Charlie had managed to bewitch the gramophone to play music for the rest of the night. It was a shame that Artemis hadn't been able to help him pick the songs to play, really. It just meant that he was probably going to have to redo it at some point after she came back.

The music was surprisingly loud, and so Bill had said that he was going to take Dominique out for a walk around the garden to try and get her back to sleep. In need of some fresh air and a break from the crowded marquee, Charlie offered to join him. They had walked and talked until Dominique fell back to sleep, at which point they had taken a seat on a pair of old deckchairs, facing the marquee.

The sun was rapidly setting in the sky behind the rolling hills of the Devonshire countryside, and the scents of grass and honeysuckle mingled in the air. Charlie smiled to himself. It didn't matter how far he travelled; this would always be home.

"Can you believe it?" Bill asked him, nodding his head at the marquee. "Little Ginny, married."

"Bill, I still can't believe that you're married, and I was your best man."

"Can't blame you for that, I can't believe it sometimes, either," grinned Bill. "How did we get to be so lucky?"

"It must be something about the red hair," Charlie said, and he leaned forward to peer at the baby in Bill's arms. He held out his little finger to stroke her tiny hands — they might have been the smallest he'd ever seen — and in her sleep, Dominique closed her fist, holding onto his little finger. "Do you think she's inherited that?"

"Too early to tell. Victoire's hair was almost black when she was born, and look at her now."

"True. She looks so much like Fleur, it's scary."

"She does, but she came out in freckles for the first time this summer," Bill laughed. "So it looks like she is one of us, after all."

Charlie chuckled, and looked down at his sleeping niece. It was difficult to tell in the dimming light, but there might well have been a reddish tinge to her hair.

"Bill?"

"Yes?"

"If I take my finger back, will she carry on sleeping?" he asked his brother. "Or am I just stuck here, now?"

Bill conjured a small blanket. He placed the corner against Dominique's hand and she let go of Charlie to cling onto that instead.

"See? Easy," said Bill, with a smirk that rapidly disappeared as the sound of a door slamming in the house caused Dominique to stir.

A second later, a flash of burgundy fabric and dark hair shot across the garden in the direction of the marquee. Bill and Charlie exchanged glances.

"Is that..."

"Artemis? Yeah."

"Is it just me, or does she look..."

"Really angry? Yeah."

"Should we do something?" asked Bill, frowning at the marquee as Artemis stormed inside.

"Yeah, we should probably stay out of the way," Charlie half-smiled. "At least until she's had a chance to stomp about and shout a bit. She'll be easier to calm down once she's got the worst of it out of her system."

"You make me look like an amateur," Bill said, and Charlie shrugged. "You know, I don't think I've ever been so glad to not be inside a marquee."

"I just feel sorry for whoever ends up on the receiving end," said Charlie, shaking his head. "Poor sod doesn't know what's coming to them."

A moment later, a small shadow appeared in the entrance of the marquee.

"Look who's back," Bill muttered. "Oh, great. She's seen us."

Bill was right. Artemis had definitely seen them. Her hazel eyes locked on Charlie's, and the expression in them made his heart start to race. Not in a good way, either. She wasn't just angry. She was livid.

He was rapidly becoming filled with a sense of impending doom, which only grew stronger as she raised a finger and pointed it at him.

"Charlie, I think you're in trouble," said his brother.

"Trouble? Mate, I'm in danger." Charlie's eyes scanned around the garden, looking for any kind of escape route or anything that he could hide behind. There was only one thing within easy reach. "Bill, pass me the baby."

"What? No!"

"She can't kill me if I'm holding a baby!"

"You can't use my child as a shield!"

"Yes, I can," Charlie told him, and held his arms out. "Quick, give it here."

"It?" Bill exclaimed. He looked indignant, but he nevertheless handed his infant daughter to Charlie, who immediately started to coo over her in what he thought was a fairly uncle-ish way.

"Charlie!" said Artemis, marching towards him with a face like thunder.

"Shh," he replied, smiling at Dominique. "The baby's sleeping."

"You know, I really don't care," she hissed at him. "I need to talk to you."

"Can it wait? I'm spending quality time with my niece right now."

"No, you're trying to avoid an argument," Artemis told him. "Well, tough luck. You can't avoid this, so give that back to your brother."

"That?"

Artemis ignored Bill, and glared at Charlie, who reluctantly handed the baby back to her father. He steeled himself, ready for whatever Artemis was about to throw at him — either figuratively or literally — but instead, she rounded on Bill.

"This is a private conversation. Leave."

"No, stay," Charlie said quickly. Both Artemis and Bill stared at him, and he shrugged. "I mean, whatever you have to say, you can say in front of Bill, right?"

"Fine." Artemis spat out the word. "Charlie, what the hell have you been saying to your mother?"

"What? When?"

"Today!"

"Artemis," Charlie tried to sound diplomatic, "I'm sorry, but you're really going to have to be more specific than that."

"Oh, you want me to be more specific, do you? Okay, how about what you said to her just before we had sex up against the wall in the kitchen?"

Charlie grimaced. There was no way Bill was going to stay with him now. Sure enough, he heard his brother make a soft urging sound.

"I actually cannot think of anything I want less than to be a part of this conversation right now," said Bill, standing up. "So, I'm going to go and take my sleeping baby into a very loud room. I have stuff I need to do, anyway. You know: drink, mingle, find my children some new godparents, that sort of thing." He patted Charlie's arm with the hand that wasn't holding his daughter. "Good luck, Charlie."

"Thanks," muttered Charlie. He looked up at Artemis, still bearing down on him with her hands on her hips, and sighed. "Alright, what's brought this on?"

"You. You did."

"Yeah, but how? Because I'm struggling to see why you're suddenly so angry about a throwaway comment I made to my mum several hours ago. What happened?"

"What's happened is that I've just had the weirdest conversation of my life with your mother, about how I'm now pregnant."

Charlie had never known his throat to dry so quickly before. He blinked.

"I'm sorry... You're pregnant?"

"No, obviously not, but your mum thinks I am."

"Wh-why... Why? Why would she think that?"

Artemis fixed him with a hard and meaningful stare, and he shrunk back from her, frowning. What had he done? Charlie thought about it, and realised how he might have caused this confusion.

"Oh. Oh, no..."

"Oh, yeah," said Artemis. Charlie bit his bottom lip and looked at her apologetically.

"Was she angry? Did she have a go at you? I'm really sorry if she shouted at you."

"She didn't shout at me."

"She didn't?" Charlie asked, and Artemis rolled her eyes.

"No, if anything, she's thrilled."

"But you're not thrilled..."

"No, Charlie, I am not thrilled. I am the opposite of thrilled, I am..." She paused for a moment, obviously thinking, before giving up. "I'm un-thrilled."

Charlie knew better than to laugh at her new word. He nodded silently in lieu of saying anything.

"Oh," Artemis continued without his input, "and we are also getting married."

"Are we?"

"According to Molly, we are."

"Right." Charlie frowned. "When?"

"Two months. Maybe sooner, depending on your work shifts."

"Does that mean we don't need to help take down the marquee tomorrow?"

Charlie's question was met with flaring nostrils. He put his hands in the air.

"I'm joking. That was a joke, Artemis."

Artemis did not so much as smile, let alone laugh. That was a bad sign. Charlie swallowed hard, before standing up and walking towards her.

"Alright," he said in a low, level voice, "so my mum thinks you're pregnant. Just tell her that you aren't."

"Do you honestly think that I didn't try that? Because I did, it was just hard when she wouldn't let me get a word in edgeways because she was too busy planning a wedding."

"What wedding?"

"Our wedding. Do keep up," Artemis snapped at him.

"I meant, there isn't going to be a wedding." Charlie shrugged. "You can just tell her again that you aren't pregnant and that we aren't getting married."

"No. You can tell her that I'm not pregnant and that we're not getting married."

Charlie felt his heart sink and race, both at the same time.

"Why me?" he asked.

"Because she's your mother and you're the one who put the idea in her head in the first place!"

Annoyingly, that was a fairly good reason. After a moment's hesitation, Charlie nodded.

"Yeah, okay. I'll tell her tomorrow," he said. He made to put his arm around Artemis' shoulder, but she pushed him away, glowering at him.

"No, you will tell her tonight."

"But—"

"Charlie, if you don't tell her tonight, she's going to keep acting all... weird around me, and keep telling me that's it about time we got married and settled down because we are thirty, and we've been together a while, and apparently that means we should be married by now. Oh, and you know she is not going to let me drink, and right now, I could really do with a drink."

"I just think—"

"I don't give a Knarl's arse what you think," Artemis hissed. "You know bloody well if you don't tell her tonight, she'll mention it to me tomorrow and then I'll end up telling her and you won't have to."

"No, that's not... I just think that today is a really stressful day for her — yeah, I know it's happy, but it's stressful, too — and it's probably better to wait until tomorrow because she is very emotional right now."

"I'm very emotional right now!"

"That's probably the pregnancy hormones," Charlie muttered, before he could stop himself.

As Artemis' face hardened even more, he immediately regretted opening his mouth. He ran one hand through his hair before trying to reason with her.

"Look, I don't want to be the one to upset mum tonight. You just said how happy and excited she is, and I don't want to ruin that for her when she's already a bit... Well, you know how she gets, especially at weddings. And I'm going to have to tell her that I lied to her, and she's not going to be happy about that, and I don't want her to cry or shout, or start nagging me."

Artemis raised her eyebrows, and Charlie took a step backwards.

"And," he continued, unable to look Artemis in the eye anymore, "there has got to be a better way to solve this, one that doesn't involve me crushing her dreams and telling her that I lied to her. Maybe we should think about other options."

"What other options?"

On the spot, Charlie shrugged.

"Well... I mean, we could get married in two months," he suggested. Every muscle in Artemis' body seemed to tense, and he quickly backtracked. "I'm not saying that it's the best option, but it is still an option." He exhaled, adding under his breath darkly, "Personally, I think the best solution here would be to emigrate."

" Emigrate? Charlie, you already live abroad!"

"I know, but I could see myself living in New Zealand."

"That's ridiculous. You can't move to New Zealand to avoid having an awkward conversation with your mum."

"You could come with me."

Artemis was not appeased by this half-serious proposition.

"I don't want to go to New Zealand with you! I don't want to go anywhere with you!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "You know, I don't even want to be near you at the moment. Not until you've sorted out this mess you've made."

"Alright!" Charlie replied, louder than he meant to. He sighed, and scratched his temple with one finger awkwardly. "This is probably a bad time to mention that I've got two Galleons riding on you catching the bouquet later, isn't it?"

In response to his question, Artemis made a sinister guttural noise that Charlie had never heard a human make before.

"Okay, yeah. Bad time. Really bad time," he said. "So, what exactly do you want me to say to her?"

"You tell her that you lied to her, that I'm not pregnant, that we aren't getting married, and that she needs to back off."

"And if she asks me why I lied to her?"

"I don't know! You're the one with all the excuses, make something up!"

Charlie closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Artemis was angrier tonight than he'd seen her in a while, especially with that anger directed at him. Knowing Artemis — which, by now, he could say with absolute certainty that he did — there was probably something else that was bothering her, it was just a matter of what. The problem was, to find out what it was that was really upsetting her, he had to calm her down. And that meant doing what she was asking of him, which meant...

"Alright," he said gently, stepping towards Artemis with his head lowered. "I'll talk to her. I promise."

"Tonight."

It wasn't a question. Charlie sighed, and reached out to stroke Artemis' arm. She stiffened, but didn't push him away.

"Yeah. Tonight, if I can. If not, I'll come down early tomorrow to do it."

"Tomorrow's not good enough," Artemis told him, whipping her arm away from him and crossing them both in front of her chest. "I want you to tell her now."

"I'm going to do it as soon as possible, it's just busy here tonight, so I might not get the chance. But I will try, alright?"

"No, it's not alright. You tell her before we leave tonight, or I will tell her tomorrow, just before you have to spend the whole day with her, and when she asks me why you lied to her, I'll tell her exactly why you did it."

Charlie felt the blood drain from his face.

"You wouldn't dare," he said, his eyes wide with horror.

"Really? Try me."

Artemis raised her eyebrows, her entire face still. She wasn't bluffing. Of course she wasn't. There wasn't anything she wouldn't dare do. That was one of the things Charlie loved the most about her — or, at least, it had been until this precise moment in time.

He gulped, and Artemis narrowed her eyes as she leaned in and hissed at him once more.

"You've got until the end of the night to buck up, Charlie."

With that, she turned on her heel and marched back across the garden, leaving Charlie to watch her storm off and away, the loose tendrils of her dark hair blowing wildly in the breeze behind her.