you know what time it is

but first have alignment charts i refuse to take criticism on

and now here we go

•••

kevin: sure is a shame that i can't be any more cool, sexy, and powerful than i already am but nonetheless i think i deserve it

arnold: it's three in the morning please sleep??

•••

kevin: nothing's worse than heartbreak! :(

arnold: i stepped on a dog's tail once and i wasn't able to explain how terribly sorry i was

kevin, nodding: you're right, you're right

•••

nabulungi: you've gotta get serious. break out the l word.

kevin, known prophet of wlw: lesbian?

nabulungi, rolling her eyes: the other l word

kevin: ...,.,..,,,.,.,.,lesbians????

•••

mckinley: alright, if everyone's done being stupid—

kevin: i actually had more but continue!

•••

mckinley: stop eating all the poptarts >:/

poptarts: but i LIKE poptarts—

mckinley: yeah, well i like dick but you don't see me talking about that every single second of the day!!

•••

nabulungi: hey, where's elder price?

all of district nine, simultaneously: probably somewhere disappointing jesus

•••

kevin: the stars are so pretty!

mckinley, in act one: yeah, well you're the prettiest star 💘💖💓💞💖💓💘💕

kevin: what was that??

mckinley, in act two: i said i'd hit you with my car

•••

kevin, before man up: god, can you be any more annoying??

arnold, tearing up: easily!

•••

nabulungi: you need a hobby

mckinley: i HAVE a hobby!

nabulungi: repressing your emotions isn't a hobby!

mckinley: hEY, i tap dance—

nabulungi:  t o  t h e  s o n g  a b o u t  r e p r e s s i n g  y o u r   e m o t i o n s ! ! !

•••

mckinley: alright. imagine i'm the last person alive. would you date me

kevin: if you were the last person alive, i'd be dead?

mckinley:

mckinley: ...okay you gotta work with me here

•••

kevin: if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly i'd have zero dollars bitch you thought lmao

•••

kevin, arnold, nabulungi, and mckinley, in unison: destroy the idea that any of us will calm down

•••

kevin: *SLAMS HIS FIST ON THE TABLE* ow

•••

kevin at literally any point post-musical:

•••

arnold: describe our relationship in three words!

kevin, about to get transferred: lol our what

•••

kevin: i have a really important dilemma i need help on.

arnold: sure, go for it!

kevin: am i prettier today than i was yesterday?

•••

kevin, after tiald: is this how you pictured your life?

mckinley: well, yeah, but i was a pretty sad kid

•••

kevin: this has to be my fault! anybody with hair THIS good has to be guilty of something!

•••

arnold, after accidentally creating a new religion by lying so much: let me just say, from the bottom of my heart, my bad

•••

kevin, about himself, after not getting to go to orlando: he was a man well acquainted with misery

•••

kevin, about to transfer: sorry guys, gotta take a sick day.

kevin: i'm so sick of all of you

•••

mckinley: i'm madly in love with you!

kevin, sipping coffee through a silly straw: well good luck with that

•••

jack price, before kevin leaves on his mission: i hope you don't do anything stupid

kevin, prepared to do all That: i hope you're not hoping too hard

•••

act two mckinley, holding up a picture with the word "perfect" on it: sigh where can i get a man like this

kevin: hi

act two mckinley: no

act one mckinley: he's literally the guy in the picture??

•••

arnold: it's my birthday!

nabulungi: nice! i hope you get to celebrate many more

kevin: yeah, studies show that the more birthdays you have, the longer you live

arnold:

nabulungi:

nabulungi: thats. how it works, yeah

•••

someone: *insults arnold*

kevin: i'm offended! i'm angry! i'm very tired!

kevin: i'm gonna go take a nap but once i wake up you're in for it >:/

kevin, four hours later: okay how dare you?!

•••

arnold: stop being mean to me i have eyes and i'm not afraid to cry

•••

kevin: oh, if you think i LOOK like an idiot, wait until i open my mouth

•••

mckinley: they pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful or heterosexual. if they want both i need a raise

•••

kevin: you need to stop avoiding our problems!

mckinley: i'm not! can we talk about this tomorrow?

•••

kevin: i'm the hottest person in this room by a long shot

mckinley: *walks in the room*

kevin: i'm the hottest person in the room by a significantly smaller shot

•••

kevin: i've gotten to the point where i need a stronger word than fuck