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Bounty Dodging is Thirsty Work

It has been two months since his escape from the Citadel. What did I have to show for it? Dirt. Dirt in my boots, dirt in the crevices of his carapice, chafing him endlessly, dirt in my {pfft pfft} mouth.


As Chrysididaen crested the hill he was climbing, a vast desolate vista unveiled itself in all its dirt covered glory. The only object of interest was a ramshackled building with the badly misspelled word "Sallum" on it.


Bounty dodging was thirsty work and Chrys' throat was parched and rubbed raw with a layer of dirt. He checked his pockets the only sound was the pathetic clank if two copper bits. {Man! I need to find a way to make some money.}


After watching the building for a while Chrys surmised it was empty so he made his way down. Upon opening the doors, the inside of the saloon was as sparse and desolate as outside.


A harsh female voice with a heavy Slavic accent greeted him upon entry.


"Bosh man! Close the boshing door you idiot. You're letting the dirt in!!"


Looking around at the dunes of dirt that already covered the floor he audibly chuckled.The woman at the bar was attractive, if you consider post apocalyptic chic your taste.

She was some type of arachnid, a nice figure under her skimpy gold leather bikini top. A big poofy rust coloured afro atop her head. With two mandible like appendages that endangered the wellbeing of the glassware in the saloon as she moved around behind the bar. With ochre coloured skin and piercing bronze eyes she had an exotic beauty to her.


He seated himself on a stool, sensing a profit she made her way over to him with a seductive smile on her face.

She leaned over the bar her firm breasts barely contained by the scrap of clothing she wore. Normally Chrys would be transfixed by her body, but something distracted him. Above the bar there was a wanted poster. {dead or alive 5000 gold} with a crude caricature of him one it.


"Bosh! You stink like a Grimux's shit, you're gonna scare away my clientele!" The girl stepped away crinkling up her nose in disgust.


Chrys made a pointed look around the empty bar, "a bit scared of water miss, last time I saw water some asshole tried to kill me" he instinctively reached for his shoulder where he was stabbed, after two months it still hurt.


He proceeded to toss his two coins onto the bar top sheepishly, "what can this get me?"Any semblance of nicety blew off her face like the dust in a desert wind. "Tarbaak Venuho!! How does every penniless bosh-hole drifter find their way to my door!!"


"Is that a no?"


"That will get you a glass of water, not to drink, I will toss it in your boshing face! Maybe then you won't smell so foul!"


"You have work needing done? I can work for food, or if you're feeling lonely I can..."


"I'll tell you what you can do, take that fancy sword and go bosh yourself!!"


Her tirade was cut off by the entrance of three individuals, who sat down at a nearby table.


"See yourself out, I have PAYING customers to take care of" with that, she left him.


Chrys peeked over his shoulder at the newcomers. Oh shit three Rhiinehorns, one with a noticeable limp. 

This is trouble, how can I sneak out of her without them knowing.

After a few minutes Chrys felt the ground shake under his stool. A deep guttural laugh made the dirt on the bar vibrate.


Behind him in a deep sonorous voice someone spoke, "wut hav wee here, some'un looking for company"

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