Taking one more step until there was no distance spared between the two of them, teary-eyed, he uttered the words, "I missed you".

That was the first time he was back home, and right after that visit, when he returned to Seoul, he was swallowed by the tight schedule that every average K-Pop idol had. It has been years long since he had come back home. It does not help when it was accompanied with no hiatus and increasing popularity. His agency left no gap in the group's schedule for them to really rest. Resting means zero content for the current fans and potential fans, and the company could never afford let any profit go away, or let current success dwindle, even just a little bit.

Sighing in acceptance of a broken oath, she remembers the promise of consistent news from him, both the big and littlest things in his life, not wanting to miss anything. With each news, she always responded with genuine excitement, but when the news do not call for a joyful reaction, she always reassured him with her own promise of always being there when he needed it. Yet, it was broken anyway, but she has long accepted that the promise he has sworn to can never be fully fulfilled. She is just glad that he tried his best. She smiles at that.

On the train to Seoul, she recalls memories about the past when Taehyung would go back and forth between Seoul and home every now and then when he got the chance to. Every time he set his foot back home and reunited with her, she would always feel the kind of warmth she can never have anywhere else but from him. December, his birth month, would always be the month she looked most forward to. Every year, they would celebrate his birthday together and spend the holiday together before he had to go back for work in another city entirely. It broke her heart every time he had to go.

One last night before his last visit back home, he had told her, "I won't be returning for a long time, I don't know until when, but I will get very busy."

Hearing that promptly turned her body into a trembling mess, unbelieving to what he had declared, her voice came out shaky, "..what do you mean?"

"I meant exactly what I said, you know what I'm saying," he said, having already given up hope. She understood every word he had said. Tears pricked both of their eyes, not ready for goodbyes. "Let's just-"

The words caught in his throat, he choked out, "let's just enjoy the moments we have now."

That night was a night to remember. Both the pleasure and the tears of farewell, all happened to be eventually forgotten, lost in the battle against the hectic life of an idol. A piece of her cracked heart fell out with every hour she spent waiting for his response, thus she had stopped sending any when it felt like it was futile. A waste of effort, energy, and time. She wishes it was not like that, she wishes everything she believes to be false, but they are the truth and she had to stop inflicting pain on herself to heal, so she did. She brought herself to move on. She wanted to be whole again.

Burying the incoming waves of sadness back into her subconsciousness, she notices that it will only be half an hour left until she will finally arrive in Seoul. Her break awaits, it is finally here, but she seems to not be able to feel excited about this whole thing. There is this feeling of trepidation in her chest with the closing distance. She imagines that the big city is indeed big and bright compared to where home is where it is not the most noisy city. A cozy town with all too familiar people in it. She finally gathers herself together and tries to convince herself that the trip will be worth it, and no, she would not bump into him, and yes she will have fun. It is definitely the right choice. She came here because she wants to have fun, and totally not because she wants to meet him again.

Exploring the nooks and crannies of Seoul has not been an easy feat, but she has to admit, it is fun. Seoul is beautiful. She admires the man-made canal that was decorated with boulders and rocks. The water flows peacefully and there are ducks inhabiting the beautiful body of water. She recalls her own dream of having a home with similar sight like this. Her smile grows, already forgetting the rush of past memories that was haunting her whole way to this city.

Heading over to her next destination, the Namsan Tower which overlooks the city of Seoul far and wide. She beams with amazement at how both tall the tower is and how big of a city Seoul actually is. She muses to herself, there she is on top of a very tall building, feeling so small, feeling alone despite people who swarms around her, yet not feeling lonely. She just feels a weird sense of peace. She eventually gets bored of only sight-seeing, and remembering her itinerary for today, she is to head to another city to go visit the beaches.

Catching a taxi, she gets in, and leans her head against the window, feeling the vibration of the car itself in her head, tickling the insides of her ear. She moves in her seat to a more comfortable position, but how can she be comfortable when deep down, she visits Seoul first because she knows she wants to find Taehyung? 

Time passes by quickly in Seoul, she was dreading this happening and it finally happens, she runs out of time. She is finally at the station to catch the next train that will bring her to her next destination. It was somewhat of a wishful thinking that she could coincidentally bump into him effortlessly. She never told him she was coming, anyway. However, past will not change. No matter what happens, if they are meant to be, their paths will cross and that is exactly what happened tonight. Meaningful stare-down when their eyes met in the middle of the busy station of Seoul. 

"Y/N?" he calls out, his voice warm, a puff of white air follows the word he speaks, "hey."

A wave of deja vu washes all over her with just how familiar this interaction is. Eyes taking each other in with the snow falling above their figures. There would always be a dramatic pause before they hug and whisper the sentence "I missed you" to each other. She has a feeling that tonight will be different. Longingness is evident in his eyes, but the situation forbids him from freely reaching out to her like he always would. Today is different, and so the days following after.