Frank spent nearly two hours tossing and turning on the bed, trying to close his eyes and drift off into sleep but his active brain and aching heart kept him wide awake. It was to the point where he could not even shut his eyelids, they resisted. He was done shedding tears, done muffling sobs into a pillow, he had enough time to drain the bad energy and face what he was hurting over. When Frank was alone, he tended to think everything over and maybe he took them to extreme levels, but he always had a small bubble of anxiety blowing larger and larger in his ribcage. He worried he would be consumed by the ugly feeling sooner or later if he had not been already.

Mainly, Frank thought about Gerard. He was not sure if what they had was a fight, a disagreement, or the wrong placement of words. Or perhaps it was just the cold hard slap of the truth. In all honesty, Frank believed Gerard did not intend to hurt him. He remembered the guilt and sadness written all over Gerard's face. Frank also knew that he was gentle, soft hearted and never liked to hurt anything or anyone. That would not change in the matter of a few hours, Gerard had been the same for years on end. Frank had many conflictions over this small argument they had. He could barely label it as an argument. Either way, his brain was storming over it and his poor heart was still in pain.

One part of him was hurt and the pain from that section of his brain took affect on him. He was hurt that Gerard would say to his face that he would be happier without him, it would have been easier if they had never met. Frank felt that Gerard secretly thought he did little for him, his everything was not good enough. Frank was even starting to believe this. There was only so much he could do for his love in their given circumstances but everything he could give, he did. He risked so much for Gerard - was this not enough? Was Gerard secretly unhappy? In all honesty, Frank would never choose another path in life if it meant Gerard would not be there. He even wondered at this point if he loved Gerard more than the latter loved him. He could feel himself being sucked into a whirlpool of doubt and it could so easily drive him insane, leave him questioning everything to the point where Gerard would find him foolish and leave his side.

Another part of Frank understood Gerard. This is what clashed with the other section of his brain and set off horrible pains in his chest, the kind of fresh wound where it did not bleed but it felt empty like it had bled whatever was inside of it already. He was battling with himself in a cross between understanding and hurting. One part knew that Gerard would have been happier if he had the alternate universe Frank had explained to him. That was how their reality was supposed to be - Gerard, happy and in love with Lindsey Ballato, and no one to stand in the way of that. Lindsey would not have felt unloved, she would be alive, and Gerard would never be unhappy ever again. Frank wanted Gerard to smile, to feel free, to be able to go out into public with the person he loved without feeling afraid for his wellbeing. Frank could not give that to Gerard as much as he longed to.

He was torn into pieces. Gerard deserved none of this and Frank was truly believing now that perhaps it would have been better if they never met in real life. Even if they did, Frank could have escaped all the situations in the future that involved Gerard and not make it worse for the two of them. Despite the love that had grown between them, new love could sprout anywhere with anyone, and they would continue on with their lives. With the exception of their dreams - those are what doomed them from the start.

Frank wondered and puzzled constantly why he dreamt about Gerard. Was it the universe telling him this was the boy to stay away from or the boy to go to? At this point, he believed he was supposed to stay away from Gerard and he took the message the dreams gave him the wrong way. Only, it felt so right to be with Gerard. To touch him, to kiss him, to merely stand near him felt like all the stars aligned overhead and there was nothing left in the world to do but love him. He was not alive until he met Gerard and he died whenever they were apart, there was a void in his chest that needed to be filled with the latter. It was a necessity that Frank for the first time questioned if he loved or hated.

After another long while of over thinking and gnawing on his bottom lip, Frank sat up. The sheets were still wrapped around him and his chest and arms were bare, exposed to the cold air. Winter was well on its way and he could feel that in the crispness of the air biting at his flesh. He ran his thumb over his bottom lip and felt it still tender from his love making with Gerard last night. When he looked down at himself, he could see a mark on his hip, slightly purple and dark - a love bite from Gerard.

"Am I doing this right?" Gerard breathed against Frank's skin as he looked up at Frank shyly through his long eyelashes. Then he sucked on the patch of skin on Frank's hip, mouthing at it with his soft lips and tongue until a gentle red mark appeared on his pale flesh. The soft sting and pleasant thrill going through Frank's body made him moan quietly, fingers finding their way into Gerard's hair as he hummed in approval.

Frank sighed and looked out the window. He knew he could not avoid Gerard for so long - he did not want to. He knew Gerard was close, he was inside the cabin with him, but he felt miles away. Perhaps because he had not heard a peep coming from the latter. He wanted to see Gerard, apologize to him for reacting foolishly. His heart was still sore but he surely understood more than he did a long stretch of moments ago. He got to his feet and tossed the blankets aside.

When he exited the room, his eyes scanned across the living room. Gerard was no longer sitting on the couch, but the paper pad and pen were still there. He walked closer to see it slightly wet with drops on them - teardrops. Frank's heart immediately sunk with heavy guilt. He bit his lip and lightly touched the paper with the tips of his fingers, feeling the wet and fresh tears there. He turned his head to see the door leading to the back porch was open just a crack and the breeze was gently flowing inside, rustling a fake potted plant by the doorway. Frank took in a wavering breath and made his way over. Goosebumps broke out over his bare flesh because it slipped his mind to grab a shirt to put on, but he cared not at all if he was a little cold.

He opened the back door all the way quietly and the sun and air washed over his face. He squinted slightly from the sudden brightness, and he turned his head to the right to see Gerard standing there at the railing of the porch, leaning over it and gazing at the sun shining through the forest trees as it slowly began to set. The leaves had long since began to fall and the remaining ones were yellow and brown, hanging by a single stem and waiting to touch the ground. Frank often thought that trees and leaves were the perfect example of the life cycle - everything was brought to life, they lived, they died. Leaves represented the cycle with their colors. Today, they were dying and the trees were ready to grow new green leaves to have hang from their branches. The thought was morbid. Everything seemed to be falling apart lately.

Frank quietly crossed the porch, holding his breath and pausing as he watched Gerard. The latter was wearing the same white button up shirt but with sweats on his legs, the shirt only half way buttoned and his exposed skin looked soft and white as milk in the lighting. His black hair gently moved in the breeze and he tucked a lock of it behind his ear, sniffling quietly.

Frank stood next to Gerard. He leaned his arms on the railing and watched the sun slowly setting, listening to the sweet sounds of nature surrounding them. Gerard did not look at him, but he knew he sensed him because of the way his head turned slightly in his direction. His eyes, however, remained glued to the sight in front of him. His irises looked green in this light, but the sprinkles of golden and the thick ring of brown around his pupils popped out. Frank always loved Gerard's eyes and the sweetness laying inside them. It made his heart glow with warmth.

"Sunsets are the only part of Battery City I love." Gerard whispered out of the blue. Frank glanced at him and listened closely to every single word as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

"The nature here is so pure. I love it." Gerard continued in a soft voice, almost wistful as it carried away with the breeze. Frank felt it brushing his skin, wrapping around him and warming him more than any blanket could.

"I never appreciated it very often." Frank murmured. "I never go out much."

"Neither do I. But I love watching the sun set from my window at home. Sometimes I go out in my backyard and lay there on the grass, I close my eyes and listen to the sounds around me. Like the birds, the leaves, dragonflies." Gerard sighed. "Sometimes I'd pretend you were there. It felt better that way."

"I'd like to do that. Laying there with you." Frank looked at Gerard and his eyes roamed all over his face to memorize his soft, angelic features. "Must feel nice."

Gerard hummed softly and finally turned his gaze to meet Frank's. He smiled sadly, eyes still slightly red from earlier, and Frank hated to see the evidence of his sadness so clear on his face. It did not belong there and the most messed up part of it was that he brought that sorrow into Gerard's pure heart. He swallowed thickly to prevent himself from choking up and making things worse.

"I'm sorry." He whispered with all the sincerity in the world. "I shouldn't have reacted to what you said the way I did. I understand why yes would be your answer to my question, it would be better off if things ended up that way. I was just thinking selfishly at the time. I . . . I really love you, you know." Frank's voice wobbled at the end. His heart was still shallowly aching and he had no clue why if Gerard was right in front of him and he was making things better. Maybe it was the possibility that he loved the latter more than he loved him. That theory did sting, worse than the sting of a bee piercing his skin. He blinked away tears and licked his dry lips.

"I never meant to hurt you." Gerard said softly and bit his bottom lip while staring at him wide glassy eyes. "I do love you, Frank, truly. If I were given a choice right now between life with you and a life with Lindsey, I would choose a life with you. I can't live without you. I only said what I said because if I had never met you, it wouldn't be hard to love Lindsey or have that picture perfect life this city expects us to live. But if there were no you, I would never find out what it means to truly love someone."

"But you don't deserve any of this, Gee." Frank's heart swelled with an overwhelming sadness that swallowed the bit of joy he felt when Gerard confessed to him such wonderful things. "You deserve happiness, not this life where we have to sneak around just to kiss each other or say I love you. I wish I could do that, I wish I could walk with you in public and show you off because you're so beautiful, I wish I could stop under a mistletoe with you during Christmas in public and kiss you in front of everyone -"

"Frank," Gerard cut in with a desperate tone of voice. He advanced, coming in and gently grabbing Frank's shoulders while looking into his eyes with the most serious glint in them Frank had ever seen. "You're all I need. In any given circumstance, all I wish for is for you to stay by my side until I die. We'll keep hidden until we run away, and we will get out of here. I don't know how but we need to try and find a way. Please, Frank, don't ever worry about not being able to do all those things with me, we don't need it." He leaned in so their forehead were pressing together. Both of their lips were parting and releasing harsh breaths because of the intensity of the conversation, all of the emotion flooding through them at once. Frank's insides were vibrating from the assault he felt on his heart, the bittersweet lashes of love and anticipation his heart was given.

"I'll stay with you for as long as you want me to." Frank whispered and shut his eyes, brushing his nose against Gerard's and giving his soft lips a tender kiss. "Just say the word and I'll follow you anywhere."

"You promise?" Gerard asked in one breath while slowly bringing his lips closer to Frank's again.

Frank braided his fingers into Gerard's hair with gentle movements. "Promise."

It was a promise sealed with a kiss. That was what made it as real as it could ever get.

—

"Battery City has its main transportation center at the heart of the city." Gerard pointed at the metro station and airport center on the map of the entire city he had splayed across the kitchen table. "There's a lot of guards and police there, of course, and in order to leave you need a UTC."

"A UTC?" Frank asked and his eyebrows pulled together.

"Universal Transport Chip." Gerard replied softly and sighed. "It looks like a golden credit card. But you need to be over twenty one to have one made. And even if we somehow were able to fake our age and our records, people are no doubt on the lookout for us."

"Then how the hell do we get one of those?" Frank squinted at the map, looking at the many paths and intersecting tunnels the metro went through.

"Unless we steal one then we can never get a UTC." Gerard paused suddenly. He took his bottom lip between his small teeth and glanced up at Frank. "Have you ever seen train jumping on TV?"

Frank met his gaze and nodded. "In movies, yeah. Why?"

"What if . . ." Gerard took the map and traced his finger all the way to where the United States was located. The large connected states were colored baby blue on the map that felt much more soothing compared to the loud lime green Battery City was colored in. "What if we hopped from train to train until we get to America? It'll be difficult but I believe we can do it."

"Gerard, we have to cross the sea, we need to catch a plane if anything." Frank hated to burst Gerard's bubble and he hated it even more when Gerard's face fell at this bit of information.

"Well, we could . . ." Gerard gazed down at the map, entranced by the United States as he brainstormed. Frank watched sadly as Gerard's expression went from hopeful, then to stressed out, then to an expression of pure exasperation. He let out a large sigh and his eyes shut as he hung his head forward, palms placed flat on the table and he hunched his shoulders.

"Why is this so difficult?" Gerard asked in defeat.

"We're not meant to run away, that's why. This city has eyes watching everyone, it's impossible to slip out without getting caught." Frank rubbed the side of his next and looked down at the wide spaced map in front of him. All the colors outside of Battery City mocked him, showing what he could not have and where he was trapped.

"In other words we'll die here. Possibly in whatever horrible place they put us in once we're discovered." Gerard said bluntly and stared ahead with a blank expression on his face. Frank flinched slightly at his words because he knew it was the truth. He just did not have the heart to agree with it. He fell silent.

"God, Frank, I'm sorry." Gerard whispered and shut his eyes tightly.

Frank's lips parted in surprise at the sudden unnecessary apology. "What are you sorry for?"

"For not being smarter and knowing how to do this." Gerard sighed in frustration and reached for the map. He crumbled it up in his hands, hands Frank never knew were capable of destruction, and threw it across the room. It landed on the floor with a small thump, rolling for a few seconds before stopping and standing still.

"None of this is your fault." Frank reminded Gerard. "I don't know how to do it either, how do teenagers like us just suddenly know how to jump on a plane without getting caught? Especially with the surveillance and the police around here."

"I know, but I could have at least -"

Suddenly, Gerard was cut off, and it was not by Frank's voice. It was a sound, a sound that had them both freezing where they stood and their blood cooled to extreme levels inside their veins. Frank heard his heart thumping in his ears after the silence enveloped the air shortly after the noise they heard. They stared at each other with wide fearful eyes, hands beginning to tremble.

There it went again.

A knock on the front door.

"Frank, Gerard?" A soft female voice spoke through the wooden door. "It's Jamia."

—
A/N: CLIFFHANGER and now I'm prepared for you to hate me.

It's getting there, guys, this fic is probably only going to have a couple more chapters, probably 6 of something. I'm really sad about that but you know, all great things must come to an end. Are you excited?

What do you think Jamia is there for?

"I wanna be the taste on your lips and the curse on your tongue."

-aprilxo