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Confessions

Raman walked up to the DJ just as the song on the turnstile was drawing to a close. His gait was confident, his eyes shining, and as before, most women in the room turned adoring and admiring eyes on him.

But he was oblivious to the stares as he smiled at the DJ, making his request. The DJ happily acquiesced and faded out the song, handing a microphone to Raman.

Raman took the microphone and moved to the centre of the dance floor. The few couples on the floor were just drifting away, as he started to speak into the mic.

"Ladies and Gentlemen. May I have your attention please" He began.

The noise in the restaurant died down, as everyone paused what they were doing, conversations ending as they stared at him intently.

"I apologise, maafi chahta hoon, aap logon ko disturb karne ke liye. When I was speaking earlier, ek baat kehna chahiye tha, jo mein ne kaha nahi, toh ab please just bear with me."
(I apologize for disturbing you all. When I was speaking earlier, there was one other thing I should have said, which I left unsaid, so please just bear with me)

He paused, looking out over the assembled guests, noticing the sneer on the face of his ex wife, the grin on his brothers face, the puzzlement on the faces of his friends, and then finally, the smile on the face of his wife, barely visible in the corner of the room. Barely visible, but he could see her, and his words were only for her.

He smiled sweetly at her, continuing in a husky voice, full of emotion.

"Baat zara personal hai, lekin kabhi kabhi dil ki baatein sab ke saamne karne mein hi samajhdari hai. Aaj mein ne hum sab project par kaam karne walo ki families ko thank toh kiya tha, lekin aisa ek koi hai, jiski mein khaas mention karna chahta hoon. Woh insaan jis ne mera saath diya, mujhe support kiya, sirf meri kaam mein nahi, lekin jis ne meri zindagi hi badal di. Bilkul akela pad gaya tha mein zindagi mein, sub kuch hote hue bhi kuch nahin tha, lekin us ne meri zindagi mein aa kar mujhe badal hi dala. Aur aaj mein sirf us ko thank you nahin kehna chahta, lekin kuch aur bhi aylaan karna chahta hoon."
(What I want to say is personal, but sometimes it's wise to lay your heart bare in front of everyone. I thanked the families of all those working on the project today, but there is one person who I want to make a special mention of. The person who has stood by me, supported me, not just in my work, but who has turned my whole life around. I had become very lonely, very alone in my life. I had everything but I had nothing. But she came into my life and she changed me. And today I don't just want to thank her, but I want to make a declaration too)

Everyone's eyes were on him, as he extended his hand in Ishita's direction.

"Ishita, please come here"

Ishita had remained sitting at the table after Raman left, trying to placate Mihika who was glaring daggers at Subbu. She had followed Raman with her eyes as he walked away, had seen him speak to Mihir and Romi, but then he had disappeared from her view, until his voice over the sound system had silenced her soothing murmurs to Mihika.  She had strained her neck then, and had seen his eyes searching for her. She had answered him with a smile, and as he had spoken, she had known that he would call her up.

He had thanked her publicly once before, at their society hall, by giving a speech in Tamil.

Tonight, though was different.

She had seen the glint in his eyes as he had taken her leave, and she knew that although he had acted civilly to Subbu, Subbu's words about their marriage being a compromise, a "samjhauta" and his taunt about her "condition" had bothered him deeply.

She knew her Raman and now that he had decided to give up hiding their love, she had the feeling that he was going to make a very public proclamation of his feelings.

Although Ishita was a private person, and had always disliked overt public displays of affection, when she was with Raman, her decided views on the subject went for a toss. As they had done that night in the cinema.

Being with him was all that mattered to her, and if she were to be honest, she did derive a secret satisfaction in being publicly adored and desired by the most handsome and desirable man in the room. And although Ishita did not usually have a jealous nature, Shagun's proximity always caused a deep insecurity in her. And not just Shagun. Remembering her jealousy that night at the Taj, when she had seen Raman dancing with another woman, that Sonia, still made her blush. She had felt the primal urge to mark him then, to make it known that she, and only she, was his woman.

To have it made known, beyond any question or doubt, just what she meant to her husband, was something which her heart welcomed. To have that proclamation made before Shagun and Subbu was an added bonus.

She stood up, and smiling down at Mihika whispered "Miku, next time, Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman saath dekhne jayenge, hmm. Raman ne toh uss raat mujhe kuch dekhne hi nahi diya." (Miku, next time we will go to watch Rahul Ban Gaya Gentleman together. Raman didn't let me see anything that night)

And then as her cousin's mouth snapped open in horrific comprehension, she  walked through the room, to where her Raman waited for her.

Raman stood in the middle of the dance floor, the murmurs of the crowd of his clients, friends and other guests ebbing as Ishita approached, her gait confident, any trepidation she felt well concealed.

He watched with besotted eyes as she appeared, her white sari shimmering around her as she took the few steps to him. A blush colored her cheeks and her eyes shone with love.

He swallowed, throat suddenly dry as he stared at her luminous beauty, his eyes dark with emotion and love for her. He loosened his black tie, then ran his hand through his hair, before extending it towards Ishita just as she reached him. She took his hand, her smile wavering tremulously as she met his gaze.

"Okay jaan?" he whispered for her ears only. She nodded and he smiled back at her, sweetly, before he brought the mic up to his mouth again.

"I know a lot about figures and projects and balance sheets." There was pin drop silence as he began speaking again. "Lekin pyar kya hota hai, woh toh mein jaanta hi nahi tha, Ishita. You taught me. I had lost myself, you found me, and you re-introduced me to myself. I love you Ishita, beyond reason, beyond words. Meri zindagi tumse hai, meri jaan ho tum."
(I know a lot about figures and projects and balance sheets. But I had no idea what love was until I met you Ishita. You taught me. I had lost myself, you found me, and you re-introduced me to myself. I love you Ishita, beyond reason, beyond words. My life begins and ends with you. You are my soulmate.)

He paused, his eyes glistening, welling up at the emotions he could finally express. Ishita blinked back her own tears, then slowly lifted her hand to his face, wiping away the precious drops that had escaped his eyes. He caught her hand, kissing it, then entwining his fingers with hers, before continuing.

"Jo kehna chahta hoon, woh mujh se kahin zyada acha, kisi ne is geet mein likha hai. Tumse milne se pehle zindagi ki parwah nahi thi, par ab toh jeene ke dua karta hoon, tumhare liye, tumhare sangh. This song is for you, my love"
(What I want to say, someone has written much better than me in this song. Before I met you, I didn't care whether I lived or died, but now I pray for life, with you, for you. This song is for you, my love)

Ishita could not stop the tears that flew freely from her eyes. He was so sincere, so loving, and she was so lucky. "I love you too Raman" she whispered through her tears. "I love you so much"

"No tears" he whispered, as he tossed the mic to the DJ, gently wiping her tears with his hands, his fingers running down her cheeks in a caress.

He heard Romi whistle and he grinned, smiling at his wife until her tears ebbed and she smiled back. At that, he snapped his fingers at the DJ, and  then took both her hands in his.

The music started to play:

Pal do pal
Ki kyon hai zindagi
Is pyar ko hai
Sadiyaan kaafi nahin
To khuda se maang loon
Mohlat mein ek nayi
Rehna hai bas yahan
Ab dur tujh se jaana nahin

He took her into his arms, swaying slowly to the beat of the music, leading her steps to match his. He mouthed the lyrics as the song played, his eyes holding hers in an intense gaze, his soul speaking volumes to hers through the language of love.

The room, the crowds, Subbu, Mihika, Shagun ... Everything appeared dim and hazy to Ishita. All that she could see, all that she could feel was Raman.

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Jo tu mera humdard hai
Suhana har dard hai
Jo tu mera humdard hai

He smiled slowly at her, brushing a gentle kiss on her forehead, before twirling her around. His eyes lit up with delight at the smile he received in return, and turning her around until she was in his arms again, he tightened those strong arms around her, as she lifted her arms to encircle his neck, caressing his neck.

Teri muskurahatein hai taagat meri
Mujh ko inhi se umeed mili
Chahe kare koi sitam yeh jahan
In mein hi hai sada hifazat meri
Zindagani badi khubsoorat hui
Jannat ab aur kya hogi kahin

Her arms around his neck, Ishita laid her head on Raman's shoulder, their slow steps matching as their shadows merged into one.

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Jo tu mera humdard hai
Suhana har dard hai
Jo tu mera humdard hai

Some other couples joined them on the dance floor, Mihika and Mihir amongst them.

Mihika had tears in her eyes as she looked at her akka and Jiju. Finally, her akka, who had so much love to give, had given so much of herself to everyone, finally her akka had also gotten back the love that she so deserved.

All the heartache, all the tears had been worth it, for the look that Raman Jiju was giving to akka was the look of a man completely in love, a man who would stand by her no matter what.

"Areh, zara hum ko bhi dekho yaar" (Hey, look at me too please) Mihir's voice cut through Mihika's thoughts, and she smiled at him, reluctantly turning away from her adoration of her sister.

Raman and Ishita had eyes for no one else. They had completed a journey from hate to tolerance to liking to friendship to love and finally to desire. Tonight, Raman had acknowledged their love publicly, and their mutual desire could not be hidden. Each slow step they took, each tender look they exchanged, his hand gentle on her waist, hers clutched tightly around his neck, every gesture, every touch, proclaimed more loudly than any words could, the intense attraction that they felt for each other.

Teri dhadkanon se hai zindagi meri
Khwaishein teri ab dua-e meri
Kitna anokha bandhan hai yeh
Teri meri jaan jo ek hui
Lautoon ga yahan
Tere paas wahan
Wada hai mera mar bhi jaoon kahin

"Sweetheart ..." Raman had come to a standstill, his endearment whispered into Ishita's ears.

"Hmmm?"

"I want to be alone with you. Please"

Ishita stepped out of his arms, and smiled up at his face flushed with need and longing. She took his hand, and led him off the dance floor, and out of the restaurant.

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Jo tu mera humdard hai
Suhana har dard hai
Jo tu mera humdard hai
Hmm humdard hai

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