After a month of your interaction having slowly declined, with two weeks being decent and two getting more and more uncomfortable, you couldn't take it anymore.

“Hoseok-ah, this needs to stop” you said resolutely and his heart sank. He looked up at the screen with wide eyes and his fixed bored pout.

“Baby, please talk to me. I can tell something’s wrong, but I don’t know what” Hobi took a deep breath at your words and sighed, for a moment he thought what you two had was what had to stop.

“I don’t think we should talk about this over the phone” he answered honestly and once again anxiety rose in your chest.

“Does it have to do with me being gone? With this whole long distance thing?” you tried to make sense of it at least, not to psych yourself over imaginary situations.

“What? No, not at all. This is all on me, aein” he sat there sulking as he brushed your worries away.

“Hob-ah…” you looked at him sadly and felt bad for assuming he was bored with you, the expression on his face was about something else.

He pressed his lips together as he looked at you from under his lashes, he couldn't look at you straight in the eye if he didn’t hold his head up high.

“Can you at least tell me what it is about? I’ve been wondering about this one thing,”

“What is it?” he asked ready to reassure you, it probably wouldn’t have anything to do with what went through his mind. How could it when he didn’t say a word about it?

“You don’t like me hanging out with the girls, do you?”

Your question was completely unexpected, he had heard all about your outings, helped you pick your outfits, hadn’t said anything to indicate how it all affected him. How could you possibly know?

He swallowed nervously and sucked in his lips and that was enough for you to tell you had struck a nerve. His body language was more obvious than he figured, even if his words were dull and dry, devoid of his true feelings.

“You don't” you murmured as that alone confirmed your suspicion and your heart clenched.

“Why? You should know, I don’t understand” your voice caught in your throat and he frowned as he looked at you directly now, blinking puzzled.

“Should know what?” your words came from elsewhere and he wasn’t following, what was going through your mind right now?

“You know I hate being locked up on my own. I need to go out and do things with other people. This is me, I can’t change, of all people I thought you’d get it” you were so upset while you explained yourself and Hoseok had no idea what you were saying.

“Hold on a second, aein. You know I do understand but…is it because we didn’t do much the few weeks we were together? I wanted to go out with you, but I was so tired then and I thought it would be okay to hang out at our places. I should have thought about you, I’m sorry.”

“What are you talking about? I loved it, I was actually worried you were bored with how things were. We were too static and I know you need some more action.”

“What are you saying then?” Hobi asked beyond confused. This had nothing to do with what he felt or what you felt, it seemed.

“Let me get straight to the point, please be honest” you said seriously and he nodded without hesitation.

“Are you jealous of them? Is that why you don’t want me to go out?” he broke eye contact the moment jealousy was brought up.

“It’s not like that, I don’t want to stop you from going out and hanging out with whomever you like” his rational mind knew this and he wanted to make it clear because his next few words wouldn’t make sense.

“What is it like then? I need you to tell me what’s wrong, please, I can’t read minds” you insisted trying to be patient with him.

It’s like you needed a corkscrew to get things out of Hobi, but you should have remembered he kept his feelings to himself until he couldn’t tolerate them anymore.

Exactly like you did to avoid the inevitable. To pretend it was all okay and not put a damper on the moment.

“I’m not a woman, I can’t cover for that part you are missing. You keep talking about how beautiful they are and seem to love their company. I want to be happy for you because you are not stuck in your room all alone and far away from home, but…”

“Hobi, I don’t need you to make up for anything. I’m very aware of the fact that you are a man and I don’t need any more from you. Why do you think I would want you to be anything but what you are?”

“Don’t you need more though? They are all gorgeous, I’m with you on that. Everything you’ve said about them and how much you are into it, they are all things I’ll never be able to give you” he looked down, playing with his nails anxiously.

“I don’t need more from you, I don’t need a woman either. I’m with you and you are enough. Look, I think the confusion here is because I am very much gay, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to fall for any girl just because I’m into them. You don’t fall for every woman you see, do you?”

“No, of course not” he answered feeling a little stupid at how obvious the answer was and how he'd not thought about it.

Fair enough, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t fall for them, you couldn’t find better than him.

It all went deeper, you kept trying to explain it to him, but it was much too complex to discuss it when you were thousands of miles across the globe.

“Yes, they are beautiful models who look amazing with their make up, their clothes or lack thereof. It’s kind of their job for their bodies to look a certain way, you know.

But have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You can rival them no problem, you don’t need to be jealous of them.

You are not about to grow breasts or forgo your manhood for that and you don’t have to. Trust me.”

Hoseok laughed at your exaggerated consolation but let you talk.

“You’ve got the toned, slender body of a dancer. Muscles marked just enough, but not overdone.

All made up for stage, wearing sexier clothes and owning it, I could gush about you just as much as I have about them.

Plus I'm sure you could get a modeling contract for any underwear brand you want if it’s about the body. Just laying there naked you look like out of a Greek mythology book, it's pretty intimidating to be honest.

And no need to stuff socks down your pants either, that's got to give you extra points to get the gig.”

Hobi’s eyes sparkled despite his face burning from the embarrassment. His laugh filled the air as he didn’t know how else to react when you complimented* him so heavily.

“Don’t laugh, I mean every word. Your side profile is divine, that’s one of the first things I noticed about you. Do you want me to keep simping? I can do this all day, baby” his laugh made you smile despite it all, yet you hoped he believed your words were honest.

“I intimidate you?” he managed to ask as his laughter died down eventually.

“Yes, I told you, Hob-ah” you narrowed your eyes and tilted your head playfully.

“No, you haven’t, when?”

“I've told you, I don’t usually have sex per the standard definition of it”

“Oh, you mean that?” he glanced down as his lap in the most obvious way possible and when he slowly looked back up, he raised an eyebrow and a smug smirk grew on his face.

“Yeah, okay. Women don’t have that” you rolled your eyes and pouted, making it a little dramatic for fun.

It was intimidating indeed, even with prep. You weren’t sure how it would go when the time came, how far you'd be able to go, how hard it would be or if it would be really painful.

Regardless, if hearing this gave him an ego boost right now, you’d provide.

“I would never hurt you, aein” he started sweetly, but contradicting the expression on his face, to then sensually lower his tone.

“Before I do it, I'll make sure you can take every inch, all the way down to the base.”

You weren’t easily impressionable, but your lips parted and you stared at him forgetting how to breathe before you drew in air and uttered the only sound that came out.

“Oo-ah*²” you held your hands up in front of you and tried to form a coherent sentence as he awaited without as much as a blink, he could be intense when he wanted to be.

That was too much for you to process in many different ways.

“Hold up there, I don’t know about that much” you answered nervously and he chuckled.

“I was just messing with you, did it work?” his smirk and gaze changed into a more playful expression. It soon softened and he looked at you exuding kindness instead.

“I’ll take care of you above all, aein. I promise.” your heart skipped a beat at his soft words of reassurance.

For some reason, your eyes watered just enough for them to look glassy. Someone actually wanted to take care of you, no one ever thought to take care of you because that was always your role.

Hoseok looked at you with knitted eyebrows and was about to ask if you were okay when the door of your room opened. You turned away to look at the source of the various overlapping voices. He couldn’t make out any of it even if he tried, so he waited silently.

“I’m just talking to my boyfriend” you answered to one of the women and Hoseok smiled to himself. Your boyfriend, he wanted to be your boyfriend. No labels had been fine, but hearing that offered some of the reassurance he needed.

“Ireon*³, gijang-nim, can we meet him?”

“I need to see the man, please say yes.”

“We won’t embarrass you, I swear.”

He tried to hold back his laugh as he heard the girls on the other side whispering to you. His lips were pressed together in an amused line when you waved them over and turned to him clearing your throat, his eyebrows shot up alerted.

“Hob-ah, these are the girls I’ve been hanging out with” you said opening your arms as they all walked closer, gathered around you and leaned forward to look at him. He giggled nervously with all the sudden attention but bowed his head to greet them.

“Nice to meet you all, ladies. I’ve heard a lot about you” his tone was irresistible without trying, he sounded confident and charming despite his racing heart.

“Girls, this is Jung Hoseok, my boyfriend”

“You didn’t tell us it was the J-Hope!” one of them freaked out and you realized what you had done. You'd brought him up in conversation multiple times, but as who he was to you, not to the world.

“Who? BTS? Oh my god, he’s so handsome” a second one squealed to a third.

With an awkward smile you looked up at the one who seemed to be a fangirl and then at Hobi to mouth a ‘sorry’. He shook his head unbothered, it was the least of his worries.

“Anyway, I’ll see you in a bit” you hinted at them leaving you two alone and they got the message and left you after showering Hobi in compliments.

The fact that you had acknowledged him as your boyfriend and called him that in front of all of them offered him the comfort he didn’t know he needed. He felt more at ease thanks to your introduction.

They now knew you were taken and while that wasn’t the point, it showed you cared enough about him to mention him in daily conversation and talk about him with others. Instead of a sad pout, a small smile rested on his lips at the thought.

“Does that mean you are my girlfriend then?” he teased you and you blushed.

“Was I wrong to introduce you that way? I had to sum up our relationship somehow” you explained a little nervously and he giggled endeared. That was the kind of thing he said he wanted, wasn’t it?

“No, I want you all to myself, naekkeo.” Hobi scrunched his face cutely with a wide lip smile just to see yours one more time.

When the time came, he would tell you why he was so affected by you interacting with others, but for now he was happy there was a place for him in your heart and mind even if he was not there with you.

-

*
https://youtube.com/shorts/TEdVh7O9wDM
https://youtube.com/shorts/IjKCAG3zzEg

*² Oo-ah is the Korean romanization of 'wow'. This word has been used in previous books so I kept it for consistency.

*³ Ireon is the shortened version of ireon sesange which is an equivalent for 'oh my god'. This word has been used in previous books so I kept it for consistency.