Two years ago

My fingers had been shivering since this morning, trembling like a desperate school girl wondering if Casper had already seen the letter in his locker.

The school dance was in two days times and I finally summoned the courage to ask him to the dance, maybe not in person but at least I had dropped him a note — he was probably reading it right now and I had no idea what to expect… what if he doesn’t like me? What if I become the laughingstock of the whole school? I had been so scared that I had locked myself in the girls room until school was over or at least until I get my response but I don’t think I’ll be getting my response soon especially when I’ve been sitting on a toilet seat for hours.

“Com’on Paige you need to come out” Kelly had been pleading to me for hours, banging at the door, but I was too scared to let her in, what if she already got the reply, what if I become oh ha in playful kiss, and he marks the letter and I get f9, I could think of a thousand of negative thoughts and not one single positive thought.

“Paige if you don’t open this door then am going to break it down” Kelly threatened and in my financial state I didn’t have enough money for a good college, I definitely wouldn’t be able to pay for a broken door either, so I gently unlocked the lock and crept out the door peering behind the door to see if any other person was in.

“Finally” Kelly exclaimed, “I thought you were never coming out” she gave me a warm tender hug. “Don’t worry am 100% sure he likes you too, so raise you’re your head up, lift your chin up and show the world how confident you are” and with those words of encouragement Kelly lead me out of the door and for the first time I felt a lot better, she made me feel special enough and I loved her for that, she was one of the best thing that ever happened to me, and I was glad she was always there for me cause that’s what we were — best friends.

*****

Casper and I had been on the cinema bench for hours, talking and laughing. I was so happy with him, he wasn’t the cold-hearted douche I had always thought he was, he was actually sweet and sensitive, and he also had a charming sense of humor, I wondered why I had never noticed this side of him, but suddenly being so happy with him gave me a guilty pain in my chest, the thought of Brandon had once again come to my mind and I couldn’t deny it, that in all does trauma and adventures I had also fallen for him too — if only Casper had told me he liked me, that he loved me, if only he had replied by letter two years ago then maybe I wouldn’t be stuck so deep in this mess, maybe I wouldn’t have slowly let Brandon in but then the question began to hit me over and over again, why didn’t he? And then when it began to eat me to the very last bit I had to ask.

“I did” he answered.
“No you didn’t” I answered with a confused expression on my face, if he had done I would have known if he did I wouldn’t have been so miserable during the school dance.

“Am serious, am 100% sure I did, I even gave it to Kelly” he defended and then I realized the loop hole, everything began to come in place.

You wouldn’t be defending her if you knew what she had done, Jeremy’s words echoed in my head once more and then for the first time I felt this bitter surge for Kelly that I wished I had controlled.

“I gave Kelly the letter that night when I dropped by your house” Casper explained, I had remembered the knock that night and Kelly had volunteered to go get, she came back and said it was only a false call — some lost guy was walking around the street and I had nodded.

“But then if you sent the letter and didn’t get a reply why didn’t you approach me?”

“I would have if I didn’t but I did get one” he answered and the response rendered me broken, “I had gotten a reply from you saying you had changed your mind and would never go to the dance with me even if I was the last person on earth”

“I never said that” I retorted.

“Now I know you didn’t but back then I thought you did, it left me broken to pieces and then there was Kelly standing and comforting me and in my moment of weakness I asked her to the dance and she said yes”

Listening to everything Casper had to say enraged me, Kelly was my best friend, she knew how much it meant to me, how much I had really wanted to go the dance with Casper, and she stole it, stole the opportunity from me and continued to flash me a big smile pretending to be my friend now I couldn’t help but doubt everything she had ever uttered. Did her aunt really pass away? Had she ever been honest to me?

“Since that day Kelly and I began to date and her series of countless lies to you began, she made me believe you had no feelings for me, so I began to create the wall, totally ignoring you in any way I could and now I regret every moment.” Tears began to swell in my eyes, tears burning with anger, tears soaking relief — I couldn’t believe that Casper had liked me ever since, I couldn’t believe that Kelly was the vendetta to my life.

“…but how did you, how did you… find…”

“How did I find out about Kelly’s deception?”
I nodded, “as much as I find it hard to admit it I have a big thanks to Brandon, he found out everything, he got closer to you to find out the truth, he realized how much you actually liked me, he realized you were so blinded by so many facts around you and you had the belief that Kelly had travelled for her aunt funeral when she had been seeing me all this while”.

I actually felt sad, sad to realize that the only reason Brandon had grown near to me was to mend the bridge between Casper and I, I should be grateful not mad but why wasn’t I?

Why was I burning in complete anger to know all those hugs and kisses meant nothing? Why was I burning in anger to know all this laugh and company was all an act? Why did he have to mend the bridge maybe if he didn’t I wouldn't have fallen for him, I wouldn’t have had this sudden hatred for Kelly, I would not have this sudden hopelessness for life but then as they say everything happens for a reason?

“I'm so sorry I let my anger consume me, I'm sorry I never gave you a chance to approach me” he held my cold hand. “I'm sorry I built the Great Wall of China around me” he wiped the first tear from my eye. “If I had known what Kelly was doing then maybe I wouldn’t have hurt you so badly”

“So everything was a lie” I muttered, “my friendship with Kelly was a lie, my friendship with Brandon was a lie, TELL ME IS MY FRIENDSHIP WITH ELLA ALSO A LIE!”
I screamed angrily, as all the tears rushed out in full force, not holding back a single tear, I cried so hard like a new born baby, I didn’t know what else to do, I didn’t know how else to feel, I had been deceived for too long, not once but twice and what hurt me the most was that I had fallen for him — for Brandon, and now it was all shattered. I was never going to be the naïve little Paige anymore, I wasn’t going to let them step on me, I was never going to let them ruin me.

Casper hugged me tight and wiped all my tears away.
“I'm so sorry Paige” he wiped them all off. “I'm sorry we hurt you” I stared into his glassy gray eyes, his gaze felt so sincere.
My ocean blue eyes were already as red as the Red Sea and in my moment of weakness I watched Casper pull close, my sobbing had calm down, only a few silent noise could be heard, his face as pulled nearer to mine and the peak of our noses touched.

“I'm so sorry Paige, I really am. Now all I want to do is make up for lost times, all I want to do is love you — I love you Paige” he drew closer for a kiss, I had remained still, staring blankly but then I pulled back. “I'm sorry but I can’t do this” I cried out and ran off.

I loved Casper, I had always loved him but I couldn’t … I just couldn’t, I needed time to think, needed time to heal — I needed time, time to forget Brandon.

A/N: hope you liked the chapter? Pls don't forget to click the cute star and leave a comment below...love you❤