His stomach rumbled something fierce, time to get a snack. He trundled out from his lonely office down the hallway to the vending machine. He mouth was already watering with the anticipation of sinking his teeth into a few packs of Twinkies.

Wendell's pitiful cubbyhole of an office was nothing more than a closet. Barely enough to fit a desk with a man of his sizeable girth. But he single-handedly was in charge of the entire Fah'Rey division!!

He past by some of the other divisions as he made his trek: K-POP always had lively music wafting out from beyond their door. Wendell always wondered how they could work with those distractions.

Wendell held his breath as he past by the Werewolves department. The smell was atrocious, disgustingly feral, and Wendell was highly allergic to dogs.

Next up were the woman's lit and poetry departments. You always can tell who works in those departments. They wear baggy clothes, smell strongly of weed. The girl's are all stand-offish and never shave their legs or armpits.

The most raucous department(on this floor) were by far Mafia. Intermittent bouts of shouting, then boisterous laughter could be heard at all times of the day. The were by far the largest revenue producers on this floor and they liked to brag about it.

The only larger department was Smut, they were not supposed to actually exist. But the entire floor upstairs was dedicated to them. Rumour was their office orgies we legendary, not that they would invite me Wendell sighed.

Finally he reached the vending machine, Wendell's stomach actually was in full revolt. He hurriedly deposited the change and pushed the selection for Twinkie.

Damn it! When the cake fell from its perch it was off target and got stuck on the ledge before the opening. Wendell whined audibly "why is life so unfair!!." Only one thing to do was to reach in and get it, he did pay for it.

His fat fingers went to work, he contorted his hand this way, then that way. Finally he was able to grasp his prize. Success!! Wendell finally had the sense of accomplishment...that was until he tried to remove his hand...it was firmly wedged in.

It was at that time when the Mafia office door opened and a man and woman exited. It was Vincenzo, wavy brown hair, chiseled jaw, five o'clock shadow. Is eyes sizzled with both desire and danger in equal measure.

The woman was Angela(they were all name Angela in Mafia) she was wearing a tightly fitting red miniskirt and a pair of Christian Louboutin black stilettos.

The diva snickered , "Hey look!! The land whale is trying to steal candy!!"

Vincenzo gave her a stern look and raised his hand like he was going to back slap her.

"I'm sorry Vinnie, I know only you are allow to make funny jokes, will you forgive me. I'll do anything you want daddy." She purred seductively.

Vincenzo's frown evolved into a wry smile and his hand descended towards her, only to stop and caress her chin. "Angel what am I gonna do about that mouth of yours?" Then to Wendell, " Hey! I know you! You're that fat fairy guy? Walter?"

"Wendell actually, and not fairy, the Fah'Rey department " he replied meekly.

"Yah yah whatever. Anyways your last chapter was delivered to me by mistake. Did you know that author guy was gonna kill off your main character like that? Ooh that's a kick in the cogliones!!" Then to Angela, "come on doll I've got an itch only your fake nails can scratch"

They sauntered down the hallway and entered the elevator, leaving Wendell to his growing panic attack.

NO NO NO, I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!!!