"Another round?" The barman asks.

"Sure," I reply, my answer unconvinced.

I sit slumped at the bar, unmotivated to do anything really. All I could do at the casino when I saw Amber was wave at her. Wave with an unconvincing smile. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do really. I don't hate her, but... She doesn't need me. Nobody needs me and it's embarrassing. When did I fall so low? I went from one of the most feared upper gang leaders of my country to... To whatever the hell I am now.

I wonder if Owen feels the same.

"Good grief, this is as pitiful as pity parties go," Myra says, taking a seat next to me at the bar. The barman hands me my fourth drink while Myra decides to order orange juice.

She isn't wrong. The bar is all but empty this time of day with only a hand full of people spread around, no doubt watchdogs from all kinds of families instead of actual customers. There are no windows so the place looks gloomy with its black and neon blue theme.

"What do you want?" I ask, twirling the ice in my glass of brandy. I don't quite trust her yet, but I've thought things over and there wouldn't be a reason for her not to be honest.

"Have you told Amber yet?"

"About this mysterious password, she's supposed to forget?" I ask, "No. Of course not. I can't even manage a 'hello'."

Myra doesn't respond and when I look up she has that expression I hate so much. Pity. 

"Blake," she starts, "Why are you still here?"

"What?"

Myra takes a sip of her juice, playing with a lock of purple hair as she looks out in front of her. She looks a lot different than when I first met her. Her face is the exact same, her wig still the usual, but... It's like the life is slowly getting sucked out of her.

"You weren't meant for this life, right?" she says, "Kyle was the one that was meant to be a leader. You were just a boy that loved the piano. So, since you have no more purpose in this life, why are you still here? Why haven't you left all of us fools behind and go start a new life? Somewhere peaceful with nice neighbors and a piano to fill the quiet. You could do it, you know. Nobody would-"

"Miss me?" I ask with a laugh.

Myra doesn't answer, but it's true. Nobody would miss me if I decided to leave. So... why don't I just go? I tell myself I have nowhere to go, but it's just an excuse because I have nowhere to belong either.

There's this selfish part of me that doesn't want to leave, because of the fact that I won't be missed. It feels like a big loss if I give everyone what they want.

No, I'd like to think there's one person that would miss me at the very least.

"I should take Owen with me. After he rescues his sister, the three of us could leave this rotten life and go somewhere better," I say. Now that, sounds like a life I could live. It would feel less like running away and more like saying fuck you to fate for shoving me in this situation before I could even grow up.

"That sounds perfect," Myra says, the pity from her eyes gone as she watches me. Instead, she shows... envy? Envy in those eyes I can never tell which color they are.

"Why don't you come with?"

Why did I ask that?

Myra chuckles, the smile not reaching her eyes as she finishes her drink.

"You know I can't leave Kyle," she says.

I roll my eyes. "Why's everyone so obsessed with him? He's like a cult leader, the way all of you are going on."

"No," Myra says, "The others, sure. They believe in him and what he does. They believe he will be good for this world. Me? I'm just a fool with a debt I'll never be able to pay."

"You owe him money?" he asks.

"I owe him my life."

I look at Myra for a long while, and there's no doubt in my conclusion. She knows Kyle is bad. Bad for her, bad for this world. She knows it, and yet, she's still in love with the guy.

Who am I to judge though?

"We're the same," I tell her, downing my drink.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"Like you, I also owe my life to someone I'm in love with," I sigh, "But, we both owe our ruin to them as well. Don't we?"

Maybe we're even more alike than that. Maybe, like Kyle, Amber is also bad for this world. Maybe if I was from the other side of the story, I'd be the boy who was in love with a girl he knew was bad. Bad for him, and bad for this world.

With nothing much to say, the two of us sit there in silence, ordering and finishing another drink before we get up. Myra insists that I try to find and talk to Amber, but all I really want to do is take a nap.

We walk back to our quarters, Myra still nagging me, when suddenly I stop.

"What-"

"Shh," I tell Myra, holding her back and slowly taking a step closer to the door to our room. "There are two voices," I tell her. We listen closely and it's Myra who first points out Amber is in there with Kyle.

Amber? What's she doing with Kyle? I wonder. And alone with him in his room? Does Xavier know? 

"That sounds like it'll end badly for me," comes Amber's voice, muted by the wall between us.

"Or, it could end badly for me, Amber," Kyle replies, "I don't want to make you look too good and accidentally fall in love."

"Like you'd fall that easily."

"We really are the same."

I turn to Myra, about to ask if she knows what's going on between them, but her expression makes me pause. The girl isn't looking at me, rather she's looking at the wall as though she can see right through it. Her brows are drawn together, her lips tightened and her eyes... her eyes are glossy.

"Myra?" I ask, but the look doesn't last long.

She wipes at her eyes, neutralizing her expression, and steps past me to open the door, pulling me along. Before I could protest, we walk inside. 

Amber and Kyle are in the living room across from us, their gazes turning to us immediately as we enter. They look the same as this morning. Kyle still in all-black casual wear and Amber in a floral dress with a high slit.

Embarrassed, I rub the back of my neck, reluctantly meeting her gaze.

"Hey, Amber," I great like some loser.

"Blake," is all she says, her expression completely unreadable as she stares at me with so much in her eyes. What is it? I want to ask her. Do you feel sorry for me? Do you miss me? Do you hate me? 

Feeling, Myra tug at my shirt, I know I have more important things to talk to Amber about.

"Uhm, I'd actually like to catch up with you sometime," I manage to say.

Kyle's watchful expression catches my attention however and I realize it might not be so easy to get an alone moment with the co-leader of the North.

"I'd love to-" 

"Myra, could you please take Blake to meet with my grandmother. She'll know what it's about," Kyle speaks up before Amber could even finish her sentence. 

Of course, as I suspected. He must know I'm up to something. And having Myra tag along can't be a good look either. If he suspects she betrayed him, it might not end well for her. I'd have to be careful.

"Yes," Myra says. Her gaze fixed to the floor as she tugs me further, urging me to follow her. I don't question it and follow the girl as she leads me out of the door and closes it.

"So, I see you tonight?" Kyle asks Amber once we're outside.

We don't hover much before Myra extends her grip to my arm, pulling me with her as we walk down the hallway at a brisk pace.

"What's that about?" I ask her, "Since when are the two of them so close?"

"It's a game," Myra says, "A game that Amber will definitely lose."

"A game?'

I watch Myra's expression change back to the one she had before we entered the room. 

"I told you Kyle wants a password from Amber. No doubt, he's trying to make her fall in love with him to get it. But Amber is smarter than that. It's easy to conclude that both of them know what the other is planning and they're playing the game regardless. See who falls first to get what the other has," Myra explains.

"That's crazy," is all I can say. There's no way this game could end well for anyone.

"And yet, it's the logical approach," Myra says.

The two of us get to the restaurant Kyle mentioned. It's a simple, modern design with plenty of greenery to decorate the area. About a dozen guards surround the restaurant and at the center, doña La Maria sits, sipping her tea.

"Grandmother," I greet once I arrive and take a seat. Myra stays standing behind me.

"Cachorro," she greets back, "Not dead yet."

"Unfortunately no," I sigh, "You asked me the same thing four years ago at the international gathering in Russia. Do you want me dead, Grandmother?"

"After throwing away the West that I worked so hard to build up? Perhaps," she says, unfazed. She has my mother's face, with sharp features and condescending eyes, all she's lacking is that silver.

"The West owes a great deal to the cartels, sure, but I think father did a great job in expanding," I say.

"Yes, because he married my daughter. I care little for your father. It's Kyle, who's the real prize," La Maria says and I feel a stab at my heart. Of course, Kyle's the trophy child. "If not for your brother, you'd probably have been dead by now," she continues.

Not in the mood to argue with the woman, I sigh in defeat.

"He told me you'd be expecting me."

"I was expecting my grandchild," she says, completely ignoring the fact that I too am her grandchild. "But I guess you'll do. Tell him I spoke to the minister and I will have everything arranged for him at the Last Dinner. His main course will be ready by then."

"What's the main course?" I ask. I know he's planning something, but it can't be good if he has the government involved.

La Maria watches me intently, her lips curling into a condescending smile. 

"If you don't know, he doesn't trust you," is all she says.

I don't stay for lunch. Why would I? With my grandmother's message, I get up to leave, Myra quickly following after. Her company is unpleasant to put it nicely.

"Blake, you have to warn Amber," Myra says once we're out of earshot.

I spin on my heel and face Myra with a frustrated expression, my fists clenched.

"I can't even be sure you're not baiting me! You could be Kyle's spy," I say, even though I know it's very unlikely. The girl seems sincere and there would be no benefit to it. Kyle already knows I would betray him.

Myra's expression turns hard, but she doesn't defend herself. She doesn't need to.

I sigh, putting my hand on her shoulder. It can't be easy for her to go against Kyle like this. The girl is planning on going down with him.

"I'm sorry," I tell her, "I just get frustrated."

"It's okay."

With our moods ruined and not taking the chance to disturb Amber and Kyle, the two of us head back to our empty bar. I order my usual brandy and this time Myra mixes it up with some vodka drink. We both take a big gulp before staring ahead of us.

Fools in love with people who ruined us.

"This game between Amber and Kyle. Why do you say Amber will lose?" I ask. "Amber is head over heels with Xavier. She wouldn't betray him, trust me."

Myra shakes her head, "It's because she's in love that she will lose. If she's capable of the emotion, there's a chance."

"But who's to say Kyle wouldn't-"

"Kyle cannot love," Myra answers me before I can finish my thought. 

"What?" I ask, "That's ridiculous."

The girl stays staring in front of her, her eyes seemingly seeing something else. A memory perhaps.

"There's no one in this world who knows Kyle better than me. Trust me, he can't fall in love. And if that's the case, he can't lose."

I snort at that.

"Can't fall in love, or can't fall in love with anyone besides you?" I ask Myra. It's a low blow, but a valid question.

Myra shakes her head, unphased. "Can't fall in love with anyone other than Emma."

"Emma?" I ask, "His dead ex?"

"He's doing all this for her," Myra explains further, "Everything is for her. His heart belongs to her."

I should press her more on what Kyle plans to do. I should get out as much information I can that'll help Amber, but for the first time in a while, I'm not interested in the golden girl that's held me captive all this time.

"And yet you still love him. Even though you know he will never love you?" I ask, my heart breaking for more than this girl, but for myself as well. For how similar our experience is. And yet, while she was with Amber and me last year, I treated her like trash. A common prostitute, a mere pawn in my plan.

"I do," Myra answers, her eyes glossy as she takes another sip.

"You shouldn't love someone that hurts you," I tell her.

I tell myself.

"It's only because I love them, that they can hurt me," she smiles halfheartedly.

Before I could find the right response, her phone rings and I dumbfoundedly watch her correct her saddened expression. She doesn't talk for long before she ends the call and finishes her drink.

"Jaaco's back," she says, getting up from her seat.

"Jaaco was gone?" I ask, getting up as well and finishing my drink.

"Yes, he went to pick Anil up."

"Who's Anil?"

"Currently the best military jet pilot in the world," Myra answers over her shoulder as we leave the bar. "We have India's D company to thank for that one. Kyle intends to win the jet race this weekend."

"Right," I reply, "Of course he does."

Hey my cabbages!

Been a while since we got a Blake Pov. I'm pretty excited for the Blake/Myra/Kyle storyline. I think it's very interesting and complex. I want to give Myra a POV chapter soon. I feel like her story needs to get properly told.

Anyways, updates are getting harder because I get random spurts of load-shedding thanks to my wonderful government, putting me back in cavemen times before electricity was a thing. Plus someone I knew got stabbed to death this weekend, so that's just great. Anyone not in South Africa that wants to take me in? I could use a new country lol.

Don't worry though. I'm still sticking to the Tuesday Thursday schedule so far.

Stay Golden, stay cabbage!

~ Holly Shmit