"You are to me."

Bucky looked at me, his hand still resting on my waist while the other was holding my head softly with his thumb tracing my jaw. He seemed confused at first, as if nobody had ever shown him any trust or kindness. He then smiled softly and slowly leaned closer again, his lips almost touching mine.

That until my belly decided to demonstrate a whale's call. "Bloody hell." I cursed and looked down at my stomach while Bucky chuckled lightly. "Did you hear that?!" I looked up at him with a shaken expression. "It sounded like some crazy minotaur from Narnia."

"Narnia? What's that?" Bucky frowned at me. First I laughed, thinking he was joking until he continued to look at me like I was the one who was crazy.

"You're kidding, right?" He shook his head no slowly.

"Oh my Chuck. Where's your childhood?!" I exclaimed. "It's like you didn't even have a TV!"

"Well, actually-"

"Shush!" I put my finger on his lip, at which he slightly narrowed his eyes at me. "We're going to watch Narnia when I'm done cooking, understood?" Bucky raised his eyebrow at me.

"Don't you look at me like that." I huffed but he only narrowed his eyes further.

"Anyway, me being the good doctor, who didn't kiss you a few moments ago because I never ever have a relationship other than a professional one with my patients, am going to advise you to give your arm a rest for the coming two weeks and do so order you to not move it, something you'll undoubtedly ignore which will lead to you needing another treatment in time because you're stubborn as hell."

Bucky shrugged, knowing that I was right.

"Now I'm going to see if they have any kind of food hidden somewhere." Without me really noticing my eyes wandered towards his lips again, talking slower while I did so. Within seconds I was completely distracted again.

"I guess I'll plan out our route to Wickendale then." Bucky offered while he placed both his hands on my waist and practically lifted me on my feet from the couch like I was as light as a feather. He made an attempt to turn around until I grasped his wrist and pulled him back.

"Wait." I said as my hand curled around his neck and into his hair, pulling him down until our lips met again. Just like last time my stomach did weird flips and my fingers curled, sparks erupting from beneath his fingers that were on my waist while his lips engulfed mine. It was meant to be a quick kiss but I soon discovered that I wasn't going to be able to stop any time soon.

You'd probably expect him to be rough or desperate since he's a kind of a master assassin. In truth though he was kind and soft, like he was afraid he'd hurt me with the slightest movement.
I felt like my heart was going to burst when he started to trace my jaw with his lips and planted kisses right under my ear, his thumb drawing circles on my waist.

"James." I tried to hold in the groan that threatened to escape from my lips. Bucky only hummed in response, planting even more kisses on my neck, down to my collarbone.

"I need to get some food." I bit on my lip while silently praying to Chuck that maybe he'd give me the strength to resist him. My stomach demonstrated yet another whale's call only this time it sounded more like those murlock thingies from World of Warcraft.

I could feel his hot breath tickling my skin as he exhaled deeply. He lifted his head from my neck so he could look down at me, placing his hand on my cheek while his thumb tenderly traced the edges of my lip.

"My name is Bucky, Grace, Bucky." He smiled when my breath hitched.

"You know I'm going to continue calling you James just to annoy you, right?" I chuckled nervously when his intense eyes didn't look away from mine.

He smiled again and bowed down to give me another kiss, only this time it was short. He then walked past me, his shoulder brushing mine which even after everything that had just happened sent shivers down my spine.

"Don't take too much or the owners of this house will know someone has broken in." He said while retrieving one of his journals out of his backpack. He then looked at me again. "Don't want HYDRA to find us now."

"That would be unfortunate." I smiled and walked towards the kitchen where I let out a deep breath which I had held in without even noticing. Everything that had happened suddenly crashed down on me and I finally realised what I had done. What the hell are you doing, Grace? I mentally slapped myself as hid my head in my hands. I looked through the doorpost and saw Bucky sitting down on the couch with his journal in his hands.

He's a master assassin, for Gabriel's sake, he killed people. I groaned a bit too loud in my opinion as I lifted myself from the counter and walked towards the fritch. He's like the complete opposite of you. He hasn't even seen Narnia for Chuck's sake! I sighed as I opened the fritch and saw only ketchup, some pickles and a jar of jam.

"You've got to be kidding me." I groaned and slammed the fritch's door shut and opened numerous of drawers in the hope that there was anything left. Finally I found some spaghetti hidden in the last drawer I opened only this was the green kind of spaghetti.

"Seriously? What kind of people live here?" I huffed and walked towards the freezer. There was only some frozen spinach left and something that looked like bread. I took both out, leaving the bread for the morning after.

Some curses and sloppy cooking later I looked at the spaghetti and mentally congratulated myself because I finally learned how to cook. Since the spaghetti had to boil for another few minutes I turned around and walked through the house a bit until my eyes landed on a picture.

It was one of a family with 2 kids, a boy and a girl. First I smiled but later It was painful to say the least. It reminded me of my brother whom I had lost in the accident. My fingers touched the frame, gliding over the boy's face which resembled my brother so much it was kind of scary.

Jesus, Sam. I bit on my lip to try and stop the tears from falling. That night of the accident he and I went to the cinema for some new movie from a series we were way too excited for. I think it was The Dark Knight or something? Since DC was kind of the only superhero movie company he and I were big fans.

Maybe a bit too much. I sighed as I put the picture back where it belonged, staring at it. Sam and I were much alike, maybe it was because we were twins.

We were kind of the same in some things but in others we were the complete opposite. He was stronger than I was and not easily broken. He could always concentrate well and didn't mind what people thought about him. He was kind of the perfect student in a way while I was some crazy fangirl that never could shut up. Still, we did everything together. Until that one day.

I can still remember every detail of the moment he lost control over the car. He wasn't paying attention, talking about some stupid post credit scene of Bane or something. He couldn't have possibly noticed the car that was following us nor the HYDRA agents who were in it.

Now he's dead, just like my mom, dad and basically everyone else I know. I looked down at my arms where the scars were still evident on my skin. It was all because of that one moment. If I hadn't forced him to go to the cinema with me, if I hadn't kept him from his studies we wouldn't have been in that car and he wouldn't have died. Plus it's not like I could go all Dean mode and sell my soul to save my brother Sam since demons don't exist. At least... I hope not.

"Grace? I think something's burning." Bucky's voice startled me.

"Sorry?"

"The food!" Bucky yelled from the living room.

"Food?" I frowned. "The food!" It hit me and I immediately ran towards the kitchen and saw how I failed to cook spaghetti with spinach.
A few disastrous moments later I arrived with two plates with burned spaghetti and some pickles in the living room.

"Bucky?" I stared at his back.

"Watch this." He said. A few moments later I stood at his side, looking at the TV.

"The Avengers?" I glanced at him and back at the TV.

"Something's gone wrong in their tower." Bucky answered.

I watched as the screen showed us numerous robots flying through the air and a few explosions in the tower itself. "Another of Stark's inventions gone wrong?"

"I think so." Bucky frowned.

"Wouldn't be the first time." I chuckled. "Spaghetti?" I asked and handed him his food. He didn't even give it a glance though, he was completely focused on the TV. "Don't worry, James, your boyfriend is fine. He's a super soldier and everything, some robots can't hurt him."

"This seems serious, Grace."

"Yeah..." I sighed. "They've defeated the surprisingly hot god of mischief and a whole army from outer space. Some Robots won't be that much of a challenge, right?"

"I don't know." Bucky frowned.

"Well, they can always bargain with Magneto. He could defeat a whole army of robots in like a millisecond with his metal powers and shit." I shrugged. "Anyway, have you found the dvd yet?"

~

My hatred for the owner of the house couldn't have grown stronger. Beside the lack of food in the fritch and the emptiness of the house they didn't even own any good DVD's. Not even Narnia or Lord of the Rings.

We had to settle for some movie called Most likely to die which was meant to be a horror movie but only succeeded in boring us to death. That's why Bucky and I decided to stop watching so we could at least sleep properly without having to wonder how some director could've possibly made such a horrid movie.

It was around 4 am when I was awoken from my deep slumber by some muttering from across the hall. At first I wanted to grasp the bottle of salt I had brought with me and laid down under my bed but then I discovered that it was Bucky who was making the noise.

"James?" Almost stumbling over my own two feet, I made my way across the hallway and towards his room. "James, it's 4 am. Go back to sleep." I yawned while knocking on his door.

"James?" I frowned when I heard him yammering in a foreign language. "James?!" I knocked again when I heard something crashing down.

"Fuck this." I opened the door and stumbled inside, seeing how Bucky was thrashing around under the sheets.

"Buck!" I tried to hold him still by holding his shoulders but I only made it worse. His crying hadn't stopped nor did he cease talking in what was probably Russian.

"Sergeant...." He almost knocked me down with his metal arm. "Sergeant James-." He continued while thrashing around in the sheets.

"C'mon, wake up!" I tried to wake him up by shaking his shoulders but all it did was getting me bitchslapped by his normal arm which caused me to all down on the floor.

"Don't make me!" He suddenly screamed through the Russian mumbling.

"Alright, now it's enough." I mumbled, climbing back on my feet and crawling on top of him so I could hold him down better.

"Sergeant James Barnes, 107th-" he repeated over and over like he tried to implant it in his brain. The tears never stopped falling from his eyes though and his attempts to hit everything around him didn't cease either.

"Please." He sobbed and suddenly stopped moving. It was like my heard shattered into billions of pieces by hearing that one word. He sounded so broken, so lost like there was no end to the torture he'd been through.

"WAKE UP!" I yelled louder than before.

His hand shot out and pushed me down on the bed, rolling us over in one swift movement while his metal hand locked around my neck and pushed me down into the mattress like I was some doll.

Before I knew it I was staring up at his freezing cold eyes that were looking like he could snap my neck at any given time. There was not even a hint of recognition is his eyes. All there was was emptiness, like all of his soul had been ripped out of his body.

"Bucky." I tried to gasp for air, my hands shooting up and enveloping around his cold metal arm to try and remove it from my neck. He didn't loosen his grip nor did he divide his eyes away from mine.

"Bucky it's me." It felt like my head was going to burst from the lack of oxygen. I could see stars forming in front of my eyes. "Please." I mustered up all of my strength to say that.

Suddenly his grip loosened and he fell back on the mattress, looking at me with wide open eyes when I tried to regain my breath.

"Grace?" He stuttered when I coughed loudly, my throat burning like hell.

My voice croaked, making me cough even more, my hand grasping onto the headboard. "Good morning to you too."

"What happened-" he stuttered, looking around the room like it had been someone else who just tried to choke me. "I, I-"

"I know that I'm irritating sometimes but you're taking it a bit too far." I tried to crack a smile but failed miserably. "That's gonna be a large bruise, great."

"I didn't mean to, I thought..." Bucky sighed, looking at me with big eyes like some lost puppy. He didn't dare to come near me, didn't even try to. "I'm sorry."

"It was the nightmares, wasn't it?" I finally regained enough breath, my heartbeat slowing down again to a somewhat normal rate.

Bucky looked like he wanted to kill himself when he glanced back at me. "I... I was just, I didn't think-."

"It's okay, James." I sighed, getting up from the bed. "I had nightmares too once." I confessed while hugging my arms around my body. "But I didn't try to strangle anyone." I muttered under my breath while heading to the door.

"Grace." He called me. "I'm really sorry, I had no control over myself." He apologized. "I never had any control." He sighed and closed his eyes, bowing his head slightly.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, I'll live. Besides, I had it coming." I shrugged, trying to make him feel better because the puppy eyes were killing me.

When there was a silence I suddenly clapped my hands together enthusiastically. "You want some tea?"