Music: 進撃 gt20130218 巨人
By Hiroyuki Sawano

I open my eyes.

I am lying on my bed, brushing the red scarf that never leaves me. It has lost a bit of its softness after seven years wrapped around my neck, tarnished by rain and tears, but it still give me the same comfort. However... What if this could change? I can't refrain from thinking about it. Nothing separated me from him since this day when he wrapped this scarf around me. I have feared several times to see him go away forever, but, regardless of the obstacle which stood between us, he always came back to my side. But today, the future looks empty and hopeless. Thirteen years... That was the time given to the receptacles of titans to live. Eren... It will ultimately be an invisible force which will tear you away from me? A force so implacable that I couldn't save you? A curse... It's too cruel... I blindly believed that by becoming strong I could protect you from this ruthless world... But, like an invincible enemy, the curse of Ymir doom you to disappear from my life.

I stand up, trying in vain to get these thoughts out of my head. I prepare myself, I put my jacket with the symbolic winged shield, and then a too familiar alarm ring. In this new outpost of the Survey Corps, located outside the wall Maria, it means that a meeting is required by the officers. It's rarely important, unless it concerns an attack by the Marleys. However I doubt it was the case : they didn't attack us for a long time, they definitely abandoned using their naval force against us after having been successively defeated. I suppose that this meeting is of those which are boring and useless. Therefore I finish my short morning routine and watch myself in the mirror.

It seems that I didn't change a lot during these few past years... I think. My black hair falls straightly alongside my face and it doesn't go lower than my chin. I took the habit to cut it like that, instead the long hair I had as a child. My slanting eyes betray my Asian origins, and with my pale skin I look like my mother. Inevitably, bad memories reappear. Every time I remember this day, mixed feelings come to me. That day, I lost my family, and I lost my home. But I found a new one too. And then I made a promise: I'll never lose it. I don't want to feel this pain again.

By rote, I stare my long scar on my cheek. It's less apparent, but still here... It would probably be here forever. It doesn't really sadden me but, sometimes I see Eren looking at this mark, and I think he's feeling guilty or something like that. This is not what I want... I come back to my room.

It's been three years since we returned our home, since we learned the truth about our enemies, and since this moment I heard the existence of this curse. I hid my face in my scarf as I took the habit in the solitude moments. Today it soothe me, but what if you're no longer here? This scarf would only be a link with memories, regrets and lost dreams. I hate this world, this cruel world that strives to separate us.

Putting a stop to my dark thoughts, someone knocks on the door.