(gone girl)

THE PARK. Peaceful, quiet, the chirpings of birds with the laughing of children. Trees of emerald green, tranquil lakes spanning as far as her eyes could see. Blushing flowers on every corner, splashing the grassy fields with paint of red and blue. The real beauties of the park, however, had to be the roses. She lived in Briarville, after all. The area was basically named after roses.

And that's how Livia Wong found herself examining a barbed rose on Sunday afternoon, alone in the park, accompanied by nothing but the voices in her head that grew louder by the second. She had just finished lunch at home, and didn't want to stay in the house since Pamela had a few of her friends over. Livia had snuck out before they even arrived. She had no interest in their gossip, their planning and plots to fight among each other. She had played those games too, once upon a time. They were simply draining. At least for her. Livia didn't have a mind for strategies and cunnings and backstabbing.

But Pamela did, and she'll leave her sister to it.

When she was younger, she often found the park a bit boring. Sometimes, she'll get dragged here to do sports with the others, but she almost always started sitting in a corner halfway through, looking bored with her chin perched on her palm. Now, a few years older, she began to realise why everyone seemed to love this park. It really is pretty, and Livia's not much of a nature-lover.

Shutting her eyes, Livia allowed the breeze to gently caress her cheeks, sucking in a deep inhale. It was nice, once in a while, to be able to rest and be alone. At home, she was constantly being annoyed by Pamela, who always insisted on playing her instruments next door. At school, she's stuck with those guys and can't have a moment of peace. She couldn't see anyone she recognises here, though, which is nice. She fits right in.

A squirrel scurried by, and Livia immediately turned to watch it climb up a tree. A small smile emerged on her face. Once the squirrel was long gone, she turned her head, only to see a dark-skinned girl probably three or four years younger than her. She must have been spectating the squirrel too.

The girl must have noticed her staring, because she said, "What are you looking at?"

Livia blinked, nonplussed. "Not much. The squirrel's gone now."

"Do I know you?"

Livia stood for a moment, before quickly answering, "No. I don't think you do."

"I've seen you before, though."

"I mean, I won't be surprised. It's a small place."

Strange girl, Livia thought, taking in the eyes on her face that seemed oddly out-of-place. They were too old for a girl like her, Livia realised with a jolt. But they were also familiar.

They were the exact same shade as Melody's eyes.

Livia tried to hide her shock, but the girl must have noticed the glint in her eyes, saying, "You recognise me. You've seen me before."

"I don't think I have," she responded with a quiet laugh. "What's your name?"

"Damini," the girl responded, clutching her backpack. "I moved here two years ago. You're friends with Sarah Hepburn, aren't you? I've seen a picture of you in her room."

"I... know Sarah Hepburn, yes." A friend of Sarah's. Goddamnit. "How do you know Sarah?"

"I'm friends with Alec," she replied shortly. "A while ago I went to visit him, and he wasn't there. Sarah told me I could stay for a bit and have a snack or two. She brought me to her room."

She didn't stop there.

"She said she's a bit angry at you. She wouldn't tell me why." Livia kept quiet, letting the girl talk. "She was almost crying."

"How long ago was this?"

"A few months," she replied matter-of-factly, a grim smile on her face. "Do you know why she was angry at you?"

"She still is," Livia mumbled. "I'm... not very sure why." That's true. Now that she thinks about it, she isn't sure why Sarah is so mad at her. It's not like she abandoned Briarville- Melody died after she left, and she only moved away for her dad's work. All she got was an angry voicemail, and boom. Her world turned upside down.

"Have you asked?"

Livia fixated her gaze on the girl, asking, "Why should I? She's angry at me. I'll just ignore her."

"Don't you want to know why?"

The answer was this: No, she didn't. She didn't want to know, because Sarah will make it her fault. And Livia would think too much into it and truly believe it's all her fault. Sometimes, ignorance is a blissful thing. Sometimes, it's better not to know than to know. There were many things Livia wished she could permanently remove from her mind.

So she answered, with a shake of her head, "Not really."

"But you do," Damini persisted. "You're curious, aren't you? There's part of you that wants to know."

Livia was growing a bit annoyed now, wiggling away from the girl, but she knew she didn't mean any harm. She must be younger than Jason, but older than Victoire. Probably thirteen or fourteen, she decided. Chocolate-brown eyes perched on a small, oval face, with dark locks laying on her shoulders. Livia would guess the girl to be of South Asian heritage. There were a lot of immigrants from those places in Briarville. The city has always been a bit of an international place. Wealth doesn't really discriminate that much. Well, she suppose it does, but not as much as other things. The world's unfair.

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"But satisfaction brought it back," Damini finished with a shrug. "Your curiosity is going to kill you. So why not ask for an answer?"

Why not ask for one? Fear, perhaps. Fear that she was at fault. Fear of facing the fact that she hasn't been the most cooperative or the best person since coming back. Fear of being the villain of this story.

"You're very wise," Livia replied with the hint of a small smile.

"You're avoiding my question," the girl responded brashly.

A moment of silence, before Livia replied, "Because I don't want to."

"But you do," Damini pressed. "Why are you lying to yourself?"

"Why do you know so much?" Livia chortled, though all she wanted to do at that moment was cry.

"I've seen a lot," was the girl's only reply, a surreptitious smile crossing her face from the half-compliment. Pamela was like that a lot, too. Livia often laughed at her sister for it. She supposed everyone's pleased by compliments. Humans always seem to crave praise. It's funny, because most of them go as fast as they come. What good did they do, except a moment of euphoria rushing through your veins, your conscious telling you, "you're not useless!", a second of self-confidence until the next person comes and shred you down into nothing but pieces?

"Have you?" Livia questioned with a tilt of her head, a smile appearing on her face too. Everyone thinks like that when they're young. Everyone thinks they have seen it all, but in truth, they haven't. She used to be like that. Maybe she still is.

But all she got from the girl was a firm nod. Damini is a very confident girl, Livia noted.

"You want to know why, so why not ask?"

You want to know why, so why not ask? The words were still ringing in her ear that night as she laid in bed, her eyes glued to the white ceiling.

Fear. Not wanting to bruise her ego. Not wanting to be in the wrong. Pride. Jealousy. Anger. Sadness.

The longer Livia thought about it, the more her own actions seem despicable. Yes, James was there. Yes, James was the one arguing with Melody, but was he really the true factor of her death? Or was there something Livia was overlooking because she wanted to? Sarah was being unreasonable too, but she's now having to deal with her parent's divorce and her brother's condition.

Maybe she was the rotten one all along.