"Hey, Lou," Harry purred in Louis' ear over the back of the couch.

Louis smiled softly and leaned back into Harry's space. "Hi."

Harry came around the couch and sat next to where Louis was settled in watching Celebrity Big Brother, "Going out tonight. Coming?"

"Yeah, 'spose. Where to?"

Harry shrugged, "Left it to the others to pick."

"Oh, everyone's going. Um, okay. Don't let Liam pick or we know where we're going," Louis rolled his eyes.

Harry chuckled, understanding, "I don't think Zayn and Niall will let him. We're all tired of Buddha." He curled into Louis' side, making himself small for the blue-eyed boy. "Until then," Harry smirked up at Louis, "We've got some time."

Louis smirked back down at his cherub boyfriend, "How much time?"

Harry's fingers snuck under Louis' worn tee, "Enough."

***

"He's been so weird," Liam voiced his concern.

"Oh God, I thought it was just me. But he is being weird lately, right?" Niall agreed.

"He seems fine to me," Harry added.

"Yeah 'cause he still sleeps with you. He hasn't so much as kissed the rest of us in weeks," Zayn complained.

Harry's face flushed in embarrassment, "I didn't know."

Niall traced the laurels on Harry's bare hips idly, "Not your fault, Haz. You still come to our beds."

Harry's skin went red, but for a different reason this time. "Because I love you guys. And Louis still does. I know he does. I don't know what's wrong."

"We should take him out. Show him a good time," Liam suggested.

"Not Funky Buddha," Niall and Zayn blurted out at the same time.

Liam looked put out but loosened when Zayn kissed the corner of his lips.

"Well fine then. Where?"

"You guys pick. I'm gonna go find our boy," Harry decided.

***

"Trust me, babe, those jeans look fucking great," Harry reassured Louis. "Why don't you show the others? They'd love to get a look at you anyway."

Louis quickly shook his head, "No, it's fine. I trust you." Louis pulled a shirt on with a pair of gray vans and headed to the bathroom to do his hair. Harry sat on the bed in contemplation. He didn't notice Louis' sudden adversion to others until they pointed it out, but all day now he'd noticed it. He'd pulled Harry to his room instead of watching telly with them and made tea just for the two of them. But when Harry talked fondly of the boys Louis agreed whole-heartedly. He'd gone all soft when Harry mentioned something cute Niall did that morning, even adding how he loves his hair in the morning before he messes with it. Whatever was eating at Louis and making him uncomfortable around the others wasn't his lack of love for them, but it was hindering their relationship.

"Ready? I think they're waiting on us."

Louis came back and looked to the door, then back at Harry. "We don't have to go out. Let them go. I wouldn't mind staying in."

"We're going, Louis. Why are you being so weird?"

Harry practically dragged Louis out to the living room with him. The others were waiting with tentative yet hopeful smiles. Louis kept his eyes cast towards the floor as they filed into a blacked out car. They sat two and three, facing each other; Harry and Louis in one seat, Niall, Zayn, and Liam on the other. They all talked amiably but they could tell Louis was more quiet than normal.

Once they got to the club they headed to the VIP room and Niall and Liam went to the bar to get a round of drinks while the others found a booth. Louis clung to Harry where they sat as Zayn gave them curious looks.

The boys came back with a tray of alcohol and passed out everyone's chosen beverages. Louis sipped on his happily and stayed mostly quiet. Even Harry was starting to get confused. Maybe he'd been unaware of Louis' behavior because he still snuck under the covers after they turned the lights off and touched him like he always had, but this Louis was unreadable to him.

"Dance with me?" Niall asked across the booth to Louis.

Louis looked shocked for a moment, like he hadn't danced with Niall a hundred times before. "Uh, not right now. Maybe later Nialler."

Niall's face fell in disappointment before Zayn put a hand on his knee and offered, "I'd love to dance with you," even though Zayn's version of dancing wasn't exactly what Niall meant.

Niall's face brighten though at his boyfriend's kindness and they made their way to the crowd of sweaty people. Harry looked over to see something like desire cross Louis' face before it fell into sadness.

He leaned over and spoke so Louis could hear him over the music, "Why didn't you say yes if you want to dance?"

"I don't," Louis tried.

"You do. I can tell." Harry slid a hand slowly up Louis' thigh, "Come dance with me." Louis went soft next to Harry, leaning into him and nodding. As Harry pulled Louis to the dance floor Liam watched with his mouth hung open. But that wasn't nearly as bad as the hurt on Niall's face when he saw them. Zayn tried to console the blond as inconspicuously as possible, but Harry saw the tears start to pool in Niall's eyes.

Louis must've seen them too because he fell out of rhythm and back from Harry. He instinctually took a step towards Niall, but Niall was already turned away, sheltered under Zayn's body.

"I'm gonna go," Louis told Harry. Harry reached for him, but Louis pulled out of his grip and nearly sprinted towards the coat room. Harry went back to the booth where Zayn had taken Niall to hold him with less people watching.

"What did I do?" Niall asked no one in particular.

"Nothing. Nialler, something's up with him. It's not you," Liam reassured him.

"Why don't we go find out what that is exactly," Harry asked, "I'm honestly worried."

The others agreed and called the car around before heading back to their flat. Zayn kept a tight hold on the now somber Irishman while Liam held Harry's restless hand in his. Once they pulled up they shuffled in the elevator and up to their suite. The apartment was quiet and dark when the elevator opened into the living room.

They shuffled down the hall towards their shared bedrooms until they heard muffled sobs. Harry opened the door to Louis' room and saw a small bundle of covers shaking slightly under the moonlight.

"Lou?"

The bundle sprang up in surprise. "Haz? Why'd you come home?"

"We all did," Harry informed him as all four lads filtered into Louis' room. "Because we're worried and we want to know what's wrong."

Louis wiped at his nose and hid his face in his knees. "I'm so sorry," he apologized to the blankets.

"It's okay, Lou," Liam assured him.

"No, Niall," Louis looked up at the younger boy, "I'm so sorry I made you cry. I wanted to dance with you I swear."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because it hurts too much." Louis' voice cracked on the last couple words.

Niall surged forward and pulled Louis to him, "Why, Loubear? What happened?"

Louis leaned into Niall's neck and pressed his lips gently to the slope off his Adam's apple. "I miss you so much."

"I'm right here."

"Not for long."

Liam came and sat down on the other side of Louis, "What's going on, Lou?"

Louis sat up straighter and gulped down the lump in his throat. "We're not normal."

Zayn scoffed, "Yeah, mate, we know."

Louis shook his head, "This," Louis motioned between them all, "isn't normal. We can't stay like this forever. I'm tired of lying. Of hiding," he huffed, "I want to come out."

Niall actually gasped, but Zayn and Liam kept serious faces, while Harry was smiling wide. Louis looked to each of them before continuing, "And your faces right now is why I'm acting like this. Harry is the only one that looks remotely open to that idea and there's no way we could all come out together without ruining our lives," Louis started gesturing widely now, trying to understand himself, "I want to come out, but I figured I could only come out with one of you, and it hurts so much thinking about letting you guys go so I've been trying to detach myself little by little so when I broke it off it didn't hurt so bad.

I thought if I picked Harry and held tight to him I wouldn't need you guys," He looked from Niall to Liam to Zayn with red eyes then back to his lap, "But I was wrong. It hurts so bad without you. I love you, Harry, but I love them too, and I haven't felt Niall's fingers in weeks, or Liam's shoulders, or Zayn's chest. I hate this. And it's not working. And it hurts. And I'm sorry."

Louis was sobbing now, chest racked with each inhale. All four boys cuddled around him with soothing touches and cooing voices.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Liam asked.

"I thought it would be easier."

"We thought you didn't want us anymore."

Louis shook his head, "I do. I want you so bad, it physically hurts. I can't sleep a lot. My chests burns when I stop myself from touching one of you."

"Then don't," Niall answered.

Louis huffed a sad laugh, "I don't know what to do."

"We can talk about your coming out tomorrow, but tonight," Zayn explained, "I haven't been inside you in way too long," and kissed Louis' forehead, "Please, Lou, please make love with me."

Louis flushed deep red like he always did when the boys got mushy. "You don't hate me?"

"We could never," Harry confirmed.

Niall leaned in and pressed slow, open-mouthed kisses to Louis' neck, to which he leaned his head back immediately for more. "Ni," Louis breathed in relief. Zayn's hands found Louis' jeans quickly and got them undone before tucking the tips of his fingers under the waistband and playing at the spatter of hair on his pelvis. Louis groaned lazily and squeezed his eyes shut.

Harry pulled the collar of Louis' shirt over and mouthed at his collarbones and over his scripted What in between them. Liam moved behind Louis and gripped his small waist in his possessive hands while his nosed into Louis' hair. "Want you so bad, Loulou."

Louis' hand flew back to cup the back of Liam's neck as he head fell on his shoulder. "Yes, Li."

Liam pushed his shirt up his torso until it met Harry' lips where they sucked a love bite into his skin. Harry pulled back after a quick bite and helped Liam stripped the clothing before latching back onto him, his nipple this time. Louis keened and arched into Harry's mouth. Zayn had his trousers and pants halfway down his bum and was tugging until Niall noticed and lifted Louis up from the bed enough for Zayn to strip him of the rest of his coverings.

"Li, scoot back so he can lay on you," Niall instructed. Liam nodded and sat back against the headboard and pulled Louis down to him. Like a magnet, the rest of the boys shifted with them, not letting their lips and hands get more than a couple inches from their pixie lover. Louis laid back comfortably between Liam's legs, head inches from his half-hard cock in his jeans.

Louis licked his lips at the proximity and kissed his cloth-clad thigh. Liam noticed and sighed, "Soon, baby. First we wanna get you so hard." Louis seemed to agree with that plan because he hummed and wiggled under their grips. Zayn took Louis at his base and ran his hands excruciatingly slow up to his tip while he looked at Harry. "Haz?" Harry looked up from where he was kissing Louis' stomach. "Want him?" Zayn asked and tilted Louis' semi towards Harry's face.

Harry smiled wide at the offer and nodded. He closed his lips around Louis' head while Zayn's hand moved back to grip his base. Harry's large hand splayed across his stomach while he suckled on Louis' tip. Louis huffed shorts breaths, trying to control his need to buck up. Liam licked both his thumbs and brought them down to toy at Louis nipples.

Niall moaned at the sight before him before surging forward and taking Louis' lips on his. Their tongues wrestled until Louis gave up and let Niall push around his mouth as he pleased. Harry was going lower now, meeting Zayn's hand in the middle. They worked in tandem to push Louis closer.

Then Zayn pulled his hand away and pulled Harry off by his hair. Harry moaned and sat up. Zayn looked down at a flushed, glassy-eyed Louis with a pleased smile. "Gonna eat you out," Zayn informed him while he pushed his legs apart. Louis nodded enthusiastically and groaned as he bent his legs open wide. "Haz and Niall are gonna put their mouths on your pretty cock," Zayn continued as a single finger trailed teasing from base to tip, "while you suck Liam off. I know how much you love Liam's big prick."

Louis whined and nosed at Liam's bulge with delight. "Yeah."

Liam petted Louis hair before undoing his pants and jeans and shimming them down from under them. Louis nuzzled closer and kissed along Liam hard length. Liam hummed his approval, "Love it, babe." Louis flicked his tongue out and swiped it back and forth along the underside of his dick. The angle made it hard for Louis to do much without help so he waited for Liam to guide his head to Louis' lips before taking him in.

Zayn ducked down and pulled Louis ass cheeks apart so he could lick a long, slow strip from his hole to his balls, where he met with Harry and Niall's faces working on either side of Louis' leaking shaft. They mouthed up and down the length, lips brushing against each other's as they passed.

Zayn moved back down and set his lips against Louis' right rim. He was puckered tight against Zayn's mouth. Since he'd only been with Harry he probably hadn't bottomed in a while and the thought made Zayn dizzy with need. He pushed his tongue in circles harder and harder until Louis' tight ring gave way and allowed Zayn inside.

"Zayn," Louis pulled off Liam and whined, "Yes, Zee."

Liam must've been thinking the same thing as Zayn because with a tight grip on Louis' hair he said, "Haven't been filled in so long have you? Haz always bottoms so you haven't been fucked in weeks." The rest of the boys shared a moan while Louis pushed back and forth between Zayn's and Niall and Harry's mouths.

Liam led him back to his cock and Louis sucked him in greedily. Louis' mind was going hazy with so many sensations. He was barreling quickly towards his release and whined loudly to warn the others. They all knew that noise and pulled back at once, shocking Louis' body with the difference and making him buck into the air for friction.

Zayn pinned his hips down while Louis took more of Liam in his mouth. He moaned around Liam's length, pleading for more. Liam let his head fall back on the headboard while his fingers scratched at Louis' scalp.

"Haz, reach for the lube will ya?" Zayn requested. Harry nodded and plucked a tube from the bedside table before tossing it to Zayn and coming back to kiss all over Louis' chest.

"Louloulou," Harry chanted softly, "Love you so much."

Louis hummed his agreement and swallowed around Liam's head in his throat, tasting his precome, before wrapping a hand blindly around Harry's hard on. Harry mewled and bit down softly on Louis' nipple.

Zayn had two fingers slick and teasing Louis' puckered skin before slipping one of them inside him. Louis' mouth sucked harder around Liam in response, making Liam shudder and shoot down Louis' throat. Louis swallowed as best he could and then licked up what dribbled down his chin.

His hand sped up around Harry once he got his wits about him and had the emerald-eyed lad thrusting into his fist. Louis rested his head at the curve on Liam's hip and looked between all his boys. He couldn't imagine why he ever thought he could give this up.

"Lou, close," Harry warned. Louis pushed his thumb across Harry's leaking slit and Harry spurt over his hand as his body curled in on itself with pleasure.

Zayn was playing two fingers inside Louis' hole, stretching him open. Louis rocked back on his fingers desperately. "Zee, come on, please fuck me." Then he looked over and realized how quiet Niall had been. He found him sitting mostly still with only a light hand around himself, stroking leisurely. "Ni, come here."

Niall eagerly scooted closer and leaned forward at Louis' beckon. Louis pulled him down by his shoulder and slid his hand into his dyed-blond hair to whisper, "I'm so sorry. I've always loved you. I will always love you. No matter, ugh fuck, what happens I love you."

Niall was nodding and kissing his cheek before he finished, "Love you, Lou."

Louis pulled him in for a filthy kiss, teeth clanging and tongues pressing. "Ride me," Louis requested against his lips.

Niall moaned into his mouth and nodded. "Open me up?"

Louis nodded back and reached around Niall for the lube Zayn laid somewhere on the bed. Harry saw what he was reaching for and placed it in his grabby hand. Louis sent a quick smile as thanks and slicked up three fingers. He was just closing the bottle when Zayn pressed against his spot inside him and made him squeeze a bunch out over his torso.

"Jesus, Zayn. Right there."

Niall straddled him, giggling at the mess, but just ran his hand through it and wrapped his fingers around Louis. He stroked him just barely enough to make him moan, but not enough to make him come. Louis reached around and slid his wet fingers down Niall's crack to his entrance. He pushed a finger in the same time Zayn pulled his fingers out, making Louis whine.

Liam was idly rubbing his fingertips over Louis' face and neck, tracing his lips and cheekbones. Louis spared him a glance and saw pure adoration in his hazy eyes. Louis leaned his head over and kissed where Liam's hand was running down his neck. "Love you," he mumbled, to which Liam beamed and scratched his scalp gently.

Harry was curled in Liam's side now and kissed his cheek before adding, "Told you."

Louis tried not to think about the that Liam may have been doubting that fact until then and focused back on his finger inside Niall, who was wiggling back for more. Louis pressed in further and only pumped it a couple times before adding another and scissoring him open.

Zayn kissed down Niall's back as he pulled Louis' legs wider and pushed inside. Louis arched off the bed and shoved his fingers deep inside Niall's ass. "Ugh, fuck. So good."

Niall leaned down and laid his chest to Louis' and played his lips over Louis' ear. "Love your face when you're full. Been too long, Lou."

Louis nodded his assent and added another finger, making Niall bite down on his earlobe and rock between his hand and their hard cocks. "I'm ready, babe. Fuck me." Louis hummed and nodded while he pulled his fingers out and let Niall line him up. He watched Niall's face as he sat back on his cock, filling his hole with Louis' thick length.

Zayn pushed in again the same time Niall pushed down, sending Louis' mind through a whirlwind. "God, shit, guys. Not gonna last."

Harry laughed quietly, "Not having us all has made you a minute man, Lou."

Louis somehow found the clarity to throw a middle finger up and say, "I'd like to see you last with these two."

Niall and Zayn shared a chuckled as they synchronized their movements, Niall sitting down hard on Louis when Zayn pulled out and then vice versa. Louis was fisting the sheets in one hand and Harry's smooth thigh in the other. Liam's hands were still exploring Louis' upper body like he might disappear if he didn't physical touch him. Niall was making tiny noises each time he bottomed out. And Zayn was grunting with every shove into Louis' quivering hole.

Louis' breathing was ripped from his chest and his skin felt too hot. He couldn't form thoughts, much less sentences, so all he could say was incoherent ramblings about how good they all felt and how close he was.

Niall sat down hard and stayed there, rotating his hips to keep Louis' head brushing his sweet spot until he groaned and dug his nails into Louis' chest and came across their stomachs. Louis' mind went blank at how tight Niall was around him and he shot inside him with a scream. Zayn laid over Niall and pistoned furiously into Louis, bringing him through his orgasm and into the numb pleasure-pain of oversensitivity. When Zayn came inside Louis and he felt the warm splash of his come Louis' eyes fell shut and his mind went black.

When he came to he was in the middle of a boyband sandwich, clean and warm under the blankets while the TV muttered in the background. The others were having a conversation so Louis kept his eyes closed and listened.

"If it's what he really wants," Louis knew Zayn's voice.

"He picked Harry. Without even asking us. It's obvious who he wants," Liam's worried voice filtered to his ears.

"No, it's obvious who's the most gay," Niall teased.

"Most gay?" Harry whisper-yelled, "I wasn't the one with a cock up my arse tonight!"

"Tonight," Zayn scoffed.

Louis heard a light smack of skin and figured Harry had showed the extent of his violent side with a playful hit.

"Really though, he did pick you Hazza. Have we already lost Louis?" Niall questioned, and Louis could've died from the sadness in his voice.

"No," Harry affirmed, "No, he loves you. He's just scared. He didn't pick me because he loves me more. It was just the easy choice."

Louis couldn't just lay there anymore so he curled his arms around the person in front of him, Liam he thinks, and said. "I choose all of you. I'm sorry I was such an idiot. I'd rather stay in the closet and keep you all then come out and loose even one of you."

He finally opened his eyes and saw Liam looking at him with soft eyes and a weary smile. He sat up and all the boy's eyes followed him. He ran a hand through his hair. "I do love you, Harry," he put a hand towards him, "but I don't love any of you guys less," he motioned to the rest of them. "Forget what I said. I don't choose Haz. I choose us."

Zayn wrapped his arms around Louis' waist from behind and pulled him back to the bed. "We'll talk about coming out, but I'm so glad you're back. I missed you."

Louis wiggled back into his embrace, "I love you lads."

They all murmured their agreement and tangled up in a mass of boyfriends. One relationship, one band, one love.