He said this and there was a great rumbling to the East. The dwarves, the Wizard, the man, hobbit and Elvenking looked to it (the army, however, did not). Over the ridge stepped a large army of iron-armoured dwarves. They were being led by another armoured dwarf riding on a large battle-pig. Kali could clearly see this dwarf had red hair beneath the helmet he wore. His hair was long and braided, the hair around his mouth was white and contained two small tusks of some sort. She raised her eyebrow and lowered her bow, "Ironfoot..." Thorin's cousin, she reminded herself, cheering with the rest at the backup that had suddenly arrived.

Thranduil obviously hadn't remembered the spontaneity of Thorin, because he was suddenly riding his elk through his forces, shouting out Elvish commands, "Ribo i thangail!"

"Hey Thorin! Ironfoot has come!" Dain greeted, causing the dwarves to cheer once again. Kali finally noticed that there were men mixed in with the elves, but only when Dain rode his pig onto a small jutted rock to address them all, "Good morning! How are we all? I have a wee proposition, if you wouldn't mind giving me a few moments of your time. Would you consider... just sodding off!" there was a pause in which the townspeople cringed back and the elves withdrew their swords and stepped forward. Dain added as an afterthought, "All of you - right now!"

"Stand fest!" Bard shouted at his small troops.

Gandalf pushed his way to the front, to face Dain ahead of the others, "Come now, Lord Dain."

"Gandalf the Grey. Tell this rabble to leave, or I'll water the ground with their blood!" Dain threatened, waving his broad-ax at the lot of them.

"There is no need for war between dwarves, men and elves!" Gandalf tried reasoning,
A legion of orcs march on the mountain. Stand your army down!"

"I will not stand down before any elf! Not least this faithless woodland sprite!" Dain gestured to an angry-looking Thranduil, "He wishes nothing but ill upon my people! If he wishes to stand between me and my kin - I'll split his pretty head open! See if he's still smirking then!"

Thranduil's stone-cold anger turned to a furious smile, and the Dwarves of Erebor began cheering. Kali even laughed. Threats always did seem to amuse her, "Let them advance," Thranduil challenged, "See how far they get."

"You think I'd give a dead dog for your threats, ya pointy-eared princess?" Dain called back over his shoulder, nearing his troops, "You hear that lads?!" Dain rounded his pig around and had it running the length of his army now, "Come on! Let's give these bastards a good hammering!"

And so it begins... Kali was leaning over the wall, watching avidly as Dain's second-in-command called something out. The Iron Hill dwarves cheered. The elves began marching forward, but Bard's men stayed put.

Dain suddenly called out, "Send in the goats!"

And that's when Kali's face split into a sinister grin. The dwarves parted and from them marched out dozens of very large, very armoured goats with one rider on each. As soon as they broke through the ranks they charged to meet the elves.

However, the elves countered with their synchronized archery once again and sent a volley arching upwards at Thranduil's command, aiming to hit the rams from above, "Thranduil! This is madness!" Gandalf shouted to what seemed like no one, as no one was listening. 

It seems, though, that the dwarves had thought of that. Dain waved his axe and called out a command. The oversized crossbows that sat behind the dwarvish army had a purpose, it seemed. They released large pinwheel-type arrows that chopped the elven arrows to sawdust no problem and then flew on to slice right through the Elvish ranks.

Kali gasped, recoiling as a large portion of the elves were killed. It brought her somewhat back to her senses and she shook her head, This isn't right... none of this is right why are we fighting? Dain laughed darkly from where he parked his pig, "Hey! How do you like that? The old 'twiddly-widdly'! Ha-ha, ya buggers!" 

Thranduil screamed wordlessly in rage and pulled free his longsword, yelling out another command and the same thing happened as before. A volley of arrows was sent and an even bigger volley of even bigger arrows was sent back, dicing first the arrows then the elves. Again, Kali cringed. 

The rams were still coming, as if nothing was happening around them. The elves then went to Plan B. Those in front remaining, with the bows, pulled back and let the shield-and-spear carriers create a barrier, waiting for the oncoming rams. From beside her, Thorin sighed, watching the carnage with a blank look.

Somehow, Kali was okay with this.

The rams used the shields as a ramp to get within the barrier (not the use the elves had intended them for, I think) and all hell broke lose. By that time, however, Dain had begun leading his foot ranks down the hill at full speed and they broke through the wall with ease. 

Kali glanced around. Kili looked shocked at what he was seeing, and Bofur looked nauseous. Fili was frozen in place, Gloin was curious-looking and the others were bewildered that Thorin had let it come this far. 

Thorin looked at the battle with an intrigued and hopeful expression.

  It carried on like this for a brief minute before all movement below halted. The ground was shaking, something coming from the slopes of the SouthWest. From the spur of the smaller peaks and ridges burst massive worms, their teeth and jaws drilling machines that easily crushed the rocks and ground.  

"Oh, come on!" Dain groaned loudly as he watched the several wereworms jump from the earth. 

The retreated back into their holes and when the mist cleared an entire legion of orcs were rested atop a hill. The wood and cloth contraptions behind them were very sinister looking. The silence that rested over the valley sent a chill up Kali's spine. I'm not prepared for this. I'm not prepared for war. Not again. Not for this bloody Mountain.

"The hordes of hell are upon is!" Dain shouted, just as more orcs came running from the new holes in the ground, "To battle! To battle sons of Durin!" he spurred his pig forward.

I am not a son of Durin I am a daughter of Durin, Kali ignored the fraction of Dain's army rushing towards the orc legion and focused on Fili, who was trying to rally the others, "I'm going over the wall! Who's coming with me?!"

Everyone cheered, preparing to climb down the rope, when Thorin yelled at them, "Stand down!"

"What?" Ori asked over the murmurs.

"Are we to do nothing?" Fili retaliated angrily.

"He said stand down!" Kali snapped, following Thorin down the steps back into Erebor. That left the others atop the wall, wondering what was happening.

A/N: At least I'm updating a whole helluva lot tonight... :|