DA2CA2MABA2RA 52, '47

Dear Mom,

You used to always say that you would be here for me. But I see now that you lied. Where are you Mom? Please Mom, please come and save your boy.

I am hiding under the bed writing this. I can't stay somewhere else because if father sees me, he'll get mad and beat me again.

Yes again. You see, father used his beads on me this night and my entire body hurts so much. It hurts, mom, it really hurts. I can't even feel my knees again.

I am cleaning my tears off now as I remember how he dragged me to the strange smelling basement. How he knelt me down and made me put on a nun's clothes. There was this strange look in his eyes as he placed the rosary in my hands and told me to recite Hail Mary. I did but my voice was shaky and that was when he became angry. Then he started beating me. As he brings down his beads on me, he always screams that he wished I was a girl.

I can't do this mother. I hate my life and I hate you and I hate father too. I hate everyone in this world. You don't love me. Father doesn't love me. Even Mary, our mother in heaven, doesn't love me because if she did, she would have saved me.

I don't know if I can live here anymore. I can't take the pain anymore. I've been making plans to run away but I don't know when. Not when Father is always at home.

The clock has chimed 10 pm. It is time for bed even though I ate nothing--Father refuses to let me eat when he flogs me.

Goodnight mom, but one last sentence before I close this book.

I've been thinking of something bad. Something really really bad whenever I see father and I know that you would scold me if you read this but sorry mom. Since you left, that good boy you raised has left also and even though I know I shouldn't be writing this down, I will. This is me letting you know in advance. So that it wouldn't be a shock to you.

Here is my bad thought: I might kill father soon and when I do, I hope he rots in hell.

Also, I would have recited the Hail Mary on this page but I won't. Not when Mary let me down and let Father have his way again. Just like I hear Father say to Grandad, fuck you Mary.

Ave Maria.
Not sure I'm your boy anymore.

A/N: Poor boy. What are your thoughts so far?! And thank you all for 4k reads and 500+ votes! I appreciate your kind gesturesss!🫶🏾❤️❤️ I'll be updating soonn!

Nita.