"Comb your hair Mei!" Ma barks, as she catches my reflection in the mirror, "Don't give the teachers a bad impression on the first day of school!"

"I already did Ma!" I shoot back, viciously running my hand through my frizzy untamed dark curls that resemble more mop than hair. Ouch, is that a tangle? I just brushed you five seconds ago, lion mane, don't do this now.

"What? What bad impression did you give already?" Ma's voice drops to almost a whisper. She stops dusting the mirror and turns around sharply with her nostrils flared and her lips pursed - a sure sign of danger, for me, that is. 

"No, I mean I combed my hair. Not that I got into trouble." I verify quickly while taking a couple of steps back from Ma and the feather duster in her hand, you know, to get a head start in case she doesn't believe what I say and decides to go all Spanish Inquisition on me. I eye the feather duster warily. That darn thing had featured prominently in my childhood, a constant overhanging threat whenever thoughts of skipping piano lessons or watching TV before I'd finished homework crossed my mind. Ma quit disciplining me physically when I hit 13, or as I like to think, when I got much too nimble for her to catch. Still, I developed a strong dislike for the feather duster, and typically keep a minimum of 2 metres from it. Yes, if you haven't guessed, Ma's Chinese, which explains the whole Tiger mom syndrome. And yes, that's why I get called Mei, which in Chinese signifies I'm the younger sister out of the two children in the family.

To my relief, Ma's face visibly relaxes. "That better be the case Mei. Be good at school. Are you all prepared?"

For the first time in a long while, I take a proper look at myself in the mirror.

White blouse with rolled-up sleeves, knee-length green skirt, school badge? Check.
Coffee-stained teeth, pale face, sleep-deprived hang-dog look? Check.
Flat chest, wild ugly-ass hair, super ability to melt in the crowd? Check.

Perfect, Haywood, you're all good to go. "Yeah, Ma!" I try to sound enthusiastic lest she berate me for not looking forward to the acquisition of knowledge.

"Ok. Mei, come sit down, I have to talk to you." Ma motions for me to go into the study room. I check my watch, it's almost time to head to school. This must be important.

"Wha..what Ma?" Gosh, she's even brought the sodding feather duster along. Shit is going down.

The room is pitch-black and forbidding. Before my eyes have the time to adjust to the darkness, Ma pushes me on the hard wooden chair, the one on which I'd spent many hours poring over my books, and shifts the table lamp such that the light is shining right in my eyes so I can't see her face properly. How is this a talk? This is a bloody interrogation. She might as well cuff me to the chair. What is going on? I raise a hand to shield my eyes from the glare.

Wait... I remember this happening 4 years ago on the first day of middle school! Ma had done the same - she had pulled me into the study room, unfurled her list of expectations of me in the form of a contract and coerced me to acknowledge the document, complete with signature.

Ma plonks said contract on the wooden table, which groans under the weight of no less than thirty assessment books.

==

MIDDLE SCHOOL CONTRACT AGREEMENT

This Agreement is entered into as of the 12th day of August, 2013, between Ambrose Lee Xia and Betts Haywood. Both parties have decided to consider the terms of the agreement to be legally binding by law should a breach happen or if this document is presented in a court. Listed below are the terms of the agreement:

1. No skipping classes.

2. Come straight home after school. No sneaking off to shop at the mall.

3. No piercings of any sort.

4. No grade lower than an A-.

5. No dishonor to the family (includes but not limited to smoking, drinking, littering, stealing, and drug-taking).

In return, Betts Haywood will receive $80 a month.

First Party Name: Ambrose Lee Xia
First Party Signature:

Date: 12-Aug-2013

Second Party Name: Betts Haywood
Second Party Signature:

Date: 12-Aug-2013

==

"Mei, now that you're in high school, we need a new contract. Something more updated... something more relevant." Ma paces up and down the cold marble floor of the small and immaculate study room with a devilish glint in her eye. I gulp. More rules? I don't think I like where this is going. "You..."

"Ma, can't we just stick to the existing contract. I stay outta trouble, give you good grades and bragging rights against the Martins, you feed me." I pipe. "Easy peasy, lemon squeezy." The Martins are our insufferable next door upper class neighbors who bought over the next three plots of land to extend their garage for their sixth car -  a champagne Lamborghini and have no qualms about flaunting their wealth in the most ridiculous ways. Their son, Ted, is an academically-inclined but socially inept spoilt brat who's in the same school and batch as I am, and has thankfully never gotten better grades than I have despite being coached by the best tutors in the country.  

"Shush Mei. As I was saying, you are going to high school. The circumstances are a bit more complicated now that you have undergone puberty and attained a tiny pair of sour lemons on your chest." She gives a small nod towards my A-cup tits. "As thankful as I am that they are small and will not attract a fair amount of attention, I'm concerned as you've spent the past 10 years of your education in what is essentially a convent, which has reduced distractions and sexual tension to a minimum. This will be your first time in a co-ed school with so much exposure to young, desperate, testosterone-driven males who will try to have their way with you. They can look good, smell good and taste good..."

Did she just say taste good?

"...but they also lie, and cheat, and hurt you. Very few high school romances last, so don't waste your time on boys now. Remember, feelings are temporary, achievements are forever. Take a look at the new contract, the changes are in bold. I have removed the point on coming straight home after school so you have some freedom to network strategically. I trust you to use it wisely."    

==

HIGH SCHOOL CONTRACT AGREEMENT

This Agreement is entered into as of the 15th day of August, 2016, between Ambrose Lee Xia and Betts Haywood. Both parties have decided to consider the terms of the agreement to be legally binding by law should a breach happen or if this document is presented in a court. Listed below are the terms of the agreement:

1. No skipping classes.

2. No piercings of any sort.

3. No grade lower than an A-.

4. No dishonor to the family (includes but not limited to smoking, drinking, littering, stealing, drug-taking and pre-marital sex).

5. Say no to every guy who chases you.

In return, Betts Haywood will receive $250 a month.

First Party Name: Ambrose Lee Xia
First Party Signature:

Date: 15-Aug-2016

Second Party Name: Betts Haywood
Second Party Signature:

Date: 15-Aug-2016

==

Wow, shit. I get $250 a month now? Hell yeah. Screw guys man. I mean, not literally, that would go against rule #4.

The guy I like will never ask me out anyway. What do I have to lose? I sign without a hint of hesitation. Ma flashes me one of her rare smiles of approval, which makes my spirits soar.

***

Will Haywood be able to survive high school with such strict rules in place? Read on to find out more!

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