The harsh ray of sunshine was my morning awakening, I rustled gently on the bed - I had no desire to wake up, I wanted to stay in bed for eternity.

Last night was everything I dreamt of, I wasn't a bit disappointed, I wasn't a bit full of regret... I was actually happy, I would do anything to relive the moment again and again, to feel Brandon's hand run through my skin, to feel a thousand of his kisses all over my body, he had an effect on me that no one had, he made me feel loved, made me feel desired... In one night he made me feel a million emotions that hadn't been ignited in a while.

My hands brushed through the bed, like they were hoping to feel Brandon's presence still lingering but that wasn't the case, they had a fruitless search... He was gone, I felt hurt and I couldn't understand why, it was obvious he had to leave - this wasn't some hotel room or a bedroom, it was a hospital, and we needed to respect that. But the truth was that I was actually hoping...

Hoping that when I opened my eyes he would be the first thing I see, that he would be right beside me, it would have been an assurance that last night wasn't something conjured in my head, that it was real, every little touch, every silent words... That everything was real.

I laid silently on the bed, my eyes fixed on the white door, I couldn't wait to get on my feet again. Even if it was just for a day I missed the smell of nature and the scorching rays of the sun, after a few minutes a blonde haired nurse walked in, she was petite and had a cute look, and behind her was my mom - for the first time all the guilt came rushing back.

Instead of mourning my brother I gave myself to Brandon, instead of pushing him away I drew him closer. Few days ago I said it was a goodbye, I wanted to do nothing but erase his whole existence from my world but here I was making the situation more difficult... I can't understand myself, no one truly can, we remain the most complicated specie - mankind.

“Baby” mom rushed to hug me tight. “i'm so glad you're alright I couldn't bear to lose another”

The warmth and love of her hug was comforting, it gave me a moment of peace.
I gently released myself from her embrace, my hands placed on her arms. I wanted to look into her eyes and apologize for everything, I wanted to make everything right. She didn't look well at all, it was obvious that the events of this long painful week had drained all the color in her face, all the sunshine in her eyes and the thought of it pained me.

“... I remember everything mom, I remember what truly happened and I'm sorry, I never wanted it to happen, I never -”

“Shh” she cut me off, “It's not your fault, it was never your burden to bear” she hugged me tight once more. “No one ever wanted it to happen, but we can't dwell in it, we have to move on and I finally understand that”

Listening to her say those words gave me hope, hope that she was finally going to try, hope that we were finally going to set our life on track.

“I'm sorry for being such an unreliable mom for such a long time, I let my sorrow consume me but not anymore, am I going to work hard, I'm going to see my doctor weekly, I'm going to make all the effort I can, I'm going to change for you” she held my right cheek in her hand, it felt nice, it really felt nice.

This week a series of tragedy had happened, this week the dark cloud had covered our souls, the storm attempted to throw us off our feet, but we stood strong, we learned how to dance in the storm, we didn't give it the satisfaction of destroying our lives... Dark moments come, they try to throw us off balance, to break us, to tear us apart but never give them the satisfaction... Stand firm, fight the battle, never run away, never look back, only you can be the commander of your battle, cause even in the dark moments we still found a reason to smile, we still found a reason to live, don't dwell on the dark side, search for the light...

The tragedies brought me closer to my mom, the tragedies made me understand the true meaning of friendship and forgiveness, the tragedies made me understand that dark moments will come but it's our duty to over come them, the tragedies finally made me understand who my heart truly belongs to.

The door opened once more and this time Casper and Ella walked in, I was glad to see them, I wanted to talk to Casper more than anything, I couldn't hurt him anymore, I couldn't let him live on a false hope that we could ever be together.

“Good morning ma'am” they greeted mom, and she responded with a soft nod.

“I'm sure you guys would like to talk alone” mom smiled and got on her feet to take her leave.

After the door had been shot behind her, Ella rushed over to give me a big hug, it felt so nice and loving.

“I'm glad you're alright” she whispered into my ears.

“Me too Ella... Me too” I stroked her hair gently. And then my eyes trailed to Casper, he flashed me a warm smile but I could sense the hurt in the smile, it was like he knew what had taken place, it was like he arrived here this morning expecting the worst and that made me feel even more reluctant to hurt him.

“Can you give us a minute Ella?”

“Of course” she smiled and walked out of the room, giving Casper a soft pat on her way out.

And even when it was just us both in the room the strange air still hadn't left, the awkward silence still hadn't been broken and the frightful distance between us hadn't been closed.

“Are you not even going to tell me hi? Not even a hug?” I tried to lighten up the atmosphere but it was just another failed attempt.

“No, I prefer to keep the distance” he answered coldly, I didn't like this side of him, I didn't want him to go back to being cold and harsh.

“What's wrong?” I asked, this time I really couldn't understand why he was acting this way.

“Can you do something for me?” he asked and I nodded immediately, I would do anything that would make him stop acting this way towards me.

“I want you to answer three questions”

“Do you hate me?”

“No” I answered, I found the question kind of awkward, he knew I had a crush on him, how Could I possibly hate someone I had been dying for since the time of man?

“Then why do you hurt me?”

“I've never attempted to hurt you”

“But you do” Now my attention had been drawn in. Now I didn't want to hold anything back.

“You've hurt me too... You've broken me too, I have done nothing but love you and all you do is resent me, I get the fact now, I get the reason why but it doesn't change anything. I'm human too, I have emotions too, I feel what you feel and all those times you were with Kelly and all those times I tried so hard to get your attention I couldn't help it... I fell for someone else.”

His eyes never left mine, they were piercing in deep... Too deep that I could see the fire burning deep.

“Why Brandon?!”

“Why not Brandon?!” I fired back angrily.

“He's my fucking best friend!”

“And Kelly was mine too” I shot back.

I had never seen this side of him before, this aggression he was exhibiting so well. For a moment it made me fear him... Fear what he was capable of doing.

“I love you Paige, I'm finally here, I'm finally ready to give you everything and you go around fucking my best friend!” he blurted everything out angrily, and I was glad he did cause it finally clarified a fact that had been running through my head - Casper had seen us last night... Brandon and I.

“What if it's too late, what if I dedicated my whole life to you and now that you're finally ready to reciprocate it, it's too late. Cause that's what's happening Casper... I can't believe I'm saying this but it's too late for us, too late for you and I, Brandon's the one I love, the one I want to spend my eternity with”

“Then you shouldn't have let Kelly die”
The words were like spears to my chest,
“It's like she died in vain, you should have let her love me, and you should let me love her”

I stood on my feet and drew closer to Casper, I was scared, I was frightened but I summoned the courage to hold his arms,

“I'm sorry Casper, am deeply sorry... I never wanted any of this to happen, I never wanted to hurt you and Kelly. You of all people know I knew nothing about this.”

He stared silently at me for a while like a deranged psycho and then he spoke.

“You're right it's not your fault, it was never your fault and I know exactly who to blame” he rushed out of the room and I knew he was rushing to only one possible place - Brandon's room.

I ran as fast as I could, trying to catch up with Casper but by the time I arrived they were already throwing blows at each other.

“Casper! Brandon!” Stop it I screamed.
Casper held back no punches, he was mad, he was furious and for the first time I was really scared of him, he was unleashing a side of him I never knew was locked in deep.

“You ruined my life! You took everything away from me! You always do that! You say we are best friends and you were screwing with the girl I love!” Casper screamed and continued to punch Brandon several times, even with all the punches Brandon couldn't bear to hurt him back, he didn't even try once to defend himself. “I'm truly sorry bro” that was all he kept on repeating.

“Help!” I screamed as loud as I could until the security team arrived, even mom and Ella had arrived at the scene too. I watched as they tried to separate them, Brandon was bleeding, bleeding bad from his head and lips, it was unimaginable to all that Casper could be this savage.

“I hate you Brandon! I hate you! Don't let me ever see you again, I never want to see you!” Casper cried, he actually cried, cried like a baby that had just been born.

“I took you like a brother but you're worse than the devil!” Casper screamed again, and then he finally said something that slapped me over and over again, something that I wished he had never uttered, something that ignited my own flames too.

“How can you allow Paige fall in love with a dying man.”

A/N: Thank you to everyone supporting this book, your motivation and love is what is keeping me going I hope with your help we can get this book to the top one day... Here's too another chapter, thank you ☺