I remain outside, in that same spot Clarissa left me. Despite the coat hugging my little frame, the cold breeze around me was so freezing. I'm sure my lips would be purple by now. My tears keep falling without restraint. I try to gather my thoughts but I keep failing. I hug myself while the tears keep streaming as I try to wrap my head around all the facts I have just consumed. How would a mother never know she is having a twin? Well, I never had a ultrasound but that doesn't matter, does it? I only felt one kick during pregnancy, right? I sigh in frustration as I don't even remember the answers to my question.
   
I punch in mum's number.
    
"Hey darl..." I cut her short.
     
"Did I give birth to twin?" I rush.
 
There is a fat silence." Wwhaaat ddid you just say?" She sttammer in shock.
     
"You heard me right, mum. Did I or did I not?" I almost screamed.
     
"Darling, let me explain this to..."
    
"Did I or did I not?" Holding my head in frustration, I scream.
     
"Yes, you did." She whispered. I held my head tighter at her reply. I could feel the tears threatening to fall so I don't resist it. I just let it fall hoping it washes away this indescribable new feeling but it doesn't.
  
"What happened to her?" I manage to ask.
    
"Darling, you need to listen to..."
  
I cut her short again. " What in Pete's sake happened to her?!"
     
"She was a stillborn." She whispered silently. I noticed her voice came out anguished but I have no time to think about that. My phone slips from my hand. This pain... this new feeling is so....
    
"Arggh!!!!" I scream out in pain. It's so painful. My head hurts. My throat hurts. But this hurts the more. The possibility of Brahms been right hurts the more. So I had another life in me? What a terrible mother I am! But why would he?
     
"Why!!" I scream out in agony hoping the pain disappears in the air with my screams but it doesn't rather the pain in my head intensifies. Why did he separate a baby from her mum? I stop myself from imagining how my baby would have grown up without me? Would she hate me?
     
"Oh, she must hate me!" I lament as I stare into blank space. My eyes flicks past my phone on the floor and that is when I realise that I'm still on the call with my mum but I don't bother to pick it up. I just stare at it. Letting her anguished voice bring out more tears.
      
I remained in that spot till I felt my head spinning. This pain feel so deadly. So...
    
"Arrgh!!" I scream out in pain again. My breathing becomes ragged as I try to stop the pain but I just can't stop it. No, the pain is killing me. Then, I remember my baby girl in the house. I pick up the phone I was staring at some seconds ago. I guess mum has finally cut the call. I press my speed dial as the pain intensifies.
  
"Hello" I heard his cool and husky voice. His voice lessens the pain so I wait. I wait for him to speak up again. I don't want to hear my voice just his.
     
"Hello." I hear that voice again but this time more louder. His voice brings unknowingly large comfort so I want to hear it again.
      
"Tell me everything is gonna be alright." I manage to say. My own voice sounding distasteful to my ears. Talking makes my throat hurt the more.
    
"Are you crying?" He asked with a lot of concern that made my tears move. I want him here with me. More sniffs. I want my head on his chest now. I need him now. More sniffs as I try to suppress my loud sobs.
     
"What happened?" He asked, his voice heavily laden with so much love and concern that can even move an hardened criminal.
    
"He got my address... Brooks... He came here... He is saying nonsense...Clarissa believes him... She looks like Clarissa... The girl...  He keeps on saying impossible things... Clarissa believes them... Proofs? He claims to have them... He showed me but..." I try my best to explain but I guess it makes no sense. I feel so frustrated.
      
"Please explain better so I can understand." He said. Knowing someone cares so much like this makes my hearts swell with so much emotion. The tears keep streaming as I hold the phone tightly.
      
"Where are you?" He asked.
 I deeply breath in and out hoping to give him a sensible reply but my emotions are so mushed up. "Home... She won't come out of her room... Clarissa... What should I do? I'm so exhausted."
     
Yes, I feel so tired. I just want to rest. If wishes were horses, I want to wake up from this dream and realise I slept while Clarissa and I were browsing through the food section online.
       
"Don't go anywhere. I'm coming to you right now." I hear him say. I hold the phone to my ear for some minutes more but when I don't hear his voice anymore, I let it slip to my lap.
   
I gather my legs up to my chest and put my arms around it while I rest my head on my knees till I hear a car pull up in my driveway.
     
"Erica!" I hear his startled voice and I look up. As he runs toward me, I try to flash him what I hope is a smile.
     
He holds me up and direct me to the living room.
      
He wraps his hands around me. His warmth makes my eyes water but I struggle to keep the tears at bay. He pulls away from me just 5cm apart. I give a slight shiver at the absence of his warmth. His orbs notices the struggle in my eyes to not cry in his presence so I look down immediately to stop him from seeing my vulnerability. He does not try to lift my chin up rather he hugs me again. I hear his not so subtle sigh as he pats my back slowly.
   
"It's alright to cry" He said.
      
"Hmm?" I asked trying to pull away from the hug but he held me back.
   
♪" It's alright to cry
    ♪   It's alright to let tear drop far
          from your eyes
    ♪   Even the darkest night would
         find their light
    ♪   It's alright to cry
    ♪   It's alright to cry
    ♪   So break down in shudders, if
           you need to, it's fine.
    ♪   It's al... It's al... It's al...It's alright
            to cry.
    ♪   It's al... It's al... It's al...It's alright
            to cry.   
    ♪   It's alright to cry
    ♪   It's alright to let tear drop far
          from your eyes
    ♪   Even the darkest night would
         find their light
    ♪   It's alright to cry..."
     
I listened to his husky but beautiful voice sing. And I did just that, I broke down in shudders. He kept singing the song and patting my back as I cried out my heart. I washed away all that memories with salty water, my tears. Memories of Brahms denying my existence, memories of his mum's accusations, memories of disgusting looks thrown at me by other college colleagues & lecturers and many more. More tears drop far from my eyes. As expected, my storage of tears eventually dried up. Just an headache, a runny nose, my red eyes and a puffed up face are the evidences left of my emotional and physical meltdown a moment ago.
        
Alvin pulls my head into his lap. He expertly removes my satin bonnet from my head and runs a hand through my soft hazel hair and massage my scalp. The massage brings a sort of relief to my distressed self. I close my eyes enjoying the feeling of his wonder hand.
  
He removes my head from his lap and goes off. I try to ask him where he is going to but the pain in my throat from all the tears prevents me from doing so. I close my eyes shut, basking in the silence. Too immersed in the darkness and silence, I did not know when he returned but as soon as he lifted my head my eyes flew open.
     
"It's me. Have a glass of warm water." He says gently as he raises me up a bit.
    
I try to mutter thanks but it comes out muffled as a result of my dry and raspy throat. I give up trying and collect the mug from him. The water soothes my dry throat but it's too little to sooth my thirstiness.
     
"More?" He asks and I nod.
       
"I came prepared." He chuckled and pointed to the stool beside him. There was about three more mugs filled with warm water then a tissue paper and face wipes. This brought a smile to my face. As I drank the second mug of water, I wondered how fast he must have been to put water in the electric kettle in just some seconds. Or maybe it was just some seconds in my eyes since he stopped massaging my scalp and went to the kitchen (I just realized where he went to) when it was actually a few minutes ago.
    
The second mug of warm water quenched my thirstiness. I sighed in relief as I passed the empty mug to Alvin. He dropped it on the stool and passed the tissue papers to me.
      
"Clear your nose." He said. When I was done, he held out a nylon bag for me to dispose the used toilet papers. I smiled at his thoughtfulness while disposing the used toilet papers in the nylon bag he is holding out for me.
     
After I was done, he returned my head to his lap and returned to massaging my scalp. I closed my eyes as his massage totally calmed my frayed nerves.
    
"You are not going to ask me what happened?" I asked with shut eyes.
   
He laughed loudly, my head on his laps vibrated at the sound of his pleasant laughter. "I was going to ask but was waiting till you brought it up on your own. So since you have brought it up, what happened? Who is Brahms? How did he get your address? What nonsense is he spewing? And where in Pete's sake is Clarissa?" He asked at once.
   
"Woah!! One at a time!" I chuckled while he smiled. I subconsciously raise my fingers up to trace his smile. At the touch of my finger on his face, he froze.
    
"Don't stop smiling, I just want to trace your smile." I pleaded. He stared at me for awhile till his face broke out in a captivating smile.
      
"Brahms is Clarissa's biological father. I don't know how he got my address. He came here this morning asking to see her. He claimed he never abandoned him. He claims Clarissa is a..." I drop my hand from his face. My heart rate increases as I try to calm it down.
     
"...twin." I blurt out releasing the breath I have held with it.
   
I shut my eyes to avoid seeing his facial expression. I feel a shiver down my spine as he plays with my lashes making me open them.
     
"Your eyes and long lashes are pretty." He said with a smile while staring at my eyes. "I'm listening." He calmly added.
   
With a smile on my face, I continued. "He claims to have switched Clarissa's twin with a still born while he actually took her. " I fight hard to swallow the lump in my throat.
     
He continues massaging my scalp. "I'm listening." He urged me again to keep talking.
     
"I called my mum and she confirmed it. She said I gave birth to both Clarissa and a still born. She claimed that I was not informed so that I won't fall into distress and blame myself for an early pregnancy."
   
"Did he show you a picture?" He asked.
    
I shook my head in refusal. "But he said he will be back with her." There was a deadly silence except for the dragging of things in Clarissa's room.
       
"Clarissa is annoyed at him. She hates me. She hates me for lying that her dad is died. She also thinks that I had been lying about her twin. She thinks that I knew she had a twin but I did not know. I swear..." He places a hand on my mouth to stop me from talking.
     
"Please don't swear. I know you are not lying." He said. He flashed me one of those his captivating smiles tempting me to trace the lines around his smile. While staring at his face while my head was still on his lap, a thought came to me.
     
"You are not handsome." I blurted out.
      
"Huh??"
      
"You are not handsome." I repeated. As I said it, I could feel his lips already forming a pout.
      
"You are not handsome instead you are pretty." I giggled as I raised my hand to ruffle his pretty black hair.
      
"I wonder how you would look like with another color of hair perha..."
     
He abruptly stood up making my head fall to the sofa.
   
"Ouch!" I faked pain.
  
He quickly held my head in his big hands. "Are you hurt?" He asked with concern heavily laced in his voice.
      
"Why did you stand up abruptly?" I asked with an annoyed pout on my lips.
 
"I'm sorry." He apologized. He sat down back and returned my head to his lap.
     
After a few seconds of staring at him and he staring into space, I remembered what I was talking about. " I was saying I wonder how you would look like with anothe..."
     
He cut me off"Where is Clarissa?
    
There was a quick silence before I replied. "In her room." I replied shortly.
       
"Can I go to her? He slowly asked. I nodded my head as a go ahead. He stood up with my head in his laps. He used a throw pillow to replace his laps.
     
"It's not as warm as your lap." I grumbled.
      
"Huh?" He asked with shock.
      
"Nothing." I shortly replied. I cuddled the throw pillow as I got comfortable in that position.
      
I heard his giggle on his way to Clarissa's room bringing a smile to my face.

Hello here! Don't be shocked by my frequent update. I'm a loyal writer to all my loyal readers😇😂So, how was this chapter?
     
Is Brahms lying about Clarissa's twin been with him? What if Erica really gave birth to a stillborn and Brahms is just making up lies? Let us{ I and the other readers} hear your fantastic view about it😋
     
Who can guess the song Alvin sang during the course of this chapter?🤔 First to get the correct answer gets a follow, vote on your story( that is if you have written one) and a comment on your story. The offer stands till this story is completed. Try and see 💁
    
So, that is all I have to say😁 I'm sure most of you would be like I talk too much but it's not my fault😏😭😭 It's just in my blood😂 I don't know which of my nuclear family member don't talk too much.🤔😂 I guess my eldest sister 😌 but she has times too when she is on full mode {Do you understand what I mean?😂😂}. Actually we all do. Sometimes she is the most quiet and sometimes it's any of us including my parents,{ but please don't tell them I said so ooh.🙏😕 I don't know how to shout ooh!! I can only cry😌😂😂} it just depends on the place and our mood. Before I say ba-byeee👋, let me remind y'all to vote, share and comment.