buy some cheese. You can stay in the car."

"Yeah. Let's go."

I got my shoes on and then we left the house. Once inside the car, I turned the vents to face me and felt a rush of cold. The car was burning hot and I was wearing jeans and a black long sleeve. I still hadn't managed to do my laundry this week.

"When we get back, I have to start my laundry, " I sighed as she started to drive.

"Okay, " she replied as I buckled.

Sitting in the parking lot, I watched as she hurried into the store. I looked around the lot and found myself missing it already. We were moving soon, although I don't know when, but she was already planning on it.

I wouldn't even tell Tanner. He probably wouldn't care anyway. He was distant and if he didn't care now, he wouldn't care later. It wasn't like he needed to know either, he didn't get a say in my life.

Turning the radio on, I flicked through the stations. Half were just them on commercial and the other half were songs I didn't know. I flicked repeatedly and then I settled on one.

Here Comes The Sun.

Ironic. Like I hadn't been thinking of him. I quickly turned the radio completely off. It deflated my already sour mood.

"Okay ready?"

"I love you," I responded.

"And I love you."

Maybe my grandfather's love wasn't the only one I needed. My mother had always been there for me and my mother would stay. If I knew she loved me, that someone did and would stay with me, then nothing else mattered.

Not my father who showered me with love and affection before leaving when things got tough.

Not all of my fake friends who didn't care about me but rather what I could do for them.

And definitely not Tanner, who was there until he wasn't.

******

A/N:

Shelly is really going through it. I can feel myself through her and I really do believe now that Covid was a bad time for everyone. Even fictional characters.