Brian and I just picked up two cases of what we can only assume are Kilos of Coke. All that's left to do is drive to the drop off location, which is what we're currently doing. A part of me can't help the terrifying thought that 'this seems too easy'. But maybe the worlds finally decided to give me a break.

Brian drives while I stare aimlessly out the window. Sighing, I reach down to the small microphone attached to my body disabling it. But leaving the camera on my shirt running. Brian notices my actions and does the same.

"You regret letting me stay over the other night?" Brian asks almost instantly as we disable the microphones so no one care hear our conversation.

"No. Have you told Dom yet?" I ask, the questions been burning me from the inside out. I just want the truth to be out, I can't keep hiding.

"Not yet... didn't think it was my place." Brian says, his eyes not budging from the road ahead of us. "Do you not want me to tell him?"

"I don't mind. I think, now... I just want the truth to be out." I explain, I can't help the dread that claws at my stomach. I hate how the past couple of weeks have made me look. I seems so weak. And that's not me.

Brian nods understandingly. My heart aches with the weight of my lies and their consequences. I really do cause more trouble than I'm worth don't I?

The rest of the drive toward Lopez' drop off location is silent. We leave the boxes in the correct location before going back to meet our teams for a debrief.

***

Brian and I go our separate ways after meeting with intelligence for the debrief. We're so close, mere inches away from closing this case. And the second we do, i have to answer people's questions. I have to deal with whatever consequences I deserve.

I make my way home, preparing to meet Jay. I get ready, changing into a pair of baggy jeans, a fitted button down shirt that shows a sliver of my stomach. I leave the first couple of buttons undone, revealing a bit of my chest and the layered necklaces beneath. I grab my pair of black heeled chunky boots and a leather jacket to complete the look. My heart pounds so hard I'm almost afraid it'll bruise my ribs.

Putting my hair up into a tight wavy ponytail, I grab my phone. I head out. It's time. Driving to Mollys almost has an anxiety attack crawling up my spine. My thoughts are consumed. What do I tell him?

The truth. He deserves every ounce of the truth. I just have to hope and pray that he understands, that he can see through the torment I've put him through. I need to pray for his forgiveness. Parking in my car it takes me a minute to gain the courage to get out my car.

When I finally do and make my way into Mollys I can feel it. The instant sense of family that comes from the building— no, the people inside. All these people would risk their lives for one and other. They're always there for each other. Intelligence, firehouse 51, Med doctors. They've all become a part of my messy family.

Walking up to the bar my eyes almost instantly fall upon Herrmann, he instinctively passes me a bottle of corona. I thank him before turning to Scan the bar in search of one person. Jay Halstead.

He sits on a table, in the far corner of the bar. I watch as he sips his beer. He sits alone with a blank look behind his eyes which punches a hole through my chest.

I walk up to him, my heart aching as I pull out the chair in front of him to sit down. His blue eyes meet mine, and they stare past everything. He only looks at me, not the pain I've been through. He looks at Ashley. Not an abused girl. Not a grieving woman. He sees me. And he's angry.

"Hey.." my voice almost aches as I sit in front of him.

"Hey." He replies, my heart aching with a nervous type of awkwardness.

"You want the truth... I'm ready to give it to you." I sigh. I'm done with the lies, I'm done with everything. I just want him to know, I want him to know everything. He shifts in his chair, nodding as he waits for me to start.

"I don't know where to start really, so we'll go from the beginning... Dom is the guy I mentioned, he saved me from my father. He took me in. And Brian," I take a breath before I continue, "Brian's my ex. But before that, he was an undercover cop. That's how I met him. He was put undercover to catch our group, to catch Dom."

Jay nods, listening intently and in all honesty, I don't know where to start, I don't know what to include.

"Why? Was he undercover, what did you do?" Jay questions, my heart palpitates at the question.

"Hijacking Semi-trucks. Our crew did that for a while. Me, Dom, Theo, Letty, Vince and Jesse." I nod, I barely even remember that time period now.

"That's also when I was dating Theo. I mentioned it was bad, and well— you've met the guy now. But I ended things with him, it went badly. Brian and Dom helped me sort things out. Then I started dating Brian... kinda while he was still undercover." I explain, I can see the gears in Jays head turning as he tries to fit together a puzzle that seems impossible.

"Brian let Dom go. He knew we were good people. But it wasn't without failures, Jesse died, Vince took off... Dom, Mia, Letty and I moved on. I kept racing and that was all I did for a few years before we ran into Brian again." I explain trying to decode the scrambled memories in my mind.

"Soon enough we were on the run again... This time with Tyreese, Tej, Han and Giselle. We all ran From Hobbs even Brian. That was until Hobbs kinda recruited us, we took down a huge heroine importer, Reyes. Cipher. Owen and Deckard Shaw. And we stopped some dangerous piece of technology called the gods eye. Then we met Ramsey..." i explain trying to cut down on some details to make it easier to understand. Jay listens in disbelief.

"And Hobbs gave you freedom?" Jay questioned clearly confused.

"Yeah. We did what the police, FBI and Military couldn't. And it wasn't without consequences for us. We thought Han and Letty were dead, Mia and I were kidnapped. Gisele died... we all almost died, multiple times. We deserved freedom. And that's what we got, I moved back to LA with Brian, Mia, Don and Letty." I shift my weight in my chair, waiting for Jays reaction. But his expression doesn't budge.

"Why come here? Leave LA?" And there it is, the question that kills a part of my heart. It kills something in side me every time I have to explain.

"I lost my baby, I had a miscarriage on my own. I was too scared to tell Brian or anyone for that matter so I ran. I liked helping Hobbs, saving lives. I wanted a fresh start... so here I am." Jays eyes widen as I bite my lip desperately fighting to hold myself together.

Jay's Gaze softens, he reaches across the table taking my hand in his. Guilt washes over him as he lifts my hand placing a gentle kiss to my knuckles.

"Ash, I am so sorry that happened to you"

______________________________

Authors note!!
I just wanted to come on and remind everyone that your comments and feedback mean everything to me! They keep me motivated to do this!!

(Disclaimer: wattpad is not an accurate representation of my writing skills. This is a hobby I do not proofread/edit.)

This is my hobby along side, writing actual novels and poetry books and getting those published. I'm also a uni student and will be returning soon so I'm gonna be very busy soon.

Just a little plug, if you're interested in my actual novels and poetry. My tiktok is Gabiwrites20