Chapter 12

Mavis Estrella

When I saw both the fire and excitement in his eyes, I paused.

Does he feel this way with all the other women he dated before? He told me he only gets turned on by me but I couldn't stop thinking of him lying.

Maybe, he's just being like this to get back at me. Maybe, he's doing this to hurt me again. Maybe, he already has a girlfriend and he wants me to cheat with him.

"Mave?" taka niyang tanong sa paninitig ko. May pamilyar na pag-aalala na roon na hinanap ko ng iilang taon.

I waited but he never came.

It was all my fault, after all.

The pitter and patter from the rain caught my attention then. The sound, the rhythm, the feeling of confusion was all too familiar that I covered my ears with my hands.

"No."

And a memory flashed in my mind like lightning, that stormy night when I went home all alone in an empty house without Kaiden by my side. There was no one to talk to and the rain kept on going, oblivious of my loss.

The noise was piercing in my brain as if laughing at how miserable I am.

"Mavis?" My eyes trembled as I heard Kaiden's soothing voice. "Are you okay?"

I blinked a few times and finally remembered he was right in front of me. Here.

He's here.

Or maybe I'm having hallucinations again.

"Kai," usal ko at wala sa sariling yumakap sa kanya. "You're here? You're finally here?"

Nanigas siya sa sinabi ko pero naramdaman ko ang kanyang mga braso sa aking bewang.

"Mave," he muttered and I felt his hand slowly combing my hair while the other was running up and down my back smoothly. "I'm here, Mave."

Pinaikot ko sa kanyang leeg ang mga braso ko at bahagyang lumayo para tumitig sa kanya. His eyes were already glassy when I stared at him. May pangunguwestiyon doon pero tikom lang ang kanyang bibig habang malungkot na ngumingiti.

Inilapit ko ang aking mukha at dahan-dahang hinalikan siya sa labi.

"I miss you, Kai," I murmured then everything went black.

-

This is on 3rd Person's POV.

Kaiden stared at Mavis' sleeping form. Malakas na malakas ang bagyo sa labas kaya dinala niya ang natutulog na babae sa sariling hotel room. Malapit lang kasi ito sa pinaradahan nila kanina. Gusto niya pa sanang ipa-check sa ospital ang babae pero buti na lang at may resident doctor ang hotel na nandoon.

The doctor told him she's just sleeping and possibly she blacked out because of too much stress. Pinayuhan niya si Kaiden na pakainin ng marami ang babae at lumayo-layo muna sa mga nakaka-stress na bagay.

Kaiden couldn't help but think he's the most stressful person in her life right now.

"Lumayo?" he mumbled and sat on the side of the bed and tucked some loose strands behind her ear. "I'll never leave you again."

Her long lashes elegantly fanned her reddish cheeks while her slightly parted heart-shaped pink lips made Kaiden gulp occasionally.

'How could someone be so beautiful?' aniya at napangiti.

Sinigurado naman ni Kaiden na matatakpan ang hapit na suot ng babae ng isang makapal na comforter para mapigilan ang umuusbong na apoy sa kanyang loob.

To him, Mavis is a vulnerable woman but he knew she's a strong one. Kayanin ba naman nitong magpatakbo ng kompanya matapos mawalan ng mga minamahal.

"Kai..." she mumbled in her sleep so Kaiden chuckled heartily. Pati sa panaginip nito ay siya pa rin ang iniisip. "Don't leave me... Please..."

Nawala ang pagkakangiti ng lalaki at kaagas na sumampa sa kama bago tinabihan si Mavis. Inunan niya sa kanyang braso ang ulo ng babae at dali-daling niyakap ang isang braso palibot sa bewang nito nang magsimula itong umiyak habang nakapikit pa ang mga mata.

"I'm here, Mave," mahinang bulong ni Kaiden habang unti-unting dinudurog ng bawat patak ng luha ng dalaga ang kanyang puso. "I love you, Mavis."

Her light snores followed that so he just buried his face on her hair while sobbing silently. Hinigpitan niya ang pagkakayakap sa bewang ng babae at napakagatlabi para huwag makagawa ng anumang ingay habang umiiyak.

-

Mavis had a dream. It was the same one-her parents dying, Kaiden leaving, and herself staring at it all with cold teary eyes.

It wasn't new.

Lagi siyang nagigising nang maaga dahil doon at nakasanayan niya nang magpalipas ng oras kakatrabaho o di kaya'y tumanaw na lamang sa labas ng kanyang condo unit.

Bur Mavis wasn't used to feeling this warmth. She would always wake up without any sheets on her after thrashing in her sleep but when she opened her eyes, someone was there.

The sheets were around her and there he was sleeping soundly while hugging her so tightly as if he's afraid she'll disappear.

Gulat na napaigik si Mavis at napaupo sa kama. Nakalas ang kaninang nakapulupot na braso ng lalaki mula sa pagkakalingkis sa kanyang bewang dahil sa kanyang paggalaw. Naalimpungatan si Kaiden pero kaagad ding hinanap ng kamay nito ang katawan ni Mavis at umunan sa kanyang hita.

Both his thick arms wrapped around her waist. His cheek rubbed on her lap before he moaned in pleasure.

Mavis was frozen the entire time. She gazed at the large sleeping form before him and flinched feeling his warmth. She poked his cheek with her finger so he mumbled something in irritation.

"It's real," bulong ni Mavis. Akala niya ay panaginip lang ang halikan nila ni Kaiden pero heto siya at niyayakap pa ng lalaki.

'He wouldn't act like this if nothing happened-wait. Did something happen?'

Kaagad na sinuri ni Mavis ang suot at nakahinga nang maluwag nang mapagtantong tanging blazer at heels lang ang kulang sa kanyang postura. Kaiden on the other hand was wearing a loose shirt and black comfy pajamas.

Inilibot ni Mavis ang paligid at nariyalisang hindi kanya ang kwartong iyon. Neutral lang ang mga kulay at may isang brochure ng hotel sa bedside.

"What am I doing here?" she whispered in shock. Wala siyang maalala maliban na lang sa paghahalikan nila ni Kaiden sa kotse. She could clearly see herself squeezing her breasts in front of his ex-boyfriend's blazing eyes. "I lost control," she concluded. Her cheeks reddened with shame from the memory.

This was the reason why she never let Kaiden kiss her again. Kahiya-hiya man, noong menor de edad pa lang silang dalawa, sex na ang kaagad niyang iniisip matapos ang una nilang halikan.

She was ashamed of being the kind of woman who initiates the act. Akala niya ma-t-turn off si Kaiden kapag makita siyang ganoon. But looking back at how he hungrily squeezed her breasts while she coaxed him with her moans- It maade her realize that the man liked it a lot. A whole lot.

That evident bulge on his pants was proof of his desire for her.

Mavis stared at Kaiden's sleeping face. Hinawi pa niya ang iilang hibla ng buhok mula sa mukha ng lalaki para matitigan ito nang maigi. Her fingers traced his cheeks, his chin, his nose, his eyelids...

Natigilan siya dahil sa nakita. May natuyong mga luha sa gwapo nitong mukha.

"Did you cry?" mahinang tanong ni Mavis. She slowly traced his hair with her slender fingers and smiled a little when she felt the smooth black hair strands. Kaiden moaned in satisfaction so she bit her lips. "You look like a large puppy."

"Do I?" tanong ni Kaiden kaya nanlaki ang mga mata ni Mavis at akmang aalisin ang kamay sa buhok nito. Kaagad namang nahuli ng isang kamay ng lalaki ang kanyang palapulsuhan. "Keep doing that, baby."

'B-Baby...'

Awtomatikong namula si Mavis sa salita nito pero agad ding nawala nang maisip na baka napakaraming babae na ang tinawag nitong "baby". Nainis siya sa naiisip kaya mabilis niyang naitulak si Kaiden palayo bago malamig ba nagsalita.

"Don't call me that."

Napakurap nang ilang beses ang lalaki habang hindi makapaniwalang tumitig sa kanya. Pagkatapos ay nagkasalubong ang mga kilay nito.

"Why can't I call you baby?" pasinghal na anito at naupo sa kama. Mavis frowned at his irritated tone. "Because of your baby, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

Umiwas ng tingin ang lalaki at padabog na umalis sa kama.

"Tumawag si Amon baby mo. Nagsabing mag-enjoy ka raw muna hangga't busy pa siya," he hissed. Mariin na napipikit si Mavis. His brother might've changed his own ID in her phone to Amon baby. She then looked at Kaiden's stony expression. "Akala ko ba wala kang boyfriend."

"I don't need to explain everything to you," she countered with an indifferent voice.

"Bakit?! Dahil kabit mo lang ako?!" asik nito nang may halong galit.

"Anong pinagsasabi mo? Hindi kita kabit," she mumbled with a bewildered expression. Paano ba naisip ng lalaki na magiging kabit ito?

"Then what am I? Your boyfriend then?" he asked sarcastically. "I assume I'm what, the third one?"

Mavis rolled her eyes at his childish behavior.

"You're not my boyfriend."

"But we kissed!" sabi nito habang ngumunguso.

"It's not like you can only kiss your girlfriend, right?" malamig na sabi ni Mavis at napabuntong-hininga. "So let's just forget about it."

Natamaan ang lalaki sa sinabi nito. It was clear that she was talking about how he cheated on her.

"Nang ganun lang?" he exclaimed with a frustrated face.

'Akala yata nito ay magiging ayos na ang lahat?' Mavis thought.

"Yes, Kaiden. We're done here."

Naningkit ang mga mata ng lalaki matapos siyang marinig na magsalita na para bang balewala lang ang lalaki sa buhay niya. He went near her with heavy steps and halted right in front of her.

"No, let's talk."

"No. I have to go."

"But I won't let you go." Humina na ang boses nang lalaki kaya napatitig si Mavis nang mariin dito. May samu't saring emosyon sa mga mata ni Kaiden na hindi niya mapangalanan. "Mave, please... You're still attracted to me, right?"

"Eh ano naman?" she muttered.

"We still love each other, right? Then we should be together," he said while choking down a sob.

"Some people are meant to fall in love but not end up together, Kaiden." She paused. "And for the record, I don't love you anymore."

"You do," ani Kaiden pero unti-unting nawalan siya ng kompyansa sa sinasabi. Yet he went on. "Don't lie to me. I know you, Mave. You're contradicting yourself again."

"Don't you dare demand something from me," ani Mavis. "I didn't demand anything from you since the beginning, Kaiden, except our breakup. Ikaw ang nauna. Ikaw ang nanligaw. Ikaw ang nanloko. Ikaw ang umalis. Ikaw ang nang-iwan." She said with a raised brow. "And if you did know me, Kai, you would never leave because you broke me. You didn't trust my love for you." Nabasag na ang kanyang boses sa sakit na nararamdaman.

"At ako pa ang nawalan ng tiwala, Mave? You didn't even hear me explain!"

"Ano pa bang dapat mong ipaliwanag eh kitang-kita ng dalawang mata ko kung paano kayo-" She froze and bit her lips. Tumulo na ang luha sa kanyang mga mata kaya pati si Kaiden ay naestatwa. "K-Kung bakit ka pa kasi bumalik... I wouldn't feel this confused! I lived through the pain but seeing you again-" Napahagulgol si Mavis.

Naikuyom na lang ni Kaiden ang mga kamay dahil sa nakikita. He wanted to hug her again to comfort her but she'll never like it.

Not one bit.

"W-What happened to us, Mave?" he asked.

"We broke up," aniya at seryosong tinitigan ang lalaki. "That's what happened."

-

"Miss, are you okay? Ilang araw na kayong tulala."

Mavis bit her lips after hearing Liz's question. Her secretary noticed her not being her usual self these days so she finally garnered enough reason to ask. Makita ba naman si Mavis na nakatulala lang sa loob ng elevator. Ni hindi na napansin ng babae na bukas na pala ito.

"Liz, have you experienced breaking up with someone?" aniya bigla habang naglalakad sila sa hallway papunta sa kanyang opisina.

Naguluhan man ay tumango-tango ang kanyang sekretarya.

"I had some boyfriends before Pacé."

"How was it? Do you still love them?" Mavis asked curiously.

"They're a part of me, Miss but I don't love them anymore."

"Right? They're just a part of your past," pag-uulit ni Mavis, tila naninigurado sa iniisip. "Then you shouldn't love them."

"It's not (shouldn't), Miss but you just didn't love them anymore."

"Paano nangyayari iyon?" pag-uusisa pa ng boss sa kanyang naguguluhang sekretarya. "Does love just go away?"

"Miss, may boyfriend ka ba?" Liz asked in confusion.

"Wala. Just please answer my question," simpleng ani Mavis.

"Well, they said the best cure for a broken heart is loving someone new."

"That's bullshit."

"P-Pardon, Miss?" Nagulat si Liz sa biglaang pagmumura ng boss. Hindi rin siya makapaniwalang narinig niya ang iritasyon sa kadalasang malamig nitong tono.

"If people try to forget someone by finding someone new then that's bullshit," Mavis said. "Why can't they just let the first love go away before loving someone else? How can that even be?"

'Iba talaga mag-isip si Boss,' sa isip ni Liz.

"Pero Miss," ani ng sekretarya at naglakas-loob na magkwento. "They said, first love never dies. First loves don't end well, Miss Mavis so it's pretty normal to not forget them."

"What?"

"If you want to forget your first love, you can meet someone new. Maybe you can't love someone that much again but it's not bad to make someone happy and to make yourself happy again."

"What if..." Mavis trailed off and thought if she should ask. Then she decided, she should. "What if the person still loves her first love and that man loves her too but they're both hurting because of the breakup?"

'That's specific.' Ito ang naisip ni Liz pero hindi na siya nag-usisa.

"If they're willing to forgive each other then why not? But I think there are relationships that should be ended because of how painful they are." Mavis' shoulders slumped. "But there are relationships that deserve a second chance, especially when it all rooted from misunderstandings. If it's worth it, then it's worth fighting for again."

Napaisip si Mavis sa sinabi ng babae at napakagatlabi.

She regretted shouting at Kaiden when he asked for them to talk.

'Why didn't I let him explain again?'

Mavis was afraid. She feared that her decisions were wrong. She didn't know if she could trust herself after knowing how wrong she had been all this time.

"Liz, do you think it's natural for people to make mistakes?"

"Ah, yes."

"Why?"

"Because we're born imperfect, Miss Mavis."

'Right, imperfection.'

Mavis didn't want to think that it had become a natural alibi for people to make mistakes.