🔞

"I do, I trust you, but I can't do it right away," you answered bouncing lightly on the couch, unable to stay still from how uneasy you felt

"We can do this all night, we don't have to get right into it," Hobi tried to comfort you, but you didn't look any less anxious.

"Will you tell me what don't you like? That way we'll both know what won't happen. I know you like being all mysterious, but that would help, right?" you laughed at his words, but he was probably right.

"Please don't hit me. No spanking, slapping, flogging, whipping, cane-" you sounded kind of panicky, like it went beyond just not liking it and Hobi furrowed his eyebrows.

"Aein...has someone hurt you?" he sounded really worried and was ready to drop everything even if a few minutes ago he didn't even want to stop for the phone ringing.

"I've gone through some things because of my sexuality, but I don't want to talk about it now, baby. Let's leave that for later."

Hobi understood the need to set things aside momentarily to cope so he didn't insist. It made his heart ache, however, that someone else could have physically hurt you on purpose and it angered him.

He was going to put that to a side too and channel that anger onto what you wanted and needed. For him to just stop being guarded, to let go for you.

You weren't the only one who had been preparing for this moment. He had actually read a lot about your condition* and how to make it better and that's why he was worried it was potentially not possible for you to tolerate full penetration.

"If you are sure, we'll have to make pan-pan yellow on the traffic-lights and add mayday as red. How about 'clear' for green?" your boyfriend proposed seriously and you widened your eyes.

"We can still stop if you are not up for it," he quickly offered at the look on your face and you swallowed hard and shook your head.

"No, no, I can do this. I know you won't hurt me, Hoseok-ah. The safewords sound good," you nodded looking up at him with big expectant eyes and he motioned for you to turn around.

"Is this my anniversary present?" he giggled as he undid the bow on the back of your shirt, ran his hands up your back slowly and pushed the sleeves off your shoulders so they pooled around your wrists.

"It could be" you teased him back sliding them off your arms and onto the cushions.

Hoseok got up from the couch and you followed him with your eyes curiously.

After unbuttoning his shirt with a mischevous smirk, he dropped it to the floor and then undid his belt and stepped out of his pants. Taking his time as you watched while he stared back shamelessly.

"Are you stripping for me?" you said raising an eyebrow curiously.

"Do you like it?" he chuckled to then sit on the armchair across from you.

"I do, my baby is gorgeous," you answered with a wide pleased smile and he rolled his eyes unamused.

"Don't get mad at me, baby. You know I like to take care of you, that's all," you got up and walked to him slowly, sensually.

"Get rid of that underwear. You are overdressed, aein," Hobi lost no time and you happily complied.

"What about you?"

He was still in his boxers and you too wanted to see all of him.

"Tonight is about you, so I'm calling the shots, baby," with his elbow propped on the armrest, he held his head up and looked back at you with a cocky expression.

"Fine," you sighed disappointed but listened to him regardless. How could you say no when he was so irresistible and firm in his resolve?

"Sit with your back to me,"

You followed his orders and pressed your butt to his lower abdomen to lay right against his chest. He usually was quick to get hard and he was already halfway there just from the anticipation.

As he placed his hands on your shoulders and gently massaged them, you wiggled your butt against him and he groaned, yet didn't complain about it.

You hummed content, letting your head hang forward as he worked on the knots you didn't know your muscles had.

"This makes me think of that time I went to your hotel room to confess and you ended sitting on me on that desk chair because I chickened out. Then when I did manage to tell you what I felt and you fell asleep cuddling on my lap," Hobi shared with a little embarrassed laugh.

"Aw, baby," you moaned as he pressed a place on your back that made it arch just when you went to talk. At the sound he twitched underneath you.

"Are you okay back there, baby?" not playing with him was impossible knowing just how excitable he was. An entertained giggle escaped your lips.

"Keep teasing me, but he who laughs last, laughs best,"

"Is that a threat?" you turned to look over your shoulder skeptically.

"I told you I'd shut you up one day and I'm not apologizing for what you had coming tonight," he smiled a wide teasing smile and you remembered all those times you pushed him.

You weren't going to lie, you were very curious and excited, not just nervous. You needed him to be able to enjoy himself 100%, he had been way more patient than you thought was possible.

It was ingrained in you to help people be comfortable with their sexuality, it was natural to you. Your boyfriend was no exception.

"Aw baby, all bark and no bite?" you shot back at him with an exaggerated pout on your face.

"You think that's what I am?" he raised an eyebrow and stared at you judgingly.

"I know that's what you've been, just a cute loud puppy," you provoked him knowing well you'd push buttons that would fuel him.

"I didn't want to scare you..." looking down at you with darkened eyes.

"You couldn't scare me" you replied laughing at his words and he ran his tongue along his teeth mildly annoyed.

Nevertheless, he sensually slid his hands around your waist and onto your breasts and started massaging them.

"Mmm, that's more like it," you murmured and he chuckled as you threw your head back and laid it on his shoulder.

Your boyfriend took advantage of it and made out with you tenderly. The last thing he intended to do was rush.

After a bit he simply pressed his forehead to yours. You just listened to each other's breath, enjoying the moment. His hands continued to massage you down your sides, your thighs, your butt and then around your crotch.

"It feels good, I'm not gonna lie, but you are such a tease," you mumbled displeased as his fingers were outside and not within your lips.

"Turn around and wrap your legs around my back," Hobi instructed as he gently pushed you off him and crossed his legs for you to sit facing him. He didn't tease back, he was very focused.

"What is all this?" you wondered and the corners of his lips curled up.

"Just follow my lead. So impatient, ireon!" he mocked you pretending to be exasperated. You pushed his shoulder playfully offended before getting back on his lap.

Instantly dipping, he mouthed at your chest cautiously, holding onto your side, and you stroked his hair as he did. His other hand went back in between your legs.

It was sort of strange, the way he caressed you with his lips and fingers, not being rough to stimulate you as usual. Yet it did awaken things in you and it slowly but surely built up a pleasant feeling.

When he finally started circling within your lips, you seemed to be extra sensitive already and you nestled your head in the crook of his neck mewling.

He kissed your face here and there as you laid with eyes closed and it didn't take much time of flicking your clit for you to come on his lap. Without stopping, he kept stroking you right outside your entrance and you felt overstimulated with very little.

"Ever heard of tantric sex?"- he asked and you nodded as he merely laid a finger on your entrance - "may I?"

"Whatever you want to do with those magic hands," you said and he burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be laughing," he giggled and slowly made his way in with one finger.

You moaned as he found parts of you you didn't know existed, it was arousing, but you could tell the idea was hardly coming and it felt divine.

"How do you like it, aein?" he murmured nuzzling your hair and feeling you get heavier as you gave into it all completely.

Hoseok kept quiet, but his finger was slowly reaching deeper parts he did whenever he fingered you. He was glad this was working and hoped you didn't mind how eager he was underneath you.

"I'm adding another finger, aein," he warned you and you nodded.

"All clear, baby," you sounded drunk when you talked and he was happy it was on pleasure alone.

Past the initial reflexive squeeze, thankfully, there wasn't much tension and he focused on your g-spot. He diligently worked on it, making you curve backwards, twist and let out low moans in his ear.

"Hobi, baby, it feels-" you started to say but you cried out with one last nudge that had you soaking his underwear.

He kept working on your clit softly and you curled up against him as an unimaginable orgasm hit you. You sure came, but you didn't orgasm all that often.

"How are you feeling?" Hobi checked after your muscles relaxed again and you stopped whimpering. You kissed the underside of his jaw and nuzzled it.

"I feel like I wet you. Gosh, I have never come like this," you muttered and he laughed.

One hand stayed in between your legs unmoving, just cupping you, and the other one he placed over your heart.

"What time is it?" you asked after a while, feeling sleepy, and Hobi looked at his watch which faced him from his wrist as he held you close to him.

"It doesn't matter," he tried and you hummed seemingly satisfied with the answer. It had been nearly an hour and a half, but he knew you'd stress over things taking too long, so he didn't tell you.

"Nae jageun sae," he called you in a whisper and you pulled back your head to look up at him. His most loving gaze made you feel the blush that crept on your cheeks.

Hoseok slid his hands underneath your thighs and lifted you up to walk you to the room. You looked peaceful, the tension from a few hours ago completely gone in every sense. He was pleased you were on the right track.

After sitting you at the edge of the bed and discarding his boxers, he crawled on the mattress and sat against the pillows motioning for you to sit back on his lap.

With your hands joined at the nape of his neck, you sat close to his body and felt him throbbing against you. He hadn't been fully hard at all times, but there had been no release for him and you felt bad for him.

Your eyes looked down and he brought them back up to his holding onto your chin softly.

"Don't worry, I'm fine," he insisted and touched his lips to yours.

It started with sensual kisses that became more passionate, your bodies grinded against one another's and his length rubbed against your clit. Your moans were careless and your breathing was almost in sink.

His tip slid in unintentionally and you froze and then looked at him in the eye. Seeing your nervousness, he pulled back and resumed the kissing. You seemed to be even more guarded than usual.

Eventually it was you who adjusted him so just the tip was inside of you and he grunted happily with your decision to go a little further.

You could feel him leaking, abs tensed as he focused on sliding in and out without going past the usual depth you were comfortable with.

Hobi pushed you on your back against the bed and went little deeper with every thrust. Praising you and kissing you lovingly all along to encourage you.

"You can do this, you've worked so hard. Just tell me if it's too much or you want me to stay still for a bit. Use me, guide me like you would your dilator,"

"You are my boy toy?" you giggled looking just a bit uncomfortable but toughing it out as it was bearable.

"My beautiful Bodi, soon enough it'll be your turn," he smirked naughtily and you pressed your lips together unsure of how that felt.

No more empty promises...was it fear or was it eagerness? Excitement? Happiness? What if you failed him?

Hoseok's insides fired up as he pushed in deeper and deeper, past walls that seemed to have disappeared, resistance that was virtually gone.

"Shit, aein, you are so hot inside...and tight, but it's perfect and-" he growled in utter bliss. This was finally happening, right? He hoped so, it was almost too good to be true.

"Hoseok-ah, ow, w-wait a-a ouch-" he was a bit more than halfway in, it was new and you were panicking a little.

Your boyfriend stilled immediately, chest heaving as he held back with all his might. He breathed in and out trying to hold back his own urges.

Don't ruin it, don't ruin it.

Suddenly you grabbed his hips and pulled him in a bit, then pushed him back and repeated the motion. Hobi took over and checked in with you to properly perform the moves you needed. A few more minutes and you felt at ease once again.

"There's just a bit more, wanna go for it?" Hobi asked hopefully after looking down at the short distance between your bodies.

"Okay, okay, fuck. Just do it," you breathed out trying not to think too much about it.

Your hands squeezed his waist and he started moving back and forth slowly like he did in the beginning. Your whimpers and wincing made him worry, but you didn't stop him so he didn't say anything.

Then your hips were touching and you could feel his warm body against yours. You didn't notice that you got there until you actually got there, until you could feel your boyfriend's skin rubbing against yours.

Hobi kept rocking back and forth, looking at you attentively in case you needed him to stop and, after the initial shock, you made eye contact with him.

"Is everything okay?" he questioned looking agitated and you nodded in disbelief.

Was he really all the way in? Had you been able to fit all of it? All of that?

"All clear?" he insisted and you repeated the safeword to ease his anxiety.

"Clear," your jaw hung agape and he couldn't help but giggle in joyful disbelief.

He kissed you passionately, as he buried himself deep inside for the first time and held his hips pressed to yours just rolling his body.

Your warmth, the clenching around him, the way he was fitted within your walls completely and how his thighs actually touched your ass, his lower abdomen yours...it all felt heavenly.

Hoseok suddenly stilled. Curling his body against you and burying his face in your hair, he moaned out your name and whined as he shuddered.

"Fuck, why did you have to be a grower?" you commented feeling him get harder and it get tighter inside all of a sudden.

Your boyfriend whined in response, pressing his forehead against yours and breathing out shakily. In that same moment you felt your insides warm up.

"You just feel so fucking good, baby," he croaked and opened his eyes to look at you.

"So do you, I can feel you from tip to base. Every muscle moving, it's crazy," he didn't take your virginity and that wouldn't have been as intimate, but it felt like such a romantic experience you'd certainly remember it as the day you truly enjoyed your first time without pain.

Hoseok hadn't slid out of you and you had felt him soften just a bit before his gentle thrusts and pleased moans had him rocking his hips and hardening once more.

"Aein," he called out shakily as his hips stiffly kept up. His refractory period was virtually non-existent from how aroused he was.

Hobi could finally feel every part of you and you him and he was struggling not to lose his mind. He felt giddy and lustful now that he had got to this point. He couldn't seem to focus.

"Yes, Hobi, baby? Are you okay?" you placed your hand over his chest as you often did to soothe him and he squeezed your wrist with a trembling hand.

"I can't take it anymore," he confessed inhaling deeply and exhaling through his nose forcefully as if trying to stay put, teeth clenched and lips in a tight line.

The feeling of him was foreign for sure, he was a stretch from your dilators, but you didn't feel like you were torn open or about to rip apart like you had. You simply fit each other and it felt so right, there was no reason for you to be scared, it was nothing like those traumatic experiences.

Soon enough the discomfort should get better if there was any and if it didn't you were sure he would listen to you. He actually cared more for you than any of those men had, you wouldn't doubt him.

"Pick up the pace," you said boldly and his eyes widened, but he didn't lose time.

"Oh shit, aein, I've been waiting so long for this," he breathed out a sigh of relief and worked on increasing the speed and force in intervals from then on.

"It hurts so good," you moaned with your hands playing with his hair and running down his face, all the way down his working muscles, his chest, his abs and then you held his upper arms.

Hoseok held your hips firmly, his fingers strongly dug into the flesh and pulled you towards him with every push forward. Not being able to spend another milisecond outside of you now that he was finally in.

"I told you I'd make sure you could take every inch of it, see? You've done ah-mazing, aein" the feeling of your hips crashing against each other's made Hobi euphoric.

The way he sank completely inside now was hypnotic to watch. The sounds of your moans filled the room in a new way, they were more heated. It was absolutely thrilling and he couldn't get enough of it all.

All he wanted was to own you, posess you, a sort of primal feeling was taking over him and he growled frustrated the moment he felt himself start throbbing again. He had waited too long for this to end this fast.

He pulled out abruptly not wanting to let it and you whined. It made him snicker.

"You've been preparing for this, eagerly, haven't you? You want all of it just as much as I want to sink into you, don't you?,"

"You are throbbing, baby. Talk about eager," you teased him with a tired laugh, but your rosy cheeks gave him the idea he was not wrong.

"I apologize for the person I'm about to become. We are doing things my way now. If it's too much you know the words,"

"Baby, I'm all yours," you'd been more prepared for this than you gave yourself credit for if you were honest.

Hobi's hand reached to the drawer of his night-table and he pulled out a blindfold. He wrapped it around your head before you even realized.

"You know why I don't want a whore?" his tone of voice was raspier, more daunting in a sense.

To acknowledge his words, you simply hummed and bit your tongue cheekily with a bright smile. He laughed amused at the sight.

"I want to make you mine, only mine. A single night won't do it for me,"

His weight was off the bed the next second and you were curious.

"You are gonna love this," he announced excitedly and you heard the rustling of the contents of your box after the door of his closet opening.

"Are you borrowing my toys?" you asked as you heard him going through your stuff.

"I just need a few things, no toys this time," he clarified wanting to play safe and you heard the metallic clink of your leather gear instead.

One moment his weight was back on the bed as if he had sprung onto it and the next he was biting on your neck quite hard. You dug your nails on his shoulders with a surprised squeak.

"Every inch of you...I will bite to prove your past experience wrong"-he whispered in your ear as his hands moved down your stomach and to the inside of your thighs unhurriedly and his mouth traveled down your body-"every part of you."

You simply hummed, your tone not giving him the idea you believed him just yet.

"Mark you everywhere so that when you look at yourself in the mirror you think of me and me alone.*

Out and about covered, but the moment you are naked it's just you and I. Whether I'm there or in your mind alone,"

It made you shudder, what he was saying, keeping in mind your long periods of absence. The fact that he had accepted it all and your lifestyle was a given. It was more arousing to you than you figured it would be.

"Fuck, baby," you breathed out when he pushed you around, bit your ass and your thighs, sucking and tugging on the fleshy skin turning it red.

"Just marking my skin?" you asked knowingly, from the outside in and the inside out, you knew how he felt. You knew him better now.

"I made you, aein. You fit me like a glove," he was proud and arrogant because he knew it was true that you'd both worked for this. No other man could satisfy you like he did, quite literally.

"Just you, mhm" you egged him on.

"Just mine, no one else's. Like lock and key, no one but me," he growled in your ear, nuzzled your cheek and kissed it where it was wounded.

"Just yours, that's right, baby. Feeling inspired? Are you going to rap about how you are the only one who can make me click open?" you whispered and held his cheeks and brought him in for a kiss.

"Mhm, I might. I like how it sounds," he groaned in between kisses, closing his eyes when your fingers scratched his scalp and lightly pulled from his hair.

His kisses were rough, his tongue forced itself in your mouth soon enough and his hands ran down your skin grabbing at any and every part of your body.

"I told you I'd show you one day when you played with me, babied me, that you shouldn't mess with me. I'm making you mine. You are taking it all for me tonight,"

Holding your elbow and pulling you up with him, he nearly made you trip on your feet.

The squeak of a sliding door, a warning not to trip and a cool breeze made you shudder.

"Are we outside?" you whispered as if someone could hear you and Hobi laughed, soon enough it would be impossible to keep it low.

He pulled you in front of him and held onto your shoulders to guide you to a specific spot.

"Stand here, legs spread wide open," he instructed and soon enough you felt your leather cuffs wrap your ankles. A click indicated you were fixed in place.

"Hobi, baby, what are you up to?" you called curiously as you heard his steps walk around you.

He pressed you against cold glass and bent you over it, making you hold onto it reflexively. Soon enough he took your hands and cuffed them to the metal railing.

"Wait until you see this" he whispered in your ear and undid the knot behind your head.

You blinked adjusting to the light outside and saw the lit up skyline all around you and the starry night above.

Chained to the metal frame you were not going to fall like you could have in Vegas, but what a sight to see. You were loving it, it awakened every fiber of your being.

"Why are you wearing the blindfold?" you asked confused when you turned back to look at Hoseok and started laughing.

"You see everything from above and I don't get to look down, everyone wins," he explained and you laughed again.

"You are so wet, it drives me crazy to use lube on your ass when you are dripping in front of my eyes, begging for it," it was actually very frustrating to watch as you remained intact while he thrusted into you through the back.

"You like chokers to hold onto, don't you? Let me tell you a bit more about what I like...it's this for me" he said pulling from your hair and tying it in itself to make a ponytail.

He tugged from it and brought you back against his shoulder, then slid his hand up to your jaw and squeezed the sides of your neck.

"I'm gonna make you see double as many stars in the sky tonight, I keep my promises," all you could see was his smirk and all he couldn't see with his eyes he felt more intensely.

Hoseok adjusted himself once more and bottomed out at once, making you call his name helplessly.

"Are we clear?" he checked with a grave tone and as soon as you gave him the green signal, he gave in completely.

He pulled back and slammed into you rough and hard. The friction, your pulsing, your strained voice, the slapping skin and your everything drove him wild.

Hoseok's moans were mixed with deep growls and grunts that echoed, you could tell he was not holding back one bit.

His raw reactions and following through with his dirty words without going easy on you at last were incredibly hot. He always enjoyed himself, but you could tell he was truly carefree and enraptured by the moment.

Your name in moans slipped out of his lips and your body shivering and writhing beneath him was making him throb. The extra pressure made you whimper here and there, but you felt nothing but utter bliss.

Even with it being a private balcony, this was probably the most shameless and careless he had ever been with his intimacy. The idea of simply being heard, of anyone hearing how good you took it riled him up.

In this state, he didn't care about the neighbors or how uncomfortable they would be with the sounds. He felt high being inside of you, claiming you after you didn't leave.

You came with shaking legs and jingling from your restraints. Your knees gave in and were pressed against the glass, barely staying up on your feet, but his arms held you up as he kept a firm grip on your hips chasing after his own release.

Hobi straightened you up still holding onto your jaw and angled your face to kiss you sloppily, moaning into your mouth as he twitched and came, his thrusts slowing down to milk every last spurt that flooded you.

"You have me feral," he whispered in your ear panting and let go of your face before pulling the blindfold over his head.

"That's was scorching hot, baby," you praised him and he snickered pleased with himself.

"How ya feelin', aein?" he mumbled in between his heavy breaths and walked around you to undo the cuffs and take you back inside.

"I don't think I'm getting up for a while, I feel like I could sleep three days straight for once in my life," you commented with an amused tone and a sigh.

Hobi caught you in his arms when you turned around a little wobbly on your feet. Looking absolutely spent, you turned to face him, with your unruly hair, glistening skin, swollen lips and flushed face, he didn't think he could take his eyes off you.

Only the smudged make-up on your cheek as he checked on you made him look away from the cut on your face for a moment. His blood boiled with the reminder.

He had to take the matter in his hands, the bloody company never took him seriously enough and he was done waiting.

There was no way he would keep sitting idly by after you stayed despite everything you went through because you believed in him, in what you two had. He was going to be the man you thought was worth loving.

-

I owe you a gif and footnotes again, but I can tell you the title of this chapter and just the general feel of it is inspired by Animals by Maroon 5 ('I get so high when I'm inside you' is part of the lyrics).