Ouch! I think I broke something, maybe everything

The dust from the demolition still did not have time to settle and Chrys was too tired to move.

His convalescence was constantly being harangued by a stream of cursing. "Tarbaak Venuho! Boshing stupid idiot. I should kill all you karbak gulus! "

Maybe it was his concussion, Chrys made the unwise decision of drawing attention to himself.

"I love what you've done with the place, an open air patio is much better than the shit hole it was before!"

"Where the bosh are you? When I find you I'm gonna castrate you with your own sword you Guvaz binzal!!" Responded a very angry scorpion.

What little light there was became suddenly eclipsed by an afro. "Ah ha! There your are!!" She proceeded to step on his chest with her dusty boot, Chrys felt his last unbroken bones just snap.

"You are so getting a bad review!! Food 2 out of 10, atmosphere 2 out of 10, service 1 out of 10!!!" He gasped out between stomps.

"aagghhh bosh off!!", her tail bit into the meat of his thigh with searing hot pain.

"Wait... I appolo...." Then everything went black.

********

After a few minutes he found himself floating through a morass of bugs and tendrils of aether. Discordant voices could be heard all around him as he fell.

This character is too one dimensional

What is a cuckoo wasp anyway?

Who thought this clown could carry a entire novel

He is incredibly dumb

"Hey! I can hear you, very hurtful brah!"

I think the girl should be the lead, she is more interesting

This will never win a Watty with this subpar plot line!

"Come on I'm trying my best here!"

Maybe put him in a kpop group

"Nah, I can't sing"

He's just a second grade DeadPool, a sarcastic anti-hero has been done to death, no originality

"Yeah, you have a point on that one"

There is no chance this book will get any readers.

"Then what are YOU doing right now"

He's not even Mafia

His floating came to a stop and Chrys found himself sitting in a chair.

There was a flash of light,  when Chrys' eyes cleared a chubby man with glasses was sitting across a desk from him. In front of him was a red folder.

"Somebody tell me what's going on here!!!" Chrys screamed out. "Who the fuck are you tubby?"

The man cleared his throat loudly, " Chrys, I am Mr. Davis, I am the representative of the readers here on Wattpad." The man spoke like he was addressing a simpleton.

"Readers? Wattpad? What the fuck are you talking about?" Inquired a very confused Waaspern.

"Chrys, settle down, hostility is not productive. I am here to help you, I've been going over your file here. Are you aware that you are a character in a story?"

"A what in a where now?" he was still dumbfounded.

"Okay, let me make this so simple even YOU can understand"

"Again very hurtful"

The man slapped the folder visibility annoyed, "I need to blunt with you, the numbers are not good! You're a hit in the 13-18 male category, but in every other metric you're failing!!"

"So what, who cares!"

"13-18 year old males don't buy books!"

"Oh, and that's important?"

"Chrys your entire existence pertains on whether the readers like you and purchase books"

Chrys squinted his eyes doubtfully, "who are these READERS, some kind of gods?"

"As far as you are concerned they might as well be, displease them and they can snap you out of existence." The fat man snapped his fingers and Chrys was blinded by a flash of light.

**********

"Thank bosh! I thought I killed you! I know the bounty stated alive or dead; but I didn't want to have to carry your boshing ass the whole way" she said with relief.

"Your concern is touching"