Chilled's View

I smiled madly like an idiot for the past few minutes. It all felt like it was just yesterday when I asked Ze to come over to my place for the weekend, when really it has only been two days. Despite the two days that have passed, I couldn't help but squirm in anticipation. Ze would be coming over to my house. Alone.

It was going to be just me and Ze.

All weekend.

My smile widened. "God, I can't wait till Steven makes his way over here! Imagine all the things we can do together--" I stopped mid sentence. 

My thoughts wandered over to dirty things that I would just love doing to Ze. I shook my head, my cheeks heating up in embarrassment. Stop thinking like that, Anthony! Stop! He's your friend, you shouldn't be thinking about doing things like...like that with him.

I shivered and scrunched up my nose is disgust at my own thoughts. Maybe I was going to far with my feelings? I mean, I'm not even sure if he likes me at all. This whole ZeRoyalChaos shenanigan could be---; no, it is a game to him. I'm the one taking this whole ship to another level. That's my only way to get closer to him to though... Playing this game, going along with the fandom is my only way to flirt with him without getting called out.

This fandom brought me closer to him.

I smiled softly. I have to thank all my sub's and friends for bringing me this close to him. There would be no ZeRoyalChaos without them. Ze and I wouldn't be so close as we are now. I took a deep breath and shook my head.

"Even if I really want this to be real...us, ZeRoyalChaos. I need to know when to back off. There is certain boundaries that I cannot cross even if I really want to... Ze is still my friend at the end of this and I'm not going to ruin the friendship we have because of my ridiculous feelings." I told myself with a frown etched on my lips. I knew that that was something I probably couldn't do for too long. 

You see, acting really was my forte. I was better at being devious, you know? But hiding feelings from someone you really love and care about is a whole other thing. It's not going to be as easy as I say it is. There's going to be moments where I absolutely want to hurt myself for not even playing along with the little ZeRoyalChaos jig. My feelings were not going to be getting in the way of our friendship now. They never were going to. I'm going to make sure that it stays that way and that I don't fuck up like I usually do. I may be the great ChilledChaos and all, but man do I suck when it comes to dealing with my feelings. I'm like a little eight year-old trying to say 'hi' to his first crush. I ruin everything is what I'm trying to get at, really. 

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, messing it up more than it already was. 

I stood up and walked over to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I grabbed what I needed to eat some cereal. 

"I should probably clean up around the house a bit before he gets here. I don't want him to think that I live in some kind of pig pen. That would be a horrible impression to make on his first day over. I bit my lip and ate my cereal, the thought of Ze never leaving my mind for a moment. 

I guess we'll be seeing how things end up going when he arrives.

I smiled and nodded to myself.

I can't wait to see him and his gorgeous face.

~*~

Scrambling to clean up the mess that was littered around throughout the house, I grinned to myself at the thought of Ze being impressed at how clean my house was. I mean, come one. I seem like a total slug to the others. Yeah, I can be lazy, but that doesn't mean that I don't have my 'nanny' moments where I really want to clean because even I know that my house is a complete mess that nobody...I mean nobody would like to see. 

I hummed and ran around, picking things up and placing them back where they belong. I tossed trash away and placed loose games a CD's back where they belong. I shook my head and laughed bitterly. Man, I'm such a slob sometimes. No...all the time.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. I rose an eyebrow and walked over to it. It couldn't be Ze, there was no way. He shouldn't be here till tomorrow the latest and midnight being the earliest. Who the hell was ringing the doorbell then? I don't think I ordered anything either... Walking towards the front door, I took a deep breath and placed a smile on my face in case it was Ze by any goddamn chance -- which I highly doubt it was. I reached for the doorknob and opened the door, my eyes widening in surprise.

"What the fuck?" Is all I could manage out through my shock.

What...--- Why? Why was my main question. This isn't good.