Jung Hoseok was the beginning of the end of your relationship with Miyoung.

The night you saw him for the first time ended up being a lot more important than you'd expect.

Why had he been so relevant to begin with?

Your ex-girlfriend and you had started dating a few months before and now that you were more comfortable with each other, you'd started to notice the red flags.

She invited you to a work party for the first time and you were really excited. You'd been with partners who feared openly hanging out with you, women or men.

Either it was because there was always the risk of homophobia in a mostly conservative society or because you'd be questioned by fellow queer peers.

It's like you didn’t fit in anywhere, lesbians couldn't relate entirely, neither could straight people. You always got looks when you walked in a safe space holding a guy's hand because 'what is that CisHet* couple doing here?' or because you were supposed to pick a side.

You were not gay enough or straight enough to anybody and, as much as you didn't care about labels, a lot of people did.

Not even other bisexual people seemed to understand you sometimes, not when you decided to date someone heterosexual.

Many didn't like the hassle of dealing with discrimination and internalized homophobia so they chose to only date within the community.

Some even chose to exclusively date other people of the same orientation to avoid being judged the way you did when you dated gay or straight partners.

You believed everyone deserved a chance regardless. A lot of people were openly nasty and discriminatory towards the queer, but there's also those who are clueless or misguided.

Often, they are all thrown inside the same bag as if they were incapable of being saved, as if they were a lost cause and it all came from a place of hate.

But you thought some just needed a little attention, for their doubts to be cleared to understand and accept.

They weren't hopeless, they were ignorants. If they were open and willing, you'd educate them without judgement.

Maybe their comments sounded insensitive or homophobic at first, but what would you expect when it's been ingrained in all by society? When they know nothing on the subject?

Your first girlfriend even rejected herself being sure she was not attracted to men at all. It runs that deep that even good people struggle to accept themselves.

With the assorted experiences you'd heard about and gone through since you were young, you were more than willing to help and work towards a more inclusive society.

Her coworkers at the party that night seemed to be so friendly and you were having a blast dancing. Miyoung seemed to be preoccupied for some reason, everyone around you was doing their own thing, it was carefree and you were really feeling yourself.

You couldn’t help but look at the members of the band you were celebrating tonight, some were surprisingly...questionable when dancing, but you could tell they were enjoying themselves and their silly interactions made it clear how close they were.

Your eyes met Hoseok’s without you looking for it, he was dancing close to you. His moves were effortlessly fluid and you found yourself admiring him for just a second. He caught you and instead of being embarrassed because you didn’t have an ounce of his smoothness, you just smiled at him.

His smile was radiant. Before you could look for more than milliseconds, Miyoung was dragging you out of the dance floor and down the hallway that lead to the restrooms.

“What’s wrong?” you questioned worriedly as she scowled but refused to make eye contact with you.

“You were staring and then smiling at Hoseok-ssi!” she huffed as you leaned back on the wall and she stood in front of you with tightly closed fists on her hips.

“He’s just a good dancer, you know I can’t dance to save my life” you didn’t understand why she would get jealous. You didn't try anything ever, yet she could be unnecessarily possesive.

Miyoung crossed her arms over her chest and looked away offended. You held her waist and kissed her cheek, nuzzling it to try and get her out of her bad mood.

“Come on, you know what I’m like...I was just vibing with those around me” you whispered coyly. It was true, you were just like that, a social butterfly.

You’d never do anything with anyone else if you were in a relationship, you didn’t like sharing your partners either. Miyoung had nothing to worry about, but the smallest interaction with someone else seemed to make her nervous.

“It’s like you were sharing a moment, like we weren’t dancing together!” your girlfriend refused to let go of it and you sighed. Sometimes it didn’t feel like she trusted you and that really brought you down.

“There were tons of people around us, it was impossible not to dance in the proximity of anyone else. Was I supposed to keep a poker face? To be embarrassed of making eye contact? I was just being friendly.”

You were tired of having to explain yourself, you’d mostly ignored it while you dated because you were too caught up with the newness of the relationship. Right now it was just frustrating.

Some voices could be heard close by and your face was suddenly pulled in for your lips to clumsily crash against Miyoung’s. You would have been into it if it wasn’t because she was just trying to have your whole attention while two of the members of the band walked past you.

You were in the way and this felt kind of awkward when they nearly bumped against you. Not to piss your girlfriend off further, you humored her until they had gone into the men’s restroom.

After that the air between you two was tense and you decided to leave the party. Miyoung had a way of luring you back in and you soon forgot about her questioning. It was tempting to avoid complications when you didn’t have much time to spend with her.

It all went downhill from there though, she would keep getting upset over harmless interactions and no matter how much reassurance you tried to offer, she just wouldn’t listen. It was hard not to feel like she had an issue with the kind of person you were.

She was more reserved and that was fine, but you didn’t want to walk on eggshells afraid to hurt her. You were not doing anything wrong and you had never acted different around her. She knew what you were like all along.

In the end you broke up because all you did was bickering over the same thing over and over again. Miyoung had been nice to be around while you were dating, but the moment you became exclusive she had been hoping you’d somehow retreat and stop interacting as freely.

It made no sense to you, you should be able to be yourself around someone you love, not to have to restrain yourself for them. Miyoung was really upset, but you had to break it off right before going on a business trip not to leave her hanging.

She had months to cool down and for some dumb reason you found yourself calling her the night you came back and were feeling specially lonely. You were hoping things would be different if you weren’t together, like they had been before you got in a relationship.

The idea of being friends with benefits was more appealing to you than going out and trying to find someone to hook up with, but the moment she became clingy you decided to start seeing other people to reinforce the notion that you were just friends.

She had always been very understanding when it came to your long trips abroad and it was comforting to return somewhere that felt like home and be welcomed with a warm smile. So against your best judgement, you had let things go on for too long.

Her lying to your neighbor about your non-existent relationship was the last straw. It was not healthy, after six months of trying to make this agreement work you had to give up and call it off. You'd actually seen each other for just three of those due to work.

It was strange because Miyoung was the one that brought up that Hoseok was moving into your building and was gonna be your neighbor down the hall. You decided to whip up a batch of rice cakes and welcome him, just be friendly, you didn’t really know any of your neighbors.

You had a reason to talk to someone, make friends and you took it. When you told her in passing what you had done, she had kept quite but her mood had obviously declined. She brushed it off when you brought it up so you let it go and moved on.

Always trying to make the most of your time off lead to you making decisions you later regretted, the less setbacks, the better. You weren’t going to stop interacting with your neighbor because she was going to throw a fit.

Hoseok seemed to be rather reserved, you didn’t remember him being so dry, but admittedly you knew nothing about him other than the fact that his dance moves were flawless. And that his profile had probably been sculpted by Greek gods.

It was hard not to notice when he clenched his jaw and stared intensely. His sharp jawline, perfectly chiseled nose and dreamy complexion was hard to overlook. You did a good job until one night when you had one too many drinks.

You’d met this really handsome guy and you were going up to your apartment after chatting for hours. There was enough time to comfortably make out before you got to your floor so you didn’t lose time and you were sure it was late enough you’d bump into no one.

The elevator didn’t stop on any other floor, you were right, but when the door slid open and brought you out of your little bubble. You found yourself in front of your shocked neighbor. It was hard to interpret his face.

The alcohol in your bloodstream didn’t help you think through what you did next, how to move past the awkward situation. Flirting with him sounded like a good idea for some reason, you didn’t think he had ever seen you with a man, so you teased him further and resumed your kiss with the guy.

Hoseok promptly looked away and you just giggled and headed to your unit, too drunk to question your actions. When you took one last glance his way before walking in, he was gone. Was he flustered? You smiled to yourself entertained.

In the morning and after the guy you spent the night with left, you didn’t feel that great about what you had done, but it got you thinking. His lifestyle had to be busy like yours, he sure spent a lot of time away if he had barely got to move in this year.

Maybe, just maybe, he was the type that would go for casual. That was until you bumped into him bringing a woman home the night before. For some reason you got the idea she was more than a hook-up and you were sad.

Not for him, that was actually great for him, that he could have a meaningful connection with someone despite having a seemingly complicated life. You wished you could have that, but you tried not to give much room to your little pity party.

It was better not to focus on things like that when you were spending the night alone, your head could go on for hours and hours. Just contemplating what your life was about.

Earlier in the morning everything had gone to hell though. While you were waiting by your door for Miyoung to come up, you saw Hoseok saying goodbye to his lady and you decided to approach him for amiable conversation.

He wasn’t up for it and you wondered why he looked troubled until he said he hadn’t spent the night with a girlfriend. Had things not gone well? You didn’t know him all that well, but you figured if he needed company, he should know he could count on you.

Going out for drinks, talking things out, getting to know each other. It sounded nice.

Not to him by what he said next though. For some reason he thought ill of you and your mind started racing trying to figure out how he got that idea.

It couldn’t be that he had an issue with you dating women, could it? He had no problem with Miyoung.

Then he looked over at her, at you and that’s how, once more, Jung Hoseok was the catalyst of yet another big change in your life without you being more than acquaintances.

What was it about him?

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* CisHet is combination of the words cisgender and heterosexual. Cisgender refers to someone whose personal identity and gender correspond with their birth sex.