Kali felt unnervingly uncomfortable. The dwarves around her were happy and playful, and knew each other quite well. They were also all male, and therefore held back no ill-mannered jokes aimed at one another, but all seemed fit to avoid Kali with the jests. After many many trips around the hobbit-hole and to and fro from the pantry, the table was overflowing with a tasty looking assortment of foods that was being absolutely destroyed by the horrid dwarven table manners.

"I'm surprised the hobbit still has his voice!" Kali joked, slurping down yet another mug of ale, "He's spent most the night yelling to put his home back to it's rightful state!"

By now the thirteen dwarves scrunched into the tiny eating area were all drowsy on ale and good spirits, so it seemed only natural that everything was a hoot and a half for them. Kali's comment made most burst with a bark of laughs.

Kili's dark manner had vanished just like all the red wine in the area, and he was just as bubbly as the rest of the Company, "Mahal knows that won't happen anytime soon, we're still a dwarf short!"

Through the laughter, Kali's sharp ears could pick up a small mumble, "More dwarves, wonderful!"

"Only one more, dear Bilbo," Gandalf told the brown haired hobbit, tailing after him.

Suddenly Bofur, the dark haired one with the fur hat, called out above the joyous noise, "Bombur, catch!" and threw an egg across the table to the bulbous ginger haired dwarf seated at the other end. Bombur successfully caught the food in his mouth and the room erupted in a fit of cheers. Soon afterwards the lot began throwing food at one another and Kali couldn't help but grin and join the festivities.

Fili stood on one end of the long table ducking his head from the ceiling and he clutched multiple glasses of the ale Kali found a strange liking to. He stepped carefully among the plates, and kicked some out of his way when he deemed necessary, "Who's wants an ale?" he handed a couple off, "There you go!"

"Let him have another!" Dwalin gestured to himself, seemingly off his rocker this eve.

Fili gladly handed him another, and once Dwalin had the drink in his hand he poured it down another's ear trumpet. Oin, Kali thought that was his name, spluttered in annoyance and confusion, but all the other dwarves were hollering with sneers and snickers of all tones and volumes. Oin blew on the end of the hearing device, making the drink splash everywhere. Fili sat back in his seat and yelled out, "On the count of three!"

Someone calls out, "One! Two!" and the room is only filled with everyone's sounds of chugging their drinks. One by one the glasses are emptied, and following suit, the ill-mannered beings, including Kali, let out long and loud burps. The smallest of them all, Ori, released the biggest one.

**

Now that dinner was finally over, the dwarves began standing one by one and moving about the small home, once again making it hum with noise. Kali, on the other hand, decided to stay seated and drink more of the mouthwatering ale. However, when she heard Bilbo and Bofur, her laughter almost tipped her backwards.

"Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth!" Bilbo snapped, snatching the cloth from Nori.

Bofur objected, "But it's full of holes!"

"It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet." Bilbo explained.

The next sentence from Bofur's mouth made Kali think he was drunk, "Oh, and what a wonderful game it is, too. If you've got the balls for it."

Kali ignored the fact Bilbo looked ready to beat his head against the wall and focused her blurring vision on the nearing dwarf, "Bofur, you seem out of it, lad, maybe you should sit down for a bit, aye?"

He nodded once and sat down quietly, leaving her to watch Bilbo and Gandalf in the hall, "I just don't understand what they're doing in my house!"

Before Gandalf could reply, Ori walked up to Bilbo, "Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?"

Just then Fili strode towards the two using his usual bouncy gait, "Here you go, Ori, give it to me," he reached across Bilbo to take the plate from the small dwarf's hands, only to twirl and throw the plate at Kili, who had walked into the hall from the kitchen.

Kili then did the same and tossed the plate to Bifur standing at the sink in the kitchen. Kali simply laughed and listened to the brothers throwing various dishes around as she watched Bofur, Nori, Dori and Gloin stomping their feet and criss-crossing cutlery to create an off-kilter beat. Bilbo turned from yelling at Fili and Kili to shout at them instead, "Can-can you not do that? You'll blunt them!"

Bofur grinned, but did not still the movements, "Ooo, did you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives..."

And to Kali's surprise, the other dwarves began singing:

Blunt the knives, bend the forks

Smash the bottles and burn the corks

Chip the glasses and crack the plates

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Cut the cloth trail the fat

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat

Pour the milk on the pantry floor

Splash the wine on every door!

Kali shook her head, I should have know this song would be about Bilbo. But all the same she joined in the last verse, somehow knowing the words that were created on impulse.

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl

Pound them up with a thumping pole

When you're finished if any are whole

Send them down the hall to roll!

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" the entire Hobbit Hole was being so loud, it was a wonder how no neighbours had stopped by to complain. The entirety of the Company was laughing at Bilbo's reaction: he'd thought they were destroying his beloved dishware when in reality they were simply cleaning.

All laughter, however, was cut short and replaced with dead silence when there were three gruff knocks on the wooden front door. From her tucked away seat in the corner where Fili last left her, Kali barely heard the wizard's whisper of, "He's here." before all twelve dwarves, Gandalf and Bilbo all flooded to the front doorway, leaving her no choice but to follow.