-Longing, rusted, seventeen-

Bucky thrashed and kicked, trying to get away from the bonds that tied him to the chair. His heart seemed to beat out of his chest. His eyes were shooting around, trying to find anything that would save him.

-Daybreak, furnace, nine, benign-

He yelled at the top of his lungs in anger, his muscles screaming in pain. He tried to shut out the man's voice, tried to shut out the noise in his head. His own body was betraying him, punching him, locking him up in the back of his own head.

-Homecoming, one-

Bucky felt himself slip away at the sound of his voice, felt his body ignoring his own commands. But he tried to keep holding on, holding on to that one memory. End of the line. He could hear it fade away though, slowly slipping away from him and out of his reach. He could see the light fade and replaced with only darkness, swallowing him whole.

-Freight car.-

His thrashing stopped, his breath calmed down and as did his heartbeat.

-Soldier?-

Bucky woke up in a pool of his own sweat, sitting up immediately as his arm grasped for the gun that was laying on his makeshift night-stand. There was nothing there though, only rats and tiny bats. He was greeted with the disgusting smell and the noise of traffic above him. He hid his head in his hands, taking deep breaths to calm himself down.

Till the end of the line.

He repeated in his own head. When he noticed he still remembered, he took a deep breath and stood up from the mattress he had been sleeping on. That one memory was the only thing he remembered clearly. The only thing that seemed to be his own memory and not one that Hydra had put in there. It was his, the one of Bucky's and not one of the Winter Soldier.

Bucky took in a deep breath as he put on his thick coat, adjusted his red shirt and his cap, hiding his face from whoever was looking for him. He put his gun in the back pocket of his jeans and pulled the coat over it to hide it from anyone's sight.

Every day was just like the last ever since Bucky had travelled from Washington. He would wake up, make breakfast, try to remember something, go out to get supplies and then go back home. It was his daily routine on repeat. Day in day out, without a purpose. Sometimes he would wonder why he was doing this. He was used to following orders, not to making his own decisions. He knew though that he could never go back to America again. People were looking for him, especially after Black Widow had released all those files onto the internet. Now the government and Hydra both were looking for him.

The days seemed endless and agonizing. It seemed to drag on and on like some never ending soap series. Until one day Bucky went further than the shop on the corner of the street. His back ached from sleeping on the floor, his head was pounding wildly and his arm was throbbing. He had forgotten that he had to go back to his home.

He found a park eventually, not many people were there but there were just enough to not make it seem abandoned. Bucky breathed the fresh scent, filling his lungs with the cold London air. It was nice there, the nature seemed to have taken over. Bucky even noticed some squirrels climbing in the tall trees as the ducks were swimming around in the tiny lake that was covered with water lilies. Soon enough he sat down on one of the benches in the park, looking at everyone that was walking by. He made sure his sleeve was pulled over his metal arm, trying not to alarm anybody of who he was.

He started to worry whether or not it had been smart to get out of his home, which was actually a part of the sewer, and to get out into the open where cameras could spot him. He did avoid any he could see but there were probably many hidden away. Every step he took could be his last one, either Hydra or the Government could spot him.

The ducks quaked at each other and even started to flap their wings, shaking Bucky from his worries. Something stirred in the back of his head and within a few seconds Bucky had grasped his notebook from his backpack and a pen to write down whatever he was going to remember.

He brought that notebook, a dark grey one that was slightly damaged at the edges, everywhere with him. His backpack was full of them. They composed the scattered memories that he had dating back to as far he could remember which somewhat pieced together his old life. He wrote everything down in fear of losing them all again. He was prepared, were something to happen, to walk away with nothing but that backpack. Which is why he always brought it with him, knowing full well that not everything written on those pages were pleasant.

Bucky was too caught up in his own mind trying to remember something to notice a young woman sitting down on the ground opposite of him. The woman leaned her back against a tree and pulled her knees up. She took out an old sketchbook that she held like it was the most precious thing in the world. Bucky flinched when he heard the pencil scraping on the paper, only then noticing her presence. She didn't seem to notice him though, her gaze focused on whatever was in that book.

Bucky was afraid at first, afraid that she was a Hydra agent and would speak the words that haunted him in his dreams. His heart beat quickened especially when he noticed that the book she was holding was red. Bucky's widened eyes fixed on her face. She didn't do anything to alarm him though, she just sat there, seeming content as she continued to draw. Her lips were pursed slightly, her eyebrows furrowed just a bit, forming crinkles on her forehead. Her eyes squinted slightly and her hair fell before her green eyes, hiding them from Bucky. He did get a glimpse of them though, recognizing the colour of her eyes and the shape.

Bucky let out a deep breath he didn't even knew he was holding. He continued to study how she worked. It seemed like she was completely drawn into whatever she was drawing, completely shut out from the world. She never flinched when a sound erupted somewhere, never diverted her eyes away from her work.

Since that day Bucky would come there frequently. Listening to the birds singing their songs on repeat, looking at everyone as they walked by. He even started to memorize the strangers' faces and the times they walked through the park. Especially that one woman, she seemed to be the only one except for himself that seemed to notice the beauty of that place.

She would sit there by her tree every Tuesday and Thursday, sometimes even Saturday night. She didn't even do anything special except for drawing or reading but it was enough for Bucky to notice her. In some weird way it made him feel at peace, the way a strand of hair, which was neither blond, brown or red but something in between, always seemed to ignore her complaints and fall before her eyes, the way she always frowned slightly whenever she made a small mistake, the way her lips pursed slightly when she was concentrated enough. Or the small smiles that seemed to play on her lips whenever she read a funny part in one of her books.

Some days she would take out a larger book, one that Bucky knew wasn't exactly made for entertainment. He found out that she was a student, ready to become a doctor. He could see that she also enjoined learning, the way her eyes always lit up when she understood something and how she enthusiastically wrote notes down in her notebook. After a while she seemed to notice his presence too, smiling at him every time she arrived.

The thing that Bucky noticed and liked the most though was how she always listened to music. She had this big headphone that she would put on her head. Her feet always patted the ground in the rhythm of the music and her mouth never could prevent itself from singing the words. She didn't exactly have a nice singing voice, sometimes she sang completely out of tune but it was something that made Bucky snicker to himself every time.

There was something mysterious though in the way she held herself. Something buried deep within her eyes, something dark. She seemed just as afraid as Bucky whenever someone stopped in the midst of the park.

He knew she was a fugitive from Hydra too, it was the reason why he had come here. Why Hydra wanted her Bucky did not know but she had been one of his last missions. One he didn't complete. If it hadn't been for Steve bringing him back, she'd probably have died a long time ago.

Bucky noticed that there was always a gun in her backpack. She never showed any other signs of fear though. She seemed to think that the park was a safe haven, shielding her from the prying eyes that were out in London. If he really had come here to complete his last mission, she'd realize it wasn't safe too late.

After a while Bucky became accustomed to London and all its noise and people. He didn't worry as much as before and he seemed to remember more and more every day. One day he had remembered something about taking a little blond guy into an attraction in New York. Bucky immediately took his pen and wrote down everything he remembered till the last detail, including the little guy throwing up until suddenly he was disturbed.

"I'm so sorry to disturb you, sir, but I..." A sweet voice interrupted him.

Bucky's heart skipped a beat in fright, his hand reaching for his back pocket instantly but when he looked up and met her green eyes he immediately calmed down. He loosened the grip he had on his gun and tried to smile at her from under his cap while adjusting the sleeve of his shirt. He noticed her stutters and the way she fidgeted with her hair.

"Go on." Bucky encouraged her when he finally found the words. He wasn't used to speaking. Usually he just remained silent and followed orders, he wasn't meant to speak for himself.

"I just..." She smiled at him sweetly till she face palmed herself. "I was so stupid, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Bucky noticed her clear British accent and immediately took a liking to it.

"Well I'm allergic to pineapple, you see, and this morning I got out of bed way too early to be healthy because of an exam that is coming up next week." She chuckled to herself. "So me and my sleepy head ordered an ice cream with chunks of pineapple on top."

Bucky chuckled softly and shook his head, diverting his gaze away from her light eyes.

"Soo, I was wondering." She held the cup of ice cream out to him. "If you could maybe take this burden from me and be my hero for the day."

Bucky hesitated, looking between her eyes and the cup of delicious looking ice cream in her hand. "Go on, it's not like I'm trying to poison you or anything." She chuckled at him while adjusting the strap of her way too heavy backpack that kept on sliding of her shoulder.

"Are you sure?" Bucky asked. He wasn't used to hearing the sound of his voice. It felt like he hadn't spoken in years. The only time he was allowed to speak was during a mission report or when he ordered other soldiers around, not when talking to a random person in public.

"Unless you want to reanimate me or even use CPR while I choke, yes, I'm sure." She slowly moved the cup closer to herself again, taking the small spoon in her other hand. "Not that I would mind though." She gave him a playful wink.

"I think I will go with the ice cream, then." Bucky laughed and carefully took the ice cold cup from her small hands, looking up at her with a grateful smile.

"Bummer." She smirked and then turned around towards her tree again before turning around to look at him over her shoulder. "Enjoy your ice cream!"

"Wait!" Bucky called to which she immediately turned around to look at him again. "Thank you." Bucky said. She only smiled as her cheeks reddened slightly, turning back towards her spot and soon enough she was drawing again, completely shut out from the world. Her smile though didn't seem to be able to get off her face.

Ever since that day the two would exchange 'good mornings' and sometimes 'good evenings' whenever they saw each other. Sometimes the woman even brought some extra coffees for him, probably thinking he was some kind of homeless person. She, who Bucky later discovered was named Grace, never asked for anything in return though, explaining to him that one doesn't always need something in return for doing something good. "Besides," she said, "it really isn't that much trouble. The couple more pennies are worth the smile on your face."

One day she asked what the notebooks were for after she saw the scribbles in them. Bucky told her that he had trouble remembering things. Grace smiled at that and seemed to understand. "You should eat plums, it contains an enzyme that enhances your brain and the ability to remember. Trust me, I'm a doctor." Ever since that day Bucky always ate 2 plums a day.

Bucky watched over her, knowing that any time now Hydra could come and kill her. He had made it his priority to save her from them. Maybe it was because this way he could redeem himself. Why her, you might wonder, why did Bucky choose to protect her? It was because she had been his last mission, the only one except for Steve's he hadn't carried out. She was the only person he knew that he could protect. And so he did.

As the days passed her smiles suddenly faded. She didn't listen to music anymore and seemed to jump slightly at every sudden sound that erupted. She never could concentrate as well as before, keeping on looking over her shoulder for something or someone. Sometimes she would even throw her book away from her and hide her head in her hands, taking deep breaths as to calm herself down. She never said a word to him anymore and didn't seem to notice the strands of hair that were hanging before her eyes.

Bucky knew that she knew something was coming and it was coming fast. And so it did.

It was a regular Tuesday morning. It was already half past 4, while Grace usually arrived around 3 o'clock. Bucky fidgeted nervously, glancing up from his notebook every so often. The nerves filled his body, knowing full well that it was possible that she had already been assassinated. But maybe she just became sick that morning and decided to stay home. Bucky didn't know and that was what freaked him out the most. He wasn't used to hesitating, it was either kill or be killed before.

So Bucky waited, for ten minutes at least. He stood up and walked the path towards Grace's home. He was within a range of 10 metres of her apartment, glancing up at her windows when suddenly an explosion erupted from within the building, the windows breaking and scattering all over the street. People were screaming and running away from the danger, especially when there was gunfire, but Bucky walked right into the chaos and up the stairs. He ran towards the entrance of her apartment without hesitating. Right before he wanted to open the door with his gun ready in his hand the door opened right in his face. He aimed his gun and was ready to pull the trigger as soon as he had composed himself.

Bucky immediately lowered his gun from her face as soon as he met her green, widened eyes.

"James?" Grace's lips trembled when she met his eyes, her whole body shaking. She quickly glanced over her back and saw the men descending from the stairs. She seemed to think that Bucky was one of them, closing her eyes and clenching her fists.

When the men started to fire Bucky grasped Grace's arm and pulled her behind him, deflecting the bullets with his metal arm. There were 5 of them and there were only 5 bullets used till they all dropped to the floor. He felt Grace's body jump at the sound of every bullet, her hands grasping the back of his jacked in her hands.

Grace slowly peeked over his shoulder when Bucky stepped into her apartment, turning around every corner with his gun ready to fire. "James?" Her small voice shook him from his trance and Bucky glanced at her. He saw the tears running down her cheeks and a small hint of betrayal in her eyes as she eyed him. "Who... Who are you?" She wrapped her thin arms around herself while shaking violently.

He quickly diverted his eyes away from her. "Are you hurt?" Bucky checked the last few corners of the apartment. He packed some food that was left on the counter. He mostly took biscuits or canned food, nothing fresh.

"No, no. I..." Grace stuttered and frowned when he continued to pack food. She watched his every move, slightly afraid when she saw the hint of silver coming from beneath his sleeve. She looked at him like it was the first time she saw him.

"Good." Bucky finished packing and then grasped her wrist, pulling her out of the apartment.

"Wait, where are we going?" She tried to pull her arm back but it was of no use.

"Away from London." Bucky dragged her towards his scooter that was parked near the entrance of the sewer. He could hear Grace struggling to get out correct words, protesting and trying to escape from his grasp until he turned around to look at her. "There are probably more Hydra agents coming so if you want to survive, I'd suggest you hop on."

Grace remained silent for a while, looking up at his blue eyes, trying to find some answers hidden beneath his mask. She shivered under his hard gaze, knowing that he was probably the only chance of getting out of London alive.

"How do I know that I can trust you?" Grace looked at the man she formerly believed to be homeless, now realizing he was something way more. She swallowed loudly, shaking under his iron hold.

Bucky stepped on his scooter, handing the helmet to Grace. "You can't."

Grace hesitated until they heard other men running on the rooftops and soon enough gunfire near them. She hopped on immediately, wrapping her arms around Bucky's waist as he started the engine and drove way. Away from her former life, away from the life she had built after all the effort she had taken to keep out of trouble. Away from her last chance.