Once at home, halmeoni gets to hear about my fainting right as Yoongi leaves our home after hugging me tightly, and it doesn't take thirty minutes before a knock on the front door echoes in the empty apartment.

I tiredly stand from the couch and carefully make my way to the door, then open it to find her on the other side with a purple bag in her hands, and looking at how heavy it seems to be with the way she struggles to lift it up, she filled it much more than necessary.

"Yoongi dear told me that you fainted again today, sweetheart. I made you a lot of food so you can eat well and recover, take this bag and eat as much as you can, okay? Put the rest in the fridge for when you're hungry, he told me you won't be back to work this week" she says with a warmhearted voice. She really is the best mother figure anyone could ask for.

I accept the bag gratefully before stepping forward to hug her frail body gently. "Thank you, halmeoni" I murmur against her shoulder, heart trembling the slightest bit at the love she shares so easily with us.

She hugs me back with a sigh and a soft pat to my back. "You need to take care of your health, sweetheart. I've come to see you like my own daughter, it makes me sad when you're sick".

I hide my face in her neck at those words, eyes filling with tears but heart swelling so much it might burst. What did I do to end up being so nicely surrounded? Was this cancer a malediction, was it a blessing in disguise?

"I promise I'll be careful, halmeoni, thank you so much for taking care of us the way you do. You're like a mother to us, you know we don't have our parents anymore so you and halabuji are truly like family to us" I answer with a weak sniffle, and she squeezes me tighter before pulling back to pat my cheeks fondly, her eyes shining under the weak light of the building's hall.

"And you are family to us, that will never change. Now go back inside and have a meal before resting, okay? Don't watch TV for too long, you need to give your head a break" she demands with a maternal frown, one I cannot resist even if I wanted to.

I nod sheepishly, and we share one last hug before she closes the door for me.

I clear my throat, the sudden emotions dimming back to a normal flow while I walk to the kitchen to empty the bag, eyes widening at all that she made, the containers are huge! The guys will be happy to see the fridge filled with homemade food, they can eat some for dinner and there will be plenty left for the next few days, halmeoni is amazing.

I grab a few side dishes with a main dish and settle myself at the dining table to eat without distractions. Then, I'll go to bed and sleep as much as possible. I do feel exhausted after what happened this morning combined with yesterday.

All those emotions that come and go, it's draining.

I just want to feel better quickly so that I can have my moment with Namjoon, without him having to worry about my state. I so dearly want those kisses he spoke of, Namjoon has a way to make me see stars when his lips dance with my own.

So I'll be good, I'll rest well, and then I'll allow myself to melt in his arms, just the way we both desire.

---

A faint knocking on a door stirs me out of the deep sleep I had fallen into before it opens, followed by hushed words. I sleepily turn in my bed to have a look at my closed door, did Hobi come back from work?

I let my head fall on my pillow with a short exhale. I should start getting ready before Namjoon gets here. I did want to wear some makeup for him. For Jin and Namjoon, it was something I used to enjoy doing.

I chuckle to myself, my sleepy mind still in disbelief over my situation. I wonder if it will ever sink in that they're actually back, that we finally got a second chance at fulfilling our love. Am I just having a very long dream? If so, I wish I'd never wake up.

"Bun? Are you still sleeping?" I hear Hoseok ask softly, to which I deny with a hum. He opens my door only to huff at my sprawled position on the bed. "Did you not set an alarm? Did you sleep all this time until now?"

I pause at the strange questions, eyebrows furrowing before I grab my phone, the bright light blinding me momentarily until I get a look at the time. Namjoon was supposed to come get me at... oh no!

I sit up with a gasp right as Namjoon appears to stand behind Hoseok, and I lift a hand up to my gaping mouth as realization dawns on me. I'm late. I must look terrible with how many times I twisted and turned in bed and here he is ready to take me away.

"I'm so sorry Namjoon. Oh my gosh, of all days to oversleep, it had to me today. I'll get ready quickly, I won't take long I swear" I blurt out as I stumble out of bed to run to my closet first, but the both of them immediately step forward in an attempt to stop me and I pause, eyes blinking at their duo in confusion.

Namjoon's brows are into a frown, his eyes looking me over as if to see if I got hurt anywhere, and I just know. Hoseok told him about what happened earlier. I turn a gaze filled with betrayal to my best friend.

"You told him about what happened this morning?" I ask, disappointment obvious in my voice, it takes him a moment to process before he understands, and then he's shaking his head like our friendship is on the line.

"No! No, I didn't say anything, bun. It was halmeoni, she was talking to her puppy and Namjoon overheard everything" he explains quickly while Namjoon rests a hand over the small of my back to guide me back to my bed, where he makes me sit.

I look up at him bashfully as he cups my cheeks to turn my face left and right, thumbs massaging over my eyebrows with a focused face. It's something simple that always appeases me, and I struggle to keep my eyes open after only a minute. He hums softly at the sight.

"How are you feeling, kitten? Do you feel up for going out? We don't have to go if you're still tired".

My head leans into his palms as he keeps caressing my face, I already feel much more rested now thanks to him. "I'm feeling fine, Namjoon. I slept for hours, so I fear that I might actually struggle falling asleep tonight. I want to go out with you, I can do it".

He doesn't answer, instead moving his fingers to comb through my messy hair from the front of the back, nails dragging against my scalp that causes my eyes to nearly roll back in my head. It makes his heart fill with pride, he missed having that effect on me.

"Alright then, I'll go wait for you with Hoseok okay? Take your time, it's not a race".

A whine locks in the back of my throat when he pulls back, and I watch as he walks to the door before stopping in the frame, a new tenseness in his body. "Oh right. I... uh. It's possible that I might have told Jin about your fainting and... it's possible that he might be waiting for your call at the moment so... yeah, please call him, kitten".

And then he's out, door closing behind him to flee my gasp.

"Namjoon!"

"Sorry!"

I swear it's as if nothing ever changed with them!

I grab my phone again with a huff and unlock it to have a look at my notifications, and indeed, I find a message from Jin that was sent just two minutes ago asking me to call him as soon as possible, that he's worried.

I sigh before pressing on the call button, I wouldn't want him to think I'm badly sick when I really am fine. What did Namjoon tell him?

It rings for four brief seconds before the other side of the line picks up and he speaks up right away. 'Baby! Are you okay? How are you feeling? You know your dinner with Namjoon can wait if you don't feel good, he won't be mad at you, your health comes first, you-'

"Jin, Jinnie, breathe. I'm fine. I had a good meal for lunch, halmeoni brought a lot of food for me, and then I slept for hours. I just woke up. I feel fine, I promise" I stop him before he spirals down too fast, and he inhales deeply before exhaling for longer to calm himself.

'Are you sure? Because we're not going anywhere, love, if it's not today, it's going to be tomorrow, and the day after that. Every single day from now on, we'll do everything we can to see you at least once a day. You're not losing us just because you take one day to rest' he insists, needing to be sure that I know.

I smile as I fall to my back on the bed. I shouldn't feel happy that he worries so much. "I'm very sure, Jinnie. I'm going to have the rest of the week off anyway. It's going to be boring being alone at home but... Hoseok and Yoongi won't have it any other way".

'Really? That's good then... very good". He sighs softly before continuing. "Say, baby... if I were to tell you that you could rest and not be alone, would you be up for it?'

I tilt my head at his curious question. "Don't you have work, Jinnie? I wouldn't want to be in your way, if that's what you're offering".

'I do have work, but I can afford to spend time with you once in a while. You see, at work we have this large hall that serves as a break room that's filled with animal. We call it the oasis. You could spend the day with them, and I'm sure you'd have a lot of fun. They'd be good napping buddies' he offers sweetly and... animals? They have animals where he works?

"Can... can I really? Am I allowed?" I ask with a hopeful voice. What if his boss asks questions? Wouldn't that put Jin in trouble?

He hums out a pleased sound. 'Of course you can, baby. I wouldn't offer otherwise'.

"Then I'd love that" I muse with glee, I can't believe I get to spend the day with animals AND Jin!

'Alright. I'll come pick you up tomorrow morning, same time as today. Namjoon won't be there because he needs to leave early for work but knowing him, he might come by during lunch time, we could share a meal together then'.

"That sounds wonderful, Jinnie".

'Good, we'll proceed that way then. Namjoon will start to be impatient if I keep you on the phone any longer, so I'll let you get ready. Thank you for calling me so quickly, love, have fun with him and I'll see you tomorrow. I love you baby'.

My heart skips a beat at his last words, my soul cradles them like a treasure needing to be kept safe, and I melt on the spot. "I love you too, Jinnie".

Something clings on the floor on the other side of the line before I hear him groan and I giggle, did he just drop something on his foot? That wouldn't surprise me, he must not have expected to hear it back.

'Oh baby. Tomorrow morning, I'm kissing you like the end of the world is near, you should prepare yourself' he warns with a low voice before ending the call just as abruptly, and I laugh to myself while rolling in bed.

It didn't take much to bring him to that state. Would Namjoon react the same way, were I to say I love you to him?

With a tomorrow filled with promises, I stand up once more to find myself something pretty to wear, and while I would love to wear makeup for Namjoon, it will have to wait for another time because I don't want to waste our precious time.

He has to be back to work later, so we need to keep that in mind.

I get dressed into my chosen outfit, brush my hair, then opt for just a little bit of mascara after passing by it once too many times. He probably won't even notice, but it's a little something that makes me feel just a little prettier.

I leave my room and head to the living room where I find Namjoon and Hoseok in deep conversation about what the former's day consisted of, something I'm also curious about. I listen discreetly from where I stand, with only my head peeking into the open room.

"Right, we had to deal with many calls today. There's this new murder case that we've gotten recently, so tomorrow will be spent meeting up with the victim's family, as well as some witnesses that were around at the time of the crime. It's going to be difficult to talk to the family, but it's part of the job. I feel bad for them".

"Oh, it must be so hard having to deal with the victims' families whenever something like this happen... and you said earlier that it can take months to get some evidence for the DNA and fingerprints, they must get very impatient when they can't get the peace of mind that they seek quickly".

Namjoon hums deeply at that.

"It's never a fun time, but knowing that we work hard for them, it brings them some comfort, and it's worth the trouble when justice is served. Closing cases that have been ongoing for months is something I love about my job. My partner and I are so efficient together that they deemed us inseparable. The kid's really smart, he's talented and it's an honor to be working with him".

"I know you are everything you just said too, Namjoon. Being a detective is not a job given to everyone" I muse before stepping into the smaller room to join with them. He startles at the sound of my voice, surprised that I managed to sneak up on him like that.

He turns around to stare at me and pauses, eyes filling with love as he takes me in. I feel myself heat up under his gaze, it feels just like the first time we met.

"Kitten, oh baby, you look beautiful" he murmurs before standing up to come stand in front of me, arms wrapping around my waist to loosely hug me. I preen under his staring, eyes creasing happily at the compliment before he kisses my forehead tenderly.

"Are you ready? Shall we go?" he asks sweetly, and I nod my head before turning my attention to Hoseok as he yawns. He catches me staring and waves a hand to shoo us away while closing his mouth.

"The sooner you leave, the more I get to sleep, go go go".

"You were the first to insist that I take it easy after fainting and now you want me to hurry up and leave?"

"You're right, maybe you should stay here after all. Sorry Namjoon, I guess you two can't have this date today. Maybe try again another day?"

"No! I'll go! I'm leaving!" I exclaim before slipping out of the giant man's hold to run to the entrance and wear my shoes while they laugh at me. He's not keeping me locked in here, not when I've been thinking about this moment all day.

"I thought so, you lazy bun. Namjoon, please take good care of her. You have my number if anything happens, but I'm pretty sure she's going to be alright. She's never fainted twice in the same day. Just avoid overwhelming her, it's important that she takes it easy for the week" Hoseok says with a more serious tone of voice as he follows Namjoon to the entrance where I stand.

"Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on her. I reserved a private room in a calm environment, so it should be fine" Namjoon reassures him before sliding a hand over my waist when he sees me still struggling to put on my second shoe.

"Need some help kitten?" I hear his croon, a hint of amusement in his voice as he holds me steady. I grumble a no just as the laces finally come undone, and once worn and tied properly, I stand up tall and proud, and Hoseok snorts.

"Don't laugh. Go to bed, Hobi, you look like shit".

He hums with a few more chuckles before motioning for us to go away. "I'll rest until Yoongi comes back home, don't worry. Have fun out there".

Namjoon opens the door and waits for me to step outside before closing it, leaving behind us a man who's sure to sleep just like I did.

The lock turns, and I nod my head in satisfaction before looking down when Namjoon takes my hand in his. Our fingers slowly intertwine, and it's as if home never left me. Or rather, it's as if I never left.

We begin walking down the hall side by side, our pace slowly and comfortable. "Yesterday was very sudden for everyone, but how do you feel today, kitten? You look calmer".

"I feel calmer. It's... nice. I'm really glad you're here, Namjoon. I missed you" I answer with a shy smile, and he would kiss me right there if he wasn't trying to be a gentleman. He leads me to a car outside, not uselessly fancy or anything of the kind. It's the kind of car you'd expect to find anywhere.

"We missed you too" he murmurs as we stop next to the vehicle. He turns to face me, a hand cupping my cheek as he takes me in with longing eyes, almost starved as he looks over every inch of skin before him.

"We searched for you, Y/N. We tried to find you, we really did. That's all we wanted, all we could think of, every single day, every night. To have you back... it's like we can finally breathe again. We're not ever letting you go another time, never, I hope you know that. From now on, wherever you go, we will go, I promise. No more being left alone, it's too painful".

Oh Namjoon...

I bring my free hand to cup his cheek, thumb running underneath his eye to remove the tear that fled. The pain I made us go through... I can never be forgiven for it, I regret it so much.

"I'm sorry for leaving you" I murmur, a lump in my throat that makes my voice sound squeezed. He leans his face into my touch with scrunched eyebrows, as if it's taking everything in him to not burst into tears. My heart breaks at the sight, because I did this to him, to Jin, I did.

"I thought I was doing the right thing but... I wasn't, it wasn't what I should've done. I'm sorry, so sorry" I apologize to him with a wobbling chin, I don't think I could ever apologize enough for all the suffering I caused.

I made it so hard for us, and I can't tell anymore if seeing me go through cancer would've been worse than what ended up happening. Would it have been so bad, for us to stay together until the very end?

Could I ever let them know, one day, that I left thinking I was doing the right thing? That at the time, saving them from the pain of losing me was the best I could do for them? That them never hearing about me ever again sounded much better than them having to plan a funeral for me with money we didn't have?

Could I ever let them know exactly how much I cried for them when I was at the bottom of the world, stuck in a hole that wouldn't let me see the light of day?

When my body was in pain and all I could think of was their warmth as they hugged me, something that never came no matter how much I prayed for it, could I ever let them know that I went through that thinking it was keeping them free of unnecessary pain?

Could I ever tell them that at some point, I truly believed that my death was the only thing that could be achieved, that my giving up on them had also meant giving up on myself?

"Come here, kitten" Namjoon manages to say through his tears before pulling me into his chest, my head cradled with his large hand as he hugs me tightly to him, his beating heart loud under my ear. It always felt safest here, in his arms. Even when we were at the bottom, shadows of ourselves, their arms always felt the safest to me.

How many nights did I spent dreaming of this?

"You did nothing wrong, kitten" he murmurs as he rests his cheek on top of my head, his arms tight around my shoulders.

"We got stronger thanks to the past. We learned a lot from your absence, we really did. We had taken you for granted, and that was the worst thing we could have done. We took you for granted and we disappointed you so often, we could finally see that when you left".

I shake my head, I want to say that he's wrong, but he continues before I can say anything.

"You were a safe haven for us, but we used this safety you provided to hide from ourselves instead of using it as a resting place to come back to after trying and failing. We took the easy way out every single time. When you left, it was like a veil had lifted and revealed all of our ugly truths. It gave us the strength to change, god knew we had to change if we wanted you back".

I close my eyes as his lips press on my temple.

"We were terrified of never finding you again. The biggest part of our soul was somewhere out there, trying to seek freedom from a world of addiction. It's what pushed us to give life the best we had to offer, kitten. We wanted to be worthy of getting you back, we wanted to give you a reason to stay, so don't apologize. If anything, it's Jin and I who need to apologize".

He pulls back softly to dry my cheeks with his thumbs, eyes looking glassy, but also relieved. As if he needed to say this, to rid his heart of a weight he carried for years.

"We pushed you to your limit. We couldn't take care of you the way you needed, and we didn't do enough to show you that we could have done anything together because we would have lied. We were weak back then, unworthy of you, but I promise you, this time we're worthy. I know we are. It's time you come back home, kitten, we need you so fucking much".

My tears flow freely as he speaks, because the emotions that make his voice tremble are raw and sincere. It shows me exactly how strong our love has remained throughout the years, how much stronger it has gotten, and I honestly never thought it could be possible, for a love to grow under such circumstances.

I grab his cheeks to make him look at me, because despite the love in his voice, the words he speaks break my heart.

"Namjoon, I never, absolutely never thought even once that you were weak and unworthy, never. You two were my strength, you were the light that made me fight, that made me seek the end of that terrifying, silent road. You have no idea the power you hold over me still to this day, so please don't think for one second that you weren't good for me. Without you, today I-"

I might not still be of this world.

The words die on the tip of my tongue, but Namjoon seems to understand either way, because his lips moves with heartbreak before he pushes his forehead against mine. Why did we have to go through this nightmare in the first place?

"You know, I was ready for the possibility that you and Jin would hate me. I was ready for that to happen, and it would have destroyed me, but I know I would have deserved it" I admit weakly. Namjoon's eyes meet mine, sharp and angry, not at me, but at the thought that filled my mind.

"Never, and I mean never, think like that ever again, do you hear me? Jin and I, we could never hate you, kitten. We knew you were in pain, that you loved us so dearly when you walked out, and we let you go anyway. If anything, you should be the one hating us. We didn't give you any reason not to".

I let out a tiny chuckle. "So you can believe that I hated you, but I can't?" I ask him, watch as his teary eyes crease the slightest bit as he sees where I'm coming from. "It's in the past, now. Let's focus on the present. On the now. We're back together, and we'll remain together. That's how it goes, right?"

He nods against my head. "Yeah, that's how it goes. Together, forever".

I clear my throat lightly to try and bring a stop to the tears, shouldn't we get a move on if we want to reach whatever place it is that he got a reservation at? They're going to be so confused when we get there with red, puffy eyes.

I pat his back softly, fingers reaching into the hair at his nape for a gentle squeeze that helps him calm down. He takes a moment to just breathe before he's pulling back to gaze at me with wet eyes and cheeks, a small laugh leaving him at our state.

"How romantic this is, the both of us crying in a parking lot before going for dinner. I do believe every dates begin the same way" he makes an attempt at a joke, eyes quickly scanning the surroundings, a little bashful. No one saw that, right?

"Other people can't have what we have, they can only dream of it. I think bearing your heart open for the other is very romantic. Besides, you know I hate it when people would rather stay silent and wallow in their emotions rather than try to fix the problem at the source" I tell him with a grin.

He chuckles, cheeks blushing a little at the reminder. "I know... you and Jin made me go through one heck of a day when you decided that you wouldn't sleep until I'd speak. I made us stay up all night because I was so stubborn".

"And then you saw me eat a snack while I was fighting my exhaustion. I choked on it and you suddenly decided that now was the time to let me know that these were your snacks and that you would prefer I stick to mine, all while Jin was helping me get through my coughing. The scolding he gave you after that... he couldn't believe what he'd just heard" I continue with a laugh, Namjoon hides his face in my neck with a groan.

"I was so stupid back then" he mutters, to which I kiss his cheek.

"But that was also the start of a healthy communication. It might have been only snacks, but it was bothering you and saying it aloud finally brought a solution to something that was causing you discomfort. You did start sharing more often after that. Keeping a frustration under silence only makes it increase disproportionately, we were so proud of you when you finally understood that".

"You can eat all my snacks now if you want, I won't get mad anymore" he mumbles, and I burst into laughter, the shaking of my shoulders bringing a smile to his lips.

"Thank you Namjoon, I'll definitely make use of that offer when I have the chance".

We both smile to each other, and he makes use of that moment to open the passenger's door so I can finally sit inside. The time sis ticking by and it would be such a shame to skip our dinner together.

"Alright, let's go get us some food, and then I'm getting my kisses. I'm not having them in the car" he states all serious as he sits in the driver's seat, a pleased look on his face when a blush quickly moves to coat my cheeks.

"That's funny because Jin said he'd kiss me tomorrow morning and I'm pretty sure he meant in the car, to each their own" I muse, only to burst into laughter when he snaps his head my way with surprised eyes.

He stares down at my lips as if he's second guessing his decision but I tut him and point at the road in front of us as I buckle in. "Your decision was made. No kisses in the car. You should drive now, we're already late".

"Aish, I shouldn't have said that".

He grunts before wearing his own seat belt with a light frown.

"It's fine, I'll get them later anyway".

And I can't wait for it to happen.