It's been one year since Zayn left. Well, one year and a day or so, but a year since he "officially" called it quits. The boys have gathered together to just...be there for each other as it was. They gathered at Harry's place in LA and lined up shots, leaving the bottle within reach. They're not pitiful. They're not, but- it's just as hard for them as it was for everyone else. Harder, really. And that's fair.

At some point, someone thought it'd be a good idea to put Zayn's brand new album- fresh off the presses and hitting the top of the charts- on to torture themselves. Zayn had been writing songs on his own for years, but they weren't privy to anything Zayn put into this album. They knew there were a few about them, no way there wasn't when they recognized some of the personal jabs and jokes, but they couldn't really be sure.

That left them silently listening to the lyrics and arranging the stories of what must've been happening in their former bandmate's mind when he wrote them. It hit Liam the hardest, not knowing. He always knew Zayn. Or thought he did. It wasn't like his best friend never told him about his reservations, his feelings about One Direction. He confided in Liam when he and Perrie were having tough times, and Liam was there for him.

At one point or another they were all there for him. Together or individually. They've all been there for each other for a while. Until now. Now, Zayn wasn't there for them. He gave in, ran away, backed out. Left them there to deal with the fallout.

"I hate him," Louis whispered over the quiet music.

"You don't," Harry rebutted.

"I do," he confirmed. "I hate him so much." His voice got more and more hoarse until the end of his sentence came out as a wobbled grunt.

"Only because you love him," Liam pointed out, head resting on Louis' lap.

"Shut up," he spat.

"It's alright, mate," Liam comforted and sat up to press a kiss to the corner of Louis' mouth. "We all do."

"He doesn't love us. He left us," Louis countered. "It's been a year and he's completely forgotten about us. I bet he's off somewhere, pulled some groupie and he's about to take her-"

"Enough," Niall warned. "That's enough of that. We're not going to sit here all night and wallow in what was. Zayn's happy and we should be, too." Niall stood as he spoke, looking ever the motivational speaker. "We're going out. Drinking is way more fun when the walls aren't so close and there's someone else making the drinks."

"Yeah, let's do it," Harry joined easily, desperate for a way to forget.

"I'm good, thanks," Louis declined.

"I don't think I'd be good company," Liam added.

Niall rolled his eyes and knelt down in front of Liam's puppy pout giving him a sad smile. He leaned in and, hovering next to Louis' head with his eyes still on Liam, whispered in the blue-eyed boy's ear. Liam couldn't hear it all, but he was sure he heard the words blow job thrown in there and whined, "Hey," at being left out.

Louis was suddenly much more eager to join the lads night out, smile wide as he planted a firm kiss to Niall's lips. "Let's go, then."

"Excuse you?" Liam complained. "What about me?"

This time, it was Harry's turn to roll his eyes, taking Liam's hand and yanking him up to stand. "Shut up. You know you're going to get some no matter what. Stop whining and come drink with me." As he said it, he saddled up to Liam's hips and wiggled his body against him.

Liam nodded instantly. "Yeah, okay. A bar sounds good."

Harry smirked and combed long fingers through his hair. "Thanks, babe."

***

Zayn was alone. By choice but still. It was his big day. The album was already topping so many charts he'd lost count. Sales were through the roof, radios and critics alike were raving about the new music, but Zayn asked all of his friends and crew to leave hours ago so he could have some time to think. Not that he really wanted to.

It didn't matter that he'd heard the songs a million times by now, he played the finished work on a low volume while he nursed a half empty bottle of whiskey. It felt achingly fitting when 'dRuNk' came on, and Zayn buried his face in his hoodie to hide the wet sound of his crying.

*

An hour later, and three near stumbles, Zayn was walking through an old wooden doorway. It was Jawaad's fault. He'd texted when Zayn was alone and weak and offered to take him out to celebrate the album (despite his plea to be left alone for the night). At least this way he could save that last bottle of Jack for some other lonely night. The bar wasn't crowded, but it wasn't dead, his favorite type of night. It was the type of place he'd never find his old music- nothing like that life at all- nor his new music- too old school for that.

The new plans for the night were sounding better already.

***

"Are you sure about this place?" Louis asked skeptically.

Liam nodded. "Don't worry. Jawaad- um... I've heard this place makes the best drinks. And it's low key." Harry was all for it, already leading them to the nearest large table. They sat close to the front, by the bar, for easy access. They planned to go back for seconds and thirds. Liam tapped the back of the chair he stood behind. "I'll grab us a round," he offered.

"None of that lite shite, Li. I don't care about your 'strict fitness routine'," Niall quoted mockingly. Liam sent him a flippant middle finger as he walked up to the bartop. The lights of the room left most everything under a barely there glow. Liam noted the way the backlighting of the drink shelves gave the bartender sharp cheekbones and a thin, hard nose. Almost like-

He rapped a knuckle on the wood, bringing the man's bright blue eyes to him. Bright blue. Nothing like- The illusion that bar, that bartender, afforded him suddenly vanished. This was just a man. Not his-

"What can I getcha?"

Liam trailed a finger along the curved railing of the bartop. "Three house brews and a Bud Lite. While Liam waited for their drink order, he flipped around and leaned back on his elbows. The brunet scuffed his toe against the dirty floor, ticking off time until he could get spectacularly wasted and forget what tonight was.

"Liam?"

Familiar. Not achingly so, but the accent, the fond surprise; it resonated inside Liam's chest like a siren. He looked up to see those thick brows lifted on Jawaad's forehead.

"Hey, mate," Liam greeted. "What are you doing here?"

Jawaad chuckled. "Me? Don't you remember who told you about this place?" It was Liam's turn to laugh, always so easy with that family.

"All credit is yours, man; don't worry." The beers were set down on a tray behind Liam with a, "Drinks up, mate." Liam turned back to the bartender. "Thanks. Keep the tab open." He lifted the tray and was met with the familiar friend again. "Are you here with someone? You could join us. It's just the guys and I."

"Yeah, sure," Jawaad nodded in agreement. "It's just Zed and me. He'd love to see you guys, I bet."

Liam froze from eyes to toes. He didn't know why he didn't assume he might be with Zayn. The former bandmate was always one to be with those nearest and dearest on big nights like this. He couldn't take it back now. Jawaad was already headed towards the dark back of the room. Liam brought the tray over to their table and set it down. He ignored Niall's finally and kept his eyes trained on the shadowed corner where Zayn's cousin disappeared.

Zayn's head whipped around, out of the booth, to look. He caught Liam's eye and swiftly turned back, hiding behind his seat. Then, the two of them started talking- arguing, if Jawaad's face was anything to go by.

"Um, hey, guys," Liam mumbled, half-hoping they wouldn't hear him so he wouldn't have to say it. They gave him their horribly-divided attention, so Liam pressed on, knowing he'd have all of it in a moment. "Zayn's here." The gasping lack of air was sudden and expected. "I invited him and Jawaad to join us," he added. He didn't add that it was sort of an accident.

"You what?" Louis snapped unbelievingly.

"Hey, lads," Jawaad greeted as he and Zayn approached, Zayn's face a look of forced resignation. The murmuring fell quiet, leaving a heavy space between the two groups. Harry placed a protective arm around Niall- who took Zayn's leaving as a personal misgiving, like he didn't take care of the boy well enough- while Liam placed a calming hand on the back of Louis' neck. Zayn ran a hand over the short buzz he'd been into for months now.

"Hey, guys," Zayn tried.

They'd talked a few, stiff times over the last three hundred and sixty-five days, but being face-to-face felt weirdly comforting and awful. The first to break the silence was Harry, never one for tense situations. "You look good."

Zayn breathed a laugh that sounded more self-deprecating than appreciative. "Thanks, Haz- um...Harry, I mean. You, too." Jawaad rolled his eyes to the ceiling awkwardly and wiggled past Zayn to sit next to Niall's vibrating body.

"Speaking of handsome men," Zayn's always charming cousin teased. "Nialler, are you finally going to let these flaxen locks go untamed? You know how much the ladies, and me," he joked with a wink, "love it all wild." The blond physically relaxed and couldn't help the smile that crept to his face. He ran lazy fingers through his unkempt mane.

"Yeah, probably. Unless you sneak into my room while I'm sleeping and cut if off. That's something I have to worry about with you and your creepy idol love for me." Jawaad found that hilarious, cracking up and giving Niall a firm slap on the back. Harry laughed along but tightened his arm around Niall unconsciously. Jealousy only ever looked good on him.

Liam slid into the seat next to Louis and Zayn, after a long moment of hesitation, slid in next to him. The press of Zayn's thin thigh against Liam's was a blaring reminder of the time they'd spent, curled around each other on cold nights, that they didn't have anymore. Jawaad was keeping up a conversation with Harry and Niall, but, on their side of the table, Louis was sat silently- a miracle for him- with his hand on Liam's thigh. Liam trailed his own hand up to caress the back of Louis' hand in comfort.

As he sighed, Zayn turned to Liam and Louis, determination set on his face. "Tommo." Louis didn't budge, but his hand squeezed tight on Liam's leg. "Alright?" The laugh Louis returned with was sharp and biting, nothing like the laughs Zayn used to make him produce.

"What do you want to hear? That I'm miserable and I miss you? Would that feed your ego? Or that I'm totally happy, so you can lose that guilt that keeps you up thinking about me?"

"Louis," Liam warned.

"I'd love the hear that you're happy, but it won't free any guilt because I've already freed it," Zayn informed.

Louis leaned across Liam with brows creased. "How the hell can you free your guilt without being forgiven? That's mighty conceited of you, Z." Zayn leaned in as well, the two stubborn, heart-broken boys meeting in the middle in front of Liam.

"I don't need your forgiveness. I didn't do anything wrong!" The whole table stopped and stared.

"Okay...," Jawaad interjected awkwardly. "I'm gonna go, um, give you guys some time. I'll see you at home, Zed. I'm sure one of these fine lads can give you a ride."

"Um..." He looked wildly at his cousin, begging him not to do this, but when Jawaad didn't back down and got up from the table, Zayn nodded cautiously. "Yeah, okay, thanks."

"Take him with you," Louis muttered as Jawaad left.

Zayn pinched his lips together in frustration. "You act like it's easy for me to be here right now, but I'm trying to be civil," he snapped.

"It's hard for you to be here?" Harry asked, accusingly as he could with big, wounded eyes. Zayn reached across the table, halfway to holding Harry's hand before he realized and stuffed it back in his lap.

"No, that's not- I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how did you mean it?" Niall supplied in honest curiosity.

"It's hard...to sit here and not- to be around all of you and just- just sit here." He groaned and pointed at where Louis' hand was subconsciously sneaking down to wedge cozily between Liam's thighs. "Can you please stop touching him?" He nearly growled.

After a moment of shock, Louis scoffed. "No. I won't. I'm still allowed to do this." He pointed at himself. "Me," he pointed at the boy next to him, "Liam. Harry, Niall. We're still together. You left, you chose to let us go."

Zayn was on the defensive immediately. "I- I fucking know, okay?" He let out a heavy breath. The anger deflated as quickly as it came, leaving Zayn tired and sore in his chest. "I know what I did. Leaving the band, I don't regret. I needed to do that so I could," he inhaled deeply, "breathe again. But I still can't." He clawed aimlessly at his throat. "It gets stuck when- every time I think about you." The last word came out a whisper, broken in the sound of its desperation. "I sound like an idiot."

"You do," Harry agreed, "but it's still nice to hear."

"Nice? That's harsh, Haz," Niall teased. Harry just tightened the hold around his neck and growled playfully in his ear.

"Not what I meant."

"I know what you meant," Zayn corrected. "I'll say it a million times if you need to hear it."

"Don't," Louis interjected. "I don't want to hear how much it hurts you."

"Lads," Liam calmed. "Maybe we shouldn't do this here." The boys, who just moments before were in each other's faces, looked around. The bar was still quiet- product of a Thursday night- but the few patrons and the bartender were pretending they weren't listening to them fight.

"We could get some rooms a couple blocks from here at the hotel. Maybe..." Harry trailed off with a shrug.

"Really, Harold? Always up for it," Louis baited.

"Not what I- ugh, don't pretend like you're any different," Harry complained. "I meant to talk. Like we haven't since..." They all knew what he meant.

"Yeah," Zayn agreed quickly. "We could do that."

The group shuffled out of the booth, heads down and fists shoved into pockets. Liam held back and waited for Zayn, curling his fingers momentarily around the boy's arm while they walked down the sidewalk. Possession was ingrained in his brain with this boy, and it was hard to shake it. He released his hold and let his arm fall heavily. "Is this okay?" Liam asked cautiously. The raven-haired boy raised a brow in question, to which Liam clarified, "Going back with us."

"Liam, I've shared a room with all of you probably a thousand times."

"Yeah, but not since..." Liam ignored the small groan from the lad who was once his best mate. "I'm just saying you don't have to do this."

"Don't want me to?" Zayn inquired just as they came up on the glass front sliding doors of a hotel- decent, but nothing like they'd stayed in while on tour. The whole night had been a juxtaposition to how their lives were before the break, before the "break-up". Not a single pap tonight, not a single fan, the seedy bar with their untouched, unpaid-for beers, and now, some random hotel with no reservations. "I'm here, aren't I?" Zayn answered his own question.

Louis led the way through the sliding glass and up to the check-in desk. "Can we get the largest room you've got for a few hours?"

Niall rolled his eyes and facepalmed at Louis' oblivion. The clerk looked at the group of five men disapprovingly, not with recognition luckily, but judgement nonetheless. "This isn't that kind of hotel, mate." It's a good thing he couldn't care to know who they were, because Louis was about to make an impression.

"What do you-" The Doncaster lad paused and looked back at his bandmate's faces, ranging from fond to exasperated. "Oh," he realized and turned back to the man. "What? I can't bring my four fiercely sexually active, extremely loud lovers to some random joint for a good time?" Harry was on him in a heartbeat, pulling the 'offended' lad behind him.

"He's joking. We'll take whatever you've got that's decent for the night, please."

With one more accusing look, the clerk said, "I've got..." as he started typing, "a double queen available. Or a single king. Although, I don't think all five of you will fit comfortably in one room-"

"We'll spoon. The king, please," Louis interrupted. The irony was that they probably would, if circumstances were different. They didn't even plan to use the bed for more than a place to sit tonight.

"Oh-um, okay. Of course," the clerk flicked his eyes to the others to make sure this one snarky boy wasn't having him on. "I have one on the second floor and one on the fifth."

Louis hummed 'thoughtfully'. "The fifth, please," he requested, too sweetly. "I love fucking with a view."

The poor employee kept most of his cool, just raising a surprised brow at Louis' blatant attempt to fluster him. "514," he deadpanned and handed the key to the blue-eyed devil. Louis smiled again and turned on his heels to walk away.

"So sorry. He's had a rough night," Harry explained for him. They turned to leave, all the boys giving the employee apologizing looks. Just as Harry was walking away, he swore he heard a murmured, Something tells me he likes it rough, but only smiled at the truth of it and caught up with the others. Louis was standing at the elevator door, tapping a toe impatiently. Niall grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into the lift, spinning them around so Louis was trapped in Niall's arms against the wall.

"You are insufferable. Calm down," he warned as he pushed into Louis' space. "You have to watch who you mouth off to." The blond raised a brow. "Take my four lovers for a good time? Really?"

"What? That guy was a prick." Louis shrugged. "It's not like we haven't done it before."

Niall groaned in frustration. "You used to be much quieter about it." Louis smirked and curled the fingers of one small, tan hand around Niall's hip.

"I was never the quiet one,' he teased.

Over Niall's shaky laugh, Harry leaned into Zayn. "Miss this," he admitted. "Been awhile since we all came together. Only did tonight because of your album." Zayn nodded in understanding. "It's good," the taller lad offered. "Very you. I like it."

"Thanks, Haz. That means a lot." Zayn's hand slid under Harry's and wrapped around his, fingers intertwined. The green-eyed boy looked down to their hands and then up to Zayn's face. "I didn't mean to leave you," he whispered. Harry nodded, though in understanding or acknowledgement, Zayn didn't know.

Harry leaned in so he wouldn't be heard over the sounds of Louis' lips on Niall's skin while the blond laughed. "We missed you, too." The lift door chimed with its final ding, doors sliding open for them. Liam grabbed Louis and Niall's hands, tugging them into the hallway and towards their room. Harry and Zayn followed after, still hand in hand.

When Zayn pushed through the heavy hotel door, with Harry trailing closely, Liam was hovering over Niall's shirtless body, knees straddling the blond's hips. Louis was in the bathroom, light flicked on and door swung open. He came shuffling out and threw a towel at the snogging pair while he set a hand towel on the nightstand.

"Show some class; don't get anything on the sheets," Louis chastised.

Harry cleared his throat, softly at first, but the three just ignored him. "Lads!" That gained their attention, the trio pausing mid-kiss or touch. "We're meant to be talking to Zayn." Liam gave a chuckle and delivered one more kiss to Niall's cheek before climbing off the bed and straightening out his hair.

"Right, sorry."

"I don't mind," Zayn permitted over a laugh. "Been awhile since I've gotten to watch you guys."

"Well, it's not for you," Louis hissed.

Zayn gave him a knowing look. "It was always for me."

Louis' mouth went tight, guarded. "Not anymore, and you wonder why-"

"Alright," Harry silenced them. "Hold back on the fighting for just a bit so we can actually talk." Louis humphed but sat up quietly.

"Does he even want to talk?" Louis questioned, making all four sets of eyes turn and land on Zayn.

"Whatever you want, I want," Zayn offered. When they all just gave him impatient looks, the dark-haired lad rolled his eyes and walked across the floor to where Louis was balancing back on his hands on the bed. Zayn leaned down, coming face to face with the one person he couldn't get to forgive him. When hurt, Louis could hold a grudge with the best of them. "Would I need to prove it to you? You know I can." It was cruel and teasing, and Louis was having none of it. It was so much like Zayn to do anything to have their attention.

"Fuck off, you twat." Louis pushed against Zayn's chest, making the former bandmate lean back up to stand. "You always had to work to get in my pants. I don't know why you'd think it'd be any different now."

"Because I can tell you're gagging for it," Zayn accused as he leaned back in, further this time, so Louis had to lay down and Zayn climbed on top of him. Louis huffed his disapproval and pinched Zayn's side, making his right arm buckle. Taking advantage of the thin lad's disorientation, Louis pushed Zayn onto his side and then back, flipping them so he was straddling the Bradford boy's hips.

"You can't tell shit about me, Zayn. It's been a long year," Louis corrected. Zayn leaned up, catching Louis off-guard and making his agile hands clamp onto Zayn's shoulders so he wouldn't fall back.

"Some things never change."

"Boys," Liam sighed and came up behind his smaller mate, hands smoothing up his soft arms onto Louis' shoulders. "Lou, you're the one that wanted this to be a talk."

"Yeah, and?" Louis challenged.

Liam didn't take the bait. "It might be easier if you got your very distracting, lovely bum off Zayn's lap." Zayn laughed, quiet and low. Louis backhanded him half-heartedly and slipped off the darker lad's lap with one more rock of his hips. Zayn adjusted his trousers as he sat up and scooted to share the space on the bed. Niall and Harry shifted to join the circle while Liam sat in the open space, all five making some sort of tribal meeting. Liam tapped his fingers on his knee, unable to handle the silence, until Niall reached over and tangled their hands together to still him.

"The album sounds great," Niall offered. Zayn's face went soft and his whole body visibly relaxed.

"You think? Honest?"

Niall nodded. "It fits you perfectly. Sounds like all the stuff you wanted to do all these years...and- yeah, couldn't."

"TiO is great. Very naughty, Zaynie," Harry teased, simmering mirth in his eyes.

"I love fOoL fOr YoU," Liam added.

Louis huffed a laugh. "Yeah, wonder why." Liam raised a brow, confusion written plainly on his face. Zayn had his own laugh.

"Because it's about you, dummy," the new solo artist admitted. The look on Liam's face was priceless. Like that statement was a really hard riddle, and, when he got it, Liam's face flickered with realization as he gave a nervous chuckle.

"Really?"

Zayn lifted up to his hands and knees and crawled over to Liam across the circle to get in Liam's space. Always one for being close with his boys.

"When will you learn, Leeyum? Everything is for you guys."

Liam's laugh was more amused that time. He was always so insecure when it came to being loved. Compliments always meant someone wanted something from him. Except for his boys. They just seemed to love him for...him.

And Zayn. Defiant, needy Zayn. First to put up a front, and first to let it fall and submit for him. Liam could read this game, goading him into making a move. He could play.

Liam leaned in himself, closing the rest of the space so the tip of his nose brushed Zayn's. That had Zayn taking a gulp of air. His eyes went a little darker at the hard edge to Liam's stare. The broader lad smirked as he flicked his eyes to the other boys, who were watching closely to see where Liam would take this.

"You'd do anything for me, wouldn't you?" Liam asked. Zayn just nodded shortly. "Anything?" Another nod. "Good." Liam landed one, soft kiss on Zayn's lips, teasing and gone before he could react, before sitting back and smiling. "Do you regret leaving?"

Zayn's face fell as he sat back down in his spot. "Do we have to talk about-"

"You said 'anything'. We want to hear what you have to say," Liam reminded. Niall leaned to his left and breathed out heavily as he let his forehead fall to Zayn's shoulder. Zayn looked down as a hand tangled in Niall's hair.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't you that I left. I could never leave you."

Niall's laugh was weak and sorrowful. "Then why did you leave at all?"

Zayn thought they'd gotten past that. "I couldn't live that life anymore. That music, that fame, it wasn't real to me."

Niall scoffed. "I don't mean the band. I get that, but you say you'd never leave us," he finally looked up at his former lover, "but you did. It's been a year, Zayn. When was the last time-"

The room went quiet again, the meaning of the words he couldn't say heavy in the air. When was the last time he spent time with them? When was the last time they spent the night together? Kissed? Much less fucked. "I didn't think I could come back," Zayn admitted. "I wanted to stay, be with you guys, but would you really have let me?"

After a quiet minute, Liam answered. "You're always going to be ours." It wasn't pleading or whiny. A fact. The Wolverhampton boy was absolutely sure. "And we'll always be there to take care of you if you let us."

Harry took Zayn's hand and pressed the tips of the darker boy's fingers to his lips. "Haven't gotten to take care of you in so long, Zaynie." Zayn's fingers crept from Harry's lips to caress his cheek.

"Want you to." Opposed to Liam's declaration just moments ago, Zayn's admission was more of a question. Harry's smile was answer enough, genuine through and through. When he pulled Zayn to him by the wrist and locked their mouths together, he had all the assurance he needed. In the heat of it, Zayn couldn't hear much past the sound of blood rushing south, but he did hear the moan that came from the bed.

"My turn," Niall demanded as he got off the bed and gripped the back of Zayn's neck and turned his face just in time to press their lips together. Zayn moaned at the force of Niall's kiss, tipping them back onto the bed. Zayn turned to lay on the blond, shifting onto his knees to get better leverage. He pushed his tongue past the blond's lips and licked into his mouth fervently.

"Missed you," Zayn whispered against his mouth.

"I can tell," Niall teased as he snuck a hand between them to where Zayn's thickening bulge was grinding against Niall's stomach.

"Niall," he breathed. "I want-"

Hands on his hips kept Zayn from pressing forward again to relieve some of the mounting pressure. "I know what you want," Liam assured from his new spot behind him. "But you'll have to earn it." Zayn let his head loll back, ear right next to Liam's mouth as the fit brunet rocked into him from behind. "'S been way too long since we've used you, baby." Zayn moaned and arched back to feel more.

"Never wanted to leave you," Zayn tried, needing them to know.

Then, another set of clammy hands were pressing into Zayn's shirt. "You never have to." Harry. Sweet, understanding Harry. Zayn wanted so badly to make him feel as good as he'd always made Zayn feel- still did, even though he'd left.

Zayn lifted his chin, letting his eyes fall open again. Everyone was surrounding him, exactly how he liked, how they'd always done. Except Louis. The stubborn lad was sitting on his knees about a foot away and looking intently at the display. Zayn suddenly needed those hands more than anything else right then.

"Louis," Zayn called to him and pushed his way through the other three boys to kneel in front of his partner-in-crime. "Let me apologize."

"With what? A blow job or an 'I'm sorry'? Because I don't want you to suck my brains out just to make me forgive you."

Zayn was shaking his head. That's not what he wanted at all. "Just want to make you happy," he whispered, though the room was silent and they could all hear the plea clearly. Louis' mouth twitched to say something, but then he just pressed his lips together and brought a hand up to comb through Zayn's barely there hair.

"You always made me happy," Louis assured. "I just wish I made you happy enough to stay."

Zayn visibly flinched. "Is that why you think I left? God, Lou. How many times do I have to say that I never wanted to leave you guys? You're the only thing that kept me going until I could be free." Zayn curled his fingers into Louis' growing locks. "I love you."

As his eyes went wet, Louis pushed forward and buried his face in Zayn's neck. "Say it again."

With a laugh, Zayn pressed his lips to Louis hair and said, "I love you, Tommo. Always will."

Louis wrapped his arms tightly around Zayn's neck and leaned his head up to kiss under the gone boy's chin. "I sort of fucking hate you though," he murmured with his lips pressed to Zayn's scruff.

"I know. I'm sorry." Zayn smoothed a hand over Louis' cheek, his thumb sliding blindly along Louis' lower lip. "Forgive me," he whispered. Louis shook his head under Zayn's chin, but the Bradford boy just lifted Louis' chin and kissed him, gently and slow. "Fine, don't forgive me, but I'm still going to take care of you."

Zayn pushed Louis back so he landed with a bounce on the bed, his legs coming out from under him. With a laugh, Zayn knelt on top of him, straddling the smaller lad and putting his hands on Louis' chest. "Z, you better watch yourself."

"Yeah, Zayn," Niall teased as he slid a hand down the lean boy's back. "You want to be good for us, right?"

Zayn bit down on his bottom lip and let his eyes fall shut for a moment. "Yeah."

Niall let his hand wander further, over Zayn's back pocket to cup his ass while Louis pulled him down by his neck and kissed him hard. The moan that Zayn pushed against Louis' mouth was more of rumble than anything. He curled Louis' shirt in his hands and rolled his hips back into Niall's grip.

The blond's chuckle was equally fond and smug. "Such a showoff."

"He hasn't shown anything yet," Harry teased. Zayn answered with a low whine. "Oh, baby, you can do better than that." Harry leaned down and nibbled on Zayn's earlobe. "Tell your daddies how much you need us."

"Fuck, Haz," Zayn huffed and ground down on Louis' equally hard bulge.

"Tell us, baby," Niall ordered, more sharply that time.

"Daddy, please-" Zayn inhaled shortly and rolled his hips harder. "Daddy, I want- I want all of you."

"I bet you do," Liam quipped. He got up and went around to Zayn's other side and whispered against the lad's arm as his lips trailed upwards. "We're gonna give it to you, Zaynie."

"Don't be...a fucking prick, Leeyum," Zayn groaned.

The hand just cupping Zayn's ass lifted and slapped back down, making Zayn bury his face in Louis' shirt and moan. "Watch your mouth, babe," Niall warned. "Daddy might not fuck you."

"No, I'm sorry," Zayn lifted back up to his knees and pleaded. He reached a hand back and wrapped it around Niall's neck. "It's been so long. Please, I need it."

"Christ, Zayn. I want to give it to you so bad," Louis admitted. He grappled with Zayn's shirt until the younger lad pulled it off. "More," Louis demanded and tugged at Zayn's jeans.

"You, too," Zayn urged and let his hands slide down Louis' chest.

"Yeah- yeah, okay." Louis wiggled until he could get his shirt off and then tucked his hands under Zayn to undo his jeans. Zayn lifted up to work and get his off, too, while Niall yanked Louis' down his legs and tossed them off the bed. With both boys in their pants, Louis reached inside and got a grip on Zayn's hot length. The darker boy's eyes trickled shut at the rough, so-good sensation.

Zayn rolled his hips into Louis' grip and reached blindly to his side to find someone, something, to hold onto so he could ride Louis' hips harder. His hand found Harry and held tight. "Keep going," the raven-haired boy begged as he gasped for air.

At the attention, Harry scooted forward and placed a steady hand on Zayn's chest as his other came down to where Louis was tugging on Zayn's flushed dick and stopped his ministration. Zayn whined in frustration, his eyes flying to Harry's hand wrapped around Louis' smaller one. "Not yet. He'll come when we're done with him," Harry teased.

"Haz," Zayn groaned, upset. "Lou, ignore him. Please," he begged.

Louis just laughed at his desperation. "Not a chance, mate. I love seeing you like this.

Two rough hands made a path down Zayn's tan back. Zayn shivered at the touch and whipped his head around to see Niall ducking down, blond locks swishing against his skin as he kissed down Zayn's spine. "Lean over," he ordered gently. Zayn obeyed, folding forward to rest his head in the curve of Louis' neck. Niall's hands went lower, tucking under the waistband of Zayn's now rumpled pants and yanking them down to sit under the cup of his bum. With a hum of approval, Niall spread his boy open with two hands to get a good look at his clenched hole.

"How long has it been, baby?" Liam wondered.

Zayn growled and buried his face harder into Louis sweat-damp skin. The blue-eyed boy raised a hand and carded his fingers through Zayn's hair in comfort, but repeated Liam's question. "How long?"

"Don't," he pleaded weakly.

"Has to be a while," Niall inferred cheekily. "You're so tight, I can tell already." To prove his point, the blond pressed the pad of two fingers against Zayn's puckered rim, making the darker boy's moan and press his lips to Louis' neck in attempt to mute the vulnerability in him.

"Here, babe," Harry offered and handed Niall a packet of lube. Niall was glad once again that the curly-headed boy was always two steps ahead of him. He took the supplies with a thankful kiss to Harry's temple and slicked up three fingers.

The push of the first finger was a slow process. Niall drizzled more lube onto their joined skin and pushed in further, bringing a prolonged moan from the bottom's lips. "You know," Niall mused, "seeing as you love being fucked," Zayn huffed at being called out on it, "I swore you would have been used quite a bit."

Zayn clenched hard on Niall's finger in retaliation and scoffed. "Why would you think I'd be loose for you if I haven't been with you guys in over a year?"

It was Liam's turn to scoff, "Like your bedroom has been lonely for three hundred and sixty-five days." The Bradford boy dug his nails into Louis' chest when Niall pushed another finger in slowly, but he didn't say anything, just a low, long gruff with his brows furrowed.

"Have something to say there, Z?" Harry asked with demand in his tone. When the submissive didn't answer, Harry gripped the back of Zayn's neck and yanked him back to lean against his chest, mouth tickling his ear. "Say it."

"I haven't..." He trailed off to silence.

"Again. Louder."

Zayn squeezed his eyes shut and pushed out, "I haven't been with anyone since I left." At that, Niall laughed and curled his fingers inside of Zayn's body, sending a shiver up Zayn's body. "Keep going."

"Been so long since you've felt that, hasn't it?" Liam teased.

"Don't..." Zayn begged, just needing a bit of sympathy from the four he'd been so long gone without for the past year.

Liam trickled a hand up and down Zayn's back. "Don't what?"

Zayn rolled his hips on Niall's fingers, tingling as they shifted deep inside him, mildly frustrated that Niall wasn't lending a hand at all, fingers still. When his former bandmates realized he wasn't planning on answering, just taking control and doing his best to get off without help, Louis' arms came around his waist and held him tight.

"Guys, I think we're going to have to remind this one how this works."

Niall made a sound of surprised happiness and pulled his fingers out. "Yes, finally! Who has the bag?"

Harry rolled his eyes fondly. "None of us, sweetie. We came straight from the bar."

The blond looked around with a quizzical eye. "I'll figure something out." Then, he was up and off the bed, looking around the minimal room for something, anything probably. He reached to the top of the bed and stripped off the pillow cases. When he looked back and saw them all just looking at him, he waved a hand towards them. "Don't just stand there. Get naked."

The group shared a laugh and started disrobing while Niall respread the towel they tangled up on the bed. Then, he went over to where Harry had dropped his jeans and whipped the belt out from the belt loops.

Supplies in hand and spread on the bed, Niall ordered Zayn to lay down on the towel at the head of the bed on his stomach. The flush that colored the lanky boy's face was all the others needed to push and caress him until he was in position.

Zayn had his face half buried in the bed, so when both wrists were pulled on, his arms taunt, and then wrapped with what he had to guess was the pillowcases, he looked up to see them being tied to the headboard. He groaned and tugged on the thick binds but got nowhere. These boys were pros by now.

He felt hot breath against the delicate skin under his ear, and leaned into the voice that said, "You don't really have a say in this. Just take what we give you." Zayn hummed lowly and ground filthily into the bed. "I knew you'd love that," Liam smirked and stood back up at the side of the bed.

"Get up on your knees," Niall instructed next. Zayn pulled himself up and settled on his spread knees, gravity arching his spine. Before he could relax again, a firm hand was wrapped around the base of his dick and balls. He keened at the pleasure-pain and groaned into his shoulder.

"Hazza," Niall called. "It's your belt, why don't you do the honor?" Harry must have given his agreement because then the warm, worn leather of Harry's belt was looped around the sensitive skin at Zayn's base. Pulled tight, and tucked into itself, the belt started constricting the rushing blood to the bottom boy's dick.

"That should help," Louis remarked with half a smile and lust in his eyes.

Zayn was shaking his head slowly, lazily, as he mumbled, "Help what?" in his haze. The group chuckle was more scary than cute at that moment. It felt intimidating, threatening almost. "Lads? Help what?"

The bed dipped behind him and two hands took hold of Zayn's hips, pushing his pants down further again. "So you won't come until we're all done," Liam explained, too sweet. As if that was the gunshot to start the relay, Liam lined up and pushed into Zayn's prepped hole, newly naked and slicked with the lube leftover. Zayn's moan was pushed out of him in a loud burst, much to Liam's delight. They shared a moment of serenity, Liam buried deep and letting Zayn adjust while his hand roamed the expanse of the lad's tan back and ass.

When Zayn circled his hips against Liam's hips and licked his lips, Liam knew he was ready. The broader boy pulled out and pushed back in smoothly, starting a rhythm that had the older one biting down on his moans and gripping the fabric around his hands. Over the rushing in his ears, Zayn could hear Liam's murmurs of praise and the rustling of the other boys moving and touching, but soon he lost all focus as Liam pushed Zayn's knees out with his own and went deeper, nailing his prostate dead on.

"Fuck, Liam. Oh, yes." Zayn tilted his hips up to get more of what Liam was giving him. "Yes, babe. Harder," he whispered.

Liam gave a breathy laugh as he thrusted in harder and said, "We've only just started, Z. Don't beg yet." Zayn made a sound of frustration and clenched on Liam's cock. Liam's breath caught, but he just pulled Zayn back onto him harder. "Make me come, baby."

Zayn wanted that. He wanted to make Liam feel so good he couldn't take it. He wanted to make them all feel that way. The dark-haired boy rolled his hips up and down, working on Liam's dick as he clamped down on him, sharing the building heat.

Liam scratched fingers down the back of Zayn's neck as he gave a few stilted thrusts and filled Zayn with cum. Zayn let his eyes fall shut, dick giving a heavy twitch at the feeling. Liam laid over Zayn's sweaty back and caressed idly across the other boy's chest and stomach as he pulled out. He left a few sweet kisses as he fell away, breathing heavy and eyes drifting.

The bed dipped again and then, before Zayn could even look behind him, another boy pushed inside, led by Liam's release. It happened so fast, even Zayn's moan was cut short by the so-full feeling. "Zaynie," Harry cooed, voice rough.

Zayn's hand snapped in its hold, instinct trying to get him to touch Harry even though he knew he couldn't. "I want- it's...full," is what he decided on in the end.

Harry gave a good grind, shifting inside his lover just for the fun of it. "You love it," he declared, fully confident. "You used to beg me for my dick, babe." He pulled his hips back and slid back in slowly. "The shows always got you so hyped, then you'd come running, all sweaty and glowing, begging for me to fuck you." He built up his rhythm as he rambled, loving how it made Zayn moan and squeeze on him.

"Harry," Zayn pleaded. "Har- Oh, God." He shook his head to clear it, tamping down the blinding need to come. "Always wanted you. Always...always- fuck."

"I remember when you'd come to me, higher than your falsetto, and get on your knees before I could even say hello," Louis mused. "You've quite the mouth on you." Louis climbed on the bed and wiggled under Zayn's arm to rest up on his knees in front of Zayn's face. His hard cock bumped against Zayn's chin, making the younger lad flick his tongue out, almost unconsciously, to taste him.

Louis gripped himself, fingers wrapping lightly to lead his head towards the willing boy's mouth. Zayn opened his lips, his pink, soft, inviting lips, and Louis slipped between them. The wet warmth was immediate and made Louis gasp in surprise. "Come on, babe," Louis encouraged and raked his fingers through Zayn's hair. "Show me how much you missed me."

The dark-haired one hummed contentedly and let his jaw go slack so he could lower down further on Louis' length. He could feel Louis slide along his tongue, the familiar taste of him filling all of Zayn's senses. That was his only focus, tasting all he could, making Louis praise him, tell him he was good, until Harry changed his easy rhythm and pulled back out to push in hard.

Zayn was rocked forward, choking on Louis' cock, and moaning at the combination of pleasures. "Fuck, Haz. Do it again. He just takes it," Louis awed as a hand came around to push on Zayn's head.

"Always did." Harry shoved his cock deep, sending Zayn forward on Louis' dick again. Zayn moaned and felt his whole body tighten, blood pumping fruitlessly for release. The vise around Harry's shaft had the boy gripping Zayn's sides, nails digging in, as he came inside his former bandmate.

Louis didn't let up, using Zayn's mouth to get off. He had both hands on either side of the buzzed cut Zayn had been sporting, thumbs sliding down to press into Zayn's hollowed cheeks. He moved Zayn's head like a rag doll back and forth on his length, relishing in the slick heat of his lover. The force was pulling on his wrists, the fabric surely leaving red behind by now.

"Zayn." Louis slid a hand down Zayn's shaking back. "Zayn, Zayn, Zayn." The blue-eyed boy stilled with his tip caressing the soft back of his lover's throat and shot his seed with a shocked inhale of breath.

The overwhelming force of pleasing two men at once, and them praising him so vehemently, was more than Zayn could take as his eyes went dark and his body sagged in its holds. He felt Harry leave him, soft length sliding out of his hole, as Louis pulled out of his mouth and Zayn's head fell limp. Their voices washed over him from miles away.

"He's okay," Liam calmed the group. "It's been awhile since we went this hard."

A small hand came and scratched gently at his scalp. "I wish we hadn't wasted an entire fucking year," Louis cursed.

"We all had to go through that. Including Zayn," Harry reminded.

The bed dipped and then arms were wrapping around his waist, a head pillowing on his shoulder. "Love you, Zaynie," Niall whispered into his skin. Zayn's eyes squeezed tight as he mumbled a croaky Niall and tried to lift his heavy head. Niall hummed at Zayn's awareness and kissed his shoulder. "How'd you feel?"

"You're still..." He trailed off into silence.

"Try again, baby." The blond scooted closer, body flush to him so he could listen.

Zayn cleared his throat and looked over his shoulder at the sweet face of his friend. "You're still hard."

"Oh...uh, yeah. Sorry." Niall sat up, breaking the connection of their skin to skin contact.

Zayn's brows furrowed and he made a confused sound. "Want you."

Niall chuckled lightly, soft and gentle. "It's okay, love. I'm good. Just want to be near you."

Zayn pulled on the wrist binds tying him to the bed, and Liam and Louis noticed instantly, working to untie him. He let them drop to the bed, on all fours as Liam reached under him and undid the belt that was turning his cock purple now. With a warning of don't come yet, he was free. The lad turned and climbed onto Niall's lap languidly. Niall welcomed him easily, settling on his knees and wrapping his arm around the thin boy's waist.

"Hey there," Niall teased.

Zayn smiled dopily and nuzzled under the Irishman's chin while one sneaky hand slipped down and palmed at Niall's ignored hard on. Niall's hips jolted forward with a groan.

"Hey yourself," Zayn greeted as he rolled his bum down on Niall's welcoming lap.

The blond hummed, voice rough, and stilled Zayn's hips with two hands. "Babe, you don't have-"

Zayn cut him off with a kiss. "Want to," he admitted with a shadow a smile on his lips. He gave another half-hearted grind of his hips and said, "You'll have to do the work."

Niall laughed at that, their smiles matching, and he couldn't help but kiss him again. "I can do that." With one arm secure around his waist, he lifted the lithe boy and held his other hand out towards the boys now scattered on the bed. "Lube, please."

Harry was quick to snag it off the bedside table where it was tossed in the chaos, squeezing the last little bit into Niall's palm. He sent a wink in gratitude and slicked himself up. He slid his hand between Zayn's firm cheeks, wiping the rest of the lube across his crack and hole. Zayn shuddered at the feeling, arching back for more.

Niall smirked at his eagerness and let his fingers wander back up to Zayn's puffy, swollen rim. As he slipped two fingers inside, he mused, "Our boys finally got you loose."

Zayn made an indignant sound and carelessly backhanded Niall's chest. "Guess I don't need you, then."

Niall's arms went tight around him as he growled lowly. "'S not funny."

The darker boy rolled his eyes but lowered his head to speak straight into Niall's mouth. "I could never-" He took a long breath through his nose. "A year without you was hell. I never want to do that again."

Niall let his nose press against Zayn's. "I won't let you." With that, he angled himself towards Zayn's hole and sat the boy down gently, slowly, carefully. The long stroke down had Zayn's mouth falling open and his hips wiggling for more. More that Niall refused to give him yet. The way Zayn's brows creased in frustration only made Niall want to tease him more.

Once the brown-eyed boy was seated, Niall ground them together, excruciatingly slow. Zayn moaned in a long, high whine. "More, Ni."

"Not yet." The blond kept up the sluggish rotation of his hips, exploring Zayn's walls and mouth alike. With every deep touch, Zayn was huffing a breath against Niall's top lip.

"Just. Fuck. Me," he breathed.

"No," Niall refused. "I'm not fucking you." He grabbed Zayn's chin and made the older boy look down at him. "I'm making love to you. Understand?" Zayn nodded slightly, licking over his lips. "I want to hold you and watch you come."

"Yes, sir," he whispered. Appeased, Niall shifted his knees apart for better leverage and pushed up into Zayn. The darker lad inhaled sharply and shuddered as he did it again. "So good," he encouraged.

"Move with me," Niall instructed and helped guide Zayn on his lap. One hand crept up the bottom boy's back to grab his shoulder, the other down to cup his small ass. The two ground against each other, desperation making their movements choppy.

"Niall," Zayn pleaded his name. "I'm close." He'd been close actually, for longer than he could remember. Hours, it seemed.

"Can you come like this?" he asked. Zayn nodded shortly as he panted for air. "Do you want me to touch you?"

Zayn groaned. "God, yeah." Niall chuckled and brought the hand that was playing with Zayn's ass around to his front, two fingers tracing the line of his hip. He continued to his pelvis and up the line of Zayn's deep red dick. Zayn cried out before he could bite down on the sound.

"Sensitive?" The raven-haired boy grunted and dug his nails into Niall's shoulder. Niall ignored the mild protest and wrapped a loose fist around Zayn's cock, bringing another bead of precome from the slit. Zayn huffed out an airy oh, fuck and wrapped his arms around Niall's shoulders as he rocked between his fist and his dick.

Niall kept the smooth, slow pace he had inside of his boy, and added long, easy strokes of his hand. Every second had Zayn clenching tighter on Niall's length and making the heat harder to ignore. Not that he had to. Zayn was right there with him.

"Ni- Niall. I'm so-" His thighs shook and as he rocked faster, squeezed harder. "Yes, yes. Oh, sh-" Zayn smashed his mouth against Niall's as he painted the blond's stomach with white strips of cum.

Niall moaned as Zayn's seed dripped down his fingers, but he couldn't stop fucking him, pulling him off. He needed more of the Bradford boy. Never enough. Always more, more, more.

"Niall," Zayn whimpered as he tucked his lips under the younger lad's chin. "Hurts."

The blond winced against the idea of stopping now, but slowed down anyway. "Want me to stop?"

Zayn tangled his fingers into his lover's hair and shook his head. "Use me," he offered instead.

That gave Niall too much joy to be normal; the opportunity to take Zayn further, to his limits. Niall lifted them both up, pushing Zayn down on the bed under him. Zayn yelped and wrapped his legs around the blond's body as he pushed back inside with a hard thrust.

The darker boy bit down on his whimper and let Niall get off using him. The pleasure was mixed so vividly with the pain that his mind was going hazy and he could feel the 'too much' feeling taking over.

"Stay with me," Niall urged and stroked a hand down his cheek. "I'm close, babe." Zayn nodded but let his eyes fall closed. Niall slowed to small figure-eights as his orgasm took over, shaking through the waves of pleasure. Zayn's sleepy eyes were barely open as he raked his fingers through Niall's hair.

Niall pulled out carefully and fell to Zayn's side, colliding with Louis, who was wrapped up in Harry's arms. He turned his head into their body warmth and snuggled close. Liam scooted closer and pulled Zayn to him, one hand almost immediately finding Zayn's wet hole. Zayn whined low but allowed it, allowed Liam to slide a finger in and play with the multiple loads dripping from him.

"Amazing," Liam revered quietly. "I could take you again. God, you make me crazy, Z." Whether in mild frustration, or pent up lust, Zayn didn't know, but Liam pushed another finger in next to the first and stroked against his walls.

"Shit, Li. I can't-"

"Okay, yeah," he complied and reluctantly pulled his fingers out. He brought them to Zayn's slack mouth and pushed them inside for the older boy to taste the mix of his lovers together. Zayn licked them clean without any real purpose and then just sucked on the wet tips until Liam pulled them away. "Come here." Liam wrapped Zayn up close and pulled the blanket up to cover their sweaty bodies.

Zayn closed his eyes and tried to listen to the breathing of each individual boy, just in case he didn't get to do this again. He didn't know if they'd work things out, much less get back to how they once were, but, if he never got to feel this way again, at least he had one unforgettable night.

***

Finally posted!! Sorry I've been absent lately; work has been crazy. But I'll be off for summer in a few days and I can't wait to get writing again.

Also, I lost all my requests recently. If yall could comment with yours that'd be great!

COMMENTS AND VOTES! MWAH!! Xoxo