Phil let his eyes trail over the wilting daisies on his table.  The petals have begun to dry and fall to the table in a heap of discolored white.  The stems seemed heavy from its life, finally beginning to give into death. 

"Why do we kill these beautiful plants for our own selfish wants?  Killing life to surround ourselves with something we deem aesthetically pleasing."  Phil sighed.

Dan stopped scribbling in his notebook for a second and looked up at Phil, "do you not like my flowers?"

Phil shook his head, "no, I love it.  Thanks, babe."  Phil lifted his finger to a flower letting it shatter under his touch and join the rest of its dead family, "I just think it's weird that we take away these perfectly lovely lives."

Dan leaned back in his chair, "are you high?"

"Nope,"  Phil replied simply.

Dan raised an eyebrow and let his chair fall, "are you drunk?"

"No."  Phil let out a laugh mostly made of air, "I'm sober, I promise."

"Okay good."  Dan closed his book, "my dad yelled at me again today."

"For what?"  Phil asked feeling a twist of guilt.  He wished he could protect Dan from everything.  Even dumbass parents.

Dan played with his pencil his eyes low, "he said I was causing him too much stress."

"Why is that?"  Phil asked trying to find his eyes under his lowered head and curtain of mousy brown hair. 

Dan shrugged, "I think it's because I've been with you."

"They know about us?"  Phil felt a moment of panic.

"No." Dan tilted his head to reveal a bit of his eye, well, mostly his eyelashes.

"Then what's the problem?" 

"I mean you've kinda put an influence on me."  Dan looked up, "not in a bad way, that came out wrong.  With the nose ring and the staying out late."

Phil huffed, "if your parents are upset with you for that they should meet me."

"I don't think that would help my case,"  Dan smiled at Phil's light attitude.

"I was kidding."  Phil dragged a hand through his hair and let it quiff slightly, "I could make your parents go crazy."

"How's that?"  Dan asked, "they're already pretty insane."

"If they met me I'd do it.  I'd tell them off for treating you like nothing." Phil nodded, "yes. And I'd be sure they know how terrible parents they are."

"You do that." Dan chuckled.

"I want to." Phil felt some of his anger bubble down.

Dan looked all the way up, finally making eye contact, "do you think they'd let me stay the night?"

"I don't know." Phil shrugged, "I know in the past if you asked it was usually a yes."

"True." Dan took out his phone and began to type. 

"Let's do something."  Phil stands up shaking the table slightly.  The flowers bend under the sudden movement and begin to fall in a rain of white.

"Okay."  Dan stands up and wraps his warm hands around Phil's neck.  Phil looks down at the boy and smiles, "like what?"

Phil snakes his hands around his waist and pulls him close, "I don't know." 

Dan has to strain his head a bit to maintain eye contact, "Let's go for a walk?"

"I hate physical activity."  Phil moaned.

Dan furred his eyebrows up and puckered his lips, "please."

"Eh."  Phil sighed. 

Dan lets his hands fall down Phil's back sending shivers down his spine.  Phil closes his eyes at the feeling and allows it to wash over him.  His arms and his hands grazing his back.  Dan leans in closer and breathes warmly on his neck.  Phil follows his lead and moves his head in for a kiss.   Just as he was going to make contact Dan peels away and heads to the door.

Phil feels his stomach fill with anger and disappointment.  Huffing and throwing his arms down Phil follows Dan out of the door and sees him outside already.

Making sure to let his feet land harder than normal Phil shoves the door open, "Fuck you."

"Now you know how it feels,"  Dan said with a smirk on his face.

Phil stood for a second with his mouth gaped before finally settling on, "whatever."

"Look you're outside now.  Mine as well take a little walk."

"Wait!" Phil stopped, "I need to do something."

"What?"  Dan asks his weight on the toes of his feet causing his shoulders to lean forward.

Phil smiled, "This."  Grabbing Dan's arm he pulled him in close and kissed him deeply.  He tilted his head slightly and let his mouth open slightly more than what they usually did.  Dan responded with a similar motion.  Slowly Phil let a tongue slid over Dan's teeth, grazing over his tongue. 

Dan didn't protest with the sudden new experience.  He simply let Phil take the lead.  That only making Phil desire more of Dan.  Pulling away Phil smiled at the blushing boy. 

"Fine, I'll go on a walk with you."  Phil laced his hand with Dan's as they started away from the shop.  

Dan led the two through a small cluster of houses that were under a canopy of trees.  The branches were heavy with rain despite the sun shining brightly.  Their footsteps fell into unison as their hands swung.  Dan's rhythm of breathing became a sort of comfort to Phil.  He took shallow quick breaths that resulted in a sharp exhale of air. 

"I used to ride my bike down here a lot when I was younger.  My cousins used to live down this street."  Dan nodded looking around the road like it was filled with memories.  Phil wishes he could see what he did.  To Dan, anything might carry meaning.  A simple tree to Phil could hold a childhood scene that plays out in only his mind. 

"Do they still live here?"  Phil asked as Dan stared longingly at the street. 

Shaking his head Dan mumbled, "They moved away when I turned thirteen.  It was quite the tragedy to a kid."

"I'm sure."  Phil murmured, "I wasn't one to have many friends when I was younger."

"Really?"  Dan asked.  Not in a surprised tone.  It came across more curious than anything. 

Phil looked at the light that shone through the trees, "Yeah.  I lived far out in the country so it was hard to find people to play with.  I was an only child as well.  I think that was a major downfall in my social life.  Having siblings teaches you things I guess you just can't learn on your own."

"I don't have any siblings."  Dan nodded, "But my cousins and I were super close up until the move so I guess I got lucky."

"I always wanted siblings.  They'd be forced to be your friend."  Phil let out sort of a forced laughter.  That came out way sadder than he intended.

"When I have kids I'm not just going to have just one."  Dan declared stepping a bit close to Phil so that their hips bumped.

"You want kids?"  Phil asked.

Dan pursed his lips, "I mean, isn't that part of life?  Like, part of the step by step guide?"

"Dude, you're gay."  Phil spurts out through laughs.

"Doesn't mean I can't have kids, dude."  Dan joins in with the laughter.

"You don't have to follow the instructions on life."  Phil rolled his eyes, "You can do what you want?"

"But what if I'm old and I look back and think, 'damn I wish I would have had a big wedding and babies and shit, what if I did.'"  

"But what if you look back on your life and think, 'what if I did what I really wanted.'  Besides, there's nothing wrong with wanting those things.  I just want to make sure you want it for the right reasons.  You should be getting married and starting a family for you not because it seems right."  Phil smiled down at Dan.

"Fuck you for being so smart."  Dan lets out something that resembles a sigh mixed with a laugh, "Don't you want kids?"

"Maybe."  Phil shrugs his shoulders, "If I really feel the desire when I'm older.  I don't want to think about that right now."

"That makes sense."  Dan nodded.   

In that moment, Phil realized that the houses were beginning to thin out.  The road ahead was surrounded by trees on either side providing a shady path.  The side of the road was transitioning from clean cut mowed lawns to wildflowers and ungroomed grass.  They must be reaching the outskirts of the city.

"Wait!"  Dan stops abruptly making Phil trip over his own feet a bit and their hands to part.

"What?"  Phil asks a bit worried.

Dan smiles, "I just remembered there was this lake over here."  He jumps over a small dip in the side of the road and begins to climb up a small dirt path.

"What the hell? Is this legal?"  Phil asks but follows anyway.

Dan shrugged his shoulders, "It's owned by this old couple who used to give us lemonade and stuff as kids."

"That's sketchy as fuck."  Phil laughs but Dan rolls his eyes and begins to walk through the thicket.  Phil has a harder time maneuvering through the forest than Dan.  Either because of his height or because Dan seems familiar with the land.  Most likely both.

Their feet pass over fallen logs and bushes, "We were kids, shut up."

"Sorry."  Phil said a bit defensive, "Are you sure this is okay?"

"No, but you're the one that told me to take risks and stuff."  Dan pointed out as he pushed away a large branch. 

"True."  Phil let his worries go and just decided to go with it.  

Soon enough Dan ducked under a bush with Phil close behind, they were greeted with a decently sized lake.  An old dock was perched at the side closest to them and a small beach was drawn out on all sides. 

"This is exactly how I remember it!"  Dan exclaimed, "We would spend hours in here."

"I dare you to jump in."  Phil laughed but much to his surprise Dan peeled his shirt off and threw it to the side.  Despite Phil's moment of shock, he wasn't entirely mad at his spontaneity.  Phil would never argue against a reason to see Dan shirtless.  His muscles glided under his skin as he threw his arms up over his head.  The sun caught his body making him look like an angel.  Phil swooned the moment he threw his pants off to only be in boxers.  

"Aren't you coming?"  Dan asks turning around.

"Don't know."  Phil shrugged, "I'm pretty fine admiring you from here."  He let his gaze fall down to the thin piece of fabric keeping him modest.  

"That just doesn't seem fair."  Dan cocked his head.

Phil smiled and unbuttoned his shirt tossing it on top of Dan's pile.  Slipping off his shoes and pants Phil followed Dan to the dock.  It shook a bit under their weight and Phil was almost worried it would break under them.

"Don't worry."  Dan reassured, "It's always done that."

Phil nodded in response and at that moment Dan decided to run straight to the water doing a not so graceful dive into it.  For a moment, Phil was sure that he wouldn't come back up and that he'd have to jump in and save him.  That was until his head appeared a few meters away his hair clinging to his face.  Dan laughed a bit pushing his mop of hair back.  

Shaking his head Phil followed suit and jumped into the lake.  The water wrapped around his body in a warm hug.  It made him feel weightless, almost nonexistent.  Like real life was worlds away and all that mattered was the feeling of his limbs cutting through the current.  But he couldn't hold his breath forever and soon enough his head broke surface.

His foot grazed sand and it took him a moment to realize that he could easily reach.  Dan paddled to him with a giant smile plastered on his face, his nose ring catching light. 

"The walk was worth it, wasn't it?" 

"Sure."  Phil replied and reached his arms out to pull Dan closer, "I just like this pretty good excuse to have you in just underwear."  

Dan rolled his eyes but embraced Phil back.  Phil doesn't know what it is but something about Dan being in the water made him hotter.  Maybe it's because his shoulders and collar bone were in full view or because his hair was pushed out of his face.  Or perhaps it was his bare skin against Phils? 

Whatever it was Phil was even more enchanted by the boy, and he hated it.

He knew this moment wouldn't last forever.  This perfect moment of the two swimming together in a childhood pond.  Because with Phil, all good things come to an end, no matter what he does to try and stop it.  He knew that Dan would one day wake up and realize that Phil was a mistake.  Dan would realize that Phil's flashbacks and mystery would loose its original spark.  That eventually if you spent enough time with something broken you would realize there's nothing you can do to fix it. 

And that terrified Phil more than anything.  He didn't want to lose Dan.  It was selfish because Dan would be better off without him.  

So instead he decided to try and push back the thoughts and enjoy this moment of bliss.

The two swam for a while, the sun casting long streaks of light onto the lake making the water's reflection look like one of Dan's paintings.  Once they decided it was time to go home they crawled out of the lake, soaking.  Phil used his shirt as a makeshift towel and dried off his boxers.  Slinging it over his shoulder he pulled on his pants.  

Turning to Dan he saw him struggling to yank on his skinny jeans.  Laughing under his breath Phil tossed Dan his shirt to dry off.  Shooting him a thankful smile Phil rolled his eyes for what must have been the millionth time that night.  

"You ready?"  Phil asks and Dan nods.

"Won't you be cold without a shirt?" 

"Whatever."  Phil shrugs.

So they clasp their hands together once again on their way back to Phil's home.  The streets were only dimly lit by the corner lamps.  It was quite a sight to a passerby.  A soaking wet couple stumbling through a dark empty street, shirtless.  Smiling at the odd thought Phil relished the moment.  Stars were strung in the sky slowly as the sun casts its final goodbyes.  The houses lights were all on, families inside, laughing and making memories.  

Just in that moment Phil imagines himself many years later, like Dan, walking down this street and suddenly being hit with nostalgia.  He can see himself remembering back to this moment, remembering the moment he let the words stumble out of his mouth, "I love you."

Phil saw Dan through the dark, he saw a smile creep on his face, "I love you too."

A silence then fell over the two, but it wasn't uncomfortable.  It hung like a blanket, comforting.  They were both completely content with just the presence of one another.  That's how the rest of the walk went, a swelling warmth seeping through Phil's chest and fuzzy thoughts in his brain.  He could only imagine Dan experiencing the same thing in his own unique way. 

Phil doesn't even remember coming in the door and walking up the stairs but soon enough they were in the apartment.  The door shuts behind them and Phil presses his boyfriend up against the wall his fingers trailing all over his body.  Dan bucks his hips a bit as Phil lets his hands search a bit on his waist.  Pushing him back Phil breaks away from Dan's lips and kisses his neck not even caring about the marks that will show up in the morning.  

The warmth in is chest spills to the rest of his body making his heart pound a million miles an hour.  They were still a bit dewy from the swim which only emphasized their feelings.  Dan eventually wriggles his way out from the wall and begins to draw them closer to Phil's bedroom.

As they fall down on the bed Phil can only think about how much he loved Dan.