Tanner

"Mom, Dad, I have a question and request."

"Can you help with the groceries first?"

"Oh, sure."

The next few minutes were a blur of groceries. I didn't know we had gotten low on food but then again, I rarely ever looked for actual food. Or ate, I didn't feel hungry until my stomach was being eaten from the inside by the natural acids.

I should eat more often from now on.

"Okay, what was it you wanted?"

My heart lurched. What if they said no? That would be the end of me and Shelly. But it wouldn't because I had faith that we would be fine with or without touch. I believed in us.

"I want to take a shot."

I winced at my straightforwardness. Susie was trying not to laugh. My father paused and looked at me like I was crazy.

I know Dad, me too.

"Uh, honey, I'm sure you've already had one," my mom said with an arch in her left brow.

"Not that kind of shot. A shot to protect me." I drifted my voice into nothing.

"For what? Rabies? You barely go anywhere," my father chimed in.

"No. Well, if I needed to, yeah, but not, it's for..." I trailed off, not knowing how to say it.

"For what?"

I looked at Susie for support. She motioned her hands into a wave for me to continue my reasoning. I looked at my parents and they looked frightened. That wasn't what I wanted either. But fear was going to be instilled into us the moment we leave the hospital tents from the testing areas.

"It's so that I can be with Shelly. We want to be able to touch, like hugging and I clarified because I know your minds and in able for that, we have to be sure we are both going about it safely. That would also mean that you guys have to take the shot and her mom too. I'm pretty sure she's talking to her mom right now as we speak.

We agreed that it was the only way and I want to know if you guys will do it. Please, for me? I won't ask you for anything else, that's probably a lie, but still. I want to be able to hold her and bring her over, so can we?"

It was silent after my begging. I looked at the two of them before they shared a look of their own. And then they ignored me as they started putting groceries away. My heart plummeted. Neither had given me the answer I wanted but what I expected.

It was too scary for them. I knew my father had to take tests for work but that was as far as he was willing to go. My mother didn't want to do anything, she's rather live in obliviousness than know something was wrong with the world. I sighed as I felt tears sting my eyes and roughly helped them put the food away in silence.

I was an adult now. I would do whatever so that I could be with her. Even risking my life. I would take the shot myself and that was final. They were just a precaution. My family didn't need to do what I wanted, only what they saw fit.

"Tan-"

I shrugged off Susie as I stomped to my room. I hadn't let the tears escape but I did now. I don't know why I was crying. All I knew was that I was angry at them for not doing something for me. I hadn't asked for anything this big, never give them that much trouble, so why couldn't they do something for me?

Since my door was locked, I let myself indulge in a pity feat. I threw only the things I knew I wouldn't need. I needed to feel something break, hear the rupture of it, to mimic my raging emotions. No one tried to stop me either, no knock at the door or Susie unlocking my door to stop me, and so I continued.

By the end of it, my eyes were pounding, and my chest was heaving. My room was a mess from thrown clothes and broken objects. I would clean it later. I would close my eyes on my floor and drown out everything for now.

Even my phone signaling for me to go out for Shelly.