Percy's POV,

          You know the rest. I collapse crying, then run to my father who rejects me only to find my mother who too does not remember a son and finally I reach the top of the very roof I lived under and would end my life on.

Perhaps I should elaborate more.

        The fear shook my body as I ran as fast as I could towards the lake, I dived into it. I let the water wash away my tears and cleanse me. I didn't bother holding my breath as I swam deeper. I swam until I found my fathers palace.

      I rushed inside. I called for my father. He burst into the room. He wore his usual Gawain shirt and shorts.

     "Who are you?" He asked. "How'd you get here?"

      "Dad," I pleaded. I was crying harder than I had in my entire life. All I could think about was the way the justbpassed through me. How for the past few months people ignored me. How the ones I loved left me and and forgot who I was. "Dad, it's me. Percy, your son."

       "I don't have a son named Percy." He questioned. The look he gave me. The one of disgust. It tore through me. "Guards, take him away."

      "Dad, no please!" I screamed. "It's me, Dad. Dad, please." My voice was barely a whisper as buff arms dragged me away. The three me onto shore and for the first bit all I could do was cry. My throat hurt and my face itched. My heart ached and my mind was past the point of exhaustion. I don't know how I got there but the next thing I knew I was in my cabin packing my things. I only took my camp necklace, a photo of Mom and Paul and Riptide. I ran to the camp boarder. I'd pulled myself together enough to stop crying. The pain still tore me apart but it had dulled enough to be able to walk away.

     "You okay, kid?" The cab driver had asked me after I had entered the car and sat in silence for a while.

      "No. Thanks for asking though. It means a lot." I remember how amazed I was that a total stranger asked me the one question I'd wanted the people I loved to ask me but never did. They never even gave me a second look.

       I thanked the driver before existing the cab and sulking around the streets of New York. I felt people pass through me like I was nothing but mist. With each person that went through me, the hollow feeling in my chest only grew.

       I had to find my mom. She would hold me. She would give me a shoulder to cry on.

     Once I had arrived at the apartment I ran up the stairs till I reached my mom and Pauls door. I knocked twice. No answer. Weird. I grabbed the key out from the little hole in the wall. I unlocked the door and walked in. Paul was on the couch watching television. I could see my mom in the kitchen. I walked towards her.

     "Mom." I croaked. I went to rap my arms a round her in a hug but the simply evaporated into mist. I stared in horror at my hands. "Mom." I tried again and again but it just kept happening. "Mom!" I felt to the ground screaming her name. She just walked through me and sat down next to Paul. I ran out the door and up all the flights until I reached roof.

       I stopped at the edge. My whole family. Every one I'd ever loved. My world, my heart, everything. It was all broken. Gone.

     I looked over the edge at the cars below me. Asylum had to be better than this. I just wanted a break. I let a single tear fall down my face and  I felt the earth shake. I wanted it to end.

     Standing on that roof, I thought of everything I'd read about, everything I had told people about suicide. They all say it was an act of giving up, perhaps it is.

       They say, taking your life is a thing you should never do. They say there is always something out there, you can find a way to be happy. For the longest time, I believed it. I cling to the belief that things will get better. I tried to talk to my friends, even if they had forgotten me, maybe they could learn to know me again. I tried to start up new relationships with people. Actually that's when I realized there wasn't any future for me in this world.

      When I saw Scott, I thought maybe, it's stupid but maybe he could be my friend. That I could start something new with him and forget about all the other pain. Then he walked right threw me... that was the last straw.

     I tried going to other family, my dad, my mom. Even the strangers in the streets would walk through me. I figured I could just stay here, sulking in my misery in world that would never give me another chance or... I could start over in the afterlife. Choose to be reborn even.

       My point is, I never understood why someone would want to die, to take there own life. At least, not until now. I'm not saying because life gets hard you should just give away life. I knew there was nothing left for me. Why not end it like this?

           I was found, I was saved. I never did jump from that roof. I'm going to say this once so listen closely. You are already dead. Everyone is already dead. From the moment we take our first breath we are sentenced to die. Each breath resets that two minute clock that death has bestowed on us. Every second we spend is a second closer to death. If you really are considering taking your life, you're already dead. On the inside you are broken and hurt and ready to leave. Your soul is dead but your body isn't. The beauty of that is that you have a chance no other person of death would have. You have the chance to live again. If I had jumped, I would have lost the ability to go back and live again. So I ask you this, how many times are you willing to let that breath reset the clock? How many times are you willing to live before you die?

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       Okay... let's talk. Some of y'all may recognize the writing in this chapter. Yeah, this chapter was actually used in Omega Of The Dead Heroes.

    This chapter is a mess and short and a thousand other things. Congratulations if you've read this far! The chapters after this are really weird.
 
       Also, Juneteenth! And Pride month! Shout out to all those wonderful people out there, who treat everyone the same no matter your colour, race, sexuality, gender, etc. Spread the love, not the hate.

          Stay healthy!
         Last update: 19/06/2020