Chapter 02

Warm Presence

Mila hears the soft rumble of Abe's car and forces her eyes open. Iginala niya ang mata niya at nakitang nasa harap na sila ng isang bahay. Abe wasn't beside her, but the car was still running, so she quickly opened the door to get down, her mind still in a state of haze from her sleep. Sakto namang pababa siya ay lumabas na ng bahay si Abe.

"Kararating lang natin, don't worry." He must've seen the slight confusion on her face when he met her eyes. Dumiretso ito sa likod ng sasakyan para buksan ang trunk, and just as she was about to get one of her luggages, he gently pushed her hand away. "Ako na. Kuhanin mo na lang handbag mo sa loob."

"Mabigat 'yan, akin na isa!"

Abe clicks his tongue and lifts the luggages, his arms straining from the weight. "Nope. I can manage."

Itinulak ni Abe ang mabigat na double doors at hinawakan ito hanggang makapasok siya, and Mila gapes at the scene in front of her. The house was huge and beautiful. Her attention quickly went to the high ceiling in front of her, adorned by a massive chandelier at the center, and below it, a spacious living room area boasted luxury with its white couches with pops of color from the pillow sets and a center table made of hardwood.

"Napakayaman talaga ng taong 'to," she says underneath her breath. If this is how the living room looks, how much more lavish were the other rooms in this house?

Abe stops just as he was about to walk inside the kitchen. "Not me. My parents." Of course, Mila knows that. They've been friends for years at nakita na niya ang main house nila sa Alabang, and she'd met his parents too. To her, they were nice people. But she knew that it was a different story for Abe.

"Yeah, but this is still yours. Bigay nila sa 'yo 'to. Bigay." She waves her arms around, making a point, and turns to the dining area just to the left of the double doors. Her eyes immediately land on the vase of tulips on top of the kitchen island. They were a mix of yellow, orange, and pink tulips. "Oh, tulips!"

Abe clears his throat and walks ahead of her and into the kitchen. "Ah, binili siguro ni Pat. Mahilig 'yon sa bulaklak." Now that's a name she hadn't heard before. He sounds fond, so Mila assumes it was a close friend or relative.

"Pat?" she asks, still curious.

"Apo ni Nay Leah," Abe shrugs and lifts himself up on the stool, and as soon as he utters her name, an old woman comes walking from a room hidden beside the dining area, which Mila assumed was their quarters. Ngumiti ito nang makita sila at agad na bumaba sa upuan si Abe para magmano.

"Nay, si Mila po, kauuwi lang kanina kaya sinundo ko," Abe introduces her to Nay Leah, but she was familiar enough with the woman that she knows she was more of a mother to him than anything, and it seems that Nay Leah also recognizes the same familiarity because she pulls her in for a hug.

Mila sinks into the feeling of her embrace, remembering her own grandparent's warmth when they were still around. She wraps her arms around her body and leans her head on the crook of her shoulders, vaguely registering the smell of her clothes, a mixture of clean linen and powder. She truly felt like she was home.

"Asus, parang iba ka. Halika, dali, nagluto kami dahil baka gutom kayo mula sa byahe." She rubs her hand on her back before pulling away to look at her. "Ang tagal na kitang 'di nakita, ganda! Kumusta sa Amerika?" It was true. Long before she flew to the States, Mila hasn't seen her in years. Nagkasakit din kasi ito kaya kailangang umuwi sa probinsya para magpahinga.

"Kayo po ang kumusta?"

Despite the lines of old age on her face and the evident weight loss, Nay Leah smiles brightly. "Alive and kicking! Hindi ako basta basta mapapaptumba ng sakit sa puso, ay."

"Pero nay, uminom pa rin po kayo ng gamot, ah? Araw araw as prescribed sa inyo ng doktor." Abe insists from his seat right across from her. Tahimik itong nakikinig sa kanila ni Nay Leah.

The old woman clicks her tongue and reaches across the table to pinch Abe's arm, which earned a scowl from him. "Ito talagang doktor na 'to!"

Abe rubs his forearm and lifts his eyes to glance at Mila before returning to Nay Leah. "'Di pa po doktor, nay. Malayo pa."

"Soon to be though, right?" she interjects between them. Abe presses his lips into a thin line and turns away from her gaze. She was about to ask what that expression was for pero hinila na siya ni Nay Leah para kumain. She prepared a hot bowl of arroz caldo along with steamed dumplings.

"Alam ko kumain na kayo pero maglaman ulit kayo ng tiyan bago matulog. Kahit kaunti lang." The old woman places the steamed dumplings in front of them at hindi na makatanggi si Mila kaya tinignan niya si Abe at inginuso ang pagkain.

"Nay, kumain na po kami. Dapat 'di ka na nag-abala at nagluto pa. Napapagod ka lang." Abe gently says, but Nay Leah clearly had other plans dahil mabilis na hinampas nito ang braso ni Abe. Mila laughs a little when he hissed in pain.

"Ay, Abriel! Pabayaan mo 'ko na magtrabaho," she waves her hand, smiling. The smile lines just above her lips tells her that she smiled often.

"Abriel," Abe whispers with a tinge of annoyance. He hates being called by his real name since she met him at hindi pa rin nagbabago ito.

Mila picks up her soup spoon and gently pulls the bowl towards her. "Oo nga, Abriel, kumain ka na lang ng luto ni Nay Leah kaysa magreklamo ka r'yan."

Abe turns and pulls himself up on the stool next to her, grumbling, before separating his chopsticks and picking a piece of dumpling from the bamboo steam. "Hmm," he hums in approval. Agad napatingin si Mila sa kanya at ngumiti. "What? Masarap."

"Nothing," she laughs, biting her own chopsticks between her teeth. She didn't know why she found that oddly adorable.

"Pagkatapos niyan ay magpahinga na rin kayo. Sumilip lang talaga ako at siniguro na nakarating kayo." Nay Leah tugs her brown shawl over her body. "Bukas maaga kami maghahanda ng almusal ng mga bisita n'yo."

Mila's eyes soften. She missed being taken care of. "Thank you, nay."

Nang makaalis ang matanda ay tumayo si Abe para magsimulang magtimpla ng kape. "Do you want one?" he asks. Mila shakes her head and dugs in her arroz caldo.

"Ba't ka magkakape?"

Abe taps his fingers over the counter as he waits for the coffee machine. The steady whirring breaking the silence in the otherwise quiet kitchen. "I need to study," he says before pouring the coffee.

"What?! Study? May bisita ka. Nasa bakasyon tayo." Mila's brows stitch together in annoyance. He isn't seriously going to ditch them for his readings, is he? Then again, this is Abe she's talking to. He would ditch anyone for his books.

His brow rose at her, still stirring his coffee, the strong aroma hitting Mila's senses. "You'll be fine." She watches him take a sip on his mug, standing directly in her line of sight. He still wore his usual Patek Philippe silver wristwatch and his black rimmed glasses.

Pinagpag ni Mila ang kamay niya bago pumangalumbaba. She keeps her eyes on him and watches him lift his gaze from his mug, allowing the steam to fog his glasses a little. "What?" tanong nito nang hindi siya magsalita.

"So. . . tell me about med school. All the nitty gritty! Dali! I wanna know."

A soft snort cracks between Abe's lips. Marahan nitong ipinatong ang tasa sa kitchen island. "What's there to know? 'Di pa nga ako nakakaisang taon."

"So? Kwentuhan mo pa rin ako. Dali, hanggang mamaya pa ako gising. I have alllll the time in the world." She drags out her words to annoy him and hopes that he'll open up a little bit. Abe has always been tough to crack. His personality—slightly aloof and often straightforward—meant that some people didn't appreciate his opinions. And he had loads of them.

Umiling ito at lumakad papunta sa staircase. "There's really nothing to tell. Kukuhanin ko lang laptop ko, diyan ka lang."

Her eyes widens. "Abe, wait! 'Di pa ako tapos kumain!" She hurriedly forks the dumpling and puts it in her mouth, almost spitting it back out because of how hot it was.

A soft chuckle rings in her ear. "Make sure you clean after yourself. Hugasan mo pinggan mo." Agad niyang sinamaan ito ng tingin.

"Sandali, sabi! Don't leave me here!

Abe stands at the foot of the stairs with his brows stitched together. "Bababa rin ako. 5 minutes tops."

"Okay. . . but like. . . mag-isa ako dito. What if may mumu?"

Abe heaves a deep sigh from his chest. "Fine. Iwan mo na muna 'yan."

Mila immediately stands and runs to him, leaving behind her plate. Napailing ito nang unahan niya pang umakyat papunta sa second floor.

Abe pushes a door open to one of the rooms. "May isang malaking kama dito tapos may pull out din sa ilalim. Pinalinis ko na so don't worry."

"Parang kasing laki na 'to ng bahay namin, I swear. What do you do with all your money?" Mila didn't mean it as a question that he needed to answer, but he still does.

"Med school is expensive so most of it goes there. House maintenance. Car. Gas. Food. Sweldo ni Nay Leah at Pat."

Mila walks toward the bed and sits on the edge, her fingers pushing through the soft mattress beneath her. "Pati sa main house sa Alabang?"

He nods and bends down to pull the foam underneath. "Wala na rin namang tao do'n bukod sa 'kin minsan."

Mila wiggles her eyebrows at him, still sitting atop the bed. "Just so you know, pwede naman ako maging taong bahay sa inyo. I mean, with that huge of a house, tapos mag-isa lang ako? Sign me up!"

Hindi napigilang tumawa ni Abe. His laugh rings in Mila's ears like a familiar beat. Another odd thing she noticed ever since she got back. Hindi niya alam kung ano'ng nangyari magmula nung umalis siya. "I'm serious, Abe! Uuwi ulit ako kung sa bahay n'yo ako titira."

Umiling lamang ito habang hinihila ang kama. Mila watches him and wonders how she can crack the truth out of him. Because the expression he made earlier told her he wasn't being very truthful.

⚘

She didn't know how they ended up on his bed, with him typing on his laptop, his body leaning on the headboard, while she lay flat on her back beside him. Binuksan nito ang TV sa harap ng kama niya pero wala ang atensyon ni Mila sa palabas.

The huge white bed was almost too big for them, ilang pulgada pa ang pagitan nila, but she feels his presence beside her nonetheless. A warm and comforting energy that she never knew she needed until now. Kahit na busy itong mag-aral at mas gusto pang kaharap ang laptop kaysa sa kanya.

A small and lonely bag of Cheetos sat on top of her stomach. Nakabukas ito pero kanina pa niya tinigilan kainin. She didn't want to choke while lying down and for sure, patatayuin lang din siya ni Abe.

"Cheetos," he says quietly, his tone laced with playfulness. The corner of his lips curved up as his fingers hit the keyboard repeatedly.

Mila rolls her eyes at him. "Stop that! Just because orange ang buhok ko ngayon, tatawagin mo na akong chichirya. I'll dye it brown next time, you'll see."

Abe keeps his lips sealed for a moment, then from her peripheral view, Mila sees him glance at her. "Bagay nga sa 'yo."

Mila turns her head towards his direction in surprise. "It makes your fair skin pop," he adds without looking at her. Like he knew exactly what she'd say next.

Despite herself, Mila smiles. He can be charming when he wanted to be. "Okay, pero 'wag mo na akong tawaging Cheetos." She warns and points her index finger at him.

"Not a chance."

Mila stuck her tongue out at him even though his eyes were trained on the screen, a slight furrow sat between his brows. Abe rarely talked about his own problems with his friends, her included. Madalas ito nakikinig sa kanila, but never the one to tell them his own burdens. Tumagilid si Mila para nakaharap siya rito, and then asked, "So. . . stressed ka sa med school?"

Abe lifts his gaze up from the screen to meet her gaze, his mouth twitching. "You really won't let it go, huh?"

Mila shakes her head and lets it fall on her open palm. She leans on it and patiently waits for him to speak again. "I know you. If I stop prying, never mo na sasabihin sa 'kin." And I would really like to find out, she wanted to add. She wants to know why he didn't seem as excited anymore when the topic of his studies came up. She wants to know what tampered the fire in him to pursue this path.

Abe rubs the space between his brows and sighs. Dahan-dahan nitong inalis ang salamin at itinupi. "It's just. . . I don't know if going to med school was the right thing to do."

"You've wanted that since we were in high school—nung nakilala kita. What changed?"

"I don't know," he says, and a small sigh leaves his lips. He leans back on the headboard and turns his head to her. Mila's heart softened as soon as their eyes made contact.

"When you've figured it out, sabihin mo sa 'kin ha? Or anyone of us." She didn't want him to suffer alone like she did. She was just lucky that she was busy when she moved to the States, it took away her time to grieve for everything—for Jachin, who she'd knowingly hurt, for her mother who was so helpless, and for the life she was leaving behind. "Mahirap magtago ng nararamdaman. It eats away a part of you."

Abe holds her gaze, and the solemn emotion simmering in its depths made Mila decide to be more present for her friends. Ayaw niyang maramdaman ng mga ito na nag-iisa sila.

"How's Tita?"

She knew it was his way of stirring the conversation away from him, and she let him, just for today. "She's. . . the same." The last word is like recycled thought that Mila says on default whenever she's asked. Because what can she say? Sasabihin niya bang hindi bumubuti ang kalagayan nito? Na wala na siyang magawa kung 'di iparamdam dito na may nagmamahal pa sa kanya?

Things wouldn't change for her no matter what she says.

"The treatment isn't making any progress for her?"

Mila slowly shakes her head. "Parang at this point, she's just waiting. She told me that, you know? Hinihintay niya na lang na. . . sumuko ang katawan niya." She bites her lower lip in an effort to hold back her tears. Now that she wasn't thinking of anything else, ngayon siya dinadalaw ng lungkot. "It's like she's giving up, and I don't know how to convince her na lumaban pa kasi kaya ko namang gawin lahat para tulungan siya."

Silence hung between them for a while. They both didn't find the need to say something else, and it was, perhaps, their quiet understanding of each other. "Anong sabi ng Dad mo?" Abe finally speaks his mind.

"I stopped trying with them. Hindi na 'ko nagri-reach out o humihingi ng tulong sa kanila. Hindi na rin ako tumatawag. If Dad wanted to see her, he would have already did. Same goes sa mga kapatid ko."

The television bursts with the sound of gunfire from the action film that he absentmindedly picked for her, but Mila's mind was anywhere but here. Part of it ay nasa nanay niya na nasa States, and part of it was with Jachin—still him.

"Are you ready to see him again?" Abe asks like he read her mind, like he knew that Jachin frequently occupied her mind in the long months that she was away. He probably did, knowing how deep his knowledge was of science, and yet her pulse jumped at his question. Is she? She doesn't quite know. Kaya niya bang harapin ito? Kaya niya bang tignan ito at hindi makaramdam ng panghihinayang?

It's been months since they last spoke to each other, and even then, hindi dire-diretsong pag-uusap, mostly kapag nasa group chat lang sila. He never messaged her and neither did she. "Of course. He's my friend." She lies through her teeth and clenches her fist beneath the thick duvet, hoping that Abe will take the hint and drop the subject.

"Are you going to sleep here? May kwarto naman kayo."

Tumaas ang kilay niya at bumaling dito. "Pinapaalis mo na ba ako?"

Abe snorts and shifts his eyes to his laptop. "If you fall asleep, iiwan kita rito sa kwarto ko."

"Abe!" she reaches for him and slaps his arm, earning a soft groan from him. "Bantayan mo 'ko habang natutulog ako, ah." Nang hindi ito sumagot ay sinundot niya ang tagiliran nito, his body reacted on reflex and he desperately tried to angle it away from her without falling off the bed completely.

"Okay, okay!" he relents when she doesn't stop poking his stomach. "Fine."

The last thing her conscious mind registered was a soft touch and warm fingers pulling her stray bangs away from her eyelids, before she plunges deep into slumber.

#omtlwp