The Story of The Crush: PART IV

Okay, I'm okay.

"Why are you murdering soaps?"

"Ah. Sh—" I almost jumped on my seat and almost break my sculpture. Him suddenly whispering to my ear while I was concentrating really caught me off guard. Jimin hyung breaks into laughter holding his tummy as he walks towards his side of our shared dorm. I huffed in irritation. "It's called making an art, hyung." My eyes were gawking at him as he sat on his bed across mine.

"You have no practice, soccer boy?" He took his backpack off and tossed it somewhere on the ground.

"I was about to ask you the same thing. What about your taekwondo practice, hyung?" I turned around to face my desk, focusing on my work again. He is a year older than me, albeit we are on the same grade, so I have to call him 'hyung'. I just wish he would act like one.

"I guess we got the same rest day this year." He yawned between the lines. Then I heard him shuffles, he was lying in his bed. For a moment I thought that my nosy roommate will finally leave me in peace and drive himself to dreamland, but I was wrong. "For whom is that by the way?"

"Ara."

"Interesting. I thought it's for your new friend—wait, what's her name again?"

"Kim Hyunji."

"You seem close to her. Who is she, Jeongguk?"

I paused, my chest rose and feel as I heaved a sigh in annoyance. "You got a lot of questions, hyung." I spoke to him without looking back because there's no need to. I could totally feel him smirking behind my back. That old, little man really enjoys his passion which is to annoy the hell out of me.

But now that I was being asked about you, I started to wonder too, who are you to me?

I once thought you could be one of my admirers at the first time I saw how your eyes looked at mine, but I guess I didn't see it correctly, or you just have natural sparkly eyes. I will never know unless you tell me.

Because based on how you reply to my text messages, how you talk to me at lunch or at the library, and how you don't even blush whenever I walk you home, it seems that you're not interested to flirt with me at all. It's not that I'm complaining, it's just vague. Usually girls will babble nonsenses just to make our interaction longer, but you? You're always straightforward, like you're always on edge to end our conversation that sometimes I'm the one who would end up creating useless topics so that we could talk more. It's something I don't usually do, but it's okay, because you're doing me a favor too.

You seem not to be interested with me, and that what makes you interesting. I also wonder what I am to you.

"We're just friends, hyung." The only answer I could give him since that's what can only make sense.

"Friends." Jimin hyung hummed in understanding, and hearing him hum instead of asking more questions tells me that he is actually being sensible right now. It intrigues me. I turned my torso to face him, only to see him looking at the ceiling. It intrigues me more.

"What are you thinking, Jimin hyung?"

He retraced the path of his gaze and looks back to me, shifting his body in his bed. He rested his weight on one elbow while facing me, leaning the side of his head into his palm. Another smirk tugs the corner of his lips up. "You eat lunch with her, study with her at the library, walk her home, and text her every night . . . I don't think that's friendship kiddo, that is courtship."

I rolled my eyes and turned my back again because that's bullshit.

"We are just close friends." I spat without looking back. This is what I hate about him, he always get nosy about his roommate's businesses, and he's leveling up today. We've been roommates since the first year of senior highschool, and this is our last year before college, but come on!

"Just saying." I heard him chuckle and shuffles again on the mattress. Maybe he's lying properly in the bed again. But I got surprised when a small hand suddenly pats my shoulder, he was already standing by my side without me realizing. "Make sure the feelings are mutual, so no one would get hurt."

Before I could even say a thing, the door screeched open. "I left my charger at the library." He said. He held the doorframe to support himself as he slides in his shoes.

I scoffed because only a miracle would help him get that charger back and not be scolded for using the school's electricity. "Good luck with that." And then I heard the door shut.

Make sure the feelings are mutual, so no one would get hurt.

You see me as a friend only, and I see you that way also. The feelings are mutual. I am sure no one would get hurt. You gain me as a friend, and I gain Ara back. It's actually a win-win situation for us.

It was about half an hour when I finished the soap structure. Two white swans kissing each other. There's no actually meaning behind it, it just seemed . . . romantic.

I immediately took a picture of it and radiates on the bird app. I pursed my lips, contemplating whether I should really send it to her or not. Pondering wasted my two minutes before I actually hit the 'send' button. There's no turning back now. It would be a waste of energy and art if it would only end up in my nosy roommate's memory and mine.

But of course, what did I expect?

Five minutes have passed and I still couldn't hear a thing from Ara, even though the two check marks have already appeared four minutes ago. Again, what the hell did I expect?

@jeon_gguk
wrong sent

@ohara_
Okay
Seen.

The audacity.

I poked my tongue to my cheek out of habit. I'm utterly annoyed and lost and absolutely downgraded. Why can't she recognize my effort just once?

Am I not worthy of attention?

Then you entered my mind in all of sudden.

How would you react if I have sent it to you instead? Would you like it? Would it make you happy? Would it distract you from your problems for a moment?

Again, I contemplated.

Does it make me greedier to seek comfort from you?

@jeon_gguk
hey are you busy

@kimhyunji
no, im not busy

@jeon_gguk
good

@jeon_gguk
[sent a picture]

@kimhyunji
woah

@kimhyunji
that's big
Seen.

Reading your reaction, and knowing how quick you reply, I smiled. Then I found myself chortling after. I also found it funny how simply talking to you made me happy. For a brief moment, you reminded me of the feeling of having a muse again.

@jeon_gguk
it's a soap structure ^^

@jeon_gguk
i was bored so i made one

@kimhyunji
are those swans kissing?
omg cute
Seen.

Shit. I shouldn't be giggling.

@kimhyunji
but that's double the
size a normal soap,
how did you do it?

@jeon_gguk
Oh i just melted a soap
to stick i to another

@jeon_gguk
do you like it?

@kimhyunji
i love it
Seen.

I said shit, Jeon Jeongguk. Stop giggling.

Okay, I'm okay.