Duh! I and Clarissa are on our way to the theatre. I'm not in the mood to watch a movie. I'm not in the mood to leave the house. I'm not in the mood to get out of my bed. I'm not in the mood for anything actually. But I've a daughter and a life apart from Rick. I did not have strong feelings for him so I wonder why I'm this hurt. Ooh! I just figured it out! It is not the fact that Rick lied to me throughout our relationship while I was so open that hurts this much but the things he said during our breakup. Yes! Those words he said reached a part in my heart that I have decided to ignore. My past, my mistakes. I have decided to forget that but I can now see how terribly poor I failed to do that. I thought I could live a normal live by feeding lies to my daughter. I am just realizing now that I was not trying to deceive Clarissa instead I was trying to deceive myself. I wanted me to think that it never happened but it all comes back to haunt me in the end. It was just a single mistake so why...? Why does it keep flaunting itself in my face? Why me...?

I don't know what brought me back to reality whether the slamming of the door or Clarissa's excited screams. But it brought be back to reality. I'm here at the theatre.

"Two seating number for the live show of Alvin and the chipmunks" I say to the tickets seller.

"Here is it, ma'am. The ongoing show in theatre 4 would be over in a few minutes. You can move over to the waiting room."

"Thanks" I say as I collect it and lead Clarissa to the waiting room.

"Melvin!" Clarissa releases her palm from mine and rushes over to a little girl whom I later realise is Melvin, Clarissa's crush sister. Clarissa drags her over.

"Mom, do you remember Melvin?"

"Of course. How do you do, darling? I asked.

" Good Evening ma. I'm good."

"What brings you here?" Clarissa asks with a very bright smile.

"I'm here with my uncle to watch the live show of casts of Alvin and the chipmunks."Melvin said.

"Yeah! I'm here for that too." Clarissa screams.

"And your mum?" Melvin whispers with a look that says 'don't tell me she watches this type of animation?' I rolled my eyes.

"I literally dragged her here." Clarissa whispers back.

"I threatened my uncle to accompany me." Melvin whispered and they both laughed

"Oh Melvin, I've been looking for you. I told you to stay put..." He trails off
Oh My Gosh! Alvin. It is starting to feel like he shows up everywhere.

"I'm sorry." Melvin said with a pout.

"Clarissa, meet my uncle, Alvin. Alvin, meet Kelvin's Clarissa" Melvin introduced.

"Kelvin's Clarissa?" Clarissa asked with an open mouth.

"Yes. It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you." Alvin said.

"Oh please, don't patronize me! Everybody says that at first meetings." Clarissa said adding additional swagger to her words. I do really love this girl I carried for 9 months.
He chuckled. Wait..., did I just hear him chuckle.

"I've seriously heard a lot about you from Kelvin."

"Like what and what?" Clarissa asked with that extra swagger still in her voice. Then, I just realised that no matter how my past flaunts itself in my eyes, I live for this little girl;my little girl.

"He said that you are beautiful and have mesmerizing blue eyes and I would say he is absolutely right. He also told me about the incident with those girls. He also told me about your usual spot."

"Commendable! You have really heard a lot about me." Clarissa said as she extended her hand for a shake.

"Is she always like this?" Alvin asked Melvin while chuckling

"If you mean mature, then I'm gonna have to say yes." Melvin replies with a smile.

"Wait..., which girls? Clarissa, you didn't tell me you have any problem with anyone in your school."

"Mum, it means it's no big deal. Don't forget I'm still standing in front of you unscratched."

"It does not mean, Clarissa either..."

"And here it goes again" Clarissa said with an exaggerated eyes roll. And he chuckles again. Both this time a deeper and one..

"Oh, I've not introduced you two. Alvin meet..." He cuts Melvin off

"Erica"

"Oh you know each other?" Melvin asked and I nodded.

"Wait... As in Alvin? Alvin and the chipmunks."

"Yes. Don't tell me you are in love with my name just like Melvin here." Alvin teased.

"Of course. I love all Alvin's around the world." Clarissa teased.

"What if he is a criminal?" Alvin teased back.
"Does Alvin sound like a name for a criminal?" She asked sarcastically.

"But if I get to meet a person like that, I would drive him straight to the...sorry, I can't drive. I would tell my mum to drive him straight to the court for change of name." She teased and he laughed. Gosh, a very wide and pleasant laughter.

"Gosh, I like her already." Alvin whispered to Melvin "So what name are you going to give him?"

"Benedict. No offense meant because Benedict is really nice name."Clarissa said.

He chuckled again and I just realised that he has dimples." So why Benedict then?" He asked while squatting.

"I... I...I... Don't ask me why. I just thought that Benedict is the name mostly used for criminals in those horror movie." Clarissa said with a slight shiver.

"I guess the show is starting soon." I said cutting off their little chitchat.

"Your daughter is a really amazing girl." Alvin said with a bright smile.

"The pleasure is all mine." I said and Clarissa nudged me in the elbow.

"What?" I asked.

"Leave a little pleasure for me. I'm the one being complimented here." She folded her arms and gave me a not so cute pout.

"I'm the one being complimented here sweetheart. He said; 'Your daughter...' He didn't say 'Clarissa'

"But I'm your daughter so the compliment goes to me."

"No..." She cuts me off with a raised hand.

"Let us just settle. Alvin? Can I call you that?"

"Of Course." He replied trying to hold back his laughter.

"Good! Alvin, were you complimenting me or my mum?"

"I..." She cuts him off with a raised hand.

"And don't say you were complimenting both of us because my instinct is telling me you were about to do that. Now answer. Me or my mum?"

"Clarissa! It's bad to put an adult in the spotlight. Now apologize!" I scolded.

"But he does not seem to care. He seems to be having fun. Don't you, Alvin?" She asks with a pout.

"You know what? Why don't I give you an answer to that over dinner. We foursome can grab an early dinner after the show. What do you say, Melvin and Clarissa?"

"Of course!!" They squealed with excitement at the same time.

"Mummy?" "Miss Erica?" "Erica?" They all looked at me.

"Fine. Can we move over to the theatre room, now?"

"Of course." He said with a wink.
Gosh! My heart be still! You have seen better.

"Are you okay mum. You are red."

"Of course darling. Let us find our seats."

                  ♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♥♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

"Fish Escovitch with bammy and please callaloo syrup." Alvin ordered as he closed the menu and gave the waitress a wink.

"Huff! Flirting with anything in skirt!"

"Are you jealous, Miss Erica?"

"OMG! Why would I be? It's your business. Isn't it? Please get me pone of Jamaican pudding with bread fruits." I said as I closed the menu.

"Sweet potato pudding with salt fish fritters please." Clarissa said to the waitress with a smile.

I wonder why everyone is giving her smiles. She does not look decent. I wonder if this is how every employees skirt is short.

"Mum!"

"Yes darling."

"You zoned out. What's wrong?" Clarissa asked.

"Nothing"

"Well the beautiful waitress wanted to know what you would love to have for drinks." Alvin said with a smirk.
I turned to the beet red waitress. I'm not joking here, her face is red just because of a few compliments. I receive more than that everyday so I don't care.

"Bob Marley Cocktail" I said. The beet red waitress nodded and scurried away.

"It's wrong, Mr. Alvin"

"What did I do?" He shrugged.

"Playing with people feelings. You just gave that innocent waitress a wrong idea about your intentions towards her."

"I suppose that is none of your business or is it?"

"No, it's not." I replied abruptly. I turned my attention to the kids.

"What about Kelvin?" Clarissa asked as she fumbled with the bow on the front of her gown.

"He is working on his project. Have you done yours?" Melvin asked

"No I've not. I seriously don't know how to go about it and the submission deadline is in three weeks."

"What is your project about?" Melvin asked

"To write a one hour play for the upcoming Father's day."

"Gosh! That is difficult!" Melvin exclaimed.

"I can help out if you don't mind." Alvin offered

"I absolutely don't care but..." She nudged her chin towards me.

"Thanks Mr. Alvin but I can help my daughter with her project. You should help your cousin."

"Mum, you can't do it."

"And he can? How are you sure?" I asked.

"He said he can." She replied.

"And I just said I can."

"Mum, you are just being stubborn." She mumbled.

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm not."

Alvin said, "It's okay Clarissa. If your mum says no then it's no way."

"Fine you can help her out with her project but it's going to be on my own terms."

"No problem Miss Erica. Or is there, Clarissa?"

"Not at all. I love you mummy!!" Clarissa said as she showered my face with wet, sloppy kisses.

The waitress brought our orders over. Melvin and Clarissa talked throughout the meal while Alvin kept chipping in sometimes. I keep on cautioning Melvin and Clarissa to stop talking while eating but they did not listen. One minute they are quiet, the next minute they are not.

                                ¶¶¶¶

"Mum, someone is at the door!" Clarissa shouted from the living room.
I guess it is Alvin. The days I suggested he come over to help Clarissa out with her project are Friday, Saturday and Sunday Evening. It's a Friday. I've been pretty avoiding him in school though we are still preparing for the gala party.

"Mum! Or should I get the door?" Clarissa asked. I have always warned her to not get the door.

"No darling, I'm coming."

"Erica, breathe in, breathe out. I am doing this. He is just coming over to help your daughter, nothing more. So now, you will just go over to the door and open it casually. 1,2,3, ready...go." I open my eyes and quickly check myself in the mirror. Fine, I agree. I dressed up for him but I hope it looks casual and I hope the lipstick and mascara I used is not that noticeable.

"Good Evening. I came bearing gifts. It is a basket of fruit. I didn't want to come empty handed." Alvin said as he stretched the basket towards me. Gosh, his dimples are so cute.

"You didn't have to. Thanks. Come in." I stepped away from the doorstep so he could enter.

"Clarissa, see what I've got you. A basket of fruit and your project helper." I said dramatically emphasizing more on the project helper to remind myself that it is nothing more.

He looked at me, quirked an eyebrow with a smirk plastered on his face, "Project Helper?" I nodded.

"Alvin!" Clarissa screamed as she ran over.

"Hello Clarissa." He squatted over and ruffled her hair in a kinda cute way. What am I saying, how is ruffling a little's girl hair kinda cute. Gosh, I'm getting too hot. I need to get out of here.

"I will be back. I want to place the fruits in the refrigerator. While I'm gone, Clarissa show your project helper the materials you have and some of the ideas I gave you."

"Okay mom"
     
"Project helper hun?" I heard him say as I walked or more like I scurried away. I could literally imagine the smirk on his face. Till he leaves today, I'm not going to give him another reason to smirk.
       
When I returned, Clarissa and him were settled round the coffee table at the living room's centre. I went over to cuddle up in an armchair as I watched them with interest.

"Welcome." He greeted me with a smile. Oh, I must have dozed off.

"Where is Clarissa?" I asked as I stretched my hands.

"You look like a cat while doing that." He remarked while trying to hold his laughter in.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

"Clarissa went to take a quick nap."

I stood up immediately. " You were alone with two sleeping ladies!"

"And nothing happened, remember?"

"Fine. What should I get you?" I cover my yawn with the back of my phone.

"A warm chocolate would do."

"Thanks." He said as I handed him a mug of warm chocolate.

"You are quick." He slowly sipped it.
     
"Yeah, I have become quite familiar with it's formula as it is my favourite warm drink." I said as I inhaled the chocolate's aroma coming from the mug in my hands.
     
"Ooh, you are so good!" His dimples went deeper than usual, I noticed
    
It was quiet for a while. All that could be heard is the tap water dripping on the sink, I guess I forgot to close it properly again and the sipping of chocolate.

"How are you?" He suddenly asked.

"I mean how have you been, you know since the breakup?" He explained perhaps he saw I was confused.

"Fine, I've been fine." I quickly replied without taking my eyes off the mug.

"If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. I'm sorry for asking." He resumed the slow sipping of the chocolate.
     
I have never told anyone not even May so I wonder why my heart is aching to tell him. It's nothing much perhaps because I just need a listening ear and a little sympathy to keep me going. "I've not been fine. I feel stressed trying to hide it from everyone. It is getting difficult to smile at everyone like I used to do. Now I fake it all. My smiles, my mood and my face expression."

"It must have not been easy. Why do you have to fake it?"

"I don't understand what you are trying to say."
      
"You don't have to fake it. When you don't find something funny or interesting, you don't have to smile or laugh. When you are not in the mood for an activity, just say it outright and if the person really cares, he or she would not impose. What do you think?"

I'm staring at the mug but I can feel his stares on me.

"I guess that is better." I looked up ."Thanks"

"You are welcome. I better start going. When Clarissa is awake, give this to her. It's the draft for Act 1."

"No problem. Thanks for helping out."

"The pleasure is all mine. See you tomorrow evening."
       
"Let me walk you to the door."

Slamming the door at his back, I ran to my bedroom immediately making sure to close the door because of Clarissa and jumped on my bed. I kept on rolling from one side of the bed to another and back. I can feel my smiles are so wide and this time, they are not fake.

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