You both walked in the apartment, the air between you was tense all of a sudden.

She looked guilty, you weren't sure if you were imagining things, but she just knew something was coming for her.

There was no one else you had in common with Hoseok, so you were almost positive whatever was going on involved her and you were trying not to get ahead of yourself.

"Did you say something to Hoseok about me?" the question caught her by surprise, maybe she had not been looking at you with those puppy eyes because she knew what was up.

"Why are you asking me this now?" she had always been so patient, in contrast with your frustrated tone, she sounded calm. You almost felt bad for accusing her. There was no one else though.

"Well, we were talking about how he closed the door just when you arrived, we should continue the conversation" you had to resist giving into her and letting this go. This was exactly why you couldn't be more than friends.

You hated the way she made you feel weak, how she could easily convince you to move on. The illusion of no complications, however, did not mean they were absent.

"I figured he had things to do, it's not such a big deal. We don't even talk that much at work. What's with you tonight?" Miyoung crossed her arms looking offended, but you knew this all too well.

"You see, before he did, he implied there was something wrong between us" your stern tone had her swallowing and looking away, lips pressed together.

You'd known Miyoung for way too long not to know when you caught her and her bullshit. You loved her dearly, she was caring and understanding. But she had one fatal flaw you couldn't overlook.

That had been the reason you had broken up with her long ago and, while you knew you were playing with fire, you'd agreed to let her back in because of the familiarity.

She was comforting, she felt like home and when you were back in your giant apartment, you just hated being on your own.

This was were you were supposed to feel your best, but you hated it. The silence was deafening, the heat you gathered in bed couldn't seem to warm you up to the bone.

It was just sad. You felt sad. So you made an arrangement with your ex-girlfriend, because that's the only thing you could do with your lifestyle.

"What did you tell him?" you demanded and she shifted on her feet. For being the eldest of the two, she could be pretty immature sometimes.

"I-I didn't..." she stuttered, tears brimming in her eyes knowing well she had screwed up.

"We can't do this anymore, whatever it was, Hoseok seems to be under the impression I'm playing around and you know I'm not. I was clear from the very first day" your no non-sense attitude was intimidating and Miyoung let her head hang as she cried into her hands.

"I'm sorry. I just came across him one day and he asked if i lived here. It was dumb, I was just wishful thinking when I said you did...my girlfriend."

Bringing a hand to your forehead, you growled frustrated. You should have never agreed to be friends with benefits with her, she just wasn't the type who could leave her feelings to a side.

You felt responsible for this, you'd been selfish, but you had never mislead her or tried to get her hopes up. She was a grown woman who agreed to conditions she chose to ignore.

"We've talked about this a thousand times, Mimi" you sighed and wrapped her up in a hug. She bitterly cried and, as stubborn as she was, she didn't want to give up.

"It was just wishful thinking, I know we can't" Miyoung tried to excuse herself, but this was not the first time she had tried to mark her territory. Territory that was no one's but yours.

"You know the situation itself clearly shows me you don't? You knew what I thought of my neighbor and you went and made it clear that I was off-limits" you knew her intentions and yet she didn't want to admit her jealousy and clinginess always got the best of her.

"I didn't mean it that way!" she raised her voice and you pulled back, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"I know, it's just what you do! It keeps happening and it won't change, you know that. I'm a free spirit, you can't tie me down and make me what you want me to be! That is not who I am!" your voice was loud and clear, full of conviction, but your heart ached as you explained yourself for the umpteenth time.

"Are you not going out, making out and sleeping with whomever to your heart's content?" Miyoung spat out not believing your words, but she was fooling herself.

"That you don't want to see other people is your choice. We were never exclusive, we are not together and we won't ever be" she could be suffocating and you felt like you were choking.

"Seriously? I let you fuck around without saying a word about it and you still can't get enough? How much more freedom do you need? You are afraid of commitment, I'm not holding you back!" Miyoung's angry tears ran down her face as she strained her throat to get the words out.

"You don't understand" you answered coldly, hurt that she thought so ill of you. You thought seeing other people would make it clear you were not to become attached.

Miyoung seemed to be handling it well, better than you'd expected. Maybe she really was trying to change, to not be so possesive. You had thought, but you were wrong.

"Tell me, is it that you need a man in the relationship?" Miyoung said with a shaky voice, her tone only slightly louder than a whisper.

"Miyoung, we are not in a relationship and you are gay anyway, what are you even saying?" you were so confused by her troubled thought processes.

"I don't know, maybe then you'd commit. You can't have it all" her words stung. It's like she didn't even know you, she was blinded by her false hopes.

"Listen, there's no instance in which we can be in a relationship, be it open or with someone else. It's you and I that can't be together. It is not happening, Miyoung. This arrangement is over, it clearly is not working" your voice remained firm, but unlike her, you never raised it.

You silently opened the door so she could go and that's when it finally hit her that she had crossed a line. All those things she had said because she was hurt and upset were not true.

She couldn't apologize though, she loved you too much not to agree to the only way in which she could have you. Even if it tore her apart to know you didn't love her.

When Miyoung stepped out onto the hallway, her face was stained and puffy. It was the worst moment for your neighbor to come out of his apartment.

As your ex-girlfriend walked down the hallway towards the elevator which was closest to his door, you stopped breathing.

Hoseok glanced at her face briefly trying not to be too obvious as he walked across to take out the trash.

After closing the door to the shared bin and as he walked back, he shot you the most intense glare anyone had ever directed at you.

You didn't look away but, as soon as he was out of sight, a hot tear rolled down your cheek and you choked out a sob you'd been holding back for way too long.

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