Chapter 17

Mavis Estrella

I felt both so shameless and shameful as I lay on the bed with Kaiden. Nakatutok ang mga mata niya sa magkahawak naming mga kamay habang may 'di maipaliwanag na emosyon sa kanyang mga mata. Maiintindihan ko kung sasabihin niyang kasalanan ko lahat ng nangyari. I'd take his harsh words of me being a slut who lured him in but he never told me anything, other than not forcing me to get back together with him and how he loved to fuck me.

Shit.

How many times did we do it already? I can't remember how much I came together with him. I couldn't even remember if I'm safe these days. Hindi ko naman kasi tinitingnan ang ovulation period ko.

If I get pregnant...

Natakot ako sa mangyayari.

Kaiden's hand around mine tightened before he raised my white knuckles towards his lips to give my skin butterfly kisses.

Uminit ang pisngi ko sa nakikita.

Get it together, Mavis!

"I just want to say that I have no girlfriend, no fiancee, no wife, no kids and I'm very much available but only to you." Muntik ko nang takpan ang bibig niya dahil sa pinagsasabi nito. Biglaan na lang kasi itong nagsasalita nang ganyan. His dark eyes found mine and he smiled. "Kaya huwag kang mag-alala kung mabuntis man kita. Wala akong sabit. Pananagutan kita. Susundin ko lahat ng gusto mong mangyari." I bit my lips to stop myself from laughing at his seriousness. Klarong pinag-iisipan talaga nito ang speech nito ngayon. "Kung gusto mo ay paimbestigahan mo pa ako para malaman kung nagsisinungaling ako. Wala ring hahabol sa akin kaya ayos na ayos. Wala kang proproblemahin. Who would chase an asshole like me? Pinagsasabay ko ang mga naging girlfriend ko noon. I've kissed a lot of lips but I only had sex with you. My heart has always belonged to you. If ever it'll be a question on loyalty and affirmation, I wouldn't stop on telling you how much I love you. You can track me anytime anywhere. You can call me anytime of the day to know if I'm cheating on you. You can have a 24-hour surveillance around the people I meet. You can stalk me. You can put me on a lie detector test. You can ask for me to be tested for STD. Hindi issue sa'kin ang mga yun, Mave basta ay mapanatag ka lang."

Hearing this from his lips made me know how much I'd bother him if ever we get together again. Our relationship sounded toxic and tiring. This is just how fucked up I am. I wouldn't be so sure if he could take it all in the future.

The doubt would slowly kill him like what it did to me.

Maaaring nasasabi niya lang ito ngayon dahil wala siyang problemang kinakaharap. Baka ay nasobrahan lang siya sa sarap ng sex na nangyari.

I admit it's so good. I couldn't even believe that it's his first time having sex at his healthy young age. Maiintindihan ko kung nakailang babae na siya sa kama dahil lalaki siya at may pangangailangan.

"How'd you survive being celibate?" I asked him. Nagulat ito sa tanong ko at namula bago napatikhim. Sa haba kasi ng sinabi niya sa akin ay ito ang naging paraan ko ng pagsagot. What can I do? It is kinda weird knowing he first did the deed with me, knowing he cheated on me before just for lust. "What?"

"H-Hindi ako tinitigasan."

"What?"

Nahihiya itong umiwas ng tingin.

"Kapag hinahalikan ko at hinahawakan ang ibang babae, hindi ako tinitigasan." I stared at him in shock. "Dahil naaalala ko kung anong ginawa ko sa'yo, sa atin." I blinked a few times as I saw tears form on his eyes. Tumingin si Kaiden sa akin at malungkot na nagsalita. "God knows how much I regretted what I did. A simple sorry, such simple words can't take away the pain. Hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko, Mave. Now, I want not just your body and your heart but also everything about you, but I know I've hurt you." He closed his eyes and opened them. He said painfully, "And I know, I'm not the same man I once was and you have also changed. Maraming beses akong nagkamali. Maraming beses ka nang nasaktan. We can't trust each other again because we lost trust on ourselves first, Mave. If only I talked to you about my grievances back then... If only—"

"It's too late," I said. It has been so long. I've waited for him and he never came. I admit though that he deserves someone better, the best woman for him. Kailangan niya ng babaeng magtitiwala sa kanya.

Hindi ako na iba ang mga paniniwala. For now, I can't be that woman. I don't even know if I'll ever be.

"It will only be too late if I won't fight for you this time." Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa kaseryosohan ng kanyang boses. Hindi ako makapaniwalang tumitig sa kanyang maitim na mga mata. Walang halong pagbibiro roon kaya bumundol ang kaba sa dibdib ko.

"W-What do you mean?"

Imbes na sumagot ay pumaibabaw ito sa akin at tumitig nang maigi sa aking mukha bago sinakop ang bibig ko. His lips crashed into mine, sending shivers down my spine as my eyes fluttered close. His tongue traced the inside of my lips, slightly flicking it to tease my mouth and biting harshly as if he wanted to devour them.

Napaungol ako sa magkahalong sakit at sarap sa kanyang mapagparusang halik. I fisted his hair with my hand and grabbed his nape with the other. Halos kapusin ako ng hininga nang mas sumarap ang paghalik ni Kaiden. Our salivas mixed and trickled down my jaw because of how messy it got. His lips went down to my neck, leaving small kisses while sucking my skin.

Namumungay ang aking mga mata nang binuka ko ito at nakita siyang humihingal na tumititig sa akin. My hands went to his handsome face and traced his prominent jaw. His eyes were filled with so much excitement.

"Make love to me." I froze. "Just this once, baby. Susulitin kong akin ka ngayon."

That's right. I'm just being like this because of that aphrodisiac. While he's the only one who could satisfy me, why can't I give this to him? We've had sex a lot of times already.

Hindi. It's not sex but lovemaking. Slow, passionate, full of love... There's a difference. Nanigas ang buong katawan ko sa naiisip.

I don't like it. I'd feel vulnerable.

Naitulak ko si Kaiden habang hindi ko mapigilang mapayakap sa sarili.

"No."

His eyes flashed and there wasn't disappointment there but sadness. I clearly knew what it meant so I turned around and pulled the sheets over me.

Anything but love.

Once can be too much.

I felt his arm snake around my waist. He put the other under my head then he sighed.

"Sorry," mahina niyang bulong at ramdam ko ang sakit sa pagkakasabi niya niyon.

I placed my hand over his and gripped its roughness. Narinig ko siyang mapasinghap pero hindi ko na iyon pinansin at hinawakan lang ang kanyang kamay hanggang sa makatulog ako.

"Seriously," he murmured. "You're really a bundle of contradictions."

—

It was my third day inside Kaiden's hotel room. Walang nangyari sa amin simula nang makatulog ako kagabi. Nagising lang itong nakasimangot kaya nagtaka ako.

He looked like he was going to kill someone with how he cursed at the frying pan. Tumilamsik ang iilang mantika papunta sa kanya nang nilunod niya ang mga chicken wings doon.

"Fuck this!" sigaw nito nang matalsikan ang kanyang braso. Tinititigan ko lang ito habang pinipilit isipin kung ganoon na ba kasakit ang mantika dahil reklamo siya nang reklamo.

"Why are you cooking anyway?" I asked him as I got more and more weirded out at how he looked so irritated while cooking.

"Gusto ko lang," masungit nitong sabi habang hindi man lang ako tinitingnan kaya tumaas ang kilay ko. He was so sweet last night and now this. Masama nga ang gising nito. "Matatapos din 'to," dugtong pa niya nang mahina.

"We can just order."

Pero hindi ako nito pinansin. He grumbled something in annoyance but I didn't clearly hear what it was. It has something like Giyo so I asked.

"What about Giyo?" He froze and glanced at me with a grim expression. "Why?"

Naguguluhan ako sa inaakto nito ngayon at sa pagdamay nito ni Giyo. That guy is absolutely nice to me even though he looks like his eyes are throwing daggers all the time.

"I charged your phone and he has been calling you since midnight."

"What?" I furrowed my brows. "Why would he do that? Did you answer him?"

"No, I don't want to pry," he hissed and went back to battling the food he's cooking. Now I already have an idea why he looks so irritated.

Nagseselos ba ito?

"Wala kaming relasyon," I told him so he glanced at me in surprise.

"H-Hindi ko naman tinatanong." Nautal pa ito at nakita kong mamula ang kanyang leeg kaya napailing na lang ako. Since when did he become the jealous type of boyfrie—no, he's already my ex now but why am I reassuring him?

"I already told you that I'm not dating anyone right now," I said, almost quietly. Pinatay na nito ang stove at nilapag ang tongs sa plato. Tumitig ito sa akin na para bang may gusto siyang sabihin. "What is it?" untag ko na lang dahil nagdadalawang-isip ito.

"H-How about Amon?"

What? I gaped at him and then bit my lips to stop myself from laughing.

I seriously can't believe him. Imbes na mainis na nagtatanong siya kahit ilang beses niya na akong inangkin, mas natawa ako sa pagseselos niya sa baliw kong kapatid.

Amon definitely wanted this type of reaction.

"He's my brother, half-brother to be exact." Sinabi ko na sa kanya ang totoo dahil mukhang hindi siya makakatulog nang maayos kapag hindi ko siya sasagutin.

"H-Ha?"

"He's my father's son from another woman." Unti-unting lumamig ang pakiramdam ko sa naaalala. My Mom and Dad dying... I flinched. "Ayoko nang pag-usap—ah!"

My hand found my mouth when he was already behind me. His fingers were slowly sliding in the boxers I wore. Impit akong napadaing nang humagod ang mga iyon sa bukana ng aking pagkababae.

My thoughts flew out of the window because of the heat that's slowly spreading, filling my insides. Namasa na ako sa kaunting haplos na iyon.

His fingers moved and began scissoring my cunt so I leaned on the kitchen counter and stuck up my ass to push his warm hand towards my wetness. I blinked at my actions.

Para bang sanay na sanay na akong magpaubaya sa kanyang bawat haplos gayong tatlong araw pa kaming—

"Oh fuck, you're already wet," bulong nito habang nararamdaman ko ang naninigas niyang alagang kumikiskis sa aking pang-upo. Tanging malaking long-sleeved shirt lang niya at boxers ang suot ko kaya nang ibinaba niya ang suot ko pang-ibaba, kaagad natagpuan ng kanyang nakalabas nang kahabaan ang aking perlas.

"W-What are you doing?" saway ko rito. Nanginginig na ako sa nararamdaman dahil ito ang unang beses siya ang nag-initiate ng mangyayari.

"You have to ask that?" anito at kumagat sa aking balikat bago dahan-dahang ipinasok ang malaki niyang pagkalalaki sa akin. "I'm so turned on right now while you're only wearing my clothes. And I'm fucking happy that you're here with me, baby."

He thrusted in and out of me and moved his cock in a torturous circling motion inside my dripping pussy. His member slid in and out so I tried clawing on the kitchen island to hold something. Hindi ko kaya ang sarap ng kanyang pag-indayog sa aking likod na para bang gigil na gigil siya sa akin.

Napaungol ako nang hilain niya ako paupo sa isang silya. I clamped both my legs together so we moaned at how tight it felt. He was panting like a mad man while I was moaning in bliss.

His huge hands palmed my breasts and he kneaded and squeezed while cursing under his breath. Sagad na sagad ang kanyang kahabaan kaya pakiramdam kong punong-puno ako.

He was busy tugging my nipples over the fabric so I frustratedly got up and slowly removed his cock out of me. I faced him as he was sitting there slackjawed. Nakahiwalay ang kanyang mga hita habang tayong-tayo ang kanyang kargada.

"Ayaw mo?" he asked, disbelieving. Hindi ko ito sinagot. Sa halip ay pumaibabaw ako sa kanya at hinawakan ang kanyang nag-iigting na alaga at patalbog na inupuan ito. "Tanginaaa!" Malakas niyang mura nang maramdaman ang kumikibot kong pagkababae. I held on his shoulders and started moving up and down. It felt so good as I watched his face contort in shock, pain, and pleasure when I bounced on top of him. "Fuck Mave! Fuck, so good!"

I exploded with widened eyes as I realized I came just by watching his expressions. Namumula ang aking pisngi habang gumiling sa kanyang ibabaw. I could feel my liquid leak out of my pussy as I moaned in satisfaction.

Nagtaas-baba ang kanyang matigas na dibdib habang hindi makapaniwalang tumitig sa akin. Humihingal ko rin siyang tinitigan at hinalikan. I licked his open lips and pushed my tongue in. Sinalubong naman ako ng kanyang dila at hinalikan ako nang puno ng intensidad.

His hands planted themselves on my ass and and squeezed before he guided me to ride him fast. My naked ass slapped with his still clothed thighs and he gritted his teeth. Pawis na pawis na ito sa suot na white shirt kahit malamig naman ang umaga.

Some strands of his hair were sticking on his forehead so I unconsciously raked his hair up and bit my lips.

Gwapong-gwapo ito habang tumititig sa akin. He looked so hot with his parted lips and loose smile. He abruptly stood up so I held on him tighter while I wrapped my legs around his waist for the nth time.

Para akong magaang papel na nagtaas-baba sa kanyang kahabaan habang nakatayo lang siya at enjoy na enjoy sa aking pag-ungol. Hindi pa ito nakuntento at pahaklit na hinila ang aking suot kaya nagliparan ang mga butones ng shirt.

My bouncing breasts were already on full view in front of his face so he pushed me higher and claimed my senseitive tits with his warm mouth. Sumipsip siya roon kaya nasabunutan ko siya sa sarap at nahigit papalapit sa akin. I felt his tongue around my peaks swirling teasingly while he bit my nipples with his teeth.

"Kaiden..." I cried when he drove me crazier with each passing second. Hiniga na ako nito sa mesa ng kusina habang naglalaglagan ang mga gamit sa sahig. I even heard some crashing sounds but I was too occupied with his warm thick cock. "Hahh ahh..." He met my hips with his thrusts and I gazed at him with tears on my eyes. "Please..."

"Yes?" he asked with a lopsided smile.

Hindi na ako nag-atubili pa.

"Fuck me harder."

His eyes glinted with so much desire at my straightforward answer.

"Then scream my name," utos nito at mabilis na umulos habang halos umikot ang utak ko sa kanyang paggalaw. Muntik na akong mauntog sa pader kaya hinila ako ni Kaiden payakap sa kanya habang hindi tumitigil sa pag-ulos. "My name, Mave," hingal nito habang may panggigigil sa kanyang boses. "Scream my name." And his cock plunged in and out while he hit my sweet spot with so much intensity.

"Kaiden!" His huge length inside me throbbed and grew larger at how I cried out his name. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. "Baby..."

"Fuck," he cursed and raised both my legs to open up and receive him even more. The heels of my feet went to his ass as I pulled him to dig deeper inside me. My orgasm arrived, flooding my insides. I came without any warning and coated his moving cock. "Fuckk Mavis!"

Dumulas pa ang loob ko dahil doon habang napapaungol ako nang mahina. I was still cumming when his own cum shoot inside me, his pelvis hitting my ass so hard as I screamed his name again. He drilled harder rougher. Dumiin ang kanyang kamay sa aking bewang at ibinabad sa aking naglalawang pagkababae ang kanyang kahabaan bago mahinang umatras at mariing umulos.

My body went limp and my arms around his neck loosened.

I almost fell as I lost all my strength from the rough and fast sex that happened between us but he held me so tightly between his large arms and softly murmured.

"I got you." My eyes found his and he gave me a quick kiss before he smiled. "I did you good, didn't I?"

Nanghihina akong napapalo sa kanyang dibdib at unti-unting nakatulog.

Yes, he did me really really good.