I slowly awake. Immediately, I get an awful headache. Crap... My head must have been badly knocked. My memories are still fuzzy in my mind... What happened? I have the feeling that a lot of things happened, but the pain in my head makes me unable to reflect with lucidity. I vaguely remember a chaotic battle. We had to fight... I still remember that I had this sensation... The unique and undefinable sensation, when we fight for our lives, when we narrowly escape death at every moment, but we have to continue the fight. In these moments, my body has no limits. I can do everything, and I know what I have to do... I have to fulfill my duty, and for that I can do anything. But... This time, it's different. For the moment my memories are lost in my foggy mind. Then I see some of my memories, like in a dream.

The sound of the horse galloping on the muddy ground... The downpour... The tumultuous ocean... Thunderbolts... Fire... Explosions... Fog, everywhere... Titans... Their nightmarish faces... Blood... Despair... Chaos... Anger... And also... Eren.

I start to panic. Where is he?? I try to look all around me. I am sitting, with my back against a cold horizontal iron bar. I can't even move because of the intense pain. My body seems in fire, it hurts so much, everywhere... I must have been hurt in the battle, and by these men. Our enemies are not scrupulous... at all.

Fighting my pain to not pass out, I try to stand up. I immediately fall on the ground. Ouch... My hands are tightly tied up behind my back. The heavy chains are scratching my wrists, making me bleed, and prevents any movement. The clothe tightened in my mouth prevents me from speaking and makes my respiration difficult. I only can stay on the ground and look around me. The room is dark, the floor is cold and metallic. The only light source comes from a little aeration hole, located at the top of the wall. It doesn't bring a lot of light due to the cloudy weather outside. I can't see anything that is more than a few meters away from me, the rest is totally into darkness. Almost no noise, except the sea, which is like a constant and atone whisper. To be honest, its monotony seems really spooky now. It gives me strange sensation of emptiness and solitude.

I try to take my gag off, but it's way too tight... So tight that it hurts. I can't even move my hands to remove that thing from my mouth. I look around me, searching anything that could be helpful. I finally notice a little rusty screw protruding from the metallic bar I am sitting against. By performing strange contortions, I end up reaching the little spike. By scratching my gag with it for several minutes, I end up making a tear in the clothe. I pull on it with all my strength, and I finally succeed to rip the gag up. It falls on the ground, and I catch my breath. Now I can breathe normally...

"Eren?" I call.

No answer. Am I alone here?

The echo on the metallic walls doesn't seem very distant. I must be in a small room... Maybe in a ship's hold. That's right... There's still one. But then, does that meant that... The Marleys are bringing us back to their land? Are we already leaving the island? I try to think clearly. No, impossible. If the ship was really moving, it would be making a noise... The engine able to propel such a huge mass must be very noisy, right? And I would have felt a movement... I can hear birds outside. I don't think they could fly over the sea... It certainly means that we must be still near the shore... I think. Nothing is clear in my mind... I hate not to know. Being unable to act is so frustrating for me. I can't even look back. Perhaps Eren is just behind me, and I can't even turn to look...

Ha... I remember clearly now... I still can see him being torn apart from the titan, helpless. I failed to bring him back home, far from our enemies. Even worse, I put myself in danger instead of helping him. And... He protected me. Because of me, he had been captured and we lost. I don't what happened after that... I was unconscious... I was supposed to protect him, but it wasn't even worth a dime. If I can't help him, I don't deserve to be at his side. I can't give him back what he did for me I don't deserve his scarf.

Music: 進撃 pf-medley20130629 巨人
By Hiroyuki Sawano

My eyes fill with melancholic tears. I hide my face in my scarf... which I don't find wrapped around my neck. The truth then strikes me. I don't wear my scarf. I search it everywhere around me, I don't find it. It is just missing. I can't believe it... I immediately miss it very badly, as if I can't live without it. I can't stroke it anymore and feel its softness under my fingers, its texture against my skin... I can't look at it anymore to remember my memories of him, and regain self-confidence when I need it... I can't put it on my nose anymore to smell its soothing scent... And... I can't wrap it around me anymore, and feel this unique warmth... In nine years, since this day when my life changed, I never lost this scarf. It was like a part of myself... Or nay, a part of Eren that never leaves me.

I'm cold. Awfully cold. I start to cry for real. Since all this time... I've almost forgotten the sensation of my tears on my cheeks.

Suddenly, I hear a rale, just behind me. I blench, surprised and afraid. I'm not alone here.

"Eren?"

A breathing sound, heavy and panting. I frown, anxious. Could this really be...

"Eren, are you here?"

Nothing...

Then I hear a dry cough, and an incomprehensible whisper.

"Hii... Haa..."

"Who are you??"

"Mi...hasa..."

I freeze.

"Eren?... It's you? Answer me!"

"Haaaa... Shit..."

I would have recognized this voice among a thousand others.

"Eren!"

"Mikasa. I have... some difficulties... to speak."

"Why? What's the problem? Are you injured?"

"Oh... Yeah, kind of... I think my jaw has been broken..." he articulates with difficulty.

"What?? Is it severe? Are you hurt somewhere else? And, what happened?" I question without hiding my concern.

"Don't worry about me... I'll be alright soon... But, what about you? Do you have any injuries?" he asks calmly.

"No, no... I don't... I mean, nothing serious. However..."

"What's the matter?"

I sigh sadly. I never give much importance to things, and yet... The only object which is dear to my heart was suddenly... gone.

"I... I lost it... The scarf... I lost it..."

"..."

"I'm so sorry, Eren... Your scarf..." I murmur.

"Don't worry about that... It's just a scarf, you know."

"No... that's not just a scarf, Eren. It's your scarf."

"Of course... I know this well... But... Do you mind so much? It's been a while... You could live without it, now. Do you really need it so badly?"

"I... Yes. I do. It reminds me... the beauty in this world, when all I can see is the cruelty..." I whisper.

There is a short silence after I finished speaking. Then Eren starts to speak softly:

"You know... Honestly... When I gave it to you, I wasn't figuring that you would keep it. I just did it... because you were cold. I had nothing more in mind. It was not as deep as you think...

"I know that. This is even the reason... What you did then... It was just... a beautiful gesture. And that's precisely why I kept it. To remind me to fight. To fight to protect what is beautiful in this world."

Eren doesn't answer this. Sometimes I think I would do anything to know what's going on inside his head. Then something crossed my mind, and I don't know why but I say it loudly.

"It looks like a sign... telling me that I don't deserve it..."

"What are you talking about?"

"No, that's nothing..." I already regret having said that.

"Yes, there is something. Don't lie to me. You said you don't deserve it. I hope you were not talking about what I think you were..."

I sigh. He won't give up before until he knows... He's like that, so stubborn...

"If I lost it... It's because I failed. I should have avoid the situation we are in. I don't deserve it after failing to protect you... from cruelty. The cruelty of our enemies, of this world..."

"Hm... I don't know why you think such things... I will tell you something. If you lost it, it's not because of you. It's because of them, and only them. The ones who try to take our freedom."

"Still... Today... I failed to accomplish my duty..."

"No. You did all you could do. Don't blame yourself for what happened. And... I already told you. I will do it as many times as I need to. With this one or another. You will always deserve it."

I silently shed a tear.

"Yes... I know you would do it... But... I can't help but think that... If I can't look after you... What am I helpful for?"

"Feeling useless... To be honest... I wouldn't have expected that from you. But don't worry, I know this feeling well."

"What? No Eren, you're not useless...

"Yes. At least, not as useful as I should be. I know I'm weak. It's for that reason you always had to protect me. Because you are not. But over the time, I finally accepted this fact. Of course, I'll always try to be strong enough for my dreams and my goals... but everybody can't be special."

"That's true, not everyone is... and yet, you are special. You're not like everybody, you have something more. It's just... you can't see it. Maybe you don't realize it yet, but... You deserve to hear that... again. I already told you... Everything you did for me... I will never be grateful enough for that."

"I don't know if it really makes that I'm someone strong..."

"It does, Eren. I know it better than anyone... It is why you are different... at least for me. And... You have been helpful to mankind... I mean, to the people of this Walls. More than anybody. Thanks to you, we now have a new hope. And all is not due to your power... Not everyone could have been able to accomplish what you've done. We are all indebted towards you."

"You're probably right... But how many people perished to make this possible? It's them we must be indebted towards."

"The Survey Corps always sacrificed while fighting. However, with you... Their deaths won't be vain. Just think about it... How many people would have died without you? And, you know Eren... The true strength is not to never fall. It's standing up again every time. That's why your someone strong... unlike me. It's true that I rarely fall... But when I do, I can't get up again alone. I need... Someone."

It was only words, but I was totally sincere. He needed to hear them. All I wish is supporting him in every possible way. What he needs is trust, and hope... He finally answers:

"Then... Let's stand up again, once more."

Then we hear a big noise resounding outside the hold. It reminds us that we are not alone here. We are in an enemy territory, and in danger. More we wait here and more our chances to survive decrease. Yet, we are powerless... I really don't see how we could get out of here... Once more, it's certainly not the best moment I could have chosen, but... I feel like I have to do it... now.

"Eren..." I start. "Listen...

"..."

"I want to tell you something..."

"You'll have all the time to say it later... I told you, we will get out of here."

"Maybe... But... I still want to say it. It's important for me... I finally have to say this... After all these years..."

I take a deep breath, and I tell him these words that come from the bottom of my heart.

"For what you did for me, and what you keep doing... I gave all my love to you, Eren. And I will always do."