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Chapter 33: Terrible puns lead to death

"You've a good heart. Sometimes that's enough to see you safe wherever you go. But mostly, it's not."

~ Neil Gaiman (Neverwhere)

~~~~~~~ 

Goodness! Blue screeched inside her mind. What the hell do I do?

Language, Goodness reprimanded. What? One day of fighting and you're ready to start cursing—

Stop it! Blue cried, a headache traipsing through her head. This is no time to show your sass!

Blue didn't care that she was being flat out rude. To an ancient deity, no less. Tears blurred her vision as she willed Miracle to get up. But, no, he stayed limp on the floor.

Get up, Miracle, please, Blue prayed. Yet, his eyes remained closed.

Evil seemed to realise it too because he huffed out a relieved breath. "Well, now that's done, at least," he said, brushing off his fingers on his coat. "One inconvenience removed."

He stepped away from Miracle's unconscious body–Blue refused to entertain the alternative option–and approached the pair of mother and daughter. Rita's sweaty hands clamped down on Blue's shoulder. "Blue, who is this man?" Rita asked again urgently while Evil took his time to advance towards them, limping slightly from his knife wound. "I need to know i-if he's Markus. If he's your...father."

Blue didn't know what to say to that. "He is and he...isn't." That was the best, and most frank, answer Blue could come up with. "But don't worry," Blue quickly added. "I won't let him harm you, Ma."

Rita's face looked torn between terror and amusement.

"Is that so, Blue?" Evil asked, catching her last words. "Tell me, little girl, what exactly are you going to do to defeat me?"

Blue stepped towards Evil. Her hands formed into fists as she spat, "I will summon Goodness!"

Evil let out a mocking gasp. "Oh no!" he said dramatically. "Not Goodness! Such strife for me! I'm quaking!"

Pausing from his theatrics, he bent down towards Blue's height and said in a deep, low voice, "Do that, Blue, go ahead. You silly girl, you still haven't understood, have you? I'm here for Goodness. And, of course, if you want to make this easy for me and summon her yourself, I truly would owe you. And guess what? I'll even give you a chocolate as a reward, eh?"

Blue's nose pinched in anger.

Goodness, Blue called, not caring about the consequences.

Yes? Goodness answered hesitantly, perhaps sensing her plan.

Take control of me. Defeat him, Blue ordered, as calmly as she could.

Goodness was alarmed. But Blue

Do it! Blue snapped. I can handle it!

It isn't just about you, Goodness warned. If he and I were to truly battle one on one, there is no guarantee that I would win, much as it pains me to admit it. I'm neither invincible nor infallible. But even if I do somehow manage to subdue him, I cannot promise that your father or you will emerge out of this unharmed.

Blue swallowed, closing her eyes. But she would not hesitate anymore. She was long past that.

Do it, Blue said one last time.

"What is it?" Evil asked. "Having an internal...crisis, dear Blue?"

Except it wasn't really Blue anymore. When she opened her eyes again, they were golden.

"Hello once again, Evil," Goodness said, tilting her head sideways, flashing him a grin.

~~~~~~~~

"Why, Goodness, hello to you too. Or should I say Namaste?" Evil spat as he spread out his hands, a dark heat pooling on his palms, creating a scorching black fire–unnatural not only because of its colour but because of the way it leaped and danced, hungry to devour. Behind Blue/Goodness, Rita gasped in astonishment.

Goodness smiled so thinly it could have cut through diamond. She flourished her hands in an arc and sparks erupted in her hands, quite like minuscule thunder, waiting to burn its way through anything and everything.

"I pray you would not run this time, you coward," Evil said before he shot his hands forward, the fire sailing through the air, sizzling it, greedily making its way towards Goodness.

Goodness leapt out of its way, a growl rumbling in her throat. "You're calling me a coward? You're the one who ran from the Lighthouse at the first sign of defeat!"

Evil laughed aloud. "That wasn't cowardice. That was smartness. I lured you out, didn't I?"

Another ball of black fire flew towards Goodness, who spun out of its way, rolling through the floor. With Blue's voice screeching inside her mind to not let her mother and Miracle get hurt, Goodness knew she had to take the fight away from here. So, picturing an image in her mind, she pounced on Evil, Blue's lightweight body actually being an advantage.

Goodness thought she must have heard Rita's voice shout, "No! H-How--?" as the either of them disappeared from the house.

The world spun around them as they blasted through miles of distance in an impossibly short span of time. It felt much like being in the centre of a tornado. The heat and friction was nearly unbearable. But Goodness and Evil didn't even look scratched.

As they whirled around inside a vortex that defied time and space, Goodness flung her sparks towards Evil and he was just a second too slow in dodging. The hair on his arms and at the nape of his neck stood straight as his mortal body got electrocuted. Before he could retaliate though, the world finally seemed to stop on its axis. And then, both of them were falling.

Unable to help it, they screamed as they fell towards the earth, clouds parting around them, like two angels falling from grace. It was only when they crashed on a bed of dry soil and looked around, they saw the miles and miles of sand dunes stretching all around them with the heat of the sun unforgivably baking them to crisps.

~~~~~~

"Really? The Sahara?" Evil asked, struggling to his feet, brushing away the sand. "And here I thought we might have gone to a nice, cool vacation spot."

Goodness answered him by sending a wave of heat that she absorbed from the sun itself. "I hear the Maldives are pretty good this month," she said, sweat beading her forehead.

Roaring, Evil directed her powers back to her. Goodness screamed as some of the heat unavoidably burned her skin, making it blister.

"You know what? You're right. I have decided I don't like the desert--" Goodness started to say but Evil tutted.

"This time I choose the location," Evil said, grabbing Goodness's arms and locking her against his chest. His sentence was barely complete before they were teleporting again with Goodness vainly struggling under his grasp.

This time when they opened their eyes, it was an endless monotony of ice surrounding them.

~~~~~~~~

"I'm not surprised," Goodness began, unsteadily getting up on her feet, the cold making her teeth chatter. Do you know how hard it is too look intimidating when you are shivering and coughing? "Of course, you would choose ice. You're nothing if not predictable."

"You hurt me, Goodness. It isn't about my predictability. It is about the poetry of it. The metaphorical resonance of it. You're all fire and blaze and I'm all cold and hard, isn't that right?" Evil explained sagely. "So, there you go. I give you the Antarctic. Tell you what? If you could handle it long enough, we might even catch a glimpse of the Southern Lights. And if that isn't poetic, I assure you nothing else is."

Goodness shot him the fakest of fake smile. "Since when have you turned a skald?"

Evil shrugged. "Maybe it's just my host. But, anyways, this meaningless chit chat is beginning to bore me--" As if to prove his point, he fisted his hand and brought it out down hard on the ice. Goodness gasped as cracks appeared on the thin ice. It took her a second to realise that they were standing on a frozen lake of sorts.

She cried out as the ice collapsed on their feet. Using the gravity of the earth and reversing it to her own benefit, Goodness flew up in the air, barely managing to levitate. Evil followed her.

"What is it, Goodness? Scared? Got a cold feet maybe?" Evil said, faux concern lining his brows. "Oh wait! I just recalled, you did always have an irrational fear of ice, did you not?"

Laughing, he upended Goodness by blowing a sharp, chilly draft towards her. Before she could go crashing on the deep, icy lake though, she managed to get back her control, sweeping up towards Evil. Anger made her resolve stronger as she churned a storm above the sky.

"Your puns are terrible!" Goodness cried just as thunder rolled out of the sky in a single flash, shooting straight towards Evil like a burning meteorite. 

I know, I know, I totally pulled a Doctor Strange here. Also, I think I gave you guys quite the world tour lmao.  First Finland, then India, now the Sahara and Antarctica. I'm awesome, I know. 

Anyways, only two more chapters to go! Yayayayay :) 

Don't forget to press that star button and leave me a comment on your thoughts! <3

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