I was lying on Emily's bed staring forlornly up at her ceiling.
My hands were resting on my stomach as I lay perfectly still like a body in a coffin.

Now all we needed was a giant organ.

"Riley?" Emily said in astonishment as she walked into the room. She chucked her school bag in the far corner. "Have you been waiting here for me all afternoon?"

"Kind of." I muttered not moving from my place and still gazing up at the ceiling.

Emily made her way to her cupboard and looked for something more comfortable to change into.

"So," She asked as she looked through her racks of clothes. "Not being rude but... Why are you here." She said bluntly.
So much for not being rude.

"She has a boyfriend!" I cried out, sitting upright and looking at my sister.

"What?" Emily asked not turning around. "What are you talking about?"

"Margot!" I said. "She's dating Emmanual!" The sting in my heart got stronger as I said that.

At this Emily spun around. "What!?" She said again, marching over to the bed and sitting down.

"Yeah." I sighed, flopping back down. "They went on one date and now they're together."

"Okay and... Margot told you herself?"

"Yes she did. She basically accused me on still liking Claire, not knowing what want, and not asking her out."

Emily nodded. "Well she's right about some of those things."

"What things?" I asked defiantly.

"Not knowing what you want, still liking Claire-"

"I'm over Claire okay!" I butted in why didn't anyone believe me! "I don't like her anymore and that's the truth!"

Emily raised her eyebrow. "Okay then." She paused. "And Margot knows this?"

"Yes!" I was getting agitated. It was like we were going in circles. "She asked me if I liked her, we had a shouting match and then she kissed me okay!"

"Wait," Emily's eyes grew wide, "She kissed you? Again?"

"Yes." I mumbled I could feel my cheeks turning red. "Right before she walked out."

Emily slammed down her hand on the bed, making me jump!

"Ha!" She exclaimed."It all makes sense now!"

"What makes sense?"

Honestly I had no idea what she was on about. Sometimes I regretted coming to my sister for help because her mind seemed to be on a whole different track and I felt like I was on the sidelines.

We were just a year and a bit apart but obviously Emily was way more mature than me when it came to figuring out people.

"Okay." Emily breathed, she was focused. I could see her putting all the puzzle pieces together.

After a few seconds she turned to face me.

"So." She began, I sighed hoping this wasn't one of her delusional speculations. "Margot's dating Emmanual because after you turned her down she felt sad and vulnerable. Emmanual is a source of reassurence and comfort. But she doesn't actually like him and she knows it. That's why she kissed you," She rolled her eyes, "again, because deep down she's hoping that you might actually have feelings for her."

I stared up at my sister. My facial expression read you've lost it now!

"Riley close your mouth. You look silly."

"How did you get all of that?" I was really taken aback.

"Riley, the signs are all there! You're just too blind to see them!" She got up and went back to her cupboard.

"Now you have to decide are you going to just let Margot go or are you actually going to be honest with yourself and her."

She looked at me over her shoulder. "Riley do you even know what actual feelings are? Because you've just been ogling a barbie for three years."

I ignored her snarky comment, lifted myself up off the bed and walked out of the room.

I needed a cold drink.

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I restlessly twisted in the duvet covers. I couldn't get comfortable. I glanced at my alarm clock on the bedside table.

It was 3:30 am in the morning.

For some reason I just couldn't fall asleep. I would close my eyes for a few minutes and almost fall asleep, but then I'd wake up again, all agitated and uncomfortable.

The worst part was, the whole time all I could think of was Margot. She'd plagued my mind, infected my conscience.

Everytime I thought about her my mind started whizzing. There were so many emotions, and it petrified me! I'd never felt this was about anyone before.

Yes, when I saw Claire I froze. That was different though. I froze because I didn't know what to do or say and I was afraid of looking stupid.

But whenever I'd thought about Claire my heart didn't skip a beat as it did now as I thought about Margot.

That's it! I couldn’t handle this!

I swung my legs out of the bed, got up and began to pace the room. That's what I did when I had to think.

I went over what Emily had said.

One - I had told Margot I didn't like her which had hurt her.
Two- Margot then went on her date with Emmanual. 

Which I still didn't understand because surely if you didn't like someone you wouldn't put yourself through the pain of having to be with them?

Three- Emmanual asked Margot to be his girlfriend and she had said yes.

I thought about Emmanual and Margot together. Going on dates... Holding hands...

Kissing.

I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to punch myself. Margot had only agreed to go out with Emmanual because I had been stupid, and said the wrong thing, then done nothing about it!

I had my chance. I was just too blind to see it!

I climbed back into my bed. I could finally see the full picture.

I liked going over every Friday to watch Montrose Mansions with Margot. I liked doing silly, stupid things that annoyed her, and I liked the way it felt I held her in my arms! And I loved the way it felt when we kissed!

I liked Margot. And I was sure as hell going to tell her that!

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A/N wow it's been a while! Sorry life is really crazy at the moment! But I will be publishing a few more chapters in the next few days.
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