first of all, i'm so sorry for leaving this story hanging for almost two years. as what i always say, i had too much on my plate that's why i don't feel like writing anymore. second, thanks really, readers who kept on asking if i already abandoned my stories, i almost. but i was always waiting for my own self to pull my shits together because you don't deserve an half-assed update. third, if you follow me on twitter or we're friends on facebook, maybe you already know what i did but to those who know me only here in wattpad, i want to say that i already left the fandom last march 2018. it was because of my responsibilities as an adult. i already closed my twitter spazz account and also, almost gave up writing already. i know it's been my breather but i really cannot cope up with my writer's block anymore, so i will continue giving crappy updates from now on just to finish my on-going stories. maybe i'll update once a month, so sorry if it will take me long once again before i post a new chapter. i'll make sure it will be worth the wait. so yeah? have a nice day! are you guys still here? missed all of you!

afireselu.

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chanyeol was busily tapping on his ipad once again when baekhyun came out of nowhere, wearing a super tight jeans and a plain yellow shirt. disturbed, chanyeol set aside his gadget and walked his way towards where his husband was seated, fumbling something on his phone. the giant's uncalled presence earned him the brunet's confused attention with his creased forehead. "what's the matter?"

"what's with the super tight jeans, park baekhyun?" chanyeol asked back with a hint of irritation on his voice but baekhyun didn't mind it, instead, hearing his husband call him by his wedded full name made his heart flutter so he wasn't able to answer the question at all earning a light tap on his forehead from the giant. "i said what's with those jeans?"

blinking, baekhyun followed where his husband's gazes were glued. it was darted on his thighs. chuckling, he pointed out on the black glossy jeans he saw on his luggage. "this? i used to wear this when we're still a couple; you liked this. i remember you once said that this jeans turns you on because it is perfectly made for my milkyㅡ"

with face all crunched up, chanyeol waved his hands in front of the smurf's face. "—i'm not asking about that. what am i trying to clarify here is that: why are you wearing that one?"

"why? do i look bad on this already?" baekhyun asked, clueless of what chanyeol was saying for him to understand. "should i consider another diet plan so thatㅡ"

"—park baekhyun, collect your damn self," chanyeol interrupted, he pulled baekhyun upstairs, still making sure that the brunet won't fall, and when they have reached their bedroom, he pulled into his luggage and took a super comfy and larger-sized black sweatpants and offered it to baekhyun. "change."

"but why?" although hesitant at first, baekhyun was left with no choice but to take the said wardrobe and tried fitting it on himself. "i look so lousy with this one."

rolling his eyes, chanyeol pulled baekhyun in front of the human-sized mirror and smiled gently when he realized that his husband is wearing his own sweatpants. "lousy, who the fuck cares? you could've been killing our unborn baby in your tummy with those tight jeans. don't ever wear that again or i'll rip that apart without you, getting yourself out of that goddamn jeans."

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it was already nearing dark when baekhyun decided to go out for a walk, he didn't mind asking for his husband's permission because he's still annoyed at him for ruining his outfit today. it seems like the giant was too preoccupied on whatever he is doing so that baekhyun was able to escape from the receiving area of their room. finally, he locked the door without making such noises that will call his husband's attention but unlucky of him, he didn't have his own footwear with him so he settled on wearing those gigantic slippers of his husband. he knows he looked so awfully bad right now with a pair of big slippers, larger-sized sweatpants and shirt. basically, he was wearing everything that chanyeol owns except from his underwear because baekhyun will surely knock his husband's head if ever he'll restrain him of wearing his tight boxers too.

six o'clock at canada feels like midnight in seoul already for baekhyun. maybe it's because the amount of people scattered around the vicinity wearing their casual clothes, fitted enough for #tgif. he felt scared of people in an instant. it was very unlikely of korea wherein he never felt foreign albeit that he rarely comes out of the mansion. he somehow regretted sneaking outside without his husband's notice.

"hey, alone?" a man on his early 30s approached baekhyun and it made him feel uncomfortable when he snaked his arm on the small of his waist. "you seemed lost, it's your first time here? do you need some help?"

gulping, baekhyun tried hiding the panic that's been building up on his inside. mustering all strength left on him, he tried his best to answer in a language that the stranger will understand. "married. have a husband already."

chuckling, the stranger finds baekhyun amusing and interesting. "oh. i see! you're a foreigner?"

nodding, baekhyun tried looking away, hoping that his husband will soon realize that he is missing. "korean. from south korea."

nodding, the old man consumed the space in between. "okay. wanna have some fun? i'll tour you around canada for free." but what the stranger did next made baekhyun shiver. he groped his ass. "but i'll be more than glad if you'll give me these."

as if on cue, baekhyun started pinching his skin. it was what sehun always told him. never show that you're panicking. "married. see t-this?" he finger-pointed his wedding ring.

the other man hissed. "so what?"

what happened next made baekhyun flinch. his husband appeared out of nowhere. he just blinked for a second and when he opened his eyes, poof! the stranger was already unconscious on the cold cemented floor while chanyeol was standing in front of him, his breathe was ragged.

"are you fine?" chanyeol asked. his voice was evident of worry. he never gave baekhyun the chance to answer. he let himself examine his husband by checking his features—even the unnoticed ones. "baekhyun. hey. baby."

by the mere mention of that word, it feels like baekhyun suddenly came back to the world. blinking, he started crying. "c-chanyeol. . i'm s-sorry."

hushing, he pulled his husband for a tight hug. that kind of hug you give your loved ones when you felt the need of seeing them just because. "it's okay. but don't ever escape again, baby. here, the only person whom you can trust is me. understand?"

"i-i just want to walk for a breather."

"i understand," chanyeol started caressing his husband's cheeks. "you can always tell me if you wanted to do things outside our hotel room, okay?"

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morning rolled in fast. it was chanyeol who woke up first and the image of his sleeping husband is what welcomed him. it took him five minutes before he realized that he's been staring at the beauty of his husband when baekhyun stirred up. he smiled, seeing chanyeol the first thing in the morning has always been his favorite start up for his everydays. he still can't believe that the person he lost for two years was now beside him.

"good morning, baby," chanyeol greeted. showing his ever dumb grin. "had a nice sleep?"

nodding, baekhyun scooted himself near his husband's chest. "never been this happy upon waking up, yeol."

"that was nice to hear," chanyeol pulled baekhyun closer. making sure that there was no gap in between their bodies. "hey. . it's our last day here."

"i miss korea."

chuckling, chanyeol agreed with that. korea's always been their home. "i miss our kids also." with the mere mention of that word, he felt a throbbing inside his chest. it's now or never. "baby. . ."

humming, baekhyun closed his eyes. "what is it that's keeping you distracted ever since we arrived here, yeol?" he may have not been vocal about it but baekhyun knows there's something bothering his husband. he knows why chanyeol acts like this and that.

chanyeol broke the hug. he sat up and baekhyun followed. combing the threads of hair that's been blocking his husband's eyesight, he absentmindedly made a sad face. "hey. . i want us to start all over again."

"aren't we doing it already?" baekhyun asked in amusement but he cannot hide the growing nervousness on his system. there will never be a right time for serious talks. baekhyun hated it. but it's inevitable. so why prolong it?

"with that said, i want us to come clean from out past and start anew, baby," baekhyun doesn't understand it at first because he has his forehead creased. "baekhyun. ."

"you're creeping me out," baekhyun said, voice lazed of unhappiness. "something wrong, yeol?"

shaking his head, chanyeol took his husband's hands and intertwined it with his. "look, i know it's never easy for you. you were the one who carried most of the burdens and pains of our past and i will surely understand you. but baby, i want us to start again. with that said, i want us to build our family. i want us to live in our house. i want us to plan our future again. i want us to restart. i want us to have babies. babies that came from our own flesh and blood. chanhee and baekhee will—" and what baekhyun did is what's making chanyeol scared for days already. he pulled out his hands from chanyeol's and wore his expressionless face. "baekhyun. . ."

"restart," baekhyun snorted. "forget our past? meaning we have to forget about eunji? our daughter?" he snapped. "do you hear yourself? you're talking about your own blood, chanyeol!"

closing his eyes for a moment, chanyeol tried to relaxed himself. it was really a sore topic for them especially for baekhyun. truth to be told, they never talked about eunji for the time being that chanyeol was with them. "it's not like that, baekhyun."

"then what?" baekhyun sounded so tired. "what do you want me to do, chanyeol? i may not have been vocal about eunji to you but it's because i still want you to adjust. to get your memory back."

nodding, chanyeol cupped baekhyun's face, good thing the midget didn't protested on it. "baekhyun. i have something to tell you."

as if in an instant, baekhyun closed his eyes. a tear fell from his eye. "w-what is it?"

"remember when i went out with the kids before?" baekhyun nodded. "they said they wanted to go to their school. . ." and that's when chanyeol started telling him everything from how his memories on the day they lost their daughter came back up to the confrontation he had with the back then principal of the school. "i know this will never be easy for you. we went here for us to grieve and give ourselves the peace we've always been deserving of."

baekhyun was still on the process of accepting everything chanyeol said. eunji is dead. eunji is now an angel. that he was waiting for nothing for two years. that the baby that he carried for nine months with him is now gone. he didn't even had enough time to bond with his own flesh and now this? "tell me you're just joking."

"believe me when i say it was harder for me to believe mrs. lee's words that day. i felt like i lost all the blood i have in my body. it was hard, no, heck, so painful. but the least thing we can do is to give our daughter just even a minute of silence and pray for her soul. we cannot do anything anymore. i wanted to be mad at the world for taking away our precious one that early but i just found myself getting mad for being dumb. always the dumb idiot, i am. i never suspected that what jessica did was sketchy. that if i didn't let my emotions rule, then maybe, we were not in this situation. that maybe if i—" baekhyun pulled chanyeol for a tight hug. sure it pains him hearing the saddest news of his life but seeing his husband like this doubles the pain in him. "i'm so sorry, baekhyun. for everything. for not being a good husband to you and a good father to our kids. God knows how i am feeling remorseful everyday thinking our situation and what happened to our daughter. i'm really sorry for the misfortunes that were happening in our life, baek."

"shhh," soothing the giant's back, baekhyun kissed the top of his head. "it's not your fault neither any of us, okay? i'm sure our angel understands that we did our best for her even though she was only given a short period of time here," he wiped the tear on his face and broke the hug. chanyeol was still crying but he didn't stopped him. "i want to give our daughter a visit before we go back to korea, yeol."