i feel really bad that i'm awful at finishing requests, so i figured i should say i'm really sorry

it's not that i don't want to or i don't make a conscious effort to but it feels almost impossible to focus on things that don't incredibly excite me and it feels like i have such a limited source of energy and i don't know why, and i feel awful for being so unreliable because if i'm going to open requests for anything i should be able to do it but i just CANT and i can't focus on requests and i want to because i like being helpful and useful and something that interests people but i feel so unable to, even if i could draw fifty things for things i fixate on

i feel like i have to force myself to do things a lot and i know everyone feels like that and i know i should be able to force myself but i don't know why i can't

is that a symptom of something? or am i just lazy? probably the latter i've been told i use my disorders as a crutch and i don't think this is even a mental thing

in summation i'm really sorry if you've requested something and i haven't done it i'll try a lot harder? i'm sorry if this apology sounds attention seeking i'm genuinely sorry