Ahriman sat at the desk chewing a massive wad of grape bubblegum. One of the only joys being in the Earth realm was grape bubblegum.

He was in the process of blowing a massive one when the door opened.

"What the fuck!! What are you doing in my fucking house!" Kurt's shock was evident he ran his fingers through his hair. "My family is off limits man!"

POP! "Sorry to burst your bubble there Zuperztarz, nothing in the 9 realms is off limits to me" he began another large bubble.

"I've done everything you have asked of me you little blue freak. I quit the story, tried to purged smut off wattpad. Put a loser on the Fah'Rey file, what more could I have done?" Kurt was pacing back and forth fervently.

POP!!! Chewing the wad slowly "Well your replacement has proven himself quite capable. He has really thrown a wrench in the works hasn't he?" Ahriman nonchalantly used a claw to scrape gum from between his sharky teeth.

"Who knew he could be so resourceful? I might have underestimated Wendell" Kurt replied lugubriously

Chew chew chew POP!! Then sighed demonstrably, "I wanted to spare Earth, I really did, but you're tying my hands here Zuperztarz. " he began rummaging through the desk indiscriminately tossing items in the air. "Anything incriminating in here Kurty boy?"

"Just tell me what a can do, I can somehow remove Wendell from the file. I can tank the story myself"

Ahriman made a bitter face, "already lost its flavour, good things never last eh" he removed the wad and adhered it to the bottom of the desk with a loud squish. " no need Kurty boy" pointing a claw and making a circular gesture,"wheels have been put into motion. I have levers I can use on our fat friend, but things might get messy around Wattpad so you better make yourself scarce. You have a lovely house here Kurty boy. To make sure you don't anything foolish, I have a friend squatting in your attic. Better not disturb him, he gets very skittish around people he doesn't know. Anyway toodles I've got to run, things to do." 

And with a poof he was gone